Bizarre NBA Media Guide cover art
Minnesota and Memphis are the champions! (In this world)
Last year at this time, when the NBA media guides arrived at the office, former E-I-C Ryan Jones took some time out of his day to go through every single last one and give a critique. We never knew Ryan had that much time on his hands, and it was as they say, a harbinger of things to come. But that was last year. I’m here to give the raw visuals of comedy, strictly looking at covers. I scan for your pleasure.
Most media guides are safely generic, a few of the best players on the team, maybe a commemorative look back for the 60th anniversary or something, perhaps an inspiring slogan. Then there are two teams that stuck out, ones that make you say… I don’t know it’s up to you.
First up is the Memphis Grizzlies:
Don’t adjust your monitors. That’s not a scratchy image, it’s supposed to look drawn like that. I dressed up as a pirate for Halloween, but maybe I was just being Pau Gasol.
And your second image, once again they chose the lighting, this was not tampered with and the scanner was pretty accurate:
That’s right! It’s three Timberwolves players lurking in the shadows with the ever-so-promising slogan “See What They Can Do.” They can lose 60 games. You can see it. And as an organization just said goodbye to its heart and soul, the one man that’s not around that will overshadow everything they do this year, they chose to put their three players in heavy shadow. Maybe it means they begin in shadow, and they will emerge from it as the season goes on, and this is just so artistic.
Either way. Enjoy!
31 Responses to “Bizarre NBA Media Guide cover art”
Nov.1 at 1:53 pm
Cheryl says:
Why are the Grizz holding the old “reformed” ball? Is that last year’s media guide or what? And Pau looks a little… outspoken.
Nov.1 at 1:53 pm
white hot eboy says:
Wow! The Grizz cover looks like one of those old Menudo press photos from 1983.
Nov.1 at 2:03 pm
Myles Brown says:
Sweetwater Jones should’ve been on the T’Wolves cover. Look him up. It’s fantastic. And the Grizzlies cover looks like something off of a harlequin romance novel.
Nov.1 at 2:06 pm
Steve O says:
Where’s Darko on the Grizzlies cover? And I can’t even tell who the short guy in front of Brewer and Jefferson is. Nice work T-Wolves.
Nov.1 at 2:07 pm
Myles Brown says:
Foye.
Nov.1 at 2:19 pm
RV says:
i guess they use those balls for media stuff now, not like they are being used for anything else
Nov.1 at 2:21 pm
RV says:
i seems to me like Damon was added on to that cover, you know, just incase he’s traded by mid-season..
Nov.1 at 2:25 pm
white hot eboy says:
I think I had an airbrushed denim jacket with a drawing of Bon Jovi on it similar to the Grizz’s pic when I was 16.
Nov.1 at 2:28 pm
Kevin Wilson says:
At least they didn’t go with complete honesty … Tim Duncan and Tony Parker with brooms, cause a first-round sweep from the Spurs is the best either of them will do.
Nov.1 at 2:44 pm
hbomb says:
telfair?
Nov.1 at 2:45 pm
Bryan says:
Mike Miller really does look like a woman in that picture.Amazing.
Nov.1 at 2:50 pm
Basketball Carriere says:
Homoerotism?
Nov.1 at 2:51 pm
white hot eboy says:
Mike Miller appears to be hotter than Diana Taurasi in said drawing.
Nov.1 at 2:51 pm
jbn74sb says:
Emaciated Imbecile C-cklover?
Emotional Immature Cracker?
Nov.1 at 2:53 pm
jbn74sb says:
Eboy - The kid I just dropped off in the toilet is hotter than Taurasi.
Nov.1 at 2:56 pm
Hisham says:
Ebony Ivory Colombia
Nov.1 at 2:56 pm
white hot eboy says:
That’s incredible imagery, right there.
Nov.1 at 3:15 pm
Ryan Jones says:
In fact, I only did half the League, because I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO DO THEM ALL. Once again, Sam plays fast and loose with the facts. I feel like I’m at a Republican presidential debate, only nobody wants to bomb Iran.
Nov.1 at 3:17 pm
Ryan Jones says:
It was a good idea I had, though.
Nov.1 at 3:39 pm
Rasheedionics says:
WHo was on KNicks media guide cover? Isiah Thomas with slogan: We don’t love them ho’s”
Nov.1 at 3:53 pm
Ryan Jones says:
“B*tches,” sheed. Isiah calls them “b*tches.”
Nov.1 at 3:58 pm
Tom says:
i think the t-wolves cover means, we have no idea who’s gonna actually be on the team as the year progresses. I mean I can barely name 3 current t-wolves myself
Nov.1 at 4:08 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
antagonizing Ryan is the new antagonizing Khalid.
The Knicks slogan is “experience Knicks basketball” and in the top right corner there is a photo of Isiah and ZBO. The Suns slogan is “welcome to planet orange.” I think that’s a disease. The Cavs is strangely “All for One one for all” and it’s a faceless group of players huddling up. The opposite of what you’d expect.
You can purchase them. Most cost $10 but for some reason the Spurs is only $7.
Nov.1 at 4:42 pm
Bryan says:
The Cavs one is hilarious Sam.
Nov.1 at 5:19 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Damon Stoudamire looks like he’s 250 years old. In other words, that’s an incredibly accurate portrayal of Damon Stoudamire. (I really wanted to spell Stoudamire with the second “e” there. Damn you, Amare! In related news, I hate that “Dwayne” looks weird now.)
Nov.1 at 5:37 pm
Justin Adler says:
The Grizz cover looks like a lame photoshop you’d see on a cheap-ass mixtape cover. Just out of curiosity did Kobe make the Lakers’ cover?
Nov.1 at 6:15 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
good question justin
Nov.2 at 12:04 pm
Johnnypinball says:
So, was Damon Stoudamire 50 when he posed for this photograph?
Nov.3 at 6:51 pm
DaMemphis Code says:
I think Mike Miller is The Savior’s wife.
Nov.4 at 2:37 pm
Bryant Reeves says:
Why is Pau’s uni pink? It looks like he threw Mike Miller’s pink panties in with the laundry.
May.16 at 3:17 pm
Woody7 says:
Alright folks. Both of these covers are designed quite well. If you do not have a graphic design degree, you shouldn’t be giving your opinion about these designs. So what if they are trying a throw-back, retro look? Would you rather everyone did the same thing all the time? That is boring and conservative. Embrace change.