March 27, 2007 1:55 am  |  44 Comments

Dwight Howard’s Debate Club

Just don’t tell Dwight Howard that he got dunked on.

by Lang Whitaker

While working for SLAM over the last seven years, I’ve been able to see a lot of amazing things. From riding around Coney Island in a Rolls Royce with Stephon Marbury to being alone in a room last summer with five NBA All-Stars and hearing the most incredible stories I’ll never be allowed to write, my life has become a string of extraordinary circumstances that I keep discovering myself knee deep in.

Of all the memorable moments, one of the most fun days I’ve spent working for SLAM was back in the spring of 2004, when I went to Atlanta to write a cover story on Dwight Howard. Dwight had just finished his senior year at Southwest Atlanta Christian Academy and was rumored to be one of the top picks in the upcoming Draft.

At one point we went to the gym at Dwight’s high school to shoot some pictures, and the photographer asked Dwight to dunk a ball. Dwight did, and on the very first dunk he shattered the backboard.

It was awesome. I’d never seen a backboard break before. It sounded like a gun had been fired, and all of us there (Dwight, the photographer, Dwight’s cousin Kevin and myself) were immediately covered in a fine spray of glass. We stood there in silence for about five seconds, all of us shocked. Then we all started screaming and high-fiving each other, a combination of spontaneous disbelief and excitement.

Then Dwight’s dad showed up and asked who was paying to get the backboard fixed. That shut us up pretty quick.

Tonight the Orlando Magic were in town to play the Knicks, and I went to the game. It was a miserable affair (Russ took notes, which he’ll post later), with neither team able to execute anything resembling an offensive set nor put the other team away.

After the game, as Dwight was getting dressed in his locker, a cabal of reporters circled Dwight, waiting for him to talk to the media. Dwight spotted me across the room. You should understand that for some reason, Dwight swears SLAM is out to get him. He thinks we want to show photos of him getting dunked on as often as possible. As I’ve explained to Dwight numerous times, both in person and via our Sidekicks, that’s not our goal. We want to show anyone getting dunked on, not just Dwight. Dwight just seems to be in the middle of a lot of dunks.

Every time I talk to Dwight, he brings the conversation back to this topic, because he likes arguing and he knows I’ll give it right back to him. And tonight, even though there were about a dozen reporters on deadline waiting to talk to Dwight, all he wanted to talk about was getting dunked on. So we had this give and take across the locker room, with everyone listening in and waiting patiently…

DWIGHT: [his back to the reporters, getting dressed] SLAM magazine. Why do you guys always try to show me getting dunked on?

ME: Here we go again. Why don’t you stop getting dunked on and we won’t have to show so many pictures of it?

DWIGHT: I don’t get dunked on that much.

ME: You should see some of the pictures we’ve run.

DWIGHT: I’ve only been dunked on three times.

ME: In the last month?

DWIGHT: I’ve only been dunked on three times.

ME: Well, I know Kobe got you.

DWIGHT: Yeah, Kobe did.

ME: And I know Chris Paul just got you.

DWIGHT: I didn’t know he was going to dunk that ball.

ME: [laughing] Me, either. That’s why it was so awesome. He dunked it right in your face.

DWIGHT: No he didn’t. He dunked it right next to me.

ME: Dude, that was in your grill. I was watching that game and I…

DWIGHT: You weren’t watching that game.

ME: Oh yes I was!

DWIGHT: Why were you watching us play that night?

ME: Actually, I was watching Chris Paul play. Then he dunked on you. And you know what picture I saw the other day? Remember when Marvin Williams dunked on you back in high school?

DWIGHT: Oh, come on, now.

ME: You know he did! So you’ve been getting dunked on for a minute, really.

DWIGHT: I’m going to start my own basketball magazine.

ME: What are you going to call it, SLAMMED ON?

DWIGHT: [thinks for a second] DWIGHT’S DUNKS.

ME: You might want to come up with something a little better. [Dwight is finished dressing by now and the reporters are all looking antsy.] Um, I think they have some real questions for you, Dwight.

After they finished with Dwight, he and I sat and spoke for a minute, squashing our reoccurring imaginary beef. I was reminded once again of what a great guy Dwight is.

As I left Madison Square Garden, my mind flashed back to 2003 and that day in Atlanta. And I realized that for Dwight, debating dunks is a way of life.

I had pulled up outside the Howard home in Southwest Atlanta in my rental car. It was early on a humid Saturday morning, a few hours before Dwight was scheduled to go to his senior prom. I drove up and found Dwight’s dad — who is named Dwight Howard, Sr. — underneath a car in the front yard, tinkering with the engine.

Soon after I arrived, I gave the Howards the latest issue of SLAM, which featured a Slamadamonth of Marvin Williams in the Roundball Classic. Marvin appeared to be dunking on Dwight. Dwight immediately went on the defensive.

Luckily, I had my tape recorder running the entire time…

DWIGHT JUNIOR: I slapped the backboard when he dunked the ball.

DWIGHT SENIOR: OK, so who was playing defense on him?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: [pointing to Joakim Noah] But I had to jump over him, Daddy.

DWIGHT SENIOR: You had to jump over him?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: Yeah!

DWIGHT SENIOR: But the ball went in the goal when you were playing defense?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: The ball went in the goal when I slapped the backboard.

DWIGHT SENIOR: So who was his defender?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: Look, Daddy…

DWIGHT SENIOR: Ah-ah…

DWIGHT JUNIOR: You’re not paying attention. You saw the game. [points to mag] I jumped from way out there. He was already in the air, as you can see right here. When I left my jumping, he jumped over him, and I tried to jump through him to block his shot. When he dunked the ball, I slapped the backboard. He did not…

DWIGHT SENIOR: OK, alright, alright. [points at mag] Now, that’s the ball right there, right?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: That’s the ball.

DWIGHT SENIOR: And where’s your hand?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: Where’s my hand?

DWIGHT SENIOR: Right there. Seconds after.

DWIGHT JUNIOR: Which means he dunked before I got a chance to block it!

DWIGHT SENIOR: OK now, but there’s your hand right there, right? Where’s the ball?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: The ball is fixin’ to go in the hole.

DWIGHT SENIOR: OK, so who got dunked on?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: Nobody.

DWIGHT SENIOR: So what about him right here? What did he do?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: He’s watching!

DWIGHT SENIOR: He’s watching, but who’s playing defense?

DWIGHT JUNIOR: [puzzled] Who’s playing defense?

DWIGHT SENIOR: I’m just trying to figure out what the picture’s saying. The picture’s lying, that’s what the picture’s doing.

DWIGHT JUNIOR: It looks like I got dunked on.

DWIGHT SENIOR: What he said! It looks like you got dunked on! But you didn’t get dunked on? OK, alright.

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This story is filed under: Blogs, NBA, The Links

Read more like this in:

  • Drolfe Posted: Mar.27 at 2:08 am
    Sounds like an Abbot and Costello routine.

  • Max Posted: Mar.27 at 2:18 am
    Godddigity damn that was funny..

  • Simon Posted: Mar.27 at 3:53 am
    U gotta do Dwight some justice an put a whole gang of photos of him dunkin on fools. but i guess it wud be more fun not too…

  • Keith Posted: Mar.27 at 3:55 am
    You gotta get Dwight a column in the magazine. Dwight Snr I mean….

  • Eddie G Posted: Mar.27 at 4:53 am
    I checked the video on Youtube and I don’t think that Dwight really got dunked on by CP3. He was trying to play help defense but CP3 just blew right past him and dunked it. Now there’s a difference between that and the little guy just getting up and putting it in his face.

  • Slobodan Chutzpah Posted: Mar.27 at 6:33 am
    Good work again, mr Whitaker. You’ve really been bringing the heat lately, moreso than in many months, I’d dare say. Does this mean The Links is undead?

  • NAS Posted: Mar.27 at 6:48 am
    BEST IDEA EVER KEITH - GET DWIGHT SENIOR AN ARTICLE ONLINE - SERIOUSLY LANG

  • Western_dream Posted: Mar.27 at 6:53 am
    does anybody care if the picture is lying or not? It looks good dammit!

  • Topher Posted: Mar.27 at 6:59 am
    Slobodan Chutzpah is right Lang, you’ve been on a Kobe like streak lately, which kind of made me realize that I view you the same way you view Kobe. You often appear arrogant and aloof in your writing, but sometimes you do nothing but amaze and inspire. So even when there are those times when interest beings to wane, the next thing I know I can’t stop checking and thinking anout the links.

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Mar.27 at 8:47 am
    I can’t call Dwight Sr — or Big Dwight as they called him, even though he’s about half the size of Dwight Jr — because I think I still owe him for the labor of installing a new backboard.

  • Cheryl Posted: Mar.27 at 9:13 am
    That was crazy funny! Dwight’s dad sounds about as cool as junior. Loved the story, and sorry you had to stay up late to put it together. Dedicated Executive Editor, I must say! :-)

  • B Short Posted: Mar.27 at 10:36 am
    Hey is that Joakim Noah in the picture underneath Young Marv???

  • Sparker Posted: Mar.27 at 11:11 am
    i saw that clip of cp3 and dwight… and he most certainly dunked on him. and didn’t bosh bang one down on him last week? also: weird to think that noah is around the same age as dwight and marvin, and will be entering the league three years after. seeing his skinny ass, i bet he’s going to be dunked on repeatedly and with extreme prejudice.

  • Sparker Posted: Mar.27 at 11:13 am
    in the interest of fairness, though, what about some pics/clips of dwight dunking on people’s heads?

  • Mike Posted: Mar.27 at 11:53 am
    Big men that get dunked on are usually covering up for a wing player’s defensive mistake. Ewing got banged on quite a few times, only because he was rotating to try to block a shot. A young big getting dunked on just shows that he’s at least trying to guard the rim. Some guys (ex. Eddie Curry, Jerome James) just stand on the weak side and watch. Dwight getting dunked on isn’t so bad. It would be worse if he just stood by and watched. At least Dwight gets his revenge on the other end. Curry and James just foul out and go get a snack.

  • LordGefroh Posted: Mar.27 at 11:58 am
    stop talking about the night in vegas where you heard “the most incredible stories” if you aren’t going to tell us more about it. that pisses me off more and more every time you bring it up.

  • YOUR BEARD LOOK STRONG aka PIMPN Posted: Mar.27 at 12:17 pm
    thats just great. marvin has a penchant for doing things like this. didnt he fly over somebody earlier this year? was it marcus camby?

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Mar.27 at 1:20 pm
    a) You rode around Coney Island in a Bentley, actually. Similar to a Rolls, but not the same. b) Joakim probably wasn’t guarding Marvin as they were ON THE SAME TEAM. c) Wow, did last night’s game suck. I’m reliving it now, and it hasn’t improved with age.

  • Dylan Rice-Leary Posted: Mar.27 at 1:24 pm
    This is like an uber positive version of Lester Bangs’ and Lou Reed’s love-through-antaganizing interviews. Or something. Maybe I just read too much Bangs. Great work once again, Lang. really enjoying the ‘life’ in these new links

  • William Posted: Mar.27 at 1:33 pm
    Russ said “Joakim probably wasn’t guarding Marvin as they were ON THE SAME TEAM.”. Yeah I have recheck and reread the quotes three times to make sure that Dwight was wrong.

  • Mr. 416 Posted: Mar.27 at 1:55 pm
    “”a cabal of reporters circled Dwight”" I actually had to look that one up in the dictionary.

  • jon Posted: Mar.27 at 1:57 pm
    jus look at joakim noah in the pic! hahaha

  • deestarbuckz Posted: Mar.27 at 2:02 pm
    Quality comedy… In the meanwhile I am hating on you and ALL of your spoken and un-spoken experiences Lang.

  • dpak Posted: Mar.27 at 2:11 pm
    i love that he calls his daddy, daddy.

  • Kadavour Posted: Mar.27 at 2:38 pm
    sounds like my Dad haha. it’s funny in a - forgive this word - *cute* kinda way that dwight is 3x his dad’s size and calls him, “daddy”. if i had size on my dad i’d probably call him “pops” or something that shows i have size on him haha. I’m siding with Dwight on this one. It was Noah’s fault. If he tries to argue the Kobe dunk then that’s another story.

  • joe Posted: Mar.27 at 3:12 pm
    Seriously, its stuff like this that keeps me reading this site on the daily. Thanks for sharing Lang.

  • galo Posted: Mar.27 at 6:18 pm
    the kobe on dwight dunk was probably the nastiest dunk ever on an NBA floor. sick.

  • Garrett Posted: Mar.27 at 6:21 pm
    Nobody has been dunked on more than Zo. But on the flipside, nobody tries to block as many dunks as Zo, either. I think Lang even pointed out once that it’s almost comical how he tries so hard to block everything, but he’s Zo.

  • irvbx Posted: Mar.27 at 6:29 pm
    the funniest thing about that story is picturing dwight howard’s big ass saying daddy

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Mar.27 at 8:28 pm
    One other funny thing I remembered today was that when we went from Dwight’s house to his high school, Big Dwight was going to drive, and the photographer and I were going to follow in my car. Big Dwight told me it wasn’t far. “It’s about a mile,” he said. So we got in the cars and drove and drove, for about 20 minutes. When we finally got there I said to Mr. Howard, “I thought you said it was a mile?” And in his Georgia drawl, he said, “A country mile.”

  • DAVID Posted: Mar.27 at 9:04 pm
    I GOT U DWIGHT HOWARD, U DID NOT GET DUNKED ON CAUSE I KNOW U WAS GOING 4 THE BLOCK AND CHRIS PAUL SAW U AND JUST PUT HIS ARM IN THE WAY CAUSE U WAS NEXT TO HIM NOT IN FRONT OF HIM.

  • g Posted: Mar.27 at 9:20 pm
    good stuff… keep it going lang!

  • Stallion Posted: Mar.27 at 10:35 pm
    “DWIGHT: I’m going to start my own basketball magazine. ME: What are you going to call it, SLAMMED ON?” Perfect.

  • TC Posted: Mar.28 at 2:22 am
    Dwight’s conversation with his dad reminds me of a South Park episode in which everyone asking Tom Cruise who is hiding in Stan’s closet to “come out of the closet.” But Tom Cruise always replies with “…yeah but I am…I am not in here …though…..”

  • snyper 48 Posted: Mar.28 at 11:24 am
    damn Lang, why u keep that kind of stories only for yourself, thats pure entertainment.Can you imagine a sitcom/reality show with Dwight Senior,Barkley,Shaq,Mario “The Barber”,Darryl Dawkins,Cassius Clay and David Stern

  • [...] • In the comments on my post yesterday, a few people said they were upset because I mentioned hanging in a room with five NBA All-Stars but not being able to write what they were talking about. Of course, the only reason those guys let me sit in there was because they knew I wasn’t going to repeat what they said. And if I had printed any of those stories, I’d never get an interview with any of those guys again. The only thing I can say is that some of those stories will eventually be heard by you guys, just not in a way that you’ll know where I got them from. [...]

  • bay area Posted: Mar.28 at 5:32 pm
    Lang I think you should thank billy knight and terry stotts for Paul dunking on little Dwight. If not for them, you would never get to make fun of Dwight getting dunked on, because they’d both be on the Hawks.

  • John S. Posted: Mar.29 at 9:35 pm
    THE KOBE DUNK WAS JUST NASTY, IT LOOK LIKE KOBE WAS JUST RIDING A BLACK HORSE.NOW THE CHRIS PAUL DUNK WAS FUNNY, COME ON, A SMALL POINT GUARD LIKE CP3. THAT DUNK BY CP3 REMINDES ME OF THE ALLLEN IVERSON DUNK OVER MARCUS CAMBEY.

  • bigmike407 Posted: Mar.30 at 11:21 am
    Now I must tell the truth: Dwight, you are that dude and they robbed you All-Star Weekend. But Chris Paul banged on you in what was probably the only dunk of his short NBA career. And Kobe? WHOA NELLIE!!!!!! That may be one of the best dunks ever. Sorry. But you’re still that dude to me. Who cares about Mr. Witch Hunt?

  • bigmike407 Posted: Mar.30 at 11:30 am
    Sparker: Dwight did not get banged on; that was Tony ‘Official Dwight Howard Practice Dummy’ Battie. Dwight was standing on the baseline with a look on his face like ‘I’da windmilled with a lane that open’.

  • [...] • Finally, the Slamadatournament had to be when Rudy tomahawked on Dwight with about 4 minutes left! Wow. No Dwight, you never get dunked on. var staf_confirmtext = ‘Mail sent’ #stafBlock { position: absolute !important; z-index: 100000; display: none; width: 200px; } #stafForm { background-color:#f60; border: 2px solid #000; padding: 5px; margin:0; } #stafForm h2 { margin:0 0 4px;color:#fff;font-size:12px !important;} #stafForm input,label, h2 {font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 10px; color: #222222; } #stafForm .input_text { width: 90px;margin-bottom: 5px;padding:2px; } #stafForm label { float: left; display: block; width: 75px; line-height: 16px; } #stafForm .input_submit {color:#fff;padding:0 5px;} #stafClose { float: right; margin-right: 5px; } x [...]

  • [...] The Rudy Fernandez Dunk on Dwight Howard 25 08 2008 This will be under a cut because it loops, but so far it’s the only video or photo I have of the throwdown in Beijing, proof positive that despite Howard’s denials, he sure does get dunked on (the image/ video is from True Hoop and RotoEvil): [...]

  • what Posted: Sep.20 at 1:55 pm
    Hahahahahaha this was hilarious

  • [...] En EEUU, y en concreto en Portland, se ha desatado la locura colectiva en torno a la figura de Rudy Fernández. Sobre todo tras su exhibición de juego ante los Estados Unidos en la final olímpica. Son numerosos e incontables los comentarios que los fans de los Blazers han dejado en distintos foros con señas de admiración sobre el ex – jugador del Joventut: “El mate ante Howard me hizo dar un salto en el asiento. Espero que no despertara a los vecinosâ€; “Fue impresionante; él mostró su habilidad para hacer muchas cosas, y lo hizo ante los mejores jugadores del mundo. No hay duda de que está preparado para jugar en la NBAâ€; “Nunca he estado tan emocionado antes de comenzar una temporada; con Rudy y Oden podemos hacer la mejor temporada de la historiaâ€; etc. Muchos de estos comentarios hacen referencia -es inevitable por lo espectacular de la jugada y por ser una demostración de carácter- al mate de Rudy sobre Howard. Una jugada que no le debió sentar demasiado bien al prepotente jugador de Orlando y sobre la que se carcajean irónicamente los compañeros de Slam (uno de los más reputados medios especializados en baloncesto de los EEUU). Y es la historia viene de lejos, con Howard quejándose a Slam porque consideraba que sólo sacaban fotos suyas con alguien machacando el aro en sus narices. Es curioso, y os recomendamos que le echéis un vistazo, el reportaje en el que el humilde Dwight afirma que “sólo le habían machacado in your face en tres ocasiones”. En cualquier caso, y dejando a este alma cándida sumida en sus profundas disquisiciones baloncestísticas, son incontables los comentarios en los que se ensalza el partidazo del domingo y la actuación de Rudy; y la verdad es que los datos invitan al optimismo por parte de los seguidores del equipo de Oregon. Cuentan con un equipo que, a la vez, es joven y experimentado; al que van a añadir dos elementos superlativos en el juego interior y exterior: un pívot que se presume va a ser dominante como Oden, y un jugador espectacular en el perímetro que ha demostrado sobradamente sus posibilidades. Sin duda, será interesante verles en acción. Por cierto, alguno de los aficionados Blazer le dan unas sentidas gracias a los Suns, el equipo que inicialmente se hizo con los derechos de Rudy en el draft (“Thanks Phoenix!â€, dicen), demostrando que éste ha podido ser el mayor “robo†de los últimos años. [...]

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