YES.
Easily the best thing that’s happened all day, if not ever.
This has absolute zero to do with basketball. Sorry. I couldn’t resist.
We all know she’s a stupid, spoiled, talentless whore, and I think most of us would agree that that fact alone doesn’t mean she should go to jail. But I also hope most of us have our eyes wide open enough to understand that there’s a substantial inequity in suffering in this world, and that seeing people like this not getting their way in a very public manner is somehow life-affirming. The suffering scales are tipped, however microscopically, and I feel just a tiny bit better about things.
I hope you do, too.
36 Responses to “YES.”
Jun.8 at 4:20 pm
Esco says:
AMERICA, F*CK YEAH!!!!!!!!
Jun.8 at 4:25 pm
Shiz says:
freedom costs a buck-o-five
Jun.8 at 4:29 pm
Shiz says:
Didnt her lawyers advise her that a plea of no contest is the same as a plea of guilty? U did the crime, biatch, now do the time like everyone else. You cant violate probation and think ur only gonna get off with a 3 day jail sentence. Thats rediculous. I just wonder what the sheriff who made the call to send this bird back home has got to say for himself…in the meantime, I’ll be surfing the web for a “Paris and the Sheriff” video
Jun.8 at 4:30 pm
Tom says:
I can’t believe that article you linked to was able to use that many words to talk about such a stupid story.
Jun.8 at 4:37 pm
Esco says:
That picture accompanying the story is priceless. They should have gotten a clearer shot. I would rather see that b*tch cry than see Grew Gooden’s ducktail. But that’s just my opinion.
Jun.8 at 4:38 pm
Max Airington says:
UPDATE: And since there’s no better source for hard news than third party emails, heres another possible reason Paris was let out yesterday, thanks to the sexy Heather: “My friend’s brother (who works with [Sheriff Lee] Baca’s assistant sheriffs) told me that Paris was released due to a severe, “stress-induced” herpes outbreak. He also said that he heard that the blisters had apparently spread to her anus and had taken on abcess-like features that required more serious medical attention. Thus, after taking into account jail overcrowding, the increasing liability that Paris presents, and Paris’s lesions, all things weighed in favor of her being put on home confinement.”
Jun.8 at 4:39 pm
MagicMike2k7 says:
i do.
Jun.8 at 4:40 pm
Max Airington says:
Sorry, I couldnt resist.
Jun.8 at 4:42 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
She is trying to overshadow the NBA Finals like everything else. And maybe she has felt threatened by the way Lohan/Britney have been upping the ante for brattish behavior.
Paying attention to her and saying her name is the worst thing you can do though.
Jun.8 at 4:58 pm
Detroit11 says:
This is the best news ever!
Jun.8 at 4:59 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Max: Holy f*cking sh*t. Your friend’s brother just made my weekend.
Jun.8 at 5:00 pm
J-Bird says:
beautiful!
Jun.8 at 5:02 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Also, I’m happy to say I don’t know from personal experience, but I’m guessing that’s gotta itch.
Jun.8 at 5:04 pm
illydiva says:
I think this is a Bush plot to devert attention from the war and his shenanigans at the G-8.
Jun.8 at 5:07 pm
illydiva says:
Please!! Does that hag (and the sheriff) think there isn’t worse suffering going on in US prisons? If it’s as bad as the sexy Heather reported, why wasn’t she released (in police custody) to a medical facility. Eff HIPA, the whole world knows she has herpes, no secret there.
Jun.8 at 5:10 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Word, illy, which is why I felt a little guilty even linking to this. But as I go back to my day job now and finishing editing this epic roundtable interview I did on global warming with all these brilliant scientists, I feel like I can negate whatever negative impact I’ve had in encouraging you to read about this wench. At least, I hope so.
Jun.8 at 5:23 pm
Max Airington says:
That’s actually just a quote someone sent me from WWTDD. Cant take credit for it. And I for one am still grateful for Paris. If not for her, would Kim Kardshian even be on my radar?
Jun.8 at 5:28 pm
Dutch Rich says:
@ Mr. Airington. From now on you will officially be dubbed MADMAX.
Jun.8 at 6:59 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Amazing. That just made my life.
Jun.8 at 8:21 pm
CASHVILLE says:
Someone please call me when she drops the soap!
Jun.8 at 8:47 pm
sixthman6 says:
the fact that she was calm during the original sentencing (back when she was supposed to do 40+ days), but acted like she was going to the electric chair this time, tells me she knew all along she was going to get out in 3 days…
Jun.8 at 9:26 pm
Drolfe says:
Anus blisters. Gross.
Jun.8 at 11:29 pm
Cheryl says:
Ewwww…
Jun.9 at 8:34 am
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
That was pretty amazing, Max… Petty and/or banal as it may seem, I agree with you, Ryan. I actually just read about her being sent back to jail a minute ago, and felt a small sense of vindication. It does shine a small ray of hope into the world that the rich, famous and powerful don’t always get their way. (Which, of course, they normally do - this was just an aberration.) Plus, this post (or the comments, rather) had the added benefit of alerting me as well to Kim Kardashian, which was nice.
Jun.9 at 3:04 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I’ve been in a deep depression lately, and this helps. A little.
Jun.9 at 8:40 pm
kabelion says:
Any squares left on the pool of her being shanked or “Beechered”… I want day 14…
Jun.10 at 1:50 am
Chukaz says:
Paris Hilton made a huge mistake and now she is paying for it. She slept with the wrong man. Why would you sleep with the bastard with the least power? If I was her lawyer I would’ve told her to sleep with the judge or even with the entire jury.
Jun.10 at 5:35 am
Gambino says:
I’m just hoping we can get some shots of her new boob job, we’ve all seen the video, and now, I wanna see the new job she got done
Jun.10 at 8:45 am
Boing Dynasty says:
I thought i was safe on SLAMonline. You have abused my trust, and i will never forget this.
Jun.10 at 8:51 am
H to the izzo says:
That judge who gave her a longer sentence is my new hero.Even though she has been the root of all the worlds problems for about the last six years and Ilove seeing her suffer,I hate aknowledging her existence.And Ryan,HA! I knew you cared about Global Warming
Jun.11 at 2:17 am
Klemperer says:
Agreed, Mr. Jones, but I’d have felt even better if she’d been sent to Tent City under the watch of Crazy Joe Arpaio!
Jun.11 at 8:02 am
Ryan Jones says:
That’s a nice thought, Klemperer, except I don’t think the pink underwear would bother her.
Jun.11 at 12:21 pm
Dblizzy! says:
You guys are stupid, she’s still gonna get out of jail eventually and still be richer than everyone on this site, except for me because I’m RICH BIYATCH! She can get the best anus creams money can buy! With that being said, who gives a F*CK??
Jun.11 at 7:13 pm
Klemperer says:
You don’t think wearing underwear bothers her?
Jun.13 at 9:02 am
Joel O's says:
Who cares? Exactly…
Jun.13 at 8:01 pm
jbn74sb says:
The silence around the Roundball Almanac is deafening. Give us your thoughts on the finals, Ryan. If you wait for another LeBron explosion, well, it might be a while…