Number One With A Ballot
Your 2008 NBA All-Star starting lineups.
by Russ Bengtson
I was gonna save this until tomorrow, but why wait?
It seems like every year the NBA conducts the All-Star balloting earlier and earlier. Inevitably, at least one guy who starts hot gets left off the ballot entirely, and somebody who hasn’t even played by the time the voting ends winds up getting named a starter. (One year we ran a corrected and punched ballot in the magazine, but I guess no one noticed.) I used to be bothered by it, but eventually I just learned to accept it. This year I figured I’d pre-empt the whole thing and just announce the 2008 All-Star starters now. You can still vote, of course, but this is a done deal. Trust me.
WEST
C YAO MING: 1.3 billion Chinese can’t be wrong, unless they vote for Yi Jianlian too.
F TIM DUNCAN: He may not be exciting, but fans know an All-Star when they see one.
F CARMELO ANTHONY: His performance in Vegas this summer wins him the coveted “who replaces KG” spot over Dirk “Look Out, It’s The Warriors!” Nowitzki.
G ALLEN IVERSON: Sorry T-Mac, you may want to look into getting listed as a forward.
G KOBE BRYANT: Kobe may be the most polarizing figure in the L, but everyone votes for him anyway.
EAST
C SHAQUILLE O’NEAL: The Dwight Howard Era gets put on hold for one more year.
F KEVIN GARNETT: Hope Chris Bosh enjoyed starting last year, because that might be the last time it happens for a while.
F LEBRON JAMES: You can put a “reserved” sign here until 2023 or so.
G GILBERT ARENAS: Kanye could learn something about self-promotion from Agent Zero—like how to do it without being such a whiner.
G DWYANE WADE: The Vince Carter Memorial “Still Playing Into Shape But Who Cares, At Least I Know His Name” starter.
28 Responses to “Number One With A Ballot”
Sep.20 at 12:14 pm
white hot eboy says:
Nice list, but putting D-Wade in the same sentence as Wince is shameful. The East Squad is rough this year. My money’s on the right coast boys.
Sep.20 at 12:16 pm
Raynman says:
Carmelo over Amare?
Sep.20 at 12:17 pm
Rubens says:
it looks like you’re predicting the futura mr. bengton, now how about those lottery numbers?
Sep.20 at 12:17 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Amare is on the ballot as a center. At least he was last year. Obviously someone at the NBA has it in for him.
Sep.20 at 12:23 pm
H to the izzo says:
Russ is bored today and has just jinxed ten people into injury-plagued seasons.
Sep.20 at 12:45 pm
J.E. Skeets says:
“1.3 billion Chinese can’t be wrong, unless they vote for Yi Jianlian too.” My God, Russ! I hadn’t even thought about it, but this really isn’t that far fetched. In fact, I’ll call it now — Eazy-Yi, 2008 All-Star starter …
Sep.20 at 1:15 pm
Myles Brown says:
Nash?
Sep.20 at 1:34 pm
Matt Caputo says:
Steve Nash actually too
Sep.20 at 1:35 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Over Kobe and Iverson? Not gonna happen.
Sep.20 at 1:38 pm
Myles Brown says:
Over Iverson maybe.
Sep.20 at 1:40 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
It’ll be close probably, but Iverson’ll start. What, you think I’m just making this stuff up?
Sep.20 at 1:42 pm
Myles Brown says:
I know better than to doubt you.
Sep.20 at 3:36 pm
Douce says:
lolsauce
Sep.20 at 4:09 pm
Raynman says:
still think VC only needs 2 sick dunks to start…
Sep.20 at 4:10 pm
Ndn Guy says:
shaq aint gon be a starter
Sep.20 at 4:59 pm
Tarzan Cooper says:
carmelo? really? after they shafted him for a couple years? i hope he starts but damn, i dont know.
Sep.20 at 5:43 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Well, assuming Carmelo gets enough votes, the League can’t do sh*t.
Sep.20 at 7:16 pm
Holiday says:
D-Will or Nash over Iverson for sure! He’s washed up! And honestly set aside the Chinese biast and put Amare in there! H*ll even Baron Davis over Iverson!
Sep.20 at 7:30 pm
David says:
Aren’t the Bucks in the East? Couldn’t we conceivably (be forced to) watch Yi and Yao start?
Sep.20 at 7:48 pm
Free Vick says:
Shaq blows.
Sep.20 at 7:52 pm
Devontae Palmer in dis hoe, watch me crank and watch me roll.SUPERMAN!!!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! says:
Hey, don’t hate on my boy kanye. He has one of the hottest albums out right now! I agree with the whole list. It is the same crap every year. It doesn’t matter if Shaq the fat misses forty games he will still be a starter. The injustices of this world. play wit it.
Sep.20 at 8:08 pm
Mike says:
Please…VC aint getting beat out two years in a row by Gilbert, and DWade is guaranteed to be on the shelf by December anyway…the guy is made out of glass. So due to his injury it will be VC, Gil, LeBron, KG, and Shaq
Sep.20 at 10:58 pm
Adrian Zapata says:
I would love to see Carmelo and Arenas NOT get voted in.
Sep.22 at 3:43 am
j. says:
Naw, Tracy McGrady will get voted in over Allen Iverson, for the same reason he’s been voted in as a starter for the past few years and for the same reason that Yao Ming is a lock - he’s got the backing of the biggest country in the world (being Yao Ming’s teammate…). That, plus, I don’t think Iverson will get as many votes this time as he’s gotten in the past. He’s in the stacked West now, and the votes will be more spread out. True he was in the West last year, but he was actually listed on the Eastern Conference ballot.
Sep.24 at 4:08 am
Joey says:
wheres the love for CP3??? serious whoeva said D-Will ova Paul betta check who won Rook of da year
Sep.24 at 12:22 pm
jj says:
DWill is gonna be a backup PG and CP3 won’t. face it.
Sep.24 at 2:48 pm
ENDSwing says:
U have 2 remember this. The people who vote the most (besides China) are 12 year olds who are on the internet all day doing nothing and only know players like Kobe and AI. Its the equivolent of s high school popularity contest. I think the east gets it right more often, but the system is flawed (what are ya gonna do) Russ hit it right on the money but it wasn’t that hard 2 begin with. Stop putting Dwight as a damn center. Plus that Yi thing is scary thought
Sep.25 at 3:00 pm
mdshuai says:
Uh, it’s been a while since the ROY days of Paul and DWIll; there is no status quo in the NBA, it’s all about the NOW, not the THEN: and for my money, after seeing dude’s play in the playoffs last year, I’d take DWIll over CP3. But it’s a close call.