Links: NBA Announcer Approval Matrix
Plus MJ’s new girlfriend?
OK, so I’m filling out my NBA awards voting ballot right now. I’ll run down all my picks tomorrow. Patience.
(Although…I mentioned to Khalid how I was leaning for the MVP vote, and he grinned and said, “Alright,” and walked away. Not sure what that means.)
Tonight the Playoff schedule gets sorted out. Be ready for a wild and wooly month or two.
Lots to get to today…
• If you haven’t had enough talk of the Hawks making the Playoffs just yet, here’s an extensive podcast with me and Hawks.com big boss man Micah Hart discussing pretty much anything and everything related to the Hawks. I even get into the concept of the Playoff Mohawk.
• An NBA insider sent along a link to this, which is something like an NBA Announcer Approval Matrix. I have no idea who created it. Hopefully this is readable…
(For a larger version, click here.) No further comment needed, other than this must’ve come from Canada, especially if Swirsky is even close to being on the right side of objectivity.
• Our man Rod Benson is blowing up. Good to see ESPN sent such a diverse crew out to visit Rod.
• Separated At Birth returns today with a visit from an old nemesis. Linkstigator Mike M. writes in to say that ESPN’s NBA Insider, Chad Ford, looks like Adam from “Big 
Break.” I had to look up “Big Break” — apparently it’s a golf reality show where the winner gets a tour exemption. I went on the Golf Channel’s site but couldn’t find any mention of an Adam. Mike sent along a photo, however, and whoever this guy is in the picture does bear quite a resemblance to Mr. Ford. We know it’s not actually Chad Ford competing on the show, however, because it would be impossible for Ford to swing a club while clutching his cell phone in one hand.
• I knew it!
• Quote of the day goes to Don Nelson, who just can’t seem to grasp that whole “don’t piss off your best players” thing. When asked about why he benched Baron Davis, Nellie said, “He was having a bad game. He was terrible. He was the worst player on the floor, and I told him to take the second half off. He was 2-for-13, we were down 14 points. I said, ‘Hey, let’s relax and play some young guys.’”
He forgot to add the part where he thought not making the Playoffs was a good idea.
• Here’s a picture of Michael Jordan’s new girlfriend. Allegedly.
• Good grief. Some NBA player needs to step it up and instead of buying a luxury car, buy a luxury cruise ship.
• And finally, today’s YouTube video is the almost Top 50 sports bloopers of all time. Too many funny ones to pick a favorite…
66 Responses to “Links: NBA Announcer Approval Matrix”
Apr.16 at 2:03 pm
Elvis says:
Go Jordan!
Apr.16 at 2:08 pm
h-wag says:
I don´t have access to a lot of NBA games here in Germany, but Tommy Heinsohn´s position on that matrix is just about right. If it would be up to him the Celtics didn´t commit a single foul all season and were hacked all the time.
He´s just about the only guy that makes me switch to the German announcer.
Apr.16 at 2:09 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Wh does Jordan’s girl have her hand on Oak’s thigh? Actually, don’t answer that.
Apr.16 at 2:11 pm
h-wag says:
Maybe she needs her car washed ?
Apr.16 at 2:14 pm
Captain America says:
Does she wear Hines?
Apr.16 at 2:16 pm
arthur says:
Yvette appears to be quite fond of Charles Oakley too… check her working the inner thigh of both guys
Apr.16 at 2:21 pm
Rasheedionics says:
She’s obviosly not his girlfriend, but it makes for a great headline… Also, Charles Oakley with white hair??? NBA needs him back in any capacity.
Apr.16 at 2:22 pm
objectivity says:
wow, if you give chris paul this award lang, im going to hate you for the rest of my life…not because i dont like chris paul, i love him as a player, but the fact that kobe is playing WITH AN INJURED FRIGGIN FINGER and still managed to lead his team to the top of the west…if ur excuse is “he has so much talent”, then that’s lame because when he DIDN’T have talent around him, the criteria was “he needs to win”….when he wins, the criteria he’s now given is “he has too much talent”….i dont get it….i dont get idiotic writers (not saying you’re one), and I don’t get the system…what more does a man have to do?!?!?!
Apr.16 at 2:22 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Oak kinda looks like Bill Cosby in that picture.
Apr.16 at 2:26 pm
WhaHuh says:
where was #1 in that vid?
Apr.16 at 2:26 pm
Ben Osborne says:
I was on the elevator with Yvette at all-star weekend…apparently she was slumming it at the marriott with the media. I watched her walk across Canal Street (no idea who she was at that point, just that she was bad). Two hours later we were at the Jordan Party…and so was Yvette. Also, I dig that graph but Mike Breen is not a favorite of mine (a little too much editorializing for my tastes).
Apr.16 at 2:26 pm
Michael says:
gotta love 40 something men wearing purple.
Apr.16 at 2:32 pm
Myles Brown says:
A.I. would never hang out with Money while he was wearing that shirt.
Apr.16 at 2:36 pm
Eboy says:
Mike is funny.
Apr.16 at 2:45 pm
blackice87 says:
i was thinkin oak looked more like david alan grier….if anyone knows who that is
Apr.16 at 2:47 pm
riggs says:
actually his gf is this woman:
http://www.mixmakers.net/sports/basketball-news/michael-jordan-new-lady-friend.html
Apr.16 at 2:53 pm
Allen says:
I heard a great look-alike for Anthony Johnson of the Kings : Ashy Larry.
Apr.16 at 2:58 pm
albie1kenobi says:
there’s just too many things we can comment on in regard to that picture: oak’s hair, his shirt, MJ’s choice of color, and everything about Yvette (who reminds me a little bit of Vida).
Apr.16 at 3:11 pm
Ben Osborne says:
She’s not as hot as Vida.
Apr.16 at 3:16 pm
albie1kenobi says:
speaking of Vida, what a way to claim fame: just being another eye candy for an HMV article (i believe it was about a girl’s personality and her choice of underwear). i read that a whole bunch of people wrote in inquiring about the girl with the great asset after the article came out.
Apr.16 at 3:23 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
MJ could do better. Then again, he’s done far worse. Also, regarding athletes and boats–have you seen Tiger’s yacht?
Apr.16 at 3:28 pm
Mike says:
I just emailed that to the Swirsk.
Apr.16 at 3:32 pm
Toney Blare says:
I don’t think I’ve seen a photo of Mike WITHOUT Oak in like 6 years, and this one makes me real uneasy about that.
Apr.16 at 3:33 pm
Johnny Kilroy says:
MJ’s new girl? No way. I’ve definitly that girl on Reggie Theus’ arm
Apr.16 at 3:38 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Haven’t seen Tiger’s yacht, but I doubt it has a Central Park on it.
Apr.16 at 3:41 pm
The Brooklyn Boy says:
Didn’t Spree have the luxury cruise ship game on lock?
Apr.16 at 3:44 pm
bostwik says:
i watched the suns/celtics game on both espn and my local fsn, and I called every play Tommy Heinsohn gave put one of his “tommy awards”
Apr.16 at 3:50 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
From the photo illustrations, that boat doesn’t have a Central Park either. That’s not even Madison Square Park. Also, now seems like a GREAT time to build a billion-dollar ocean liner. I hope it sinks.
Apr.16 at 3:55 pm
Zee! says:
Damn Oak, you look like you’ve got a storm cloud on your head.
Apr.16 at 3:55 pm
Nav says:
seperated at birth: thas a pic of Adam from “Big Brother 9″. Reality show on CBS, gots nutin to do with golf.
Apr.16 at 3:59 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Oak probably doesn’t come to Knick games because he’s tired of Clyde pushing him to use Just For Men.
Apr.16 at 4:06 pm
Mikey Money says:
That Adam guy is from the reality show Big Brother, not Big Break. A pretty good comparison though.
Apr.16 at 4:14 pm
dma says:
mj’s new girlfriend is oak?
Apr.16 at 4:14 pm
what says:
No rating for Bob Rathbun?
Apr.16 at 4:21 pm
Mendel says:
MJ got it right.
Apr.16 at 4:59 pm
FLUXLAND says:
I, like Russ, am wondering about her hand on Oak’s thigh. And Swirsky is total garbage. How is it possible he got a job as an announcer? How?!
Apr.16 at 5:10 pm
thesubwayconnection says:
The *ONLY* reason I want to win the Raptors TV promotion to meet Chuck Swirsky is so I can knock him out. I watch Raps games on mute.
Apr.16 at 5:29 pm
Clendon says:
what is up with oakley’s shirt?
Midlife crisis? haha but ohh MJ could get alot better then that haha
and yeah that video was classic but where was number 1?
Apr.16 at 5:31 pm
Tom says:
Man, you guys give Swirsky a tough time, granted i can see how some can find him annoying, but I don’t think he’s as big a homer as Lang makes him out to be.
Apr.16 at 5:37 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
hahahaha these comments were fantastic today. Ben, funny stuff about Yvette. I’m with Russ, MJ could always do better but he has done a lot worse. Lang’s ballot is the big mystery of my day. Kobe? Chris? KG? Bron? I want to see MIP, too.
Apr.16 at 5:48 pm
bendreizehn says:
Man…Charles looks like 60!!!
Apr.16 at 5:48 pm
Bubba Chuck says:
About the chart: Tha only person associated with Denver was Scott Hastings? I hate Scott Hastings 4 a personal reason. If any1 wants 2 hear tha story lemme know.
About Air Jordans gf: I giv her 6 out of 10
Apr.16 at 5:51 pm
Ben Osborne says:
Bubba Chuck: everyone wants to hear your personal reason for hating Hastings.
Apr.16 at 7:08 pm
FLUXLAND says:
subwayconnection: get in line! lol! I have stated multiple times that if I ever run into Swirsky, he’s getting a UFC knee to the dome followed by: “Down goes Swirsk.. bring out the salami and cheese, mama!” Watching the games on mute with my Ipod on has brought my blood pressure down considerably.
Apr.16 at 7:13 pm
FLUXLAND says:
@Tom: Lang doesn’t make a big enough homer out of that cretin. I cannot believe the Canadian government granted him citizenship. Which only means we are probably stuck with his crap until he drops dead. Seriously, what respectable announcer says salami and cheese?
Apr.16 at 7:46 pm
Joel O's says:
Isn’t Swirsky on the “homer” side of the matrix? Good to see Leo Rautins up there next to the likes of Marv and Mark Jackson though, he’s really good. Swirsky obviously is a smart guy who knows his stuff, but the way he calls games, it’s as if the Raptors are the freakin Dream Team or something.
Apr.16 at 7:50 pm
Joel O's says:
Man. The goalie throwing the football into his own net was amazing.
Apr.16 at 8:07 pm
Allen says:
Seems like the maker of the announcer matrix has more familiarity with East Coast announcers. Otherwise, how does Joel Meyers (Lakers) rate high on “NBA Knowledge”?
Apr.16 at 9:29 pm
Atrain says:
In regards to the matrix, am I wrong or are the Bucks left off completely? Sad sign of the times, they can’t even make this list…
Apr.16 at 11:36 pm
iLL wiLL says:
Choo-Choo! Looks like Oak and MJ are gonna run a train.
Apr.17 at 1:09 am
TC says:
MJ’s new girl is hot….
Apr.17 at 2:31 am
chintao says:
Too much to mention in this superb post, but I’ll pick I two: 1) everyone please admit that you ALWAYS knew that Jordan would go white; and, 2) Mike Breen may be knowledgeable and impartial; however, I disagree with almost every opinion he’s ever expressed. Maybe we need another sector in the matrix? Maybe there should be a sector for “insightfulness” or “analysis”. My guess is that Breen wouldn’t rate so well.
Apr.17 at 2:35 am
B. Long says:
Im Charles Oakley BITCH! Have sex with Michael Jordan.
Apr.17 at 2:49 am
KA says:
gotta love oaks shirt, gangsta
Apr.17 at 7:05 am
Randy Brown says:
Good to see ESPN sent such a diverse crew out to visit Rod. Hhahhaha, brilliant
Apr.17 at 7:19 am
SwingMan says:
Sick bastard who assembled that video clip - at the 1:12 mark, it shows Lionel Hampton fainting behind his vibes while trying to play at a stadium, nevermind that the man was in his mid-late 80’s and was, otherwise, wheelchair bound at the time. Yeah, real funny, mocking and demeaning one of jazz music’s true icons - a**hole.
Apr.17 at 7:23 am
SwingMan says:
BTW, my comment is directed at the imbecile who made the video, not at you, Lang.
Apr.17 at 8:40 am
riggs says:
I still laughed.
Apr.17 at 11:57 am
Allenp says:
I laughed too. Now I feel bad. And MJ went “white” a long, LONG time ago. Here’s a newsflash: so has every other famous black man. If y’all think brothas are sergregating when it comes to cat, then y’all are stupid.
Apr.17 at 12:01 pm
Ken says:
Me too. The dogshow one was horrifyingly good too.
Apr.17 at 2:51 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Me too. That’s why I linked to it. That was at a Braves game, actually.
Apr.18 at 12:17 am
chintao says:
Allenp==> Segregating? Naw. I just always got the impression that MJ had a strong preference born of latent self-hate.
Apr.18 at 5:19 am
sab says:
damn, i’m a bit late on this, but at 0:35 on that clip is an infamous goal conceded by my team in England, Brentford FC!! surely the only time we’ve ever been featured on this website!! i obviously don’t see as many commentators as you guys but the Lakers’ crew always come across to me as horrendously biased, so i’m stunned at their position on the matrix!!
Apr.18 at 3:04 pm
VZA says:
chad ford lookalike is from big brother
Apr.19 at 8:07 am
Blinguo says:
Jim Barnett Baby! “2 for 1″
Apr.19 at 11:20 am
Ohpityme says:
That Youtube video is funny stuff:
Best bits:
The spaz in the crash helmet with the sick cross
Karate kick
& The biker who takes out everyone
Mj should be doing a lot better…but like people have said hes done worse…a lot worse!
And i never thought id ever see Oakley looking that fruity haha