Half Baked/Take THAT Comments Section!
This is about KOBE!!!
By Myles Brown
First of all, this was orginally meant to be a mere modest expression of opinion in this post. But as I continually pressed “Submit Comment” only to see my ethereal wisdom disappear into the abyss, I realized it was the SLAMonline Gods telling me that another glorious season is upon us and it was time to transcribe.
Either that, or the f–king interweb is a piece of s–t and lost my comment just like it does all of yours. I’m gonna believe in myself and go with the first one.
It was a cruel-yet eventful-summer for the NBA as player movements provided column fodder between scandals, but recently there has been a tenor of hope that the league can actually improve this year. So as the disdain for Donaghy dissipates, to celebrate tipoff this year we’re enjoying a time honored festivitiy that normally doesn’t appear on the horizon until the dawn of spring: Kobe Hating.
The Artist We Would Rather Know As Michael hasn’t had another public performance since this past summers one man extravaganza in which he went in on everyone from the owner to management to a 19 year old. Lately, his on court appearances have been far from entertaining as he looked distracted at best, Vince Carter at worst.
And as he waits in Los Angeles for an opportunity to challenge his namesake, Kobe Bryant has heard it all from everyone. Surely his response bears a striking similarity to my missing comment, and my missing comment to the words of another wise man…
“Kobe’s a b—h. His contract didn’t include a team upgrade as far as I know, so he should have been more careful negotiating it.” -F you. That’s why he’s so angry! He must have considered that when signing his extension, and to think that a man so competitive and preoccupied with his legacy wouldn’t is naive. Although it clearly wasn’t a part of the contract, it certainly came up during negotiations and it’s obvious what the answer must’ve been if he resigned. Which is exactly what Kobe said happened.
But a lengthy passage at the end of Phil’s “Last Season” details how Buss said he was going to be dialing things back. (Can’t…muster energy…..to..to tran…transcribe. Buy it yourself.) So Buss either knowingly lied to Kobe or he failed to fulfill his promise. Either way, Kobe is well within his boundaries to complain about it.
“Kobe should just shut the hell up and be loyal to the team that showed loyalty to him during his trial.” F–k you. Kobe remained in purple and gold out of loyalty, rather than go to Chicago or across the hall, when neither team would’ve had to give up anything. Which means that instead of this, we would almost certainly be talking about “Your defending Champion” Bulls or Clippers.
Instead he stayed. Knowing full well that he was going to take the heat for both Phil and Shaq leaving town, when in fact Buss told him that Shaq was leaving regardless of Kobe’s decision (Something Shaq himself said he believes…) and Phil already told Kobe that he himself wouldn’t be returning the following season. The man went with what was the worst of his three options under circumstances in which he knew he would bear the blame for the lowly state of that franchise. That’s loyalty.
Providing your prize asset some breathing room and a private jet during his trial so he could get back to win you more games and sell more merchandise? That’s just good business. What else were they gonna do? Sit him? Trade him? Ha.
“Kobe shouldn’t disrespect his teammates like that. These are NBA players with pride who can contribute if he’d give them the ball.” -F–k you. Phil called Kwame a pu–y and no one said a word. Then he said that all the team likes to do is watch porn and play video games. Then he said that Jesus Christ himself couldn’t save the Lakers, much less Kobe. Bryant hasn’t said anything close and he certainly hasn’t said anything about his teammates or managment that the media didn’t beat him to already. So why the double standard? Why can everyone else say that this team sucks, yet demand that Kobe make his teammates better? That’s also management’s job.
No matter how much better the front office expected the currently constructed team to get, it’s still clear that this is not a championship roster and that more moves needed to be made. Who was this teams last major acquisition? When Baron Davis was traded for pennies on the dollar and the Lakers didn’t make a move due to injury concerns, fine. But then they passed on Carlos Boozer. Then on Ron Artest. Then on Ron Artest again. Then on Jason F–king Kidd. And every time they had an excuse.
And now it might be too late.
“Kobe has every right to be angry with the Lakers, but his public outbursts only hinder the teams progress team in trying to get him any help, since potential free agents wouldn’t know whether to believe if he’ll be there or not. (*CoughKGCough*) Besides, teams that would’ve taken on a trade not involving him, have been put on two year notice that if they can clear their cap, they could possibly sign him. Which would you rather do?” -You’re cool.
“Michael never would’ve done that”. - And f–k you. Michael wouldn’t what? Berate his teammates? Ha. Demand a trade? If push came to shove he would. So Money was willing to leave the Chi over his long standing feud with Reinsdorf & Krause, but he wouldn’t have demanded a trade? The way the media was wrapped around his finger? C’mon. He didn’t of course, but let’s not act as though it would have been out of character for him. The bottom line is that Kobe Bryant is experiencing what Michael Jordan would have had he continued to lose. Which is why he wants out as soon as possible. Annually carrying a woeful roster beyond reasonable expectations is worth very little when failing to fulfill the medias. And your own.
So when the front office is in absolute chaos and visibly wasting his prime, while he takes the blame for everything, then yeah. He’s gonna complain. A Whole f–king lot. So would Michael. And so would you.
But go ahead and give him hell.
When we should be talking about this. (NSFW!)
I’m out.
68 Responses to “Half Baked/Take THAT Comments Section!”
Oct.31 at 12:15 pm
white hot eboy says:
Kim Kardashian is smoking, and Myles is burning fury. Love it, Myles. Poor MJ is just an innocent bystander in all of this. Catching Myles shrapnel from everywhere.
Oct.31 at 12:18 pm
Reggie Evans says:
I like.
Oct.31 at 12:20 pm
H to the izzo says:
Does this mean you’re quitting Myles?And I need to see those Kim Kardashian pics
Oct.31 at 12:21 pm
Chief says:
Kobe, kobe kobe. I think the 45 points spoke for themselves.
Oct.31 at 12:23 pm
RV says:
Myles, either you misquoted my comment or someone thinks a lot like me, but here’s my complete post: RV says:
i thought he was “rewarded” with millions and millions of dollars……i agree he plays hard and doesn’t get the help, but he’s getting paid very well to do his part and if he signed the dotted line then he needs to deal with it for the length of the contract and then leave. His contract didn’t include a team upgrade as far as i know, so he should have been more careful negotiating it.
Oct.31 at 12:24 pm
Ryan Jones says:
I don’t smoke, and I find that movie hilarious. If it’s even funnier to the potheads out there, it is a truly great movie indeed.
Also: Myles, this person you are defending often comes off as insincere and unlikeable. You do see that, don’t you?
Oct.31 at 12:28 pm
Myles Brown says:
Nah, Im not quitting and I was just paraphrasing RV, nothing personal. I certainly see Kobe’s ‘lesser qualities’ as well, but just because the dude may be unlikable, that doesn’t make him any less right in this situation.
Oct.31 at 12:29 pm
Myles Brown says:
Kinda like how Kim’s a bit of a whore, but that doesn’t make her any less attractive. Physically, at least.
Oct.31 at 12:30 pm
Bryan says:
I defended Kobe, Myles!
Oct.31 at 12:31 pm
H to the izzo says:
Can we agree on this:Both Kobe and MJ were basically assh*les but MJ’s huge achievements and brilliant PR people made it so he was mainly loved while Kobe is just one walking PR disaster after another
Oct.31 at 12:31 pm
Myles Brown says:
Basically.
Oct.31 at 12:34 pm
white hot eboy says:
Izzo, have you met either of the two as*holes? Just curious.
Oct.31 at 12:37 pm
H to the izzo says:
No,which would make me impartial.
Oct.31 at 12:37 pm
RV says:
(assuming you meant my post)I didn’t say he’s a bitch, only a real Kobe-hater would resort to name calling. My comment goes to any player out there signing a long term deal. Unless you’re already in a great situation you should be careful about signing a long term contract. Yes, signing for a long time secures your $$, but, it also secures you being their employee (in good times and bad). I’m sure it came up in negotiations, but doesn’t it with ANY team trying to sign a player? No team is going to say “hey, we want you on our team for 7 years and during that time we’ll try to suck more and more every year”. All teams look to improve and get better. Not every team does. there are no guarantees. Thats something else he must have considered when he re-signed.
Oct.31 at 12:38 pm
James says:
Sick … Kobe is hated by everyone. That is the Main reason he is better than any player to ever play. He takes everyone’s hate and turns into success and determination. I want him to stay with the lake show, he is the true reason people to this day are lakers fans. It would be a sad day in the NBA if he leaves and i will not watch another lakers game if that happened. Stay true kobe!!
Oct.31 at 12:41 pm
RV says:
Sorry, took me a while to press ENTER on that last post….I like Kobe too, but players need listen to themselves, they often say “the league is a business”, so they need to take that into consideration. A rookie mistake is to take things personal or believe everything you hear, take it to heart, but a veteran usually knows better.
Oct.31 at 12:42 pm
jay says:
took the words out of my mouth Myles, after all the articles written about Kobe over the past summer, coming into the season i have yet to read anything positive, but you did the job. I dont say Kobe is the most likeable person ever or is innocent in all this, but he is not wrong either. its a shame he gets on blast for every little thing, while others just kinda get away with it, like it never happened.
Oct.31 at 12:43 pm
Bryan says:
He still gets voted to the all star game every year so he can’t be that hated James.
Oct.31 at 12:48 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
By the way, back in ‘02, I interviewed Dave Chappelle for a Dime Drop and it ended with this:
SLAM: You co-wrote and starred in Half-Baked. Are you a Lamar Odom fan?
DC: Yeah! I love that guy! Yeah, man, can a guy get his weed smoke on, please?
Oct.31 at 1:13 pm
Steve O says:
Where is Russ? Shouldn’t he have reigned fire upon this thread by now? Chris Mihm played like an all-star last night…
Oct.31 at 1:21 pm
Ken H. says:
We need to get JO! I hope those trade talk rumors are true again… I think Bynum’s trade value went up this summer, so if Lakers could land O’neal for Bynum and a couple of other players to make the salaries work, a big 3 of Odom, Kobe and JO could make some serious impact on the West. And is it wrong that I like Kwame Brown and don’t want to see him get traded? I like his defense…:-P
Oct.31 at 1:39 pm
RV says:
Also, i think a big reason for the kobe-hating is the way he acts off the court. He and MJ are very similar in the way they approach the game and play it on the court (but no, I’m not saying Kobe=MJ), the difference is once they step off of it, Kobe tries to say all the right things and be politically correct, while MJ, although not wild with his comments, was more direct and said what he felt, so i think the people who view Kobe as a bitch, its because off the court he’s never the aggressor and lays low and basically lets things happen. MJ would have chewed people out and I guess that earns more respect from fans.
Oct.31 at 1:46 pm
Drew says:
Re: RV’s quote that Kobe “off the court he’s never the aggressor and lays low and basically lets things happen.”
Except of course when he is out here in Colorado.
Oct.31 at 1:48 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
thats great lang. rasheed wallace and damon stoudamire. it had to be done.
Oct.31 at 1:49 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
kobe vs. mj? zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oct.31 at 2:00 pm
Ken H. says:
Last time I checked Kobe didn’t punch Steve Kerr in the face…
Oct.31 at 2:10 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
but he did get punched in the face by chris childs. and stever kerr looks like a child
Oct.31 at 2:11 pm
Rasheedionics says:
Kobe is a black kid who grew up in Italy. Needless to say he struggles with having an identity. Marketing people wants him to be something he’s not and he’s not that good of an actor. So that’s why he never appears authentic or genuine. I know how it feels not being able to fit in because of your background so I kinda feel for him on that front.
Oct.31 at 2:12 pm
white hot eboy says:
Chris Childs is the ultimate male.
Oct.31 at 2:13 pm
white hot eboy says:
Rasheed, you should know that those interesting lead-in comments should be followed by an explanation.
Oct.31 at 2:13 pm
Drolfe says:
He punched someone in the face.. a 4 from memory. Few years ago.
Oct.31 at 2:13 pm
RV says:
Drew, if Colorado isn’t laying low, i dont know what is, MJ would have (and maybe did)picked Vegas or Miami
Oct.31 at 2:14 pm
Drolfe says:
Tell us your story, Rasheed. *leans forward resting chin on palms*
Oct.31 at 2:15 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Myles is my homeboy. Um, on an intellectual level.
Oct.31 at 2:21 pm
jbn74sb says:
I think Rasheed just came out of the closet.
Oct.31 at 2:24 pm
Bigi says:
Amen!
Oct.31 at 2:29 pm
marc81 says:
but did you guys see tweedle dee (luke) and tweedle dumb-ass (kwame) bounce a rebound OFF THE FLOOR and into the rockets basket. lakers lose by two. maybe, just maybe kobe is onto something about his teammates?
Oct.31 at 2:31 pm
Young Chris #3 says:
Myles is a fanboy’s fanboy. The complete opposite of the “Kobe hater” as he sees things as 24 would like him to…
Oct.31 at 2:34 pm
Myles Brown says:
Thanks Russ.
Oct.31 at 2:35 pm
white hot eboy says:
I thought fanboys were only involved in comic book debates.
Oct.31 at 2:38 pm
Bryan says:
Kristen Bell is gonna be in a movie called fanboys..
Oct.31 at 2:42 pm
white hot eboy says:
Shia+Kristen Bell=a nerdy orgasmic creme pie.
Oct.31 at 2:50 pm
Bryan says:
She’s so hot. I won’t say how I spent my weekend.
Oct.31 at 3:20 pm
James says:
Well Bryan, for every 2 people that hate him 10 people love him and will stay with him. Follow him to whatever team he goes. He shows the heart of a champion every game, whether its locking up a defender like “T-Mac”, or hitting Big Turiaf for a dunk, or have to take 35 shots to keep his team in it. Hes hated by few, loved by some, and respected by all.
Oct.31 at 3:26 pm
James says:
By the way, what happened to Kobe in all the SLAM magazines … is SLAM slowly starting to hate too. More Kobe equals better magazine. And lets get an article on Webster and Tyron Lue … anybody feelin’ that?
Oct.31 at 3:27 pm
white hot eboy says:
Shia, Veronica Mars-Season 3 DVD. I’ve seen the commercials. Don’t try to get a pass.
Oct.31 at 3:31 pm
Rasheedionics says:
I dont have time or the type of commitment to get involved in back and forth commentating that you guys engage in… So my little short comments here and there is all I afford right now…
Oct.31 at 3:31 pm
Rasheedionics says:
Bodie, what????
Oct.31 at 3:31 pm
Bryan says:
Busted.
Oct.31 at 3:33 pm
James says:
anybody .. tyron lue … no? lang, brian .. no? .. ok
Oct.31 at 3:34 pm
white hot eboy says:
No sh*t, Shia.
Oct.31 at 3:35 pm
jbn74sb says:
Sheed - I was making an (as per the norm for me) immature crack on your statement that “I know how it feels not being able to fit in because of your background so I kinda feel for him on that front.”
Oct.31 at 3:36 pm
James says:
whats shia?
Oct.31 at 4:03 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
Oct.31 at 4:03 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
awesome
Oct.31 at 4:03 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
Oct.31 at 4:10 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
James: “respected by all”? Yeah, or not.
Oct.31 at 5:13 pm
Tommy Patron says:
“F–k you. Kobe stayed in purple and gold out of loyalty, rather than go to Chicago”—Sure, it wasn’t the fact that the Lakers could pay him more.
Oct.31 at 5:21 pm
James says:
Respected by all, meaning: his game, knob. You have to repsect his game because if you don’t … you will get slapped in the face like how god slapped flava flav
Oct.31 at 7:01 pm
backboard says:
chia, myles, that post was off the chain! Even though i dont agree with some of your points, but - that piece was intense, you could feel the writers frustration and anger. All that with great wording and a half baked twist (and one of my all time favorite scenes)? Definitely one of the better posts ive read in a long time. Just wanted to be known that its appreciated…
Oct.31 at 7:11 pm
backboard says:
nh
Oct.31 at 11:10 pm
JG says:
Nice one, Myles!!
Oct.31 at 11:29 pm
Kadavour says:
great job Myles. James: lmao @ slapped in the face like how God slapped Flava Flav. Why does Peter Vescey have a job? Dude reminds me of Bill O’Reilly (watching NBA TV Gamenight as i go through the threads i missed today)
Oct.31 at 11:52 pm
bootlace says:
Haha love that scene, and nice to see it back in this context.
Nov.1 at 2:55 am
RICK says:
Boo KOBE? Boo your mom for giving birth to you ignant haters,wack a@* so called laker fans.
Nov.1 at 12:01 pm
Sesa says:
Loved the Column. A lot of cussing and finger pointing. Can I get one column too? I promise it’ll be full of inflamatory stuff. Stuff people will be interested to read just like this.
Nov.1 at 3:33 pm
Jake says:
It’s kind of weird that just because Kobe is an “a$$” to the media,everyone thinks that he’s some polarizing figure who hates fans and teammates and wants to make everyone’s life miserable. I know people that have met kobe,lots of people and they all said that he seemed like a nice guy,chatted and signed autographs. Everyone hates on him for scoring so much,but lets be realistic.If he didnt score 30 plus a game,would the lakers have won even 30 games last year?Thats what I thought. The man deserves credit,he’s won the scoring titles,the all star game mvp,all nba honors,all defensive honors, and 3 rings. Meanwhile everyone and their mother is proclaiming Lebron king of the world and riding his a$$ like its a carnival ride. he takes on the scoring load for his team, look where it got him.Playoffs.Same thing with AI before him.I dont blame Kobe for getting pissed off that Buss and the other monkeys in that office cant swing a trade or at least sign a free agent that can do something.
Nov.2 at 6:29 pm
mark s says:
Kobe dropped 45 against the Rockets a record. Check out Kobe Isn’t going to the Bulls section. That will brove that Kobe dosn’t want to get traded.