October 6, 2008 3:57 pm  |  43 Comments

Links: Weekend Update

Plus, a Walter Herrmann sighting!

by Lang Whitaker

Now I understand why lawyers get paid by the hour. Trying to wade through the NBA’s Pedowitz Report has been a daunting task. I’m about 70 percent dunzo, but I still have many more words and footnotes to sort through. So I’ll have to post the Pedowitz Retort tomorrow.

In the meantime, I spent the weekend catching up on several things. Finally saw the film “Vicky Christina Barcelona,” which I found disappointing. For one thing, it was the least-funny Woody Allen movie in a long time, and that’s saying something considering his recent work. But more disappointing was that for a film about a love triangle including Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson, there was very little love or triangulating, if you know what I mean.

Saturday night I happened to flip past CBS just as their MMA event was starting. I’ve never watching UFC or Elite XC or any of that stuff, so I decided to give it a chance. And I really enjoyed it. I thought it was going to be too wild and too bloody, but was pleased to find that it was more technical than I expected. It was also cool to see people get KTFO (fast forward to the 7 minute mark here). There are some definite changes needed, though. For one thing, someone needs to address the way these fighters dress on their way to the ring. They’re so covered in logos and weird clothing that they all look like they’re boy band rejects.

More importantly, a little faux drama wouldn’t hurt. For instance, in the fight I linked to above, one of the fighters was from Belarus. All I know is that if Vince McMahon was in charge, this dude would’ve come down the aisle waving a foreign flag, saying he hated the US, etc. And the fans would’ve booed him mercilessly, all the while knowing it was an act and appreciating the showmanship.

Either way, I enjoyed my initial MMA experience. Almost as much as I enjoyed “Saturday Night Live,” which had a couple of great skits. This “Mark Wahlberg Talks To Animals” thing was ridiculous, which made it funny…

But my favorite skit was this one, and I don’t really know why, but it had me in tears…

(Maybe it was the doll hands that cracked me up. OK, it was definitely the doll hands.)

Let’s hit The Links…

QUOTES OF THE DAY
“I got some air balls in the practices so far. I just need to reduce this.” — Roko Ukic, Toronto’s back-up point guard.

“It was probably the most painful pain I’ve ever experienced in my life.” — Amare Stoudemire, on tearing his iris during practice.

THE LINKS…
• Saturday night on TNT, we get the first outdoor NBA game since, well, as long as I can remember. The Suns and the Nuggets are playing in California, where it’s projected to be 92 degrees at tipoff. Great idea to have guys out there playing in that kind of heat.

• Great note about the L-Wolves in the Rocky Mountain News: The L-Wolves are actually paying a combined $10 million this season to Juwan Howard and Troy Hudson, neither of whom are actually playing for the L-Wolves this season. How does McHale always manage to escape the top of those lists of the worst GMs?

• Donnie Nelson tries hard in this interview with my main man Mike Fisher at Dallasbasketball.com to defend the Mavs not really making any big moves this summer. Look, all I know is that the Mavs are in the toughest division in the West, and after trading for Jason Kidd, the Mavs finished the season 16-13. I’m just saying…

• Your Miami Heat starting lineup for game one of the preseason?
C- Mark Blount
PF-Shawn Marion
SF-Yakhouba Diowara
SG-Dwyane Wade
PG-Chris Quinn
And that was before Quinn sprained his ankle. I guess they’ll be a lot better with Beasley in there instead of Diawara.

It’s not the humidity that’s so bad, it’s the Heat.

• Check the note here about Jared Jeffries getting injury rehab tips from Terrell Owens. Dr. Norman Scott is rolling over in his grave.

• Finally, look who put on a shooting exhibition in Detroit: Walter Herrmann!! Get him out of those suits and onto the floor!

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This story is filed under: Blogs, NBA, The Links

Read more like this in:

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Oct.6 at 3:59 pm
    Technical difficulties, apparently…hang on…

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Oct.6 at 4:01 pm
    Fixed. Have at it…

  • Tanny Posted: Oct.6 at 4:26 pm
    The Mark Wahlberg skit was hilarious.

  • Tanny Posted: Oct.6 at 4:27 pm
    If that’s Miami’s starting lineup, imagine the bench.

  • Zig Posted: Oct.6 at 4:34 pm
    Lang, I believe the Suns/Nuggets outdoor game is being played in Indian Wells, Calif. not AZ…

  • Ben Osborne Posted: Oct.6 at 4:44 pm
    Like the Hulu clips. Don’t like the outdoor game. Shaq can’t possibly participate in that, can he?

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Oct.6 at 4:44 pm
    Fixing it, Zig…

  • James aka The Artist Formerly Known as Krayzie Bone Posted: Oct.6 at 4:58 pm
    Free Walter Herrmann

  • floe Posted: Oct.6 at 5:01 pm
    who’s in on fantasy basketball1

  • TADOne Posted: Oct.6 at 5:14 pm
    The towel boys will be working OT in that outdoor game.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Oct.6 at 5:31 pm
    No Gus Johnson shout-out, Lang? Unforgivable.

  • aotearaw Posted: Oct.6 at 5:42 pm
    Man, I neeeed to see that outdoor game!

  • Kene Posted: Oct.6 at 5:42 pm
    …you’ve been sleeping on MMA, Lang. Not to worry though, youtube is your friend. Look up clips of Fedor Emilianenko, Anderson Silva, Cro Cop, Rampage and Wanderlei Silva to start with. When its done right, there’s a lot of skill involved. Also, that ish is hella addictive :D

  • Myles Brown Posted: Oct.6 at 6:12 pm
    If you must continue to rip on the L Wolves, dont forget that were still paying the last two coaches we fired too. (Im 75% sure of this, since I know were still paying Casey…) And were about three months away from firing another one.

  • Paps Posted: Oct.6 at 6:20 pm
    Video only works in the good ol’ USA. Had the same problem with the Olympics.

  • BETCATS Posted: Oct.6 at 7:11 pm
    Herman is the man

  • what Posted: Oct.6 at 7:14 pm
    But Kevin McHale is the best GM in the league, you didn’t know? Just ask Forbes magazine.

  • peteb80 Posted: Oct.6 at 7:38 pm
    And Forbes magazine is the best magazine in the world. Just ask Kevin McHale.

  • thesubwayconnection Posted: Oct.6 at 7:50 pm
    Lang, those video clips don’t work outside the US. Just a heads up.

  • Alex Posted: Oct.6 at 7:50 pm
    Ah, I miss the Links!
    Back in their hey-day I valued the links way more than I did my Slam subscription.
    Best content on the web. Thanks Lang.

  • James aka The Artist Formerly Known as Krayzie Bone Posted: Oct.6 at 7:56 pm
    BET: I could never understand why your boys burried him after he went ape at the end of the campaign 2 season’s ago. His stats in those final 20-25 games were starter material on most teams in the league

  • Double R Posted: Oct.6 at 9:10 pm
    Lang, I like Kristen Wiig as Judy Grimes (look it up if you don’t know what I’m talking about). “I just need to reduce this.” Hilarious.

  • Eboy Posted: Oct.6 at 9:17 pm
    Talk to me when the Hawks have a ring, Lang. Oh wait….by that time you may be deceased (knock wood that’s not soon) or the NBA will cease to exist as all talent will be overseas. Great Links, though.

  • andrew Posted: Oct.6 at 11:02 pm
    Aussie Rules footballers play in Brisbane, regularly in 30 degree (Celsius) heat, which is pretty near the 93 degree mark in Fahrenheit.. I imagine that ballers have the same level of fitness as the footballers do, and will have remarkably good trainers on hand to ensure that the players are managed and treated accordingly. Considering the Aussie rules guys run anywhere between 7-15 kilometres (I don’t know that in miles, but it’s lots) in a game, I’m sure the ballers will be fine…

  • deuce21 Posted: Oct.6 at 11:31 pm
    4.5 to 9 Miles I think. Yeah, they’ll be fine…

  • deuce21 Posted: Oct.6 at 11:32 pm
    Btw when I saw that Heat lineup I threw up in my mouth a little…

  • Serge Posted: Oct.6 at 11:40 pm
    Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created from stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice,CHRISTIAN young lady.Clones(not 1)made in GERMANY,leader manufacturer of humans clones,it’s in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N.Bavaria,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town,they spreading globaly NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close you’ll be controlled too.Original family didn’t authorize activity with stolen biomaterials,it’s all should go to Cedars-Sinai MedCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett wasnt engage,by the wy

  • iLL wiLL Posted: Oct.7 at 12:35 am
    WALTAH!

  • Bro D. Posted: Oct.7 at 3:22 am
    If you want technical MMA skill, find Kazushi Sakuraba vs Carlos Newton in Pride. If you want to fall asleep, watcn Kimo vs. Dan Severin. Herrman simply owns. To answer James’ question for BET; see Vincent, Sam.

  • Krishan Posted: Oct.7 at 7:02 am
    kristen wiig is awesome. also, “say hi to your mother for me”, which movie did he say that?

  • “We’re going to play physical and we’re going to play tough” « Arsenalist Posted: Oct.7 at 7:04 am
    [...] Funny quote from Roko Ukic as pointed out by Lang Whitaker who’s take on the Pedowitz Report is something I’m looking forward to: “I got some air balls in the practices so far. I just need to reduce this.” [...]

  • Steffen Posted: Oct.7 at 10:08 am
    more on Amare Stoudemire: http://www.squidoo.com/AmareStoudemire

  • mat smith Posted: Oct.7 at 11:01 am
    apparently, we had the same weekend, the little hands killed me, say hello to ya mamma for me….

  • Robertino Posted: Oct.7 at 11:48 am
    Damned hulu. Can’t watch it outside of US!!!

  • Gerard Himself Posted: Oct.7 at 11:57 am
    Lang, I don’t get why you are posting a starting line-up of a team in its pre-season, actually, their very first game. It doesn’t mean anything, like Spoelstra said: “I wouldn’t read too much into this lineup”

  • Gerard Himself Posted: Oct.7 at 11:58 am
    otherwise good article, once again pointing out that Kevin McHale is…. I don’t know enough english words probably to describe him, other than “moron”.

  • BETCATS Posted: Oct.7 at 12:41 pm
    James i dont get it either

  • johnk Posted: Oct.7 at 1:25 pm
    I didn’t know who Herrman was until I saw him abusing Dirk on defense in a Piston game in January. Hes awesome.

  • b55 Posted: Oct.7 at 2:12 pm
    Michael Jordan of MMA = Fedor Emelianenko.
    Except that Fedor is still active.
    really, just watch all his fights you can find to see someone at the top of the game.

  • LeeVan Posted: Oct.7 at 4:40 pm
    Lang- If you liked the EliteXC event from Saturday night, then you’ll be thoroughly impressed upon viewing a proper, top-tier event, such as the UFC.
    *a note on the fighters’ entrance attire- They gotta pay the bills somehow, so they do so by getting paid to wear the logos of their sponsors.

  • Hersey Posted: Oct.7 at 5:07 pm
    Agreed on the SNL skits. Wahlberg was classic and the singing sisters my wifey in tears. It wasn’t just the doll hands, it was the teeth and forehead too.

  • Dacre Posted: Oct.7 at 9:53 pm
    STAT needs to be real careful with Iris tear - that can lead to secondary glaucoma…and fewer NBA Finals appareances.

  • Dacre Posted: Oct.7 at 10:43 pm
    …AND THIS JUST IN!!!
    Boris Diaw will look like BEN HARPER this season.

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