Movie Review: IRONMAN
I… AM… OMAR, MAN!
By Omar Mazariego
For as long as I can remember, Robert Downey Jr. has been nothing more than someone who should’ve been classified under Avian when one would speak of species to me. When I was young I was introduced to this actor via Weird Science. There he played the wingman to a jacka$$ who wouldn’t last one minute in Sam’s hood, much less mine. The next memory I have of Mr. Jr. is from Black and White where he made a pass at Mike Tyson. Yes, Mike Tyson. Of all the men in the world to be attracted to, Robby had a thing for one of thee most chopped looking dudes that ever walked the earth. Don’t get it twisted, Mike Tyson has my utmost respect, but he’s chopped to the 3rd degree. And this is the man that Marvel has cast to portray one of its iconic heroes? Might as well cast Woody Allen as Captain America. Or how about James Woods as Thor? Needless to say, my skepticism of the studio’s decision to cast this ex-fiend caused me to write off Iron Man as the next Daredevil or even worse, Elektra.
Man, did white Bubbles make me eat my words. Iron Man pushed my wig back further than Mystikal’s hairline (way worse than Tyra’s). I was absolutely blown away by Don Downey’s portrayal of billionaire Tony Stark. With Downey’s metrosexual swagger and Stark’s comic book cockiness, it was a match made in Hamsterdam.
So the story goes a little something like this: Tony Stark is the brain behind Stark Enterprises. His company manufactures sophisticated weapons of mass destruction and because of this he’s a billionaire who blams out more women than Pretty Boy Floyd Mayweather (That man has been on a tear as of late). After demonstrating his latest creation to the Army in Afghanistan, Tony is ambushed and then taken hostage by terrorists and is forced to recreate the very missile he just demonstrated (In the comic book it was the Vietnamese who took Stark hostage, but the war on terror has obviously influenced Marvel to make the change). But before he can get started on the missile he creates some sort of magnetic light thing that looks about the size of one of Puff Daddy’s rings and puts it IN his chest to keep the metal shrapnel from entering his heart.
Tony now plots his escape and with the help of some dude that I really could care less about, he creates a suit made of iron to break free.
Now back in the U.S., Tony’s remorseful of his life’s work and decides to shut down the weapons manufacturing sector and use his mind to rebuild the world he helped destroy. His partner, Obadiah (Jeff Bridges) on the other hand has plans of his own, and best believe they aren’t as good as Megan, feel me? Turns out Obadiah backstabs ol’ Tony and creates his own Iron Mongol to wreck havoc on anyone who stands in his way. That list includes Tony’s ever sexy assistant, Pepper (Gwyneth Paltrow). Sure she’d look 9 months pregnant if she swallowed an M&M peanut, but one can’t dispute her Olive Oylish sex appeal. Call me, Brutus, homie!
Anyway, in an effort to somewhat shake off the burden his lifework done left on his shoulder, Tony perfects the iron suit he created in the caves of the Middle East and uses it to battle the forces of evil. It’s cliché, but hey, it works. Helping him out was Jim Rhodes (Terrence Howard). Look for him to be War Machine in Iron Man 2.
Now I must say that I was taken back by how incredibly well written, cast and directed this movie was. Unlike Daredevil, Elektra, and Fantastic 4 parts 1 and 2, Iron Man absolutely reeked of that “we will not f*ck this up” attitude that it’s makers put into creating it. Not one frame was wasted nor was one word miswritten. The only scene that I was upset about was the one that didn’t make the final cut. Y’all know what I’m talking about. The one where Tony Stark and Tony Starks (a.k.a. Ghostface Killah) chop it up and exchange pleasantries. It’s been a decade in the making and I was really looking forward to it, but oh well. You know life is unfair when no one’s punished for murdering Sean Bell. That verdict was so ridiculous they might as well have had Jackie Chiles doing the prosecution with Kramer as their star witness. I could go on, but I digress.
Straight up and down, Ironman deserves 4.5 Hardcore Gangstas.
The only thing holding back this movie from becoming classic was its lack of Iron Man’s screen time. Given, the budget was only $150 million it still could’ve used one more scene with the red and gold hero. But G-status, it was a fantastic blend of story telling, comedic dialogue and action sequences. When I left I felt the same way Lindsay Lohan feels everytime she leaves the club’s bathrooms… I felt right.
100 Responses to “Movie Review: IRONMAN”
May.7 at 8:41 am
Sam Rubenstein says:
YES! YES! YES!!!
It was a wonderful film.
I have rededicated my life to becoming Tony Stark. Nothing but scotch on the rocks, models, etc. but I need a better computer.
Robert Downey probably DID hang out in the hood I grew up in. There were lots of white collar drug dealers.
Welcome back Omar!
May.7 at 8:43 am
Ryan Jones says:
Who is this clown? I thought this was a basketball website?
May.7 at 8:53 am
gLbRt says:
good to see you O!! did you guys see the post-credit scene?
May.7 at 9:05 am
k.o. says:
that movie was sick, wicked AND nasty
May.7 at 9:10 am
TADOne says:
Ok, I really need to see this movie now. I was hesitant, but Omar sold me. Great to have your voice back, homie.
May.7 at 9:12 am
Fyan says:
Welcome back O. I agree with you completely. Plus they should have play Black Sabbath’s Iron Man whenever Downey puts on the suit. I still can’t believe Favreau pulled it off.
May.7 at 9:14 am
Eboy says:
Great review, O! I’ve only been telling you fools to be ready for this movie since LAST year. Fu*kers.
May.7 at 9:22 am
Rasheedionics says:
What up O! Great review. Are you still updating your blog on SItv?
May.7 at 9:23 am
jbn74sb says:
Great. Now, how many gangsters?
May.7 at 9:33 am
BETCATS says:
O, that was a good review. I havent seen it, but everybody who i know that has said it was trash. But who cares what they say, i am going to see it and judge for myself.
May.7 at 9:34 am
Logan says:
Welcome back Omar…this movie was awesome..also kicked to see what Sam Jackson has in store as Nick Fury….
May.7 at 9:43 am
BETCATS says:
!!!!!!!!!
May.7 at 9:45 am
BETCATS says:
O, everybody i kno said this movie was trash except for one 5 minute fight scene at the end. But i will wait till this gets to the Redbox machine before i see it. What did you think of 88 Minutes? Did you review it yet?
May.7 at 9:46 am
H to the izzo says:
BET:I saw 88 Minutes,I wouldn’t reccommend it to anyone-at all.It’s almost as if Pacino is getting his Isiah on.
May.7 at 9:51 am
BETCATS says:
alright then i guess i will wait for that to get to the Redbox machine too.($1 movie rentals!)
May.7 at 9:52 am
H to the izzo says:
BET:Forgetting Sarah Marshall is worth seeing.
May.7 at 9:53 am
BETCATS says:
I am waiting for Righteous Kill to come out. Di Nero, Pacino, and 50. Its like they knew what i wanted and made it.
May.7 at 9:55 am
BETCATS says:
i have seen/heard of enough Superbad type movies (Juno, Drill Bit Taylor, the list goes on, i get depressed) so i will stay away and forget that Sarah Marshall exsisted
May.7 at 10:00 am
H to the izzo says:
Juno and Drill Bit Taylor are nothing a like,one’s a good but very annoying overrated indie movie,the other’s a sh*t kids movie.And neither are anything like Superbad.
May.7 at 10:07 am
BETCATS says:
they are all for the same audience
May.7 at 10:08 am
BETCATS says:
Teens who contomplate suicide and ballance it out with Hollister clothing and anual sexx
May.7 at 10:10 am
H to the izzo says:
A movie with Fiddy would make one suicidal.
May.7 at 10:13 am
BETCATS says:
yeah, i couldnt sit through all of Get Rich or Die Tryin, it was basically all the things you see in his movie videos with some personal twist. But i want to see Di Nero and Pacino acting at the same time, in Godfather II they had different roles in diferent time periods.
May.7 at 10:13 am
Eboy says:
BET, your peoples that said Iron Man sucked, except for the end fight scene, obviously need to have their helmets adjusted and their school busses lenghtened.
May.7 at 10:15 am
BETCATS says:
Eboy, odviously if you are making a smart @ss comment it means that the roadkill you brought home to cook for dinner wasnt dead or had rabbies and you needed to fry your brain and settle on that instead. THINK, WHITE HOT, THINK
May.7 at 10:23 am
Eboy says:
I THINK you are being an as*hole at the moment, young man. Maybe it’s the roadkill talking, though, can’t be sure.
May.7 at 10:27 am
Sonny Bill Williams says:
BETCATS; Obviously haven’t seen Heat, Pacino & Di Nero play cops & robbers against each other. (Pat Riley was going to make a cameo but decided he just didnt want to do it anymore)
May.7 at 10:30 am
BETCATS says:
congradulations on thinking Eboy. What a shocking revalation you have made! Me, an @sshole? who woulda thunk it. All i do is sit around this website and make ocasional basketball comments with a side dish of not-funny sarcasam. Its good for the heart you know. I also got comment 100 000 which changed my life. They say people change when they get tripple diggets, i wont ever know if that is true money wise, but it made me an even bigger jack@ss commenting wise. This is like intervention except better.
May.7 at 10:30 am
BETCATS says:
Sonny Bill: nope, but now i am going to.
May.7 at 10:35 am
Tariq says:
First off, Omar is the man. The only beef I ever had with O was when he gave The Da Vinci Code (the book) a good review– 5 stars, I think–that book was weak. Secondly, I wasn’t looking forward to Ironman at ALL, but now I can’t wait to see it. I think the secret to making good comic book movies is to make them dark like Batman.
May.7 at 10:38 am
Tariq says:
Also, I can name about 20 actors who are better than Robert Downey, but I wouldn’t call him a bird. He’s always been very good: Natural Born Killers, Wonder Boys, Game 6. And he SHOULD have been nominated for an Oscar for Zodiac. He killed it in that movie.
May.7 at 10:40 am
H to the izzo says:
Much like Jeremy Piven,Downey may not be that good an actor but his kills this particular role.
May.7 at 10:40 am
Russ Bengtson says:
Better Robert Downey, Jr. than Morton Downey, Jr.
May.7 at 10:41 am
H to the izzo says:
he kills*
May.7 at 10:43 am
Eboy says:
T, you may not enjoy Iron Man then, since it’s not really dark. Just parts of it.
May.7 at 10:48 am
Ben Osborne says:
I didn’t see Iron Man and probably won’t, but I ALWAYS LOVE reading O’s work on the site. Hopefully “summer movie season”=Omar movie review season on Slamonline.
May.7 at 10:49 am
whooo! says:
iron man was awesome! apparently this was the 1st movie that marvel produced all on its own, so no more f’n up by those damn hollywood movie companies who butcher the comics we loved as kids.
May.7 at 10:51 am
whooo! says:
and i hope you gus stayed till the credits were over to get that teaser clip. i’m not gonna ruin what it was, but i swear some kids in the theater bust a nut when it played, based on the lil shouts they put out.
May.7 at 10:51 am
BETCATS says:
alright since all you said Iron Man was so wonderful when it gets to the $1.50 theater i will see it. But until then i am keeping my movie money
May.7 at 10:52 am
Tariq says:
Eboy: WHAT?! But Ironman is one of the darkest superheroes around. He’s flawed and not really “super”. Also, having an Ironman movie with no Ghostface is like having a Fantastic 4 erotic dream without Jessica Alba.
May.7 at 10:55 am
Tariq says:
Speaking of Ghostface, I hadn’t listened to Supreme Clientele oin a few years now, and I just listened to it yesterday/today again. Damn if that album doesn’t get better with age. “Buck 50″ is one of the most slept-on tracks of all time, and Cherchez la Ghost is just timeless.
May.7 at 10:56 am
Andy says:
Remember when Morten Downey Jr was at Wrestlemania with Rowdy Roddy Piper? Man, the 80s ruled.
May.7 at 10:56 am
Russ Bengtson says:
Back in the olden days when I was EIC, we played Supreme Clientele and Cuban Linx roughly 2,356,009 times each. I’m still not sick of either of them.
May.7 at 10:58 am
Eboy says:
T, most people don’t realize that this Iron Man movie was made with the stories from the late 70-’s/early 80’s as it’s inspiration. Those comics were not dark, and the tone of this film refelcts that. You would laugh was more often than you would feel bewildered. And Ben, don’t blow it, see it on the big screen if you get 2 hours free. You won’t regret it.
May.7 at 10:59 am
Eboy says:
*reflects/*laugh more often
May.7 at 11:00 am
Tariq says:
Russ: That’s probably the foundation of SLAM’s success as a magazine. I hope you also had Ironman (”All I Got is You” is one of Ghost’s best songs), 36 Chambers and Liquid Swords in the rotation.
May.7 at 11:02 am
Tariq says:
Eboy: That has lowered my expectations. I’ll probably still see it, though, even though I’m not a big comic book fan. I’m really looking forward to the Dark Knight Batman sequel.
May.7 at 11:05 am
Russ Bengtson says:
Tariq: Of course.
May.7 at 11:07 am
Tariq says:
Russ: Whew.
May.7 at 11:08 am
H to the izzo says:
Nothing beats the Adam West Batman era.Nothing.
May.7 at 11:09 am
Eboy says:
T, it shouldn’t. There’s enough “real world” type scenarios that make it gangstaish. Trust.
May.7 at 11:11 am
Tariq says:
Eboy: I’ll take your word for it. But I hope I get a chance to see it in the theater and not DVD.
May.7 at 11:13 am
Eboy says:
If I’m wrong, T, I’ll send you a $50 Arby’s gift card.
May.7 at 11:16 am
Tariq says:
Eboy:
That’s an offer I can’t refuse. Now I hope I don’t like it, just so I can enjoy the sublime delicacy of Arby’s thinly-sliced roast beef. izzo:
I assume you’re being sarcastic, because the only good thing about that campy show were the “POW!” effects.
May.7 at 11:18 am
Eboy says:
I don’t think I’ll have to pay out, T. And the best thing about the old Batman TV show was Caesar Romero’s mustache.
May.7 at 11:21 am
H to the izzo says:
If anyone ever gets the chance to buy and/or watch “Return to the Batcave:The Misadventures of Adam and Burt”,please do.
May.7 at 11:51 am
B. Long says:
“Yes, it’s very cool if you take a picture with me.”-TOny Stark, Certified Gangsta
May.7 at 12:00 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
O!!!! thanks for blessing us with this review. Great movie, better than i thougt and the second best comic book movie after batman begins. To me there was only 1 flaw and thats when he ironman flew to afghanistan. do u have any idea of how far that is from cali? u just can’t fly there with ease like that. other than that its damn near a classic. Def looking forward to the dark knight and the incredible hulk too
May.7 at 12:01 pm
Z says:
@ Sam : C’mon man, don’t be cheap and break out the 5 gangstas banner.
May.7 at 12:12 pm
Tariq says:
Khalid: Did you like the original Batman and Batman Returns with Michael Keaton? Speaking of which, Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman has committed many lewd acts inside my cranium.
May.7 at 12:31 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
I did not care much for the 90’s batman movies. The 1st was was ok but really not a great movie. Batman begins is just a great movie period, comic book or not, and blows those other ones out the water. not really a big michelle pfeffier fan either. she’s no nicole kidman
May.7 at 12:35 pm
Eboy says:
Khalid is smart.
May.7 at 1:30 pm
Chris Sorum says:
The first two were great, Burton really put his imprint on those. Then came Joel Schumacher and f*cked it all up. You know it’s bad when the best thing about a Batman movie is Arnold Schwarzenegger killing it as Mr.Freeze: “You’re not sending ME to the COOLER!!”
May.7 at 1:32 pm
Sarah says:
This movie was good. Tony Stark is kind of in the same vein as Downey’s character in Zodiac. So if you liked him in that, you should like him in this. Regardless, the movie works. And I don’t know much about comics, but the new Batman movie looks like it will definitely be a must-see, if for nothing else than Heath’s (R.I.P.) performance as The Joker. If you don’t believe me, check the link. The guys at WOAI in San Antonio always come up with a good blend of movie clips and basketball come playoff time. It’s a beautiful thing.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDSVkKSKkmQ
May.7 at 1:57 pm
namik says:
Iron Man and Batman Begins are the 2 best “superhero” movies yet. The Dark Knight should change the order if the previews are anything to go by.
May.7 at 2:33 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
no love for the hulk??
May.7 at 3:04 pm
Jackie Moon says:
Omar has the most distinct voice of any movie reviewer out there. He gives you the flavor and texture of a movie in words. I am so giddy to see that Omar’s reviews are back on Slamonline. Don’t know when you came back, but welcome back. OMAR EATS BANANAS!!
May.7 at 3:29 pm
namik says:
I can’t see much of a new spin on the Hulk. Dude gets mad at the army, whips em, they steal his idea a la Iron Man and then he whips that guy in a surprisingly bad CGI rendered fight (from the previews atleast). But an Avengers movie with Norton, RDJ and maybe hugh jackman along with other people I don’t know about sounds promising. Not as promising as the Dark Knight though. That movie looks crazy.
May.7 at 3:32 pm
O says:
This dude Khalid stay throwing real life logic into the movie realm. Stay killing me with that. LOL. Ben, the love is appreciated, homie. T, Robert is good actor, but a bird none the less. Jackie, I do eat bananas, but i’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. Man, i’m tight i missed Nick Fury at the end, but i’ll peep it sooner or later. And Ryan, clown me again and i’ll show up on your farm with gas and a Zippo.
May.7 at 3:36 pm
O says:
And as far as Hulk, i’m a little skeptical on that also simply because the first one was weak. The Dark Knight should be gangsta. But I don’t know about Justice League America that’s supposed to come out next year. Neither Christian Bale nor Brandon Routh aren’t involved. Either way i’ma let y’all know what’s hood. I’m review all of this summer’s blockbusters exclusively on slamonline. Me and Si TV are done.
May.7 at 4:01 pm
RUIZ STINKY BUTT says:
this is a good article terrance howard the guy with the pretty eyes!!!!
May.7 at 4:01 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
UPDATE: the gangstascale has been resurrected
May.7 at 4:22 pm
O says:
LMAO!!!! Yoooooooo, freakin’ Ruiz Stinky Butt.
May.7 at 4:47 pm
derrick douglas-dozier says:
iron man is dope. damn near perfect for a superhero/comic book movie. also, if you’re going to post movie reviews, let’s make sure you get someone who knows anything about movies to do so. do NOT hate on robert downey jr. zodiac, kiss kiss bang bang, good night and good luck, a scanner darkly, the singing detective, wonder boy, in dreams, natural born killers, and chaplin (for which he was nominated for an oscar) are all incredible movies. the man is one of the best working American actors, period.
May.7 at 4:47 pm
what says:
What I need to know is, did Tony Stark wear Wallabys in the movie?
May.7 at 4:57 pm
O says:
Derrick, don’t try to roast me and you not even know me. I never said he was a bad actor. I just said he’s a bird to me. Most of the characters that he’s played have been spineless to a certain degree. Hence, my opinion of him. But it’s ok, keep making assumptions and you know what you make of yourself. And What, unfortunately, no, Tony only wore shoes that used to be reptiles.
May.7 at 5:01 pm
davidR says:
great review for a great movie. damn omar, your prose is hilarious. hope to see more of your reviews for all the summer movies coming out
May.7 at 5:02 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
isn’t edward norton being in the hulk as good a look as robert downey jr? i would argue that he’s a better actor. think of the movies he’s been in. 25th hour, fight club. american history x, etc. i feel like with marvel totally involved they are not gonna allow one of their biggest names/stars to end up lame. i’m optimistic if only for that fact that the hulk was always one of my fav characters.. Not feeling justice league movie. its gonna be too expensive to let everybody use their powers and the story will suffer like it did in those 3 garbage x-men movies
May.7 at 5:06 pm
O says:
Kha had to take it to X-Men. X-Men 1 and 2 were dope. 3 was type trash. And Ed Norton as Hulk is a good look and the fact that he’s fighting an actual villain makes it all the more appealing, but the CGI might be a bit too cartoonish.
May.7 at 5:12 pm
Bubba Chuck says:
O! This movie was sick!
May.7 at 5:16 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
it might be too cartoonish. but i’m prob still gonna check it out. Wonder why the cgi isn’t better? that doesn’t seem to be a problem with other movies so why the hulk??
May.7 at 5:18 pm
O says:
I’ma peep it too. I’m not sure. I mean they made King Kong look real as hell. Hulk shouldn’t be a problem. And word is, The Dark Knight was supposed to be a set up for Batman 3 where Batman was gonna have a huge blowout fight against Joker and Two-Face (Harvey Dent in Dark Knight). If that’s true, who would be the new Joker?
May.7 at 5:35 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
good question. i dont know
May.7 at 5:54 pm
derrick douglas-dozier says:
sorry about that one line that seemed rude, O. i just realized that was a little dickheadish.
May.7 at 5:57 pm
derrick douglas-dozier says:
i really wasn’t trying to attack you (this is the internet for christ’s sake, i leave the crap-talking to the teens). also, i have no idea why i just stood up so defiantly for rdj. weird. anyways, the flick was awesome, and that’s what matters, right?
May.7 at 6:00 pm
O says:
It’s all good, D. Don’t even wet it.
May.7 at 6:09 pm
derrick douglas-dozier says:
also, o, is it me or is Black and White pretty much a gully soap opera?
May.7 at 6:12 pm
Bubba Chuck says:
X-Men was sick, Hulk is gonna b ok & Dark Knight is gonna b sick!
May.7 at 6:18 pm
Rubens Borges says:
O they’re trying to make JLA into a kiddie flick, it seems they dropped it now… and if they have darside and some real fight I’m looking forward to the next superman movie
May.7 at 6:28 pm
Bubba Chuck says:
I cant wait 4 Captain America
May.7 at 6:29 pm
O says:
D, the thing that killed me about Black and White was how Allan Houston got taken out. He got shot on stairs. Something about dying on stairs always messed with me. If I go out, I wanna go out in an elevator, na’mean. I did like that the Wu was all up in that movie. And JLA is gonna be a disaster. Mark my words, berg.
May.7 at 8:21 pm
Jackie Moon says:
I meant, OMAR IS BANANAS!!
May.7 at 10:54 pm
O says:
Ahhhhh, thanks, J. Now THAT makes ALOT more sense.
May.8 at 2:12 am
Krishan says:
This movie was awesome. Had to watch it twice cause I missed the Sam Jackson as Nick Fury scene, and couldn’t find it anywhere in the internets. And obadiah was called Iron Monger, not Mongol. Great review, Mr. Omar sir.
May.8 at 2:27 am
Krishan says:
Oh, and being a comic book fan, this movie was so faithful to its source, it almost made me wanna cry. After gagging on such BS as V for Vendetta and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, its about time Hollywood respected the comics genre AND produce a high quality film at the same time. And to on that topic, Wanted will inevitably suck monkey balls. Heathens.
May.8 at 4:18 pm
O says:
I know it was Iron Monger, but i’m hood so I don’t usually pronounce the “R”’s in alot of my words. Na’mean?
May.11 at 2:43 am
Phil Dailey says:
I was hopin that you wasn’t in da cooler dam glad that U is back ,cause when U was MIA, that hurt us at work cause every movie we would catch what U posted, cause it’s off da hook nawhatimean.
May.16 at 7:45 am
Froggiestyle says:
O !!!! glad to see you back. And LOOOOOVED the review (actually better than the flick but its all good), what’s up next on the Gangsta review list?
May.19 at 6:31 pm
Jasmyne says:
There was a scene with ghostface killah….at the verrrrry end. like after all the credits. it’s only like.. 30 secs, but it gives you a hint on the second one
May.28 at 8:11 pm
cherrio dude says:
overall the movie was great!
one suggetion to omar though, the first suit and the second suit he mad was not made out of iron they were made out of titatium alloy.