March 4, 2008 3:41 pm  |  35 Comments

Waste Not, Want Not

Nowitzki flagrants are the least of your worries, Jazz fans.

Because I’m elderly, I find myself increasingly reading about boring stuff like news and politics and how generally f*cked up the world is. It happens. Today, I read about a U.S.-based company that wants to start importing nuclear waste. I don’t follow the nuclear waste industry as closely as I should, but the company’s name sounded familiar to me.

Then I remembered why.

Yeah, EnergySolutions. I remembered EnergySolutions because SLAM’s very own Salt Lake City bureau chief, Russ “Banksdon” Bengtson, has referenced the wonderfulness of an NBA arena being named for a company whose income appears primarily to be derived from the disposal of extra-super deadly nuclear waste. I guess NuclearWasteDumping looks sh*tty on the company letterhead, though, so EnergySolutions it is.

I think Russ also made a reference to how, given what the company does, the 2007-08 Knicks would actually be the most appropriate team to play in that arena. Good one, Russ.

Anyway, today’s grown-up reading brought me to the Christian Science Monitor, which I remember thinking, when I was younger, had something to do with Scientology. It does not. Late last week, it featured an article on how EnergySolutions wants to import nuclear waste from Italy (where the nuclear waste is more stylish, I guess?) and dump some substantial percentage of it in Utah. Critics, somewhat understandably, are worried that this would set a dangerous precedent of companies importing nuclear waste from all over the world.

Those critics are whiners. The real shame is that this nuclear waste is coming from Italy, and not Ukraine. If it were, I could use a really funny line about Utah importing unwanted waste from Ukraine — and I’m not even talking Kyrylo Fesenko!

But it’s not. So I can’t. Go Jazz.

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This story is filed under: Blogs, Farmer Jones's Roundball Almanac

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  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:44 pm
    FREST!

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:44 pm
    That was a combination of “Kyrylo Fesenko” and “First”.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:45 pm
    And crest toothpaste.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:45 pm
    I win.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:46 pm
    Obligatory Homer Simpson Nuclear waste/fat guy who loves food joke: Mmm…Toxicity.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:47 pm
    This is fun. I now understand why Ryan does it sometimes.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 3:47 pm
    It’s like crack, isn’t it?

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 3:48 pm
    Indeed. Thankfully my brain wants not to waste more.

  • Myles Brown Posted: Mar.4 at 3:49 pm
    Speechless. Again.

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Mar.4 at 3:54 pm
    Ryan is unstoppable.

  • Eboy Posted: Mar.4 at 3:55 pm
    Jake is one of the better commentors. If this was a situation that took place 40 years ago, it would be brokered by someone with a name like Don Cissio and it would require 5 cargo bins of color tv’s in return to close the deal.

  • TADOne Posted: Mar.4 at 3:55 pm
    “Banksdon”?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 3:59 pm
    People tend to misspell his surname, Tad, is my point. We used to have an unofficial competition in the office to see which piece of incoming mail would most creatively butcher “Bengtson.” You’d be surprised at the combinations people would come up with.

  • TADOne Posted: Mar.4 at 4:00 pm
    I want to work in the Slamdome.

  • Sam Rubenstein Posted: Mar.4 at 4:02 pm
    stuffwhitepeoplelike got Ryan bad today: http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.wordpress.com/2008/03/03/80-the-idea-of-soccer/

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Mar.4 at 4:05 pm
    I can’t even remember some of the misspellings. There were definitely some good ones. P.S. My last name is spelled wrong on my Knicks season credential. I’ve been going to Knick games as a media member for 10 years. Someday they’ll get it right.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Mar.4 at 4:06 pm
    Also, Jerry Sloan will handle rogue nuclear waste the same way he handled Gordan Giricek. Don’t f*ck with him.

  • Eboy Posted: Mar.4 at 4:15 pm
    stuffwhitepeoplelike is very opportunistic in it’s disgrace of soccer fans.

  • what Posted: Mar.4 at 4:17 pm
    Well its too bad energysolutions is not importing it into toronto, or else you could have made that joke with Andrea Bargnani, who deserves it 100%

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 4:22 pm
    Sam, I’m not good at math, but it seems to me that 90 percent of the white guys who currently surround you in the Slam Dome are also soccer fans. Plus, I don’t drink coffee, and that’s No. 1 on the list. I’m pretty sure you’re thinking about Lang. Half-decent try, though.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Mar.4 at 4:24 pm
    Stuffwhitepeoplelike is predictable and silly.

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Mar.4 at 4:26 pm
    There aren’t enough touchdowns in soccer. Thats why i don’t like it.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 4:47 pm
    The Eagles don’t score enough touchdowns either, Khalid, but you still like them.

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 4:52 pm
    Speak of the devil, it’s AC Milan Arsenal on espn2. I LIKE!

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 4:55 pm
    Oh and Khalid, there haven’t been any goals, but there have been many touchdowns (people controlling balls while crossing end lines…)

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 5:20 pm
    Apparently there won’t actually be any scoring in that game, Jake? WTF?

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Mar.4 at 5:36 pm
    You spoke too soon Ryan. CESC education! And then Walcott to EA Sport for the nail in the proverbial coffin.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Mar.4 at 5:38 pm
    Nice. Well, mostly nicely for Ben and Russ, but whatever.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Mar.4 at 7:10 pm
    Now they just have to avoid having any more legs broken.

  • Tariq Posted: Mar.5 at 3:35 am
    Fenerbache?!

  • Fyan Posted: Mar.5 at 4:44 am
    I’m just trying to grasp the level of absurdity the plan to transport nuclear waste would be. And the high risk of cataclysmic or at least environmental danger. Like the Knicks resigning Oakley possibly? Anyway, what is the deal with the general American public and soccer anyway? I’m assuming the lack of contact maybe? So just imagine the dangers a relatively fit 25 year old (me) puts himself through every Sunday for Sunday league soccer against 40 somethings (opponents) who think they can still slide in and tackle like Joseph Yobo. It’s not very pretty I can assure you.

  • Sesa Posted: Mar.5 at 10:11 am
    Basketball irrelevancy

  • maio Posted: Mar.5 at 11:00 am
    EnergySolutions should stick to pure, refined, home-bred American toxic waste instead of importing that fruity eurocrap.

  • maio Posted: Mar.5 at 11:02 am
    And Cesc’s goal woke me up last night. I resent him for that.

  • T Money Posted: Mar.5 at 2:39 pm
    Cesc is the Chris Paul of the Premiership

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