Game Notes: Perception vs. Reality
For the love of the game
“You make the music selfishly. Then you put it out there and hope that it connects with the people. The third part is going out and performing it - that’s the part I love.” - Minority owner, Brooklyn Nets.
People occasionally send me emails asking how to get down with SLAM and the like, perhaps forgetting that I’m a freelancer that holds very little actual power. After the Cavs-Knicks game Wednesday night, Russ and I spent a while talking about a bunch of Appleson related topics. It was one of those awesome conversations that makes you feel alive because both of us knew how much we cared about what we do. Russ made an incredibly astute point: despite the fact that we practice an incredibly free-wheeling style of reporting/writing/blogging we are professionals when it comes to what we do; Russ because he ran the basketball bible for over half a decade and talking NBA is akin to breathing for the dude, and me because have two major addictions: writing and basketball.
(Footnote: my whole day and night was one of those periods of time that can remind a person of how amazing life can be: after receiving a totally unexpected and awesome call from Ben, I watched Real Madrid play Roma–I kind of hate both teams, so it was win-win–and then we went to the Garden and watched the King go off for 50. That combined with the first signs of spring being sprung, and it just proved to be a fantastic day all-around.)
Back to what I’m getting at: We interact with you guys and show you love on these web pages because SLAM is Love–it always has been and it always will be. Part of what I think makes Appleson special is that Russ and I are both old souls, and we both just really wanna do what we love to do. We’re sensitive to things going on around us and, despite occasional ridiculousness, we’re both very perceptive. More to the point, we want you to see what we see because SLAM is love and you wouldn’t be here if you didn’t feel the same way. (By the way, did I mention that Slam is love? Word is bound.)
I’ve written a few pieces lately and they’ve pleased the commenting masses here to a very high degree. I appreciate the love, but I feel like I need to make something clear because a lot of people who could become writers read this website, a website that features a ridiculous arsenal of talented, versatile scribes. Everyone has their own process, but for me, this sh*t doesn’t just happen. I work my freaking a$$ off because I love basketball, and because, if you’re reading, I respect you, too. And I don’t work hard because I necessarily want to; it’s because there’s no other way for me. For what it’s worth, I’d probably much rather sit back with my girl in my lap and a beer in my hand while yelling at my television for not being interesting enough.
(Footnote: It irks me to think that there could be a potential person(s) out there that has his or her own voice that reads this–or anyone else on this or other sites–and thinks, “oh, well, I could never do it like that,” so why try?” I’m not some a-hole that sits here and spits word vomit onto a computer screen that more often than not people seem to enjoy. It doesn’t work like that.)
“This Applesauce is / from the Apple orchard.” - Minority owner, Brooklyn Nets.
When I was in first grade, my teacher–who would later get fired for making students give her foot rubs–nicknamed me, “The Absent Minded Professor.” The light bulb was on, and it saw things in a different, unique way, but the details were usually off. Was it ADD? Was it that I just zoomed too fast through my work so I could go outside and be uber-competitive in whatever sport was the being played at recess? I don’t know–how bout a little of both?
The truth of the matter is that I never wanted to be a writer. My dad was a writer and I wanted to do my own thing. It just sort of caught me (conduit, mentor, believer, purveyor of sarcasm and friend: Ryan Jones), like some sort of enjoyable disease or addiction that I had no defense against. Anyway, I was a terrible, if promising, scribe growing up whose work was corroded with typos and poor thinking, in part because I just didn’t care all that much.
(Footnote: They didn’t call me “Apple Turnover” on my high school basketball team for nothing…)
It wasn’t until I had to craft my college essay that I realized writing truly was a craft. “Writing is re-writing.” This guy I know pretty well had that quote taped to his computer screen like some sort of massive barnacle of truth enjoying a whale.
The thing about this blog, besides the fact that it’s somewhat personal is that I can’t post anything without obsessively going over it, minimum five or six times–and I still get shit wrong. A lot. Anything I rush will immediately get reamed for screwing something up. It’s happened before and I hope I’ve fully learned my lesson. So, I guess, at heart, maybe I’m not a blogger, even though I have a blog that let’s me speak in the first person.
Thing is, I’ve learned to self-edit–I never said censor–myself through incredibly hard work. Honestly, I feel like my approach to words is like Kobe’s approach to basketball in that it’s dogged and seemingly interminable. There’s a huge difference, though. As Russ correctly asserted last night, Kobe’s working his a$$ off to be the best basketball player on the planet–a title he shares with LBJ; like Russ says, get over yourselves, people, and respect that they’re both brilliant…just leave it the f–k be. Unless you want a migraine.
Unlike Kobe, I’m not trying to be the best. That’s stupid. Relentless egos strokes as building blocks, though enjoyable, are for p*ssies. There is no *best* in a craft that’s, ultimately, completely subjective. Really, I’m just trying to make sure I don’t fail. If being the best is the only acceptable (psychotic?) way Kobe can believe he hasn’t failed, maybe we share something: a fear of failure that serves as motivation.
An apple(sauce) and a (mamba) snake. We do theoretically come from the same garden.
(Footnote: I’m *Kobe/Jack Bauer/shotclock* years old. The fact that I’m dispensing what could be construed as advice is patently absurd. I can’t believe I just wrote this. I’m going to go word vomit all over myself and then edit it 24 times (self-imposed punishment). Not even Bob Saget, back when he played the wholesome Danny Tanner on Full House, chewed that thoroughly.)
82 Responses to “Game Notes: Perception vs. Reality”
Mar.7 at 2:18 pm
ciolkstar says:
Wow. That was awesome.
Mar.7 at 2:20 pm
ciolkstar says:
I’m sure you didn’t mean for this but, the fact that you’re only a year older than me makes me feel even worse about not trying harder to persue sports writing. Word.
Mar.7 at 2:21 pm
albie1kenobi says:
not sure how the title applies (though i’m sure you chewed through it 24 times to come up with that), but it’s awesome you are working on something you are passionate about. i’m hoping i get to that point soon.
Mar.7 at 2:35 pm
Ryan Jones says:
“People occasionally send me emails asking how to get down with SLAM…”
Answer: Start out as a gangly, precocious 17-year-old; scrounge up enough funds to buy a magazine editor lunch; call/email relentlessly for the next five years; wait for said editor to finally wilt under the blitzkrieg of your eagerness; get a job watching espn 20 hours a week. It really is that simple.
Mar.7 at 2:38 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Also, this post totally makes you and Russ sound like a married couple.
Mar.7 at 2:38 pm
Ryan Jones says:
…which only bothers me ’cause I’m jealous…
Mar.7 at 2:41 pm
Ryan Jones says:
…though of whom, I won’t say.
Mar.7 at 2:42 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Also: this thing has more footnotes than Infinite Jest. What up, Susan?
Mar.7 at 2:42 pm
Ryan Jones says:
This is fun. I can see why Jake does this sometimes.
Mar.7 at 2:47 pm
Co Co says:
Sorry to interrupt Ryan, we can tell you all work hard, but it seems to me a lot of it is just natural ability. You guys always have something witty to say (especially Russ) and unlike some people you make your arguments based on mostly facts. Somtimes conjecture, but mostly facts!
Mar.7 at 2:52 pm
Co Co says:
Ryan, which editor would you suggest we harass relentlessly for the next 5 years?
Mar.7 at 2:53 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
“Unlike Kobe, I’m not trying to be the best. That’s stupid. Relentless egos strokes as building blocks, though enjoyable, are for p*ssies. There is no *best* in a craft that’s, ultimately, completely subjective. Really, I’m just trying to make sure I don’t fail. If being the best is the only acceptable (psychotic?) way Kobe can believe he hasn’t failed, maybe we share something: a fear of failure that serves as motivation” I think I just fell in love with this paragraph. Not that this is anything new when it comes to the words of Jake Appleman. When I found out you were only a couple of years older than me I had a minor breakdown, feeling very, very unaccomplished for my age since I feel like you’ve been around forever. I should be saving a message like this for the facebook inbox, but eff it. I love your writing, I share your passion and I thank you for writing this.
Mar.7 at 2:57 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
And CoCo, Ryan is still getting harassed by obsessive 22 year-olds who are equally jealous of his writing voice, career and KObe-access. Or, at least one of them, for sure.
Mar.7 at 2:57 pm
Eboy says:
“An apple(sauce) and a (mamba) snake. We do theoretically come from the same garden.” Tremendous.
Mar.7 at 3:02 pm
Co Co says:
Well it seems to have worked for the 22 year old!
Mar.7 at 3:03 pm
Ryan Jones says:
You don’t correspond nearly enough to match Jake’s levels of harassment, Holly. For starters, you’ve never once sent flowers…
Mar.7 at 3:06 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
You want flowers, Ryan? Don’t tempt me.. Because once you invite my madness, it will never stop.
Mar.7 at 3:06 pm
Jake Appleman says:
So you’re calling me sportswriting portfolio from high school a collection of pansies, Ryan?
Mar.7 at 3:06 pm
Jake Appleman says:
*my
Mar.7 at 3:06 pm
Ryan Jones says:
I’m old and married, Holly. I could totally use a stalker to liven things up.
Mar.7 at 3:07 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Jake, I’m just trying to get you and Holly to fight over me. It’s nice for an old broad like me to feel wanted.
Mar.7 at 3:10 pm
Tariq says:
Why can’t I get moderated?
Mar.7 at 3:10 pm
Tariq says:
1- This is your best column yet, Jake. But I’m partial to reading about writing, so…
Mar.7 at 3:10 pm
Myles Brown says:
“The thing about this blog, besides the fact that’s it’s somewhat personal is that I can’t post anything without obsessively going over it, minimum five or six times–and I still get sh*t wrong. A lot. …. So, I guess, at heart, maybe I’m not a blogger, even though I have a blog that let’s me speak in the first person.” No slurping here. Just appreciation and mutual feelings. Appleson in ‘08.
Mar.7 at 3:11 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Holly has too much potential and probably more time on her hands. I bow out.
Mar.7 at 3:11 pm
Tariq says:
2- Remember when you so snarkily instructed me to “self-edit future wall posts” on Facebook? I was rubbing my hands with glee when I spotted your awkward repetition of the adverb “incredibly” in the first paragraph. One thought dominated my conciousness: “I shall have my revenge!”. But then you went and redeemed yourself with that awesome sentence about screaming at the TV for not being interesting enough. Damn your precocious talent.
Mar.7 at 3:12 pm
Tariq says:
3- You almost made me cry, man. There’s a good chance I might get a novel published over here, but I’ll only make around $2.34 + a box of Kit-Kats. I have resigned myself to the fact that I will most likely never make my living from writing. Oh well, those who can’t, teach.
Mar.7 at 3:14 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
I love that I have potential as a stalker. I really do need to tone down that Laker love, don’t I? Jake, as much as I love the nba stuff, please gift us with more pieces like this one in the future.
Mar.7 at 3:14 pm
Eboy says:
If you equate that to American dollars, T, you’d probably wind up with 4 cents and a Tootsie Roll.
Mar.7 at 3:17 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: We don’t get tootsie rolls over here. We do, however, get Carb Smart ice cream. Hooray Atkins.
Mar.7 at 3:17 pm
FLUXLAND says:
Why Rip for the pic?
Mar.7 at 3:18 pm
Tariq says:
4- You ain’t kidding about craft. I’m constantly revising. I don’t want to give the publisher the final version because then I can’t edit it anymore. And the worst is when I have an awesome metaphor or simile that I have to chop because it doesn’t contribute to the whole. When that happens, I think, and sometimes even say, the word “F*ck”. With emphasis.
Mar.7 at 3:19 pm
albie1kenobi says:
you guys make me feel like i should start free writing again. thank you.
Mar.7 at 3:19 pm
Tariq says:
5- Although writing IS entirely subjective (well, not entirely. There’s a great quote by Milan Kundera regarding the whole subjective/objective thing, but I digress)…anyway, although it is subjective, there is one person who is unquestionably the Don Dada. His name is Fyodor Dostoevsky. But that’s just me.
Mar.7 at 3:19 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Unless he’s talking Euros, in which case: $420 and a case of Reese’s PB Cups.
Also, Jake, just to counter to heavy breathing among all your fans: You’re untalented, and this post bored me. Also, your taste in hip-hop is questionable, and most of your rhymes don’t actually “rhyme.” Good day.
Mar.7 at 3:19 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
This is weird.
Mar.7 at 3:21 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Stuff White People Like, No. 64: Khalid Salaam
Mar.7 at 3:23 pm
Eboy says:
Not enough characters in the world like Jake and Ryan. Not too many people supply their type of wit and knowledge to the masses and we’d be way better off if there were more people like them. For real.
Mar.7 at 3:23 pm
Tariq says:
Khalid: To weird you out even more, let me share this tidbit with you: My 18-month-old cousin, quite possibly the most beautiful baby in all of creation, is also named Khalid. Do with that what you will.
Mar.7 at 3:24 pm
albie1kenobi says:
for all you writers: what other subjects do you write about besides basketball? how often do you write introspective piece like Jake does here?
Mar.7 at 3:24 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
I know i’m somewhat bias, but screw it. It really is a awesome name.
Mar.7 at 3:26 pm
Tariq says:
Khalid: True.
Mar.7 at 3:27 pm
Ryan Jones says:
For the record, I have never known Khalid to sometimes show bias. Enjoy working out the grammar on that one.
Mar.7 at 3:30 pm
Tariq says:
Ryan: Upon deletion of the intrusive “sometimes”, all was well with the world.
Mar.7 at 3:32 pm
Ryan Jones says:
If only, ‘Riq…
Mar.7 at 3:40 pm
Tariq says:
Ryan: I noticed your criticism of Jake’s taste in hip-hop. Who do you like, aside from your pre-Sugarhill-Gang favorites?
Mar.7 at 3:42 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Good stuff, Jake. Don’t forget to pick up milk.
Mar.7 at 3:43 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Russ: Ha!
Mar.7 at 3:45 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Russ, I don’t drink milk. Thanks for the reminder, though. Oh, and thanks for the Wesley connect, it’ll be great getting to understand him a little bit that way…
Mar.7 at 3:46 pm
Ryan Jones says:
‘Riq, I was just joshing with Appleman — although I upbraided his young ass the other day for not knowing about Handsome Boy Modeling School — but I sort of lean two ways, since you asked:
-The music of my youth (not be be confused with Musical Youth), including Tribe, De La, PE, Beasties and their ilk
-New-millennial indie stuff like El-P, Mr Lif, Atmosphere, etc and so forth. I also maintain that Aquemini might very well be the most perfect hip-hop album ever, but that’s just me.
Mar.7 at 3:47 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Oh, and Josh Groban. That f*cker spits straight fire.
Mar.7 at 3:51 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
There’s MF Doom and then there’s everybody else.
Mar.7 at 3:53 pm
Tariq says:
Ryan: The music of your youth is too ancient for me. Except for Beastie Boys’ “License to Ill”. I remember listening to “Fight for Your Right to Party” in a continuous loop and then watching Transformers. OutKast are indeed very close to perfection. Don’t sell ATLiens and Stankonia short, either. Oh man, I just remembered a poem someone wrote in SLAM about Gary Payton which contained the line: “Ice in a league full of cubic zirconia/ Classic like OutKast’s Stankonia”. I’m not sure, but that sounds like Scoop. But I’m disappointed that Wu-Tang don’t figure into your rotation. Any group that mixes unbelievable flows with bad kung-fu movie samples are good with me.
Mar.7 at 3:55 pm
Tariq says:
I tried to put paragraph breaks.
Mar.7 at 3:59 pm
Ryan Jones says:
I left out a lot of people, Tariq, including (checks iTunes playlist…) Doom, Wu Tang (Ghost in particular), Mos Def, Murs, Common, Aceyalone, J-Live, Kweli, Nas, Aesop Rock, etc, etc.
Mar.7 at 4:03 pm
Tariq says:
I get overly enthusiastic when it comes to the Wu.
Mar.7 at 4:04 pm
Ryan Jones says:
I also have very specific memories of a train ride from NYC to Philly 6 or 7 years ago on which Russ and I listened to separate Kool Keith discs and spent the entire 90-minute ride trading insane lyrical snippets. “CLIFTON!… Santiago…” I think I’m still recovering.
Mar.7 at 4:06 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I don’t want to think about how many times Supreme Clientele and Cuban Linx were played in the SLAMDome.
Mar.7 at 4:32 pm
TADOne says:
How old is too old to begin writing? You guys are my heroes.
Mar.7 at 4:42 pm
TADOne says:
Seriously though, great stuff Jake. However, I am slightly disappointed in how this piece started out and then finished. I really thought you was about to announce a contest were us posters could submit stories or something. I’m going to go play in traffic now.
Mar.7 at 4:46 pm
Jake Appleman says:
If you survive traffic well enough to submit a story, Tad, you’ll win the contest. But seriously, don’t play in traffic.
Mar.7 at 4:49 pm
Eboy says:
Is there traffic in Virginia Beach?
Mar.7 at 4:51 pm
TADOne says:
There is, but probably not as much as in South Florida. Then again, I guess traffic would backup behind Pat Riley and his scouting team in any city.
Mar.7 at 4:55 pm
TADOne says:
On a completely unrelated topic: Does Slam send anyone to cover the Portsmouth Invitational Tournament?
Mar.7 at 4:59 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Tad: Sometimes.
Mar.7 at 5:11 pm
TADOne says:
The reason I ask is that is in my neck of the woods and I will be attending. I know it is not the sexiest of college players there, but it usually some very good action. If it is all the same, I plan on taking some notes and submitting.
Mar.7 at 5:42 pm
Tariq says:
Russ: Supreme Clientele and Cuban Linx are both classics. Wu-Gambinos, Cherchez Le Ghost…etc. Nothing, however, compares to Enter the 36 Chambers. As for comic value, the most insane record I’ve ever heard is ODB’s “Nigga Please”. At one point he stops in mid-song and starts thanking random people: Snoop, OutKast, the navy, eskimos, schoolteachers…etc.
Mar.7 at 5:46 pm
albie1kenobi says:
i’m going to cop those two albums after work. i know i’m late to the party but better late than never!
Mar.7 at 5:48 pm
Tariq says:
Ryan: You’re rhyme exchange with Russ on the train brings back unpleasant memories of my own. BAck in high school, my best friend and I got into the nerdy habit of greeting each other with random gangsta rap lyrics. I would mostly quote Snoop’s Doggystyle and Dre’s Chronic. One day I called his house, and when he answered I screamed at the top of my lungs: “Rat-a-tat-tat/ ‘Cause I never hesitate to put a ni**a on his back!” To my horror, I discovered it was not he who answered.
Mar.7 at 5:49 pm
Tariq says:
*Your…
Mar.7 at 10:33 pm
pablo (argentina) says:
that´s right on the money. Keep up the good work
Mar.8 at 2:35 am
nick says:
Great sh!t. Made me wanna go work on the novel i’ve halfway written.
Mar.8 at 12:29 pm
H to the izzo says:
*Sends flowers to Ryan*
Thanks Jake,I’m not even going to say how useful this piece was.
Mar.8 at 2:38 pm
Ben Collins says:
Jake, you’ve read my mind. Orwell wrote a book about this one, but you’ve rewrote it better, punchier in one post. And Co Co, I can’t speak for everyone because I’m nowhere near Jake or Russ’ levels (I passed Ryan when I was, like, 6), but wit comes from constant reading, writing and observation. Voice isn’t individual — it’s a collection of everything you find that you love and attempt to form into something of your own, something a little bit closer to perfect. So you can’t be born with wit. Unless you’re that Ben Osborne guy. A natural. (Sends flowers.)
Mar.8 at 3:09 pm
Sarah says:
I just wanted to say that I really enjoyed this. Being that I can identify with your “two major addictions: writing and basketball,” as I’m sure a lot of the folks here can, it was especially inspiring. I probably haven’t been that excited reading about basketball and writing since Scoop’s final Gamepoint in SLAM 89. Keep up the good work!
Mar.8 at 3:40 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Who knew Ben Collins was still alive?
Mar.8 at 6:16 pm
Tariq says:
Ben Collins: “…wit comes from constant reading, writing and observation.” You’re forgetting hard drugs.
Mar.9 at 7:45 am
TripleDouble says:
@ Ryan.. did you forget this dude? http://youtube.com/watch?v=2FoPZ0PZ32w
Mar.9 at 6:43 pm
Ben Osborne says:
Great post by Jake, with the Ben Collins’ flowers at the end. Lovely. TADone, I’m sure some PIT notes would be welcomed by online editor Sam Rubenstein.
Mar.10 at 9:43 am
the absent minded professor says:
[…] […]
Mar.10 at 3:26 pm
Cub Buenning says:
Jake, I am just reading this on Monday afternoon. great stuff.
Mar.12 at 2:26 pm
chillarock says:
What the F*** happened to the sports magzine that use to live here….It’s like listening to break-up converstion on the L-train.. only in english… Hey, Apple-slop finish cleaning the bosses apartment and wax his car and get back to the arena the popcorn machine is empty…..p.s don’t forget to take out the trash and walk the dog