Shaq Is Infuriating.
We know, Shaq. You’re a comedian. But it’s time you quieted down and let your game do the talking.
by Russ Bengtson
I know. We’re not supposed to judge Shaq until he makes his first appearance with his new squad. And it appears that the Big Sunspot will be making his Phoenix appearance soon enough—though not tomorrow night—now that he’s been miraculously cured by the Suns’s winning record brilliant medical staff.
But Shaq continues to make it difficult for us snarky writer types. He’s been making dubious comments since the trade, like “You just don’t really want to get me upset. When I’m upset, I’m known to do certain things — like win championships.” That’s funny, I thought the $20 million a year extension he got from Miami would have been motivation enough to do that. Apparently not. Note to Heat: $60 million extension equals one championship’s worth of effort. Keep in mind when making offers to Shawn “I Just Want To Feel Loved” Marion.
Now there’s the latest Diesel salvo, from the first story linked to above. Seems that, after just a few trips up and down the court with his newest dance partners, The Big Unappreciative has a new outlook on the game:
O’Neal said he’s looking forward to playing with Nash, a two-time MVP who is adept at finding teammates for wide-open shots in the Suns’ free-flowing attack.
“I’ve never had a point guard like him,” O’Neal said. “As I was telling Steve, I haven’t got an easy bucket in six years.”
Excuse me? I think Dwyane Wade just took Shaq out of his Fave Five.
61 Responses to “Shaq Is Infuriating.”
Feb.12 at 8:28 pm
Ken says:
The winning record joke killed me.
Feb.12 at 8:41 pm
BETCATS says:
If their is an opening in Wade’s fave five guess who Shawn Marion is gonna start calling more than the referees?
Feb.12 at 8:43 pm
Reggie Evans says:
Oh NO YOU DI-INT! Russ, you’re gonna get it from eboy and Lil Romeo.
Feb.12 at 9:12 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
really, Shaq? Five years, hey. Making it REAL hard for me to be a fan. As much as I want the Suns to get their rings, I don’t think I can stomach Shaq to having a fistful of rings anymore.
Feb.12 at 9:13 pm
Captain America says:
Oh, for a moment there I thought I was reading some White Hot hatred. Anyway, Nash is an excellent distributor, hands down. Wade is pretty good.
Feb.12 at 9:16 pm
Captain America says:
So, let’s just say Shaq makes a vicious return to former self. Will you be eating your words with salsa?
Feb.12 at 9:20 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Why would I have to eat my words? If Shaq comes back with a vengeance, that means he took the last year-and-a-half off while getting paid max dollars. Who does that make look bad? Him or me? And I’m tired of him constantly being able to get away with throwing teammates under the bus because he’s funny and accessible and the media likes him. About time he became The Big Accountable. He hasn’t gotten an easy basket in six years? That’s the dumbest basketball-related quote I’ve heard IN MY LIFE.
Feb.12 at 9:30 pm
jeremy says:
So he hasnt had an easy bucket in 6 years,what about those 10000 dunks or something like that?Come on.
Feb.12 at 9:30 pm
tenorca says:
Wasn’t Marion’s petulant “why me?” attitude half the reason they traded him in the first place? The Suns swapped an expensive, talented buzzkill for an expensive enjoyable Shaq. I say let him talk. I think that’s part of the idea.
Feb.12 at 9:31 pm
jeremy says:
I still love him though.
Feb.12 at 9:32 pm
jeremy says:
SHAQ,M.D.
Feb.12 at 9:33 pm
John D says:
I completely agree Russ, and I hate to bring a certain shooting guard for the Lakers into this, but Shaq deserves just as much blame as Kobe for the whole feud between them. It’s just that Shaq is funny with the media and Kobe isn’t.
Feb.12 at 9:41 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Wrong, Russ. The dumbest basketball quote you’ve heard in your life is:
“A note to long-suffering Cavaliers’ fans: Don’t get caught in the LeBron James pipe dream. The best King James can ever be is an average NBA player.”—Charley Rosen, espn.com, 2003
I will never, ever, ever get tired of referencing this quote. Ever.
Feb.12 at 9:53 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I should have specified “basketball-related quote from an actual basketball player.”
Feb.12 at 10:23 pm
tenorca says:
I, on the other hand, never get tired of this: “I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, and wear Reebok.” (you know who)
Feb.12 at 10:25 pm
namik says:
Russ: “And I’m tired of him constantly being able to get away with throwing teammates under the bus because he’s funny and accessible and the media likes him. About time he became The Big Accountable. ” FINALLY! Laker fans have been saying this for about 8 years. I hate how everytime Shaq proclaims one of his teammates or coach “the greatest…”, the media quote him like that was the first time he said it. He says it about EVERYONE. F***ing hypocrite.
Feb.12 at 10:57 pm
Bryant Reeves says:
Isn’t Wade a SG? And how exactly is Shaq making it “difficult for us snarky writer types”? Sounds like he is making it pretty easy for a snarky writer type to remain snarky.
Feb.12 at 11:07 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I meant he’s making it difficult for us snarky writer types to reserve judgment until he plays a game. And yes, Wade is an SG. That doesn’t make the latter part of that quote any less moronic.
Feb.13 at 12:07 am
whooo! says:
why have you guys not posted the bill walton rant on shaq? the best part of it? shaq tellin walton he broke the big man code by disprespecting the big man (shaq) greater than him (walton).
Feb.13 at 12:08 am
Dacre says:
Penny got Shaq got the ball real easy….BRIAN SHAW got Shaw the ball real easy…(shawshaq redemption anyone!?!) - Nick Van Exel Got Shaq the ball easy…as did Derek Fisher… Dwayne Wade did not. Period.
Feb.13 at 12:11 am
Dacre says:
…alot of grammar/spelling errors right up in there.
Feb.13 at 12:24 am
John D says:
Oh boy, Shaq vs. Bill Walton. Although Walton is a moron, I think he’s right in this case. He pretty much said what Russ posted.
Feb.13 at 12:33 am
Co Co says:
I”m sticking with The Big Over until further notice Russ.
Feb.13 at 1:08 am
Logan says:
Shaqs got plenty easy buckets his whole career….remember, when Penny/Kobe/Wade drove and dished to Shaq who is just standing under the bucket? remember when Penny/Kobe/Wade hit Shaq with an alley oop? remember when…man, I could do this all day….
Feb.13 at 1:40 am
maio says:
D-Wade didn’t get him the ball but he did get him the ring.
Feb.13 at 1:55 am
tenorca says:
Bill Walton once called Latrell Sprewell the best player in the NBA, so I’d rather ignore him for all perpetuity. Anyway, I still say Shaq’s yammering is half the reason they brought him in. Plus, you really can’t evaluate this move until the playoffs, right?
Feb.13 at 3:00 am
Reggie Evans says:
The Big Infuriating
Feb.13 at 3:08 am
Russ Bengtson says:
I just wish that–for once–Shaq could praise a new situation without deriding a previous one. Miami was plenty good enough when they were giving him $60 million and winning a championship. But hey, thank God someone will FINALLY be able to get him the ball. Maybe he’ll make an All-Star team someday.
Feb.13 at 3:08 am
Ben Osborne says:
Bodie hijacked Russ’ column! And Ryan, you lied to Jake “one comment this week”.
Feb.13 at 3:12 am
tealish says:
I hate the Diesel more and more by the second. I’d take another 1000word blog riddled with scroaching scrotum stories courtesy of Gilbert Arenas over another Shaq quote. “Hadn’t had an easy basket in years?” I want to shoot this man.
Feb.13 at 3:34 am
Jake Appleman says:
yeah, ryan, i want my money back. now. good stuff, russ, i see your point, though i’m just trying to enjoy shaq–and giving him a pass in the process– because he won’t be around much longer.
Feb.13 at 3:55 am
Froggiestyle says:
Well it would be best to see the press conference to get an idea of which Shaq was speaking - the on the level for real shaq or the whiplash smile Imma say sumpin to eff with you all press heads smile. Was there any irony in his statement for those who’ve seen ?
Feb.13 at 4:02 am
Tariq says:
Ryan, that quote that Slam made about KG when he was a rookie is pretty dumb in retrospect. You know, the one that ends in “…if, frankly, ever.”
Feb.13 at 4:05 am
Tariq says:
And I think Shaq is just buttering up Nash and giving the media something to have fun with. The reference to easy baskets I think means that he hasn’t played with an elite PG in a long time. It’s still a dumb quote, don’t get me wrong, it’s just that I don’t think it should be taken literally.
Feb.13 at 7:52 am
James the balla says:
shaq is brutal … all talk this time. Sorry Shaq fans.
Feb.13 at 8:54 am
Ryan Jones says:
See, you f*ckers have made me a liar. Now I must come with “that fire.”
Ben: F*ck you, pedant.
Jake: You’ll get a full refund. I promise.
Tariq: Slam long ago fully owned up to that quote. That said, damn near EVERYBODY thought KG was a huge risk at the time — he was the first, remember? LeBron, meanwhile, had every scout on the planet drooling over him, convinced he’d be pretty much exactly what he is right now — transcendent. And yet the homeless scribe responsible for that quote above, whose entire basis for existence is his alleged expertise, TOTALLY blew it. And he didn’t just blow it, because he didn’t just say “I don’t think LeBron will ever be more than average.” He didn’t even make a PREDICTION about LeBron. He said “CAN BE.” He stated as FACT that LeBron lacked the ABILITY to be anything more than an average NBA player. Words are important, my friend. You know this.
You greedy bastards won’t see me again this week. I trust Ben will keep track of my whereabouts.
Feb.13 at 8:56 am
TADOne says:
Penn State must be proud.
Feb.13 at 10:13 am
white hot eboy says:
I’m pretty sure that comment was a direct fu*k you to Riley, not any of the guys on the Heat. We know what his feelings were leaving LA. He should just keep quiet and play. Then run his mouth if he proves someone wrong.
Feb.13 at 10:48 am
jbn74sb says:
I am just surprised that Shaq stopped chewing long enough to speak.
Feb.13 at 11:25 am
Tariq says:
Ryan: I know Slam fully owned up to that quote. On multiple occassions, in fact. And I wasn’t suggesting that the stupidity of that quote was anywhere near the asininity (is that even a word?) of Rosen. I remember being irked by that Rosen assessment because it seemed to be just an attempt to be a contrarian. I was just saying… P.S. You got it wrong concerning Rosen’s basis for existence. He actually only exists to make Phil Jackson feel squirm whenever he runs into him.
Feb.13 at 11:26 am
Tariq says:
make that “make Phil Jackson squirm”. No “feel”
Feb.13 at 11:37 am
CoolWhip11 says:
LAST! the Big Unappreciative hahahahahah
Feb.13 at 12:02 pm
Young C says:
What I dont understand is why Russ should care about out-of-context Shaq quotes. All Shaq was saying was that Steve Nash is a great player and that the Miami offense wasnt as geared towards him(which it wasnt) as much the triangle offense was geared towards him. Like eboy said, thats more of a criticism of Riley than it was an insult to Wade or any of his teammates. Then Russ complains about how much money Shaq makes like that automatically means hes gonna play like a MVP again. The Heat knew what they were getting when they traded for him. Everybody knew that the Heat only had about a 2-3 year window to win a Championship with Shaq, and once they let half the team leave this summer it was obvious that their run was over. I just dont see where all the Shaq hate is coming from. If Shaq doesnt put Phoenix over top, then his own comments will make him look stupid. But for you to get mad because he’s talking about winning a championship really just makes you look like a hater without a cause.
Feb.13 at 12:19 pm
Myles Brown says:
I cant wait til this fails miserably and The Big Baby tries to blame everyone but himself.
Feb.13 at 12:33 pm
Allenp says:
Shaq is a punk b*tch for that comment. Wade has gotten him so many easy lobs it’s ridiculous. That was a punk move right there.
Feb.13 at 12:41 pm
Allenp says:
Miami ran it’s offense through Shaq all the damn time. Wade threw him alleys all the damn time. I was a Shaq defender even if I thought the trade was stupid but this crosses the line. You can’t just go around talking greasy about everybody.
Feb.13 at 12:43 pm
Myles Brown says:
Another convert. Yes.
Feb.13 at 1:06 pm
eyehatedirk says:
Shaq himself said that he didn’t expect to be the “main guy” in this offense, so if he complains later about touches than he’s making himself look like a fool cause he knew what to expect coming into the situation.
Feb.13 at 1:07 pm
Allenp says:
LOL. Yeah, I’ve been converted. Cause, Shaq had no reason to take a veiled shot at Wade like that. That was wrong. And you know what? It makes me even more sympathetic to Penny, who really go pilloried by Shaq (Fredo anyone?) and also did nothing to deserve it. Kobe may have been a d*ck, but Shaq is much worse.
Feb.13 at 1:11 pm
Myles Brown says:
And the reason he’s worse to me is that he does it all under the guise of a gregarious personality. When in actuality, all signs point towards him being a jealous, insecure, childish and vindictive person. This has happened at every stop of his career and people are finally catching on. Thank God. Of course Id only say that on the internet where Shaq cant separate my tongue from my head, but I still believe it.
Feb.13 at 1:46 pm
Cheryl says:
Seems his wife would agree with you, Max.
Feb.13 at 1:52 pm
matt the jazz fan says:
by the way, the refs got shaq that ring in miami almost as much as wade
Feb.13 at 2:38 pm
TADOne says:
Low blow Cheryl.
Feb.13 at 4:09 pm
Dark says:
And he still gets to take take credit for winning a title “on his own, without Kobe”. Ridiculous. He won 3 with the best ball player on the planet, and 1 more with one of the best and some officiating help. And when I think back to that Dallas series, I don’t even really remember Shaq’s impact - it was all about D Wade leading a miraculous comeback in Game 3, Haslem’s D on Dirk, and Zo coming off the bench and swatting shots like nobody’s business.
Feb.13 at 7:57 pm
FLUXLAND says:
Now explain to me why it would take you a week, or however long since the trade, to come out with this? Reggie Evans and myself were saying this exact same thing in the comments section last week. SLAM waits for other media types / outlets *ahhm.. Bill Walton… ahm* to come out with criticism of a player and then jumps on the bandwagon. Until them you are all over his jock!!!MAN THAT SETS ME OFF! Such a b*tch move.
Feb.13 at 9:39 pm
Sesa says:
First and foremost, Shaq is a great player and was a dominant center. We all pretty much had enjoyed his tenure in the nba. We all enjoyed his sharp and blast-my-teammate comments when he is in his prime.
I think we should still appreciate his achievement and learn to ‘let go’ of those nasty things he said. His skill has deteriorated but his craving for attention did not. It’s called Post-Power syndrome.
As for Bill Walton, his comments were true but it really wasn’t a nice thing to be said. He highlighted Shaq’s disadvantage and ignored what he’s still capable of doing.
IMO that’s one side assesment to me.
Feb.13 at 9:44 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Hey FLUX, my personal demon, I was particularly outraged by the “haven’t had an easy basket in six years” quote. And if you go back through all of those comments sections you mentioned, you’ll notice that I also thought this was a silly trade from the start. I wasn’t waiting for anyone, let alone Bill Walton. In fact, I didn’t read Walton’s comments until after I posted this. So, with the utmost respect, shut up.
Feb.13 at 9:46 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
And Walton’s comments in no way ignored what he’s capable of doing. In fact, they said that IF he comes out and plays well for the Suns, it’s just further proof that he out-and-out quit on the Heat because they were no longer contenders. Which isn’t something that the alleged “Most Dominant Ever” should ever do. And Shaq responding to that perfectly understandable criticism with insults is exactly what we should have expected from Shaq 2008. It’s sad.
Feb.13 at 10:39 pm
FLUXLAND says:
Russ.. i could get into a long explanation.. I’ll sum it up with: My bad! I do try to stop my finger s from typing dumb stuff.. just fails sometimes. Plus Vince Quitter was playing in TO tonight..I’m sure that didn’t help my pregame mood.
Feb.13 at 10:45 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Listening to the Toronto crowd continually boo Vince Carter at the top of their lungs every time he touches the ball warms my shrivelled little heart. No harm, no foul.
Feb.15 at 11:21 am
Darksaber says:
ungratefull brute that Shaquille. Wade got you tons of easy shots. Careful Shaqster, Karma’s a biatch! Shut up now, and let the play do the talking, mmmkay?