Stop Hanging out With Murderers, Larry Bird Tells His Pacers
High-ranking NBA execs are expected to provide strong leadership and a clear vision for their franchises.
While most GM’s and team presidents spend their days worrying about contracts, revenue streams, and the minutiae of running a major corporate entity, Larry Bird must also concern himself with the criminal element that is seemingly always lurking around his players.
“We’ve got to get all the information, but we’ve got to be very clear on this: We don’t want our players hanging around with murderers,” Bird said. “It’s not a good sign for our young fans, it’s not a good sign for management, it’s not a good sign for the state of Indiana and everybody involved. We’ve got to get all the details, and we’ll do what’s appropriate.”
Expect to see the following on the 2009 Pacers’ media guide: We Don’t Hang Around Murderers Anymore. Promise!
Other suggestions for the Pacers courtesy of Larry Legend*:
-”We’d really prefer if you didn’t kill any hookers.”
-”Please don’t push any old people down the stairs. That would probably hurt ticket sales.”
-”Tax evasion. Yeah, not a good idea, gentlemen.”
(Feel free to pile on in the comments.)
*Not necessarily true.
43 Responses to “Stop Hanging out With Murderers, Larry Bird Tells His Pacers”
Feb.29 at 4:05 pm
Slick Nick Da Ruler says:
“Even French Lick isn’t this dirty”
Feb.29 at 4:07 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I still think the Pacers should hire Jim Brown.
Feb.29 at 4:07 pm
nick says:
I like the suggestions…but he should know better. Mike Dunleavy Jr. only gets mad when people tell him he should stop killing hookers.
Feb.29 at 4:12 pm
Boing Dynasty says:
All iam saying is if your going to kill someone anyways, hookers are not the worst choice. There filthy creatures, you know.
Feb.29 at 4:13 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Larry Bird longs for the days when the only criminal activity he had to deal with were Robert Parish and Bill Walton smoking funny-smelling cigarettes on the back of the team plane.
Feb.29 at 4:19 pm
steve says:
Its sad that its come to this. To not have the common sense to stay away from murders and rapists. I guess they don’t teach that in rookie orientation classes.
Feb.29 at 4:26 pm
Gerard Himself says:
Rik Smits is rolling over in his grave.
Feb.29 at 4:26 pm
tenorca says:
So, Stephen Jackson comes to the Warriors and becomes a fire-y, likable team leader, Artest goes to Sacto and become…less punchy, certainly. Maybe it’s something about Indiana that makes people violent. Move the franchise.
Feb.29 at 4:28 pm
riggs says:
i know i read an article here that said its very hard for players to leave their childhood friends, no matter how criminal and bad they are, and that is true in this case and others.
Feb.29 at 4:31 pm
Myles Brown says:
Can we get Mike Tyson to sign a ten day contract? Michael Vick? Roger Clemens?
Feb.29 at 4:35 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Little-known fact: Charles Manson ran the point for the ABA Pacers for 10 days back in 1967.
Feb.29 at 4:39 pm
The Tree says:
The last step remaining is the inevitable steroid party
Feb.29 at 4:40 pm
Jolst says:
Bird should quit telling people what to do. Just look at his face and you know that he seriously got beaten up by professional gangsters every once in a while.
Feb.29 at 4:42 pm
Captain America says:
Russ, was Chuck Manson killin’?
Feb.29 at 4:43 pm
Captain America says:
Just in: J. R. Rider is available
Feb.29 at 4:46 pm
Reggie Evans says:
“We don’t f*ck dead corpses … but we will sign live ones.”
Feb.29 at 4:47 pm
The Best Yet says:
Yea Larry, that’ll do it.
Feb.29 at 5:36 pm
ic3 says:
is killing a team by trading some of its best players for a bunch of non-warriorlike warriors considered murder? if so, bird wont want his players hanging out with him then.
Feb.29 at 5:38 pm
Tariq says:
Suggestion # 28: Don’t Eat Soylent Green. It’s people.
Feb.29 at 5:40 pm
Tariq says:
Suggestion # 42: It is Not Recommended that You Marry Kevin Federline and Then Proceed to Lose Touch with Reality.
Feb.29 at 5:54 pm
AB_40 says:
yeah cuzz troy murphy and mike d are gangsta:P haha
Feb.29 at 6:10 pm
Danny Ferry says:
Suggestion #17: Just admit that you farted
Feb.29 at 6:12 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Suggestion #23: Do not allow illegal immigrants to live in your locker.
Feb.29 at 6:17 pm
Danny Ferry says:
Suggestion #39: Stop making Pacman Jones look like a model citizen
Feb.29 at 6:26 pm
D-Advocate says:
If the Pacers want to continue to help their image, just make a trade, the Knicks will trade you Isaiah for a pair of Larry Bird Black Converses.
Feb.29 at 7:18 pm
rav says:
how come none of the colts get into these type of situations?
Feb.29 at 7:30 pm
G Diesel says:
The Knicks should move their franchise to Indianapolis
Feb.29 at 9:06 pm
Danny Ferry says:
Slamonline. Where bad jokes happen
Feb.29 at 10:43 pm
Cass McBride says:
I actually think the Pacers have the most white Americans of any team in the league.
Mar.1 at 12:59 am
B. Long says:
The Pacers remind me of the Chappelle show episode “When keepin It Real Goes Wrong” everyday!
Mar.1 at 2:03 am
Rob Paxon says:
Larry Sez: “This team needs more cowbell.” - “I can has more white pplz?” - “All your crime in Indiana are belong to Pacers” - “Rickroll.” :retires from internet:
Mar.1 at 2:09 am
Sesa says:
Anyone remember that Jermaine O’Neal “The face of the Franchise” came from Portland in the Jailblazers era?
Mar.1 at 2:58 am
Todd D. says:
Please, Pacer players and memebers of this illustrious organizatinon, I strongly beckon that you not commence with the pistol popping bottles on the white house lawn shawn Carter type illusion that six figure pay checks makes you feel like real gangsters of the 70’s like black Lucas, but the truth is “The Man” AKA Larry Legend will sweep your ass to the next team if you continue the BS. So focus on your J and stop smokin them fool.!!!
Mar.1 at 6:13 am
Kevin says:
does nothing ever go right for the Pacers or what…
Mar.1 at 2:38 pm
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
Suggestion #142: Would you be so courteous as to check all fully automatic weapons larger than 9mm at the scorers before each game.
Mar.1 at 6:05 pm
Pats FAN says:
buy out has theo ratliff goin to Detroit
Mar.2 at 7:38 am
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
*at the scorers table*
Mar.3 at 6:21 am
Son of Shawn says:
Larry is going to resign and i´ve heard that Frank Lucas is applying for the job (he used to deal with people like these players when he was young).
Mar.3 at 6:25 am
Son of Shawn says:
HBO´S new show: “The Wire: Pacer´s Roster”
Mar.3 at 6:34 am
Son of Shawn says:
That´s the true reason for the dress code: if you´re a rich gangster, you have to dress like a rich gangster.
Mar.3 at 6:52 am
Son of Shawn says:
Now seriously, do you remember how the play-offs series between the Pacers and the Knicks used to be?. I miss that A LOT
Mar.3 at 11:57 am
markis6385 says:
son of shawn said it best.
Mar.3 at 12:13 pm
Toney Blare says:
kinda of hypocritical for an old friend of John Cougar.