November 26, 2008 10:46 am  |  27 Comments

A Century of Awesomeness

On this day, my legend has a number.

I noticed something the other day.

After my last post, this —

(99)

— appeared after the title of my Slamonline column.

Which makes this the 100th Farmer Jones joint.

wilt

Hells yeah.

Anyway, I was going to celebrate by blessing you all with a list of Farmer Jones’ 100 Greatest Columnsâ„¢, but then I realized that would be arrogant of me. I am feeling a bit cocky at the moment — I got my Joe Paterno, cane-swingin’, Big Ten championship swagger back — but I don’t want to overdo it.

Also, I find that rankings tend to upset people.

Then I thought I could run a contest, in which readers pick their favorite Farmer Jones columns and post a 3,000-word comment explaining why, among all my great columns, that particular column is the greatest. And I think you guys should do that. The prize is an hour or so of your life you’ll never get back — and everyone who plays wins!

You’re welcome.

But then I saw this, which is basically just a glowing column about LeBron James that I did not write. You should read it.

And then I realized: Gratuitous Penn State reference? Unsolicited LeBron jock-riding? A few examples of my typically crowd-pleasing humor? Yes — I have just written the ultimate Farmer Jones column. If, a thousand years from now, aliens descend on our withered planet and search for the essence of what once made our civilization great, we can only hope they find this link.

So, yeah, 100. I’m Wilt, bitches!

Here’s hoping that, someday, these guys catch up.

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This story is filed under: Blogs, Farmer Jones's Roundball Almanac

Read more like this in:

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 10:47 am
    Tomorrow, make sure you all give thanks for me.

  • TADOne Posted: Nov.26 at 10:52 am
    Arrogance personified.

  • TADOne Posted: Nov.26 at 10:54 am
    Not that there is anything wrong with that, of course.

  • Myles Brown Posted: Nov.26 at 10:56 am
    This was everything I expected it to be.

  • Justin Adler Posted: Nov.26 at 10:59 am
    For the next 100 columns you should write refer to yourself only in the third person, just to elevate your swag that much higher.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 11:00 am
    Liar. You know you expected a Kobe reference.

  • Myles Brown Posted: Nov.26 at 11:05 am
    Oh yeah. Well, almost everything.

  • gym rat Posted: Nov.26 at 11:15 am
    Love that you were the first to comment on your own post! Congrats on 100…….now get to work on 101

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 11:17 am
    F*ck that. I’m retired. At least ’til Monday.

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Nov.26 at 11:26 am
    I”m surprised Ryan just didn’t put a picture of his face over Wilt’ss body

  • H to the Izzo Posted: Nov.26 at 11:44 am
    Not to wax his ego or anything but the Greatest Farmer Jones column was clearly when you called the entire state if Kentucky inbred.Good times.You suck.

  • riggs Posted: Nov.26 at 12:14 pm
    if only it were a yearly printed almanac…

  • Keith Posted: Nov.26 at 12:21 pm
    Who is Ryan Jones?

  • Ken Posted: Nov.26 at 12:35 pm
    I wish I could go to work drunk.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 12:39 pm
    Great point, Ken!

  • Moose Posted: Nov.26 at 12:49 pm
    Ryan, full of swag. But Lang’s got yo @ss, man. 816? Dude, time to catch up. 100 ain’t nothing. :)

  • B. Long Posted: Nov.26 at 12:50 pm
    2 articles posted, 98 more to catch Jones. Congrats Ryan. Oh yeah, Big Ten football blows.

  • TADOne Posted: Nov.26 at 12:51 pm
    Yeah, but Ryan had his book deal first. Now excuse me while I make room for Ryan’s inflating head.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Nov.26 at 1:18 pm
    The first two words that come to mind are “quintessential” and “essence”. I will hire you write my 200th post on behalf of me.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 1:37 pm
    You can’t afford me, Fitz.

  • B. Long Posted: Nov.26 at 1:42 pm
    @Moose:Ryan Jones and the word swag go together about as well as Ron Artest and sanity.

  • adams Posted: Nov.26 at 1:53 pm
    Neither funny, nor interesting, this really is the ultimate Farmer Jones column.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 2:15 pm
    That’s what I’m talking about!

  • Eboy Posted: Nov.26 at 2:17 pm
    This is how I would have done it too.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Nov.26 at 2:26 pm
    The ultimate compliment! I quit!

  • Nguni Posted: Nov.26 at 4:05 pm
    Slam keep the day bright even when it’s cloudy outside.

  • Ben Osborne Posted: Nov.26 at 9:38 pm
    So what is going on with Lists Are Bourgeois? Did those guys fold?

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