Jail gets tougher when Charles Oakley is there
Mutoni is unavailable at the moment, but this is one of those critical issues that demand immediacy. NBA icon Charles Oakley was arrested early this morning in Georgia when cops observed him driving erratically. The Oak Man was under the legal limit, so it’s not a DUI, but was charged with impaired driving. From The Smoking Gun:
Though a Breathalyzer test showed Oakley’s blood alcohol content was below the state limit, the former New York Knicks forward (who turned 44 today) was charged with impaired driving (state law makes it a crime if a motorist is “under the influence of alcohol to the extent that it is less safe for the person to drive”). A cooperative Oakley, who was nabbed around 3 AM, was also cited for failure to maintain a lane
Happy Birthday! Charles spent three hours in jail. In that time, 10 inmates complained of headaches caused by a blunt instrument resembling a human forearm. It’s appropriate that hours after the New York Knicks reached a new level of softness, their most rugged fan favorite ex-player would get himself locked up.
Even though I’m having fun with this, drunk driving is not a joke.
Then again, neither is Oak.
51 Responses to “Jail gets tougher when Charles Oakley is there”
Dec.18 at 2:33 pm
H to the izzo says:
“In that time, 10 inmates complained of headaches caused by a blunt instrument resembling a human forearm” Bravo
Dec.18 at 2:33 pm
white hot eboy says:
I guess yelling out of another vehicle “pick a lane, buddy” wouldn’t have flown so well with Senor Forearm, huh.
Dec.18 at 2:35 pm
Tom says:
“Pimpin ain’t dead, hoes are just scared”…This quote alone makes Oak a Hall of Famer.
Dec.18 at 2:38 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Oak probably had a BAC somewhere around 8.6, but the breathalyzer knew better.
Dec.18 at 2:51 pm
Allenp says:
I always liked Oak, but here’s what I find interesting. Oak is clearly a bad ass on and off the court. He might have some mental problems. But his gangsta is respected and even celebrated while other players who display similar characteristics are ridiculed. Anybody got a theory on why he remains so popular?
Dec.18 at 2:52 pm
mdshui says:
I bet the knicks would take him back; they took Penny and Houstan
Dec.18 at 2:54 pm
Wilford Brimley says:
Tyrone Hill finally got 3 hours of sleep.
Dec.18 at 3:07 pm
Roscoe Chibbs says:
“Tyrone Hill finally got 3 hours of sleep” HaHa well said Brimley… Oak was in Ga.?? No doubt was probably lookin for the still-spooked Jeff MacInnis
Dec.18 at 3:07 pm
Jared says:
hahaha wilford. Allen I think Oak is so respected because of how hard he played the game. It’s not like he’s done anything too awful, and while I don’t condone drunk driving, this is probably the most heinous thing he’s done. Nobody hates on Sheed for burning…Oak is just a tough guy, who left everything on the floor, and it seems takes the same approach to life, he’s a mans man. Maybe not the best role model for children, but he kinda lives one of those chuck norris type lives in how gangsta he keeps it.
Dec.18 at 3:09 pm
d.Y. says:
It’s ’cause Oak is that intimidating. I’m not brave enough to ridicule him. He probably got a iphone with that google earth map. He can find me…
Dec.18 at 3:10 pm
Harlem_World says:
Fire Isiah and bring in Oak. I don’t give a damn if he can’t put in any sets. He WILL bring the locker room together and get them playing hard…or else. He needs to get Curry in a headlock and pimp slap the backcourt. Bring in Oak, Mase as an assistant and X-Man to enforce team rules.
Dec.18 at 3:11 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Oak gets away with it the same way Barkley gets away with saying whatever he wants. SOme guys just have “it.” For example, anyone else making fun of people with tattoos you’d say oh that’s just the generation gap/ignorance and so on. But when Oakley says of Kenyon Martin “In my day, a guy who jumps that high with that many tattoos, he would’ve wound up sitting on the floor at least once.” it’s awesome, just because it’s Oakley.
Dec.18 at 3:19 pm
marvin says:
Charles Oakley one of my favorites
Dec.18 at 3:24 pm
riggs says:
after i saw footage of oak slapping the sh*t out of pippen, i found a deep respect for him to be honest.
Dec.18 at 3:25 pm
riggs says:
oh and tim thomas is heading down the path of the OAK.
Dec.18 at 3:31 pm
Captain America says:
“Failure to maintain a lane” was not a problem for Oak in the NBA.
Dec.18 at 3:38 pm
Pat Is Five says:
One of the reasons I love Oak is that, all badassness aside, his shot was more Danny Ainge than Danny Fortson.
Dec.18 at 3:39 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
The only similarity Tim Thomas has with Charles Oakley is that they’re both human beings.
Dec.18 at 3:46 pm
Clement says:
Maybe Oak should have just said he was ‘Ghostriding his Whip’ and the cops would have let him get away with it…
Dec.18 at 4:03 pm
Tom says:
Charles Oakley is the Chuck Norris of the NBA.
Dec.18 at 4:12 pm
Jukai says:
I’d love to join in on this guys, but I’m not sure Oakley can fit anymore dicks up his @$$. This is cute and all, though.
Dec.18 at 4:18 pm
white hot eboy says:
Jukai, we wouldn’t want to take you from the pleasures of the inner regions of a certain Canadian point guard.
Dec.18 at 4:23 pm
Old Skool Sloan says:
When are Jordan and Oakley gonna get a show? Traveling around the world and solving crimes and s**t, it’d be like “Johnny Quest” but R-rated.
Dec.18 at 4:27 pm
Jukai says:
Yours couldn’t please him anyway, WHE. I just don’t get the love, is all. I know I was a wee-bit teenager, but Oakley but a Dennis Rodman who could score a bit more and wear women’s clothing a bit less. Sure, he talked a good entertaining game but he wasn’t the best thing in basketball since sliced bread and I sure as hell don’t wish the NBA had more of him.
Dec.18 at 4:35 pm
Bryan says:
He was tough as nails dude. That’s why people liked him , he led people with his attitude.
Dec.18 at 4:42 pm
Jukai says:
He never led anyone. He was on set teams that already had leaders. Bah, it’s just another SlamOnline obsession (OJ Mayo, Kevin Garnett, comparing hip hop to basketball at every given chance) that I will sadly never understand.
Dec.18 at 4:45 pm
Bryan says:
You’re an idiot.
Dec.18 at 4:46 pm
Jared says:
Dude…he’s the f*cking man! When you look at the NBA today and see b!tches crying over 10 mil not being enough to feed their family, and you see a lack of intensity, and hustle, and ben wallace making 60 mil to do what OAK did for way less…you appreciate the charles oakleys a whole lot more. Plus, he’s pretty much the most cracked out player (pre-steph) of the past 15 years. Picture this…Charles Oakley = Ben Wallace + Chuck Norris + Tyrone Biggins in a blender… not the greatest ball player, but definitely the greatest person, ever.
Dec.18 at 4:46 pm
white hot eboy says:
Jukai=Towlie from South Park. “I have no idea what’s going on”.
Dec.18 at 4:50 pm
Jared says:
hahaha…you’re a towel
Dec.18 at 5:02 pm
JohnnyRebel says:
Oaks a bitch.
Dec.18 at 6:17 pm
albert says:
i love how you say “nba icon charles oakley”
Dec.18 at 6:42 pm
TADOne says:
Co sign Eboy and Shia. Hey Jukai, you must be like 16.
Dec.18 at 7:18 pm
Gumdrop says:
Charles Oakley is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Dec.18 at 7:19 pm
Gumdrop says:
Charles Oakley knows the exact location of Carmen San Diego.
Dec.18 at 7:20 pm
Gumdrop says:
Charles Oakley abolished the periodic table of elements, because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise.
Dec.18 at 7:21 pm
Gumdrop says:
Those were all, originally, about Chuck Norris…but I think they apply.
Dec.18 at 7:48 pm
Jukai says:
Bryan, is it hard to type with your mouth permanently grafted to Oakley’s ass? YEAH, he had hussle and he didn’t bitch and he toughed people up. He also didn’t have much talent. The guy would push his way in the post and jump to catch a ball. WOW WHAT GREAT BASKETBALL! You guys must be touching yourselves waiting for Roy Hibbert to enter the NBA. I’m glad people are finally reading this and saying “… who cares about Charles Oakley?”
Dec.18 at 7:50 pm
Jukai says:
I’m not arguing the 90s weren’t the Golden Age of basketball, I’m saying that the reason for it being so great wasn’t because people elbowed each other the entire game. It’s actually exactly what Jared said, it’s because people played hard. And you saw they played hard. But it was mostly cause the TALENTED people played hard. None of this Vince Carter crap that is so frequent in the NBA. Charles Oakley was not a key part of this.
Dec.18 at 7:51 pm
nothin personal says:
let me get it sraight Russ, you classify Tim Thomas as animalia vetebrata mammalia homo sapiens? just ridiculous
Dec.18 at 8:00 pm
nothin personal says:
if Charles Oakley types were doing Charle Oakley things in 2000, Vince would never be considered a star. Maybe something like Reggie Miller without the clutch-ness. there is no way he would ever go near the rim. So, in the 90’s bi7ch*s wererecognized as such early on (Tim Thomas!). AQnd you are saying this is a bad thing?
Dec.18 at 8:57 pm
Jukai says:
Oh god, not this again… Nothin Personal, according to your logic, do you consider the 1970s the greatest basketball era ever?
Dec.19 at 1:10 am
KobeStopper says:
nothing personal: I think Charles Oakley was actually playing WITH Vince Carter in 2000 Oakley was one of my favorite players as a kid. I patterned my game after him, but without the jumper. I remember getting his autograph at an open practice the Raptors had when I was in high school
Dec.19 at 4:39 am
Andy says:
Jukai, I think the problem here is that you’re coming across as more than a little arrogant. It’s gone beyond you having your own opinion on this, to you seemingly slapping down everyone else’s because they don’t agree with you. If people want to love Charles Oakley, let them. And don’t get so wound up about it.
Dec.19 at 5:34 am
Ho-Llamas says:
I’ve memories of vague Pat Riley quote, circa 1994. He said that, over his career, he’d coached 4 players who were impact players. Oakley and Starks were in it, Ewing wasn’t. This really means nothing, I just thought I’d mention it. Thanks for your time
Dec.19 at 6:53 am
anotha dude from europe says:
Charles Oakley sneezes with open eyes!!!
Dec.19 at 11:05 am
t.dot dude says:
hahahahahahaah stupid arm
Dec.19 at 12:37 pm
Jukai says:
Andy… eh, I can’t argue.
Dec.19 at 2:13 pm
DennLive says:
I’m going to Oakley’s Car Wash in honor of him just being the man.
Dec.19 at 7:26 pm
Slim says:
I’m surprised Oak was cooperative
Dec.20 at 1:27 am
DJ says:
hey guys what up ? i’ve been a subscriber of your mag from day one, i have ever issue and i was hoping to sway you guys to do a piece on Rod Strickland who is now coach derrick rose , is the most under rated guard since kevin johnson, so please do something for him. he made your cover once, hook him up !! thanks.