Orlando at Detroit: Game 2 Recap
Why would you even read this?
By Ryan Jones
I am offended by the predictability of this series.
The Pistons won. The final score is irrelevant, but it was 98-90.
I previously “promised” Detroit would win Game 2 by 19 points; in fact, they led by 15 early in the fourth, but because the Pistons players, beyond getting it over with, care no more about this series than I do, they mostly stopped trying after that. The Magic actually “cut” the lead to six in the last few minutes, but really, to say they cut the lead is inaccurate and offensive; Detroit allowed the lead to be cut.
Also, in the future, any time I “promise” something on this website, assume that I am full of sh*t.
Anyway, as we all know, one sign of a good team is that they can play poorly and still beat a half-decent team. This happened last night. The Pistons weren’t horrible, but they weren’t all that good, either; they shot just 41 percent from the field and allowed the Magic to hit 46 percent of their shots. And of course, it didn’t matter.
What mattered was that most of Orlando’s offensive efficiency came from guys like Hedo Turkoglu (!) and Darko Milicic (!!!), and not from guys like Dwight Howard and Jameer Nelson, who shot a combined 6 of 21. Grant Hill was terrific but inconsequential. Meanwhile, Chauney Billups made every shot he needed to down the stretch, Rip Hamilton made up for a lousy shooting night by hitting 12 of 14 from the line, and Rasheed Wallace was at his ludicrous best at both ends of the floor.
And that’s all I’ve got.
How meaningless is this series? Even Steve Kerr and Marv Albert were joking about it in the fourth quarter last night. I don’t remember it verbatim, but the exchange went something like this:
Marv: “…and the Magic have cut it to SIX.”
Steve: “You never really get the feeling they’ll come all the way back, but at least they’re making it interesting.”
Marv: “Just like they did in Game One.”
Steve: “Right, Marv. And I never got the feeling then, either.”
One of three things will happen in Game 3: Either the Pistons will win by double-digits, or the Pistons will win a deceptively “close” game that will have Orlando fans declaring a meaningless moral victory, or the Magic will win a close game because the Pistons didn’t even bother half-trying. If it’s the third option, there will be brief mumblings about how Detroit could be vulnerable and the Magic have turned this into a series, and Detroit will responding by winning Game 4 by 23 points.
Regardless, you’d be better off reading a book. Good day.
33 Responses to “Orlando at Detroit: Game 2 Recap”
Apr.24 at 11:35 am
Max Airington says:
So then can we just talk about TMac’s sh*tty shot selection last night? And he actually has good players on his team.
Apr.24 at 11:40 am
Max Airington says:
Or how we’ll see three more Michael Jordan’s before we’ll ever see another David Halberstam?
Apr.24 at 11:41 am
Max Airington says:
Or just about how Britney is almost strangely attractive again? Almost.
Apr.24 at 11:41 am
Max Airington says:
I think you get the point.
Apr.24 at 11:51 am
kobehater says:
this series should not be aired or at least they should have put the knicks in there they would have given the Pistons more of a run.
Apr.24 at 12:14 pm
Max Airington says:
You two should get along.
Apr.24 at 12:46 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Who? Me and Britney?
Apr.24 at 12:57 pm
Max Airington says:
Funny. But she does seem pretty um, ‘outgoing’, so maybe.
Apr.24 at 1:46 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Marv Albert’s talents are going to waste on this series.
Apr.24 at 2:15 pm
Mike says:
I have no idea how the NBA execs thought that this and the Cavs series deserved more pub than the Nets-Raps series. I would rather watch Sesame Street than this bullshit…
Apr.24 at 2:27 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Don’t knock Sesame Street, Mike. They had Natalie Portman on as host a while ago. My son and I watched that one a few times.
Apr.24 at 3:00 pm
Big L says:
Magic win game 3 by 6.
Apr.24 at 3:24 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Britney lost weight faster than Sammy Sosa.
Apr.24 at 3:53 pm
Konate says:
Sam, crack is like slim fast express!
Ryan, i saw the episode with my lil cus
Russ, totally agree with you
Apr.24 at 4:54 pm
hot d says:
If you are too lazy to write a recap, why don’t you just admit it instead of bashing both teams. There are actually Magic & Piston fans who enjoy some clever perspective and analysis on this series. Too bad we got stuck with a “writer” who can’t provide any….At least this time we didn’t have to listen to ER stories about your stupid son.
Apr.25 at 10:06 am
Gilbert0 says:
hot d, you could make your point without personal insults
Apr.25 at 11:35 am
Decs says:
yer hot d, your actually a pretty big asshole for bringing his son into it, thats like kicking another man in the nuts, just dont go there. plus its hard to find “clever perspective and analysis” on a series that no one is excited about.
Apr.25 at 11:53 am
H to the izzo says:
Hot D saying something like that about someones child is a very quick way of getting your ass kicked,this series doesn’t really deserve “clever perspective and analysis”.
I’ve watched Nascar ahead of this painfully predictible series,its the garbage time of the playoffs
Apr.25 at 2:02 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Small men made large by anonymity — of all the internet’s contributions to society, only free porn is better and more widespread.
Apr.25 at 2:05 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Oh, and Gil, Decs & Izzo — your decency is appreciated.
Apr.25 at 4:28 pm
hot d says:
Yes, I am an asshole, this is not news to me…Look, I don’t care about his kid..just like I don’t care about Lang’s dog, Sam’s obsession with Dipset or any other writer’s personal musings. But if you wade through all the “blogger” BS, there is usually some decent, insightful basketball content in the other columns. Just because you don’t like the two teams you were assigned doesn’t give you the right to mail it in at the expense of your readers. I understand it’s not the most exciting series, but isn’t a writer’s job to make the mundane seem interesting? Hell, an entire article about Rip’s rapidly receding hairline and the resulting impact on his jumper would have been better…at least it would be relevant to the series.
Apr.25 at 4:59 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Ah, that more than justifies it, then. Next time you should make fun of my dead grandparents, too — then I’ll try extra-hard!
Apr.25 at 5:22 pm
hot d says:
Justify what?…. I’m explaining why I think you have done a crappy job on your recaps so far. Maybe your dead grandparents and my dead grandparents can get together write a recap of the next game together. Hopefully it won’t start with the phrase “Why would you even read this?”
Apr.25 at 5:51 pm
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
Hot D**k, you seem to be in need of a personality transplant, quick-ish. May I suggest something from the ever-popular Olsen Twins Line - even that would be an improvement. And Jonesy: sorry you had to be assigned to this series when there’re some actually non-dead-boring series being played… But here’s a thought: what happens when the Pistons run into the red-hot Bulls after having coasted through this series? I say they’ll be shell-shocked at least for the first two games, after which it will already be too late.
Apr.25 at 5:53 pm
Ryan Jones says:
You don’t warrant an explanation, let alone a thoughtful one, but I’m feeling frisky, so I’ll humor you. Tell me something: If the NBA expanded the playoffs to allow each and every team into the postseason, and expanded each round to 15 games, would you still think every series was worthy of thoughtful analysis? Would you really want an in-depth breakdown of Game 8 of Pistons-Hawks? Is it beyond your comprehension that just because the League (a business above and beyond ALL else) deems it necessary to put 16 out of 30 teams into the playoffs, AND makes each first-round series best of seven, we as fans and media don’t need to treat them with equal respect if they don’t demand it? There is literally NOTHING to imply this series is anything other than a formality, and I’m covering it as such. If you don’t like that, then you can (stay with me here) CHOSE NOT TO READ IT. But simply shutting the f*ck up wouldn’t be enough for you, because it’s so much cooler to hide behind a lame nickname and talk sh*t on a toddler. Nice work.
Apr.25 at 5:54 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Slobo, I’ma hold off to see if Miami doesn’t pull a Lazarus like they did against Dallas last year. If not, I’ll definitely chime in on Round 2.
Apr.25 at 7:49 pm
hot d says:
This website is also a business above and beyond ALL else. It is here to entice customers (us) to buy your magazines, bottom line. Why would you not want to put your best foot forward to push your product? I agree this series is a formality, but covering it as such is a cop out. I’m not a jounalist by any means, but there are so many more creative ways to do this.Why not talk about …the Pistons blatant disregard for their coach and the impact it will have later in the playoffs….. or Jammer Nelson’s sudden regression to someone who will be kicking around Europe in the next couple years….or even Detroit’s contract situation and how much longer this team will be able to stay together with no youth in sight. These were all thoughts running through my simpleton mind while watching game 2. I was hoping someone with your basketball background would come up with something a little more thought provoking than “This series sucks, why is anybody even watching???”
As a long time customer of Slam and this website, I feel I have a right to voice my opionon when a product is sub-standard. If you chose to call that sh*t talking and can’t provide any rational reason for a half-hearted recap other than “this series is meaningless”…well, thats on you and your journalistic intergrtity.
Apr.25 at 8:34 pm
Dennard C says:
Dang, some of these commenter’s(I am looking at you hot d) have some personal issues.
Apr.25 at 10:26 pm
Ryan Jones says:
No one questions my integrtity.
Apr.25 at 11:19 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Also, I spoke to Sam, and he confirms that anyone unhappy with the content on this website can get a full refund.
Apr.25 at 11:36 pm
Ryan Jones says:
You know, if you feel like we’re not giving you your money’s worth…
Apr.26 at 4:48 pm
Dennard C says:
Slam mag, slam online, slam anything is da shit, some of you peeps need to stop hatin’
Apr.27 at 12:12 am
Decs says:
hot d, no one is questioning your right to voice your opinion, but it becomes shit talking when you make it personal, which in case your too much of an idiot to realise, you have done. this is why you are now universally hated on this page. also, you complain about this not being a quality recap, but then go an proceed to give options to make it more interesting that have nothing to do with the actual games, THATS NOT A RECAP DUDE! get your mind right.