April 26, 2007 9:34 am  |  41 Comments

Parsley!

Reggie Miller just earned himself a nickname.

Lang has touched on this topic already today, but in my opinion he missed the most awesomest example yet of just how bad Reggie Miller is at talking.

At one point in the Warriors-Mavs game last night, Reggie was waxing floetic about just how nice Monta Ellis is, how important his versatility and scoring are to the Warriors, and how, in his opinion, Monta should be considered the NBA’s Most Improved Player.

Specifically, Reggie said, “I think he should garnish that award.”

That’s right. Garnish.

And honestly, I think Reggie’s got it exactly right. I can’t think of another player who’s better suited to sprinkle small herbs all over Boris Diaw’s trophy, at least until they give it to someone else later today.

Well done, Reggie. Well done.

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  • Gilbert0 Posted: Apr.26 at 9:51 am
    Seriously ryan, you should be preppin for the game 3 preview of the magic-pistons heavyweight battler and not be concerned with this stuff. Your journalistic integrity is taking a pounding this week.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 9:56 am
    You’re right, Gil. I am so not earning my hefty slamonline paycheck.

  • Bill Biehl Posted: Apr.26 at 10:00 am
    Yeah, Rayn. You Suck.

  • alfy Posted: Apr.26 at 10:37 am
    i disagree ryan you rock for mocking the skinny ass miller hahahaaa

  • Jake Appleman Posted: Apr.26 at 11:00 am
    Yeah, but Ryan can he garnish 8 plates in seven seconds?

  • James Posted: Apr.26 at 11:06 am
    “to provide or supply with something ornamental; adorn; decorate. ” - Thats the context he was obviously trying to use. But made it sound like Reggie wanted Monta Ellis to be the one GIVING OUT the award. To Xerxes Barbosa.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 11:11 am
    That really doesn’t work either, James; I would argue that Reggie actually meant to say “garner,” which would’ve made sense. Only he didn’t. Honest mistake, but I’m taking him to task because a) it’s part of a large, ineloquent trend and b) he gets paid a lot of money to offend my vocabularistic sensibilities.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 11:12 am
    And yeah, I said “vocabularistic.” Good luck looking up that one.

  • Ben Osborne Posted: Apr.26 at 12:56 pm
    “I can’t have my wages garnishing.”—Fletch

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 12:58 pm
    Exactly.

  • Troy Posted: Apr.26 at 1:09 pm
    Hey, at least Reggie was able to keep the teams straight. I counted at least 4 times in the first quarter that Stockton said ‘Warriors’ when he meant Mavericks or vice versa

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 1:19 pm
    Stockton’s 247 years old. At least he’s got an excuse.

  • Russ Bengtson Posted: Apr.26 at 1:32 pm
    Maybe I didn’t hear him correctly, but didn’t he go on about how you can’t do what Baron did and applaud the officials and show them up when you’ve already got a tech and get thrown out of the game? Because he did the SAME EXACT THING once. (It’s in that Joey Crawford entry I did a while back.)

  • Khalid Salaam Posted: Apr.26 at 2:18 pm
    the nba is the new nfl (no fun league)

  • allenp Posted: Apr.26 at 2:59 pm
    REggie actually admitted that he did the same thing and got thrown out for it and said he should have known better. I just wanted to throw that out there although I agree that he has problems speaking.

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 3:01 pm
    hey, can someone explain this Xerxes Barbosa thing to me please? I feel like I must have passed out from drinking and missed something. Can you tell that I’m Irish?

  • H to the izzo Posted: Apr.26 at 3:16 pm
    Eoin no matter how true that is,its a stereotype-am extreme one.
    And also the idiot militant college ball fans are still trying to convince Patrick Paterson to come to their programs—can we organise a friend for these people?

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 3:25 pm
    How’s this for a half-assed analogy, izzo: Slamonline is like a high school, with its own social hierarchy, a crappy cafeteria, and different rooms where you learn different stuff. And with all due respect to anyone who might be offended, the people posting on Pat’s diary are most definitely the Special Ed kids at SHS.

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 3:27 pm
    Izzo, all generalisations are wrong, even this one.You’re Irish, right?So you know it’s true.And you know it’s not an EXTREME stereotype either!Face it, we drink a lot.A lot a lot.Only in Ireland would a government minister say that country people should be allowed to drink and drive.Now back to the real issue-Xerxes?

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 3:30 pm
    Ryan don’t fake like you don’t want to offend people.You just told those Kentucky fans to shove it, and you enjoyed doing it.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 3:39 pm
    Eoin, you misunderstood: I don’t want to offend actual mentally retarded people. They at least get the benefit of the doubt. But those bedwetting posters (and not just the UK ones, though they did seem to be the most persistently annoying) can be offended all day, every day.

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 3:52 pm
    Ah, good point.I see how not offending mentally retarded people is a sound policy, both in the way of wanting to not be an asshole, and in the way of not wanting to be sued.So good call. Seriously though, I just want to know about this Xerxes Barbosa thing??I know I’m getting annoying, but it’s annoying me not knowing!

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.26 at 3:59 pm
    I didn’t see “300,” but I believe it has something to do with that movie. I’ve no idea what.

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 4:02 pm
    Ahhh.I like it.Leandro as some kind of crazy Spartan warrior.Quality.Goes with the Suns mentality too.I heard Mike D’antoni on PTI recently and he was like “we’re gonna run over everyone in the playoffs just like we did in the regular season”.And f*** everyone who doubts us was the implication.So I like the idea of casting them as a bunch of underdogs.And as Detroit proved every year since they won their chip, the fact that they’re actually one of the most talented and respected teams in the L never stops NBA players from getting that chip on their shoulder

  • Eoin Posted: Apr.26 at 4:45 pm
    A search for Xerxes on Wikipedia has cleared up my confusion.

  • Kelly Dwyer Posted: Apr.26 at 5:25 pm
    Last week Reggie said something about a team having “a steam full of head,” and nobody on the TNT set blinked.

  • mutoni Posted: Apr.26 at 5:27 pm
    ryan, where’s the slamonline gym? also, where do all of the weed salesmen(women) hang out?

  • Coach Mommy Posted: Apr.26 at 9:27 pm
    Ryan, if Slamonline is like a high school (and you are leading regular discussions, such serving as a teacher), can I make fun of your enormous armpit stains? I’ve been trying to ignore those since the year started. Also, I have to leave early for a Math-letes competition tomorrow.

  • Coach Mommy Posted: Apr.26 at 9:30 pm
    “such” shoulda been “thus.” Looks like summer school for me!

  • Lang Whitaker Posted: Apr.27 at 1:14 am
    Kelly, I think that’s because they’re used to working with Magic Johnson.

  • James Posted: Apr.27 at 3:24 am
    Yeah ‘garner’ is much more appropriate. But who knows what goes on in Reggies warped mind

  • James Posted: Apr.27 at 3:27 am
    Eoin - Xerxes Barbosa. If you see the film ‘300′ Xerxes is the Persian King and I personally believe that said King looks eerily like our Leandrinho.

  • James Posted: Apr.27 at 3:38 am
    Oh and Ryan - I work here http://www.hertsparts.nhs.uk - and I can honestly say the people posting on Pats diary need help!

  • Jennifer Posted: Apr.27 at 10:34 am
    “Most awesomest”? And you’re going to make fun of Reggie Miller’s grammar? His mom just died. Cut him some slack.

  • boulder Posted: Apr.27 at 10:41 am
    Mutoni: By “half-assed” analogy, I meant “not even remotely thought-out.” That said, Khalid goes to a gym in Chelsea (which totally does NOT make him gay) and I believe Sam sells nickel bags on the L train.
    Dave: Don’t make me come over there and garnish you.
    James: You said it, not me.

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.27 at 10:44 am
    What just happened?

  • H to the izzo Posted: Apr.27 at 10:59 am
    Yes Eoin I am.The drink issue in Ireland is like the gun issue in the states but lets not get into that.
    Since Slamonline is a high school I take it that the UK fans are over weight-under washed-acne ridden nerds who almost piss their pants whenever a girl comes within five feet of them.Am I right?

  • Tommy Patron Posted: Apr.27 at 11:30 am
    Reggie is terrible as an in-game commentator. I have no idea why they put him out there. He can be somewhat tolerable as part of a three announcer team, but not as part of a duo. Reggie “Skinny Man” Waferhead!

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.27 at 11:30 am
    Not nerds, izzo. SpEds.

  • H to the izzo Posted: Apr.27 at 11:33 am
    My mistake,then we shouldn’t laugh

  • Ryan Jones Posted: Apr.27 at 11:40 am
    Right. Not at all.

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