The Dearly Departed
Me, Erin Andrews, and a guy named Geary. With pictures. It’s complicated. Just read.
Gear’d Up
Geary Claxton still can’t figure it out. He looks back on his junior season at Penn State—when the optimism of a 10-4 start was crushed by a 13-game Big Ten losing streak—and explanations elude him. “We’d be right in games, and then things would just… turn,” Claxton says. “I got really frustrated. Everybody did.”
A year later, Claxton and his teammates are trying to avoid another winter of discontent. It’s the last chance for Claxton, a 6-5, 215-pound senior forward for whom “do-everything” seems an insufficient adjective. The team’s leading scorer since he was a freshman, he was averaging 18 points and 9 rebounds per game through late December. He’s also Penn State’s best one-on-one defender and one of the top offensive rebounders in the nation. It’s a skill set that earned Claxton preseason first-team Big Ten honors and a spot on the Naismith Award watch list—proof that hops, hustle and determination can still go a long way.
“I don’t know if there’s anybody I’ve coached who I’ve asked to do so many different things,” says Nittany Lion coach Ed DeChellis. “And Geary can do anything we ask him.”
DeChellis, a Penn State alum who got his start as a Nittany Lion grad assistant in the early ’80s, came back to his alma mater in 2003; Claxton was one of his first recruits. Neither was around for the program’s last NCAA trip, an unexpected Sweet 16 run in ‘01. Both hope to be there for the next one. “I want to turn this program around before I leave,” says Claxton. “I think this is gonna be the year for us to do great things. I know I’ve put my work in, and I want to go out with a bang.” —RYAN JONES
This was supposed to run as an In Your Face in SLAM 115, but Ben Osborne decided to hold it because the issue had fewer pages than expected (as often happens with magazines around the end of the year). Then it was supposed to run in SLAM 116, for which I rewrote it slightly to update some stats. And it was pretty much out the door—by which I mean the page was laid out, edited and shipped to the printer—when Geary Claxton blew out his knee in a loss to Wisconsin in mid-January. Shortly after which, Ben pulled the story again, this time for good.
Injury, meet insult. I’ve got a feeling you two will hit it off.
So, you’re reading this here. Why now? Last night, I made the three-minute drive from my house to the Bryce Jordan Center to catch Ohio State. A few weeks ago, when Penn State was 2-0 in the Big Ten, this was the sort of potential home upset people around here who follow basketball were really excited about. Going into last night’s game, Penn State was 2-5 in the Big Ten, and people around here who follow basketball know the home team might not win another game this season. But I went anyway, because OSU’s got some good freshmen I haven’t had a chance to see in person, and because Erin Andrews was gonna be there. Mostly the second thing.
(True story: I was in San Antonio with some family in late December for the Alamo Bowl, and we were in the middle of a really, really good meal at this Mexican restaurant when Andrews, Chris Fowler and Doug Flutie walk in for dinner. I’m trying to explain to my wife and mother who they are, specifically that EA is every college football and basketball fan’s dream girl. And my mom goes, “Her? Really?” I learned two things from this: 1, Unlike most humans, Erin Andrews actually gets better looking on camera, and 2, My mom is probably not a lesbian.)
Anyway. Last night was the first game I showed up for since the Wisconsin game, the same game in which Claxton snapped a ligament, and a game I left at halftime for the first time probably ever. (I’m generally not a leave-at-halftime kind of guy). I came expecting to see a very talented and well-coached OSU squad batter my confidence-deprived team, and that’s mostly what happened. The home team played well, inspired by a really strong student turnout and better-than-usual three-point shooting. It was tied at the half, and Penn State was up four a few minutes into the second half. Then came the grueling and totally predictable drought, a 10-minute scoreless span that dosed the crowd like morphine and killed all hope.
All the while, Claxton watched from his spot at the end of the bench. Jeans and a sweatshirt, left leg stiff and extended as he sat, or dragging behind him when he stood at timeouts to limp to the fringe of the team huddle. We’ve all seen it before, the star player rendered sad-eyed spectator, his overmatched teammates trying to win without him. It rarely turns out well.
As the number above imply, Claxton was/is pretty good at basketball. I’m not sure of the tense I should be using, since he’s not playing a whole lot right now, and since his college career is in fact over. But he apparently plans on trying to make the League after he finishes his rehab. I wouldn’t exactly bet on him, but in a season in which this guy is a potential Rookie of the Year candidate, I also wouldn’t rule it out.
There are a lot of guys like this, I know, impact players on non-impact teams, guys who put up incredible numbers well away from the spotlight. All deserve some attention, and we do our best to shine that light on them when we can. Claxton has the benefit of having gone to the same school as a former SLAM Ed., so he gets the shine today. He also had the bad luck to blow out his knee. Either way, he deserved the ink. He’ll have to settle for the HTML.
80 Responses to “The Dearly Departed”
Jan.30 at 9:40 am
white hot eboy says:
I like how Erin is holding a hair spray bottle in that picture.
Jan.30 at 9:41 am
white hot eboy says:
The second thing photo is primo.
Jan.30 at 9:42 am
Ryan Jones says:
One of her courtside gigs last night included hanging out with a bunch fo the students sharing the pizza that they’d won during a timeout contest. She took one bite (on camera, of course) and then gave the rest of the piece to one of the kids. She does know how to please.
Jan.30 at 9:42 am
Jared says:
Geays the man, heal up young’n…and Erin Andrews…she bad she bad
Jan.30 at 9:43 am
white hot eboy says:
Sucks for your boy Claxton, Jones. Wish him a speedy recovery. And the “mom’s probably not a lesbian” line has made this dreary Wednesday that much greater already.
Jan.30 at 9:44 am
Keith says:
Any news on Khalim’s piece on Chris Paul?
Jan.30 at 9:44 am
white hot eboy says:
That’s a typical hot chick move.
Jan.30 at 9:46 am
Ryan Jones says:
The magic of Erin Andrews — beyond the obvious physical qualities — is that she gets away with the hot chick moves without seeming annoying about it. Fine line. She walks it well.
Jan.30 at 9:46 am
Ryan Jones says:
The magic of Erin Andrews — beyond the obvious physical qualities — is that she gets away with the hot chick moves without seeming annoying about it. Fine line. She walks it well.
Jan.30 at 9:46 am
Keith says:
Eboy..nice use of ‘Speedy’ and ‘Claxton’ in the same sentence.
Jan.30 at 9:47 am
Sam Rubenstein says:
Ryan, you know I interviewd Erin for a dimedrop a few months ago. I’ll sell you the audio if you need some late night “listening material”
Jan.30 at 9:48 am
white hot eboy says:
I’m all about the word connection. And yeah, Jones, she is a male sports fan’s dream. Well, maybe a few lesbians as well, I would imagine.
Jan.30 at 9:49 am
DP says:
Erin Andrews is my kind of chick. a go getta that is i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t. do you know what that mean man? play wit it.
Jan.30 at 9:53 am
white hot eboy says:
I believe if given the proper place to hide himself, Jones could re-enact the pool scene from “Fast Times At Ridgemount High” with Sam’s audio tape and a few photos of Ms. Andrews as the implements to ecstacy.
Jan.30 at 10:03 am
Ryan Jones says:
I’m happily married Sam, plus I go to bed early these days. So I’m good. But thanks.
Jan.30 at 10:06 am
white hot eboy says:
Ryan is such a killjoy.
Jan.30 at 10:07 am
Ryan Jones says:
Sorry. I’m also more into brunettes.
Jan.30 at 10:08 am
white hot eboy says:
Sorry, Jones, I forget your affinity for the Cruz sisters.
Jan.30 at 10:10 am
Ryan Jones says:
Don’t let it happen again.
Jan.30 at 10:11 am
Bryan says:
Where’s the post up?
Jan.30 at 10:11 am
white hot eboy says:
You got it.
Jan.30 at 10:13 am
Ryne Nelson says:
I’m still waiting for it…just posting about Walton.
Jan.30 at 10:15 am
Ryne Nelson says:
I guess to be fair, there was a lot to write about last night: Sonics over the Spurs, the mascot injury, Anthony Parker’s clutch, Balkman’s elbow, the Hawks sucking.
Jan.30 at 10:16 am
white hot eboy says:
Sandberg, do you not appreciate the greatness of Ryan Jones? Can you not interject any thoughts about the shi*tiness of the injury suffered by Mr. claxton or the wholesome goodness of Erin Andrews? Can you, CAN YOU!!!!! For shame, new kid in town, for shame.
Jan.30 at 10:20 am
Ryan Jones says:
eboy’s like my mom with all the supportiveness, but he’s unlike my mom regarding Erin Andrews.
Jan.30 at 10:21 am
white hot eboy says:
Hey, man, I’m a fan. Sue me.
Jan.30 at 10:23 am
Ryne Nelson says:
Well, now that I know Ryan Jones went to Penn State, I can’t say anything good about the man. Big Ten rivalries trump artistic praise.
Jan.30 at 10:25 am
Jared says:
they looked good for a little more than a half last night tho…i want them to emerge as a college basketball powerhouse…geary woulda really helped
Jan.30 at 10:25 am
white hot eboy says:
Just realizing that about Ryan is like not knowing Lang has a dog named Starbury. Better brush on SLAM history, Ryno.
Jan.30 at 10:26 am
Ryan Jones says:
Assuming you’re a Buckeye, Sandberg, there’s not much I can say. We can’t beat you guys at anything lately. I do take pride in the fact that our student-athletes graduate at roughly twice the rate yours do, but I realize that’s not great fodder for sh*t talking.
Jan.30 at 10:26 am
Dan says:
Hey Jones, you and I are one in the same. That is, the way Eboy talks to me is like that of an alcoholic, abussive mother, but deep down I know he still loves me.
Jan.30 at 10:26 am
Ryan Jones says:
Never, ever, ever happen Jared. I’d just like them to be consistently decent, but even that seems unlikely at the moment.
Jan.30 at 10:26 am
Ryne Nelson says:
…or which Ed. are you referring to in the last graph, Ryan?
Jan.30 at 10:27 am
Ryne Nelson says:
Fighting Illini, man
Jan.30 at 10:30 am
Ryan Jones says:
Was referring to myself, Sanberg. And my sh*tty basketball team beat your sh*tty basketball team at your place this year, so there.
Jan.30 at 10:32 am
white hot eboy says:
Dan, that would make you my Marshall Mathers.
Jan.30 at 10:33 am
Chris O says:
Now I can’t get the music that was playing in the fast times poolhouse scene out of my head. Duh nuh nuh nuh…bwer bwer bwer…
Jan.30 at 10:34 am
H to the izzo says:
Geared up means something completely different where I’m at.
Jan.30 at 10:35 am
white hot eboy says:
Moving In Stero by the Cars, Chris.
Jan.30 at 10:38 am
white hot eboy says:
*Stereo
Jan.30 at 10:41 am
Ryne Nelson says:
How has Penn State put into the league recently, Jones?
Jan.30 at 10:44 am
Ryne Nelson says:
Re: eminem…hahaha!
Jan.30 at 10:46 am
Dan says:
You know, just before I hit submit, I thought about any negative Eminem reprocussions that may have come along with it, but I decided to go ahead anyhow. Clearly Eboy is never going to forget that.
Jan.30 at 10:48 am
white hot eboy says:
“Cause I’m just Marshall Mathers, I’m just a regular guy, no one gives a f*ck about me”.
Jan.30 at 10:52 am
H to the izzo says:
I hate Eminem post 2004.
Jan.30 at 10:53 am
Ryan Jones says:
I don’t understand the question, Ryne.
Jan.30 at 10:54 am
white hot eboy says:
I love Shady pre 2004.
Jan.30 at 10:55 am
H to the izzo says:
Just an angry young man rapping about things that may or may not have happened.
Jan.30 at 10:56 am
Ryan Jones says:
…says the Irish guy who named himself after Jay-Z.
Jan.30 at 10:58 am
H to the izzo says:
I hate you “professor”.
Jan.30 at 11:00 am
Ryan Jones says:
“Adjunct,” thank you very much.
Jan.30 at 11:02 am
H to the izzo says:
How many impressionable young students have you taken advantage of so far?
Jan.30 at 11:04 am
Ryan Jones says:
I’m a professional, izzo. That thought has not even occured to me.
Jan.30 at 11:06 am
H to the izzo says:
Bodie would be appalled,you’d be surprised what some people would do for an A*
*Inappropriate.
Jan.30 at 11:11 am
Ryne Nelson says:
The announcer was hilarious! “NOOOOOO! IT’S NOT POSSIBLE!!!” If only they won the game.
Jan.30 at 11:11 am
Ryan Jones says:
Also, I’m mindful that I never known who might be reading this. My name is on it, after all.
Jan.30 at 11:29 am
maio says:
Am I the only one who thought this was about Reggie Geary?
Jan.30 at 11:29 am
Tariq says:
I’ve never heard of Erin Andrews before, but when I saw that pic with the orange sweater, Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely” started blaring in my head in stereo.
Jan.30 at 11:29 am
Holly MacKenzie says:
Ryan, do you go by Mr. Jones, Professor Jones? How are you enjoying this new gig?
Jan.30 at 11:30 am
Holly MacKenzie says:
I’ve never heard of her either, Tariq. I don’t know any US sports personalities though.
Jan.30 at 11:30 am
white hot eboy says:
It would be way cooler if you went by Dr. Jones and had a 10 year Chinese sidekick and a fedora and a whip.
Jan.30 at 11:35 am
Tariq says:
We are undercover passion on the run/Chasing love up against the suuu-u-un
Jan.30 at 11:40 am
white hot eboy says:
That’s another Stevie song isn’t, Tariq?
Jan.30 at 11:52 am
Ryan Jones says:
Holly: I go by “Ryan,” thanks for asking, though most of the students haven’t figured that out yet. I’ve been called “Professor” a lot the past few weeks. It’s understandable. You’d rather err on the side of formality when dealing with someone who’s grading your work. And it’s stressful, especially the prep time, and it’s interesting to see how people react to being graded/corrected from the other side of that coin. But it’s alright.
eboy: You’re right. It would be way cooler.
Tariq: You went from referencing one of the best Stevie Wonder songs to arguably the worst in a span of five comments. Impressive.
Jan.30 at 12:07 pm
Ben Osborne says:
Ryan, guess who replaced Geary? You’re other boyfriend, Marvin Williams (this issue, by the way, will be revealed here before the end of the week). Hope the Marv news softens the blow. And Geary, get well soon!
Jan.30 at 12:08 pm
H to the izzo says:
I thought LeBron was Ryan’s boyfriend?Now I am confused.
Jan.30 at 12:15 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
Ryan you’re lucky you don’t have me in your class. I would be the biggest suck up if I knew my professor was a former EIC of SLAM. haha man. You would hate me and I’d probably end up digging my own grave. I’m sure it has been mentioned already and I am just drawing a blank, but what are you teaching?
Jan.30 at 12:15 pm
Chris O says:
Ryan, when people call you the professor do you feel like you’re on the And 1 tour?
Jan.30 at 12:31 pm
Ryan Jones says:
I got a lot of bodyfriends, izzo.
Holly: I’m not sure any of my students have even heard of Slam. And it’s feature writing for journalism.
Chris: The professor and I are similar in being scrawny white dude. Not much else.
Jan.30 at 12:31 pm
H to the izzo says:
Also:It’s probably worth mentioning that I watched the Penn State OSU game,Penn weren’t as bad as I thought they would be,they were still pretty bad though.
Jan.30 at 12:42 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
ohhh, that hurts my heart. Understandable though, because if your students are anything like my fellow classmates, basketball is the LAST thing on their minds. Politics and all of that nonsense is the major topic of convo. Still, LBJ’s main man is teaching them the tricks of the trade and they don’t even know it.. That’s harsh.
Jan.30 at 12:43 pm
H to the izzo says:
“Politics and all of that nonsense is the major topic of convo” I love you Holly.
Jan.30 at 12:45 pm
H to the izzo says:
And Ryan is Lyndon Johnson’s main man?!Just doin’ a bit of shtickela there.
Jan.30 at 2:21 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Watched part of the game last night (though, I’m not sure why). Almost texted you to ask if you were teaching Ethan how to spell “Kosta Koufos”.
Jan.30 at 2:22 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Because Koufos plays for “Doody”, right? Or are they not “Doody” because it’s not their football team?
Jan.30 at 3:12 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Michigan is stinky like ca-ca, Jake, is what I think you were referring to. We haven’t really gotten to OSU yet. We focus on Michigan and Liverpool.
Jan.30 at 5:11 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: Yeah, that’s “Part time Lover”. And I take offense to Ryan calling it one of Stevie’s worst. Stevie can do no wrong, son.
Jan.30 at 8:33 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Everybody has a “worst,” Tariq, no matter how good they are. And I’m sorry, but that song is annoying as sh*t.
Jan.31 at 11:22 am
davis says:
Geary Claxton is a baller, its the rest of his team
Jan.31 at 12:50 pm
Cub Buenning says:
Love hearing the teacher stories, Ryan.
My nine years in front of the class were memorable to say the least, prepping sucks. Most don’t appreciate that teachers work all day long (then might coach) then go home and grade/plan for the next day. Toughest/easiest job in the world. This country needs more love for their teachers. Agreed on Part Time Lover.