July 9, 2007 12:04 pm  |  38 Comments

More Than Meets the Eye Indeed

Transformers mu**&#!*!&&!%!!

Low expectations be damned, Transformers actually turned out to be a good movie. I’m gonna give away about a hundred spoilers here so anyone who hasn’t seen it yet and wants to can opt out of reading this blog.

For me growing up Transformers was pretty much a line of demarcation. There are respectable exceptions of course but pretty much if you didn’t like Transformers and/or G.I Joe then you were probably into My Little Pony or something.
Which is to say you didn’t take a wiz standing up. Which is to say you were a girl. The combination of storytelling and fighting proved irresistable to my young mind. I’ve been conditioned for two decades for this movie. I had to see it.

The movie starts with Autobots leader Optimus Prime (uh, do I need to explain that there are two types of Transformers-Autobots are good and Decepticons are bad. Cool?) boomin ass baritone narrating on why the events that are about to happen are important. Something about a war on their home planet and how they are coming to Earth to search for a energy cube that contains some sort of life-giving energy source that makes all mechanical things move.

As any consistent readers of this site can tell you, I was type skeptical of the movie but had decided to risk it anyway. Michael Bay directed it and Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel were given starring roles which is pretty much the perfect storm of bad movie choices. Bay did Armaggeoden of all things and Tyrese starred in Baby Boy (the 2nd worst movie of all time, followed closely by last summers Crank. A movie so absurd and corny that immediately after watching I got into an argument with the girl I went to see it with and stopped dealing with her. True story) and this Duhamel guy has his nose open by Fergie. Seriously though, how can you trust this him?

The action sequences start about five minutes in when an unidentified helicoptor attacks a US Military base in the Middle East. There are no insurgents here, just a bad-ass robot that obliterates a multi-million dollar military compound. There is no explanation about why the attack is taking place but you don’t really care either because the coptor just starts raising hell and the whole sequence is damn near jaw –dropping. The thing that got me hooked was the trailer and the fact that the detail to greatness regarding effects seemed to be serious. I enjoyed the military aspect of the scene and throughout the movie that aspect led credibility to it and kept it from becoming a movie about toys. Basically it was an alien invasion flick, but instead of weird looking monsters it was big giant machines.

This was also my introduction to Shia Lebeauf (can someone phonetically sound out his name to me? Thanks and btw who is his agent? I never heard of him now he’s the star of the summer’s biggest movie? wow). I saw this morning that’s he’s on the cover of Vanity Fair and they are saying he’s the new Tom Hanks (to which I say relax. Tom Hanks is like the Magic Johnson of movies. Obviously great and versatile but somehow we still sorta sleep on him). His role starts when his dad takes him to buy his first car and it happens that the car is a transformer. Apparently the car was looking for him because his grandfather was an archeologist who mistakenly came across important coordinates while on a excavation in the Artic. Yeah i know but remember thats its a summer movie. Don’t think too hard just enjoy it and really, they explain it in a way to where the scenario is feasible

From here its more military stuff, more machines and more action but its done in a way that’s not insulting to those of us who like a bit of reality/intelligence with out summer popcorn blockbusters. There are a couple of corny moments and it was sorta weird when the autobot Jazz (who speaks in a random “black folks” vernacular) was the only autobot who died but all in all the joint was hot. The effects alone simply raised the bar on movie making and judging the numbers from last week it seems that a sequel will be made. And I’ll see that one too.

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This story is filed under: Fear of a Black Editor

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  • H to the izzo Posted: Jul.9 at 12:10 pm
    SHY-AHH LA-BUFF

  • Big Deav Posted: Jul.9 at 12:11 pm
    1st

  • white hot eboy Posted: Jul.9 at 12:16 pm
    Khalid, you mentioned Josh Duhamel and not trusting him, how about seeing Fergie transform into an actual entertainer?

  • Tom Posted: Jul.9 at 12:23 pm
    I was surprised how much I liked the movie. I really thought that Shia kid was going to be terrible, but he was actually alright, which is good, because it means theres a chance he wont ruin the new Indiana Jones movie.

  • niQ Posted: Jul.9 at 12:27 pm
    damnn,…still gota see this ish

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Jul.9 at 12:28 pm
    Yeah Shia was good. I also liked the british girl and Jon Voight. John Turtorro however was horrible.

  • AJ$ Posted: Jul.9 at 12:34 pm
    @khalid: shia was in i,robot w/will smith. u shoulda seen him in dat

  • RV Posted: Jul.9 at 1:03 pm
    i think that shia guy has done pretty well acting in the past, but he’s going from child actor to more grown up roles so thats one reason why he’s poppin up everywhere now

  • Co Co Posted: Jul.9 at 1:07 pm
    The movie was good, but it could have been 30 minutes shorter

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Jul.9 at 1:12 pm
    i robot? really? i have no recollection of that at all? did he have a speaking role??

  • andre anglais Posted: Jul.9 at 1:17 pm
    So theres one “black” autobot and he happens to be the one who dies? Damn thats funny.
    Even black robots can’t avoid the stereotypes.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.9 at 1:17 pm
    I, Robot was the worst movie ever made. It’s a good thing Isaac Asimov was already dead by the time it came out.

  • rob stewart Posted: Jul.9 at 1:25 pm
    “no sacrifice, no victory” this is so very true. And I, Robot was a good movie

  • AJ$ Posted: Jul.9 at 1:26 pm
    @khalid: ya he was only in 2 scenes tho

  • Ken H Posted: Jul.9 at 1:29 pm
    Actually it’s not pronounced La-Buff. I’m from Montreal, Quebec where the french run rampant and it’s actually pronounced really different. (LaBoeuf meaning “The Beef” in French) La-Buff is how u would say it phonetically for someone who has never spoken french before and actually is very far off from the proper pronounciation. The actual way of saying it require the vowels to be said sort of in the same way Tim Allen used to make that “Euh?” sound on Home Improvement, just without the high tone on the end to signify confusion. So really it’s kinda like this… Shy-A Lah-bEUHf, if that makes any sense.

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Jul.9 at 1:30 pm
    Russ no that honor goes to aforementioned crank. in which i literally was so appalled that i really got into an argument because the girl i went with enjoyed the movie. crank is an abomination. it makes i robot look like platoon

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Jul.9 at 1:56 pm
    Thanks Ken, Either way he did a good job. I even like the parents although thr scene where they were outside of his house was stupid. Nobody can tell that their are 20 ft robots outside? theres nobody out? what kind of neighborhood is that?

  • Cheryl Posted: Jul.9 at 2:07 pm
    LMAO about the robot with the random “black folk” vernacular gets whacked. Disposable even as machinery. And Khalid, you would be the one to point that out, too. As Ben would say–Too Shay! -ASPOV

  • Max Airington Posted: Jul.9 at 2:53 pm
    Khalid, Im glad (I hope?) you werent bothered by the product placement in the flick that so many heads have been complaining about. Im not for it anymore than the next man, but Transformers are cars and its not like some company wasnt gonna capitalize on that. It didnt bother me at all, I was too busy drooling. That freeway scene was classic…

  • Ken H Posted: Jul.9 at 4:22 pm
    Oh yeah, is anyone else wondering what happened to Scorponok? After he got blasted by the choppers and dug himself back into the sand, did we ever see him again?

  • Shiz Posted: Jul.9 at 4:29 pm
    So…okay, lemme get this straight…Jazz dies…and…Tyrese lives?? WHERE THE HELL IS THE JUSTICE!!

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.9 at 4:35 pm
    I don;t think I’ve ever heard of “Crank.” Let me stroll on over to IMDB. And blatant product placement is the worst thing to ever happen to movies. Except in “Wayne’s World.”

  • Paul Johnson Posted: Jul.9 at 4:36 pm
    Great summer flick all around and I thought it was a nice touch by the director to use the original voice of Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen). The fight scenes were incredible just a great all around movie. I can’t wait to see the next one.

  • Sara Posted: Jul.9 at 5:48 pm
    Nice review and all Khalid, I’m with you on all your points. But where is Omar when you need him? This is the first movie I saw all summer, including the not-quite summer yet excuse for a Spiderman movie, that would warrant any gangstas at all.

  • nacho Posted: Jul.9 at 5:54 pm
    yah, the movie was the next step in special effects. the bots all looked crystal clear and real with their human counterparts. scorponok, barracade (the police car) and starscream all survive. but enough about the movie, what about that crazy ass untitled trailer shot with the hanheld camera with the head of statue of liberty fying down the street?!?! wasnt that one of the dopest trailers ever! yall know where im gonna be on 1-18-08

  • shiva Posted: Jul.9 at 7:33 pm
    YO that Cloverfield (1-18-08) trailer was crazy, definately looking forward to that one

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Jul.9 at 9:08 pm
    Nice review, Omar, but how many gangstas did you give it?

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.9 at 9:36 pm
    Who needs good actors when you’ve got an unlimited special effects budget and countless product tie-ins? This is all George Lucas’s fault—but hell, at least he had Harrison Ford.

  • Dylan Posted: Jul.9 at 11:33 pm
    Shia was also in Constantine. Dude was the cab driving side kick. Oh and this movie was awsome. That part when the army guys pretty much take over the control room, with Duhamel’s character holding up the sector 7 guy, was sick.

  • AJ$ Posted: Jul.9 at 11:47 pm
    @nacho: i didnt get it

  • Sesa Posted: Jul.10 at 12:36 pm
    During those freeway scene I can only spot two robots, Optimus Prime and Bumblebee. Every other Robots were just displayed as Silver-is thingy.
    One thing I don’t understand, Weren’t Megatron’s transformation were supposed to be a Gun?

  • Dylan Posted: Jul.10 at 12:50 pm
    Nacho, I know what you’re talking about. That does look ill. But I am damn excited for that Chuck and Larry movie, what with the guy from King of Queens and Jessica Biel (top 5, easily).

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Jul.10 at 3:36 pm
    Hollywood could use a few Biblical plagues.

  • Joseph Lee Posted: Jul.10 at 11:55 pm
    Shia Lebeouf. First time I saw him was in “A Guide to Recognizing your Saints” Not a terrible movie about growing up in Queens. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473488/ Not sure if Khalid reads the comments once they got this far down.

  • Froggiestyle Posted: Jul.16 at 10:22 am
    Yep it was good. But *very* surprisingly, Die Hard was even better . . . good action this été

  • Omar Posted: Jul.16 at 3:47 pm
    Transformers was the truth. That preview for Cloverfield (1.18.08) was ridiculous

  • jbn74sb Posted: Jul.27 at 6:14 pm
    Shia Labeouf was also in Disturbia, which was a surprisingly watchable film. At least I think he was - the little blondie neighbor of his makes him more than a little invisible.

  • SLAM ONLINE | » All Hail MEGATRON! Posted: Aug.2 at 9:16 am
    [...] I was finally able to read Khalid’s review. Co-sign co-sign co-sign co-sign. But I will say one thing; Khalid talked about the humans in the movie. They were irrelevant to me. (Except for Megan Fox of course. Oh my God!) And that’s how I remember the old cartoon being, just waiting for the humans to stop talking so I could see some transformations and savage robot on robot violence. [...]

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