SLAM LAST UPDATED » May 16, 2008 at 5:09 pm

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007  |  72 Comments

Tony Parker Is Better…

…than your favorite rapper’s favorite rapper!

by Marcel Mutoni

What we have here is a Tony Parker rap video. Y’all ain’t ready!


Let’s grade this sucker:

Thumbs Up

-Eva sucking on a lollipop. That made my pants feel funny.

-The fact that Tony says “boom boom”. That slayed me for some reason.

-The whole thing is in French.

Thumbs Down

-The creepy kid in the limegreen shirt at the beginning of the clip.

-The beat. Just awful.

(Thanks to Skeets for digging this up.)

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72 Responses to “Tony Parker Is Better…”

Mar.7 at 1:07 pm

Ryan Jones says:
Le dope!

Mar.7 at 1:12 pm

Drer says:
Bonjour..oh lala..I bet cha Eva loves sucking lollipops alright!

Mar.7 at 1:13 pm

Jpolk says:
Le crapola

Mar.7 at 1:15 pm

Jpolk says:
now if greg pop got a hold of this he’d ride the bench… better yet he should have put pop in it

Mar.7 at 1:15 pm

Drer says:
Why isn’t Timmy Duncan in the video showing us some of those robotic moves?

Mar.7 at 1:38 pm

Kevin Wilson says:
I can’t speak French, but I have a feeling this translates into PopoZao.

Mar.7 at 1:45 pm

mutoni says:
i speak french, but that was gawd awful. then again, i think all french hip hop sounds bad, so i’m prolly not the best person to ask.

Mar.7 at 2:02 pm

AP says:
why was it so short?…one verse and the hook multiple times?!?

Mar.7 at 2:04 pm

AP says:
well mutoni dont know if can classify them under hip hop but les nubians are pretty good…although i think they are from senegal not france..and they are more neo-soul
but i kinda like MC Solaar….a french rapper

Mar.7 at 2:09 pm

Bertrand Metton says:
I do speak french indeed. Compared to the lyrics, the beat is a masterpiece… People make fun of it
over there, check this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJAap7u3pIM

Mar.7 at 2:09 pm

mdshuai says:
that sucked.

Mar.7 at 2:33 pm

Clockwork says:
not a fan of French rap in general, but anyone who’s into hip hop should check out NTM and IAM (THE classics of french rap). Tony Parker’s video on the other hand is horrible.

Mar.7 at 2:43 pm

SK says:
I kept waiting for Ginobli to come flailing through the crowd and draw a foul.

Mar.7 at 3:00 pm

DBlizzy! says:
Like…. he’s really trying to be a rapper. Anybody seen the one he has with Fa-bo-lo-us? lol Timbot is actually in that one, playing ball though. Damn Eva Longoria is sexy, I can’t even explain it!!!

Mar.7 at 3:01 pm

Mike says:
He should have gotten Matt Bonner in there bustin some moves. Anybody see him dancing in the Raptors intro video last year?? Epic!

Mar.7 at 3:12 pm

Niles says:
Tony Parker

Mar.7 at 3:52 pm

thesubwayconnection says:
Anyone else think that he gets a pass on his rap thing because it’s in French?

Mar.7 at 4:01 pm

Hoffa says:
This thing sucked. However, Tony Parker is an All-Star with multiple rings and he gets to put his peepee into one of the hottest women on the planet. He gets a pass.

Mar.7 at 4:08 pm

Kene says:
…hmmn, maybe its cause i don’t understand what he’s saying but i actually didn’t think it was that horrible. My revised ranking of rapper-athletes
1.Shaq
2.Tony Parker
3.A.I
4.Deion
5.Artest
6.Kobe ps:…keep in mind that Shaq would rank below Master P on my real rapper scale. pps:…this was supposed to be a top 10 list, but after no.6 i almost my will to live.

Mar.7 at 4:10 pm

Kene says:
…drat…that was supposed to be ‘almost lost’….we need an edit button in this place like Britney needs Rogaine.

Mar.7 at 4:17 pm

Ben says:
Can´t stop DIRK!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghgM5Ta-4lw lol

Mar.7 at 4:37 pm

Ryan Jones says:
Kene, why are you fronting on T.Hud?
http://www.hiphopclub.biz/artist/thud06.html

Mar.7 at 4:44 pm

Bryant Reeves says:
did that girl at the end have glow in the dark boobies?

Mar.7 at 4:45 pm

TrippleX says:
that kid in the green shirt is actually a famous french rapper….

Mar.7 at 5:02 pm

dez says:
if TP’s so popular in France, why would he do this video? wouldn’t it just lower his approval rating?
This vid lowered my approval rating for TP, the Spurs, and France in general.

Mar.7 at 5:05 pm

mutoni says:
i didn’t realize parker was a political figure, dez.

Mar.7 at 5:46 pm

albie1kenobi says:
feels like… a promo/intro video. maybe they should play this before a spurs game?

Mar.7 at 5:47 pm

dez says:
I didn’t realize parker was a rapper. and after watching that vid..I still dont

Mar.7 at 5:55 pm

Harlem World says:
(1) Why would he do this?
(2) Why would she let him do this?
(3) Why would his pops let him do this?
(4) Why would France let him do this?
(5) Why would he do this?
(6) Why?

Mar.7 at 5:56 pm

Harlem World says:
I would never let him score on me again after this. Ever.

Mar.7 at 6:21 pm

IC3 says:
sounds like a french version of pitbull, which makes pitbull sound great compared to this. shocking. maybe john brown could sign him to ghetto revival

Mar.7 at 8:07 pm

Simon says:
I like the bit at the end where it says “share” and “watch again”…

Mar.7 at 8:57 pm

1hush D says:
where did Tony get his 5 o’clock shadow implant anyway? I think I want one of those.

Mar.7 at 9:00 pm

doug says:
C de la MERDE

Mar.7 at 10:31 pm

namik says:
Did he really compare himself to MJ or something??? AND shoutout the DJ?? And saying something like “Tony Parker be the man” while popping his collar? Goddamn….I dont know how to feel about all that. Way to pimp your OH TP.

Mar.7 at 10:39 pm

Taj Johnsom says:
When’s MC Ginobli coming out

Mar.7 at 11:34 pm

beantownz finest says:
hez wack

Mar.7 at 11:52 pm

Dblizzy! says:
1hush D, I think I saw TP clean shaven before, to start the game, but by the middle of the second quarter the shadow was back…

Mar.7 at 11:53 pm

TrippleX says:
IC3.. pitbull is ok man lol. Ying Yang Twins - Shake feat Pitbull is a sick song to warmup to in basketball. TP is a lot better than the other rappers - kobe, artest… but still.. atletes shud stick with what they do best.

Mar.7 at 11:59 pm

M.K. Petrik says:
English side useless . . must . . read French side . . Le Grille? What the hell is that!

Mar.8 at 12:32 am

regnuoy says:
Moi je parle le francais, et cet video etait horrible je pense que Tony Parker doit concentrait sur le ballon panier et pas les chansons. Aussi, Steve Nash pour MVP!

Mar.8 at 3:11 am

Froggiestyle says:
Balance-toi bébé! Feel zee groove. n’importe quoi

Mar.8 at 4:42 am

t2c.waf says:
I’m a French B-ball & Hip Hop lover for more than 15 years now so I can tell Marcel Mutoni that there’s a lot of talent in the French Hip Hop mvt but it’s the same problem as in the USA:
95% of the mainstream Hip Hop is just straight up wack crap & as almost everybody say in the comments TP is no exception!
This shit is a weak lazy marketed talentless product! & if TP makes a full LP, the latest Ron Artest album will look like it’s GZA’s “Liquid Swords” (Holla at you Sam’ron)!

Mar.8 at 5:43 am

J R says:
that was awesome

Mar.8 at 11:19 am

Terry says:
Park sucks

Mar.8 at 11:54 am

Emry DowningHall says:
Didn’t he do a song with Fabolous as well? What a beating!

Mar.8 at 11:57 am

dre says:
mr. bean doing it big

Mar.8 at 2:16 pm

Lazy Lew says:
hip hop aint dead, its a zombie

Mar.8 at 2:22 pm

KA says:
needs more robot tim and flailing ginobili

Mar.8 at 4:17 pm

Tony Parker says:
hey people, seems you didn’t like my video that much..well, fuck off…and peace to Kene; yea Shaq’s good, but we both better than Master P…aight peace

Mar.8 at 7:55 pm

Noyd says:
Even Horry can’t swoop in at the last second and save this thing…

Mar.9 at 1:15 am

Adam says:
Les Miser-BALLIN’

Mar.9 at 1:47 am

Bek says:
Ha Ha Ha… Damn, He could’ve Been better off dissin Shaq.. In French…

Mar.9 at 9:58 am

niQ says:
lol. so i assume every music vid he does from now on will feature eva hahaahah…

Mar.9 at 10:50 am

Alain says:
I’m French, but did not get a word of his song. This was wack. Anyways, TP has a 15-year-old mind. This is nothing other than an act to show off what he’s got and what money can buy (directly or not) : babes (ok, his is really hot, but then, showing your girl in videos, man… how old are you again ?), big cars, champagne, parties, fake music producers/rappers friends. I wonder how Pop does with this immature kid. Cause he can play for sure. But that does not excuse him. Now how can we state that Mutoni’s wrong with his comments on French Hip Hop ?
I’m sorry for France, this is wrong, OK, but compared to the tons of shit that come out of the US charts everyday, it’s as brilliant as any other wannabe pop/R&B/Hip-hop “artist”.
TP go back to the court, please…

Mar.9 at 11:18 am

Shiz says:
I really hate myself for watching this garbage on the anniversary of Biggie’s death…I need to be flogged with a cat-o-nine-tails just for appeasing my own curiosity…Sacre Bleu! didn’t we learn anything from Dana Barros?!

Mar.9 at 11:58 am

bigmike407 says:
On the anniversary of Big’s death, this should not even be up for discussion. I saw one of his other videos, and his rap needs help. If you need a ghostwriter in English, Tony, holla at me. I’ll hook you up for cheap. Another thing: who puts their fiance in a video? I don’t care how fine she is, with the perception of video chicks these days, my girl is not gonna be in the video, no matter how she looks. And mine is definently video-worthy.

Mar.9 at 4:43 pm

Keith says:
That Dirk clip on youtube just cost him MVP.

Mar.9 at 6:09 pm

jay says:
well eva looked hot..holla at that!

Mar.9 at 10:34 pm

Hardcore baller OG says:
Hey dawg, this joint is groovy!

Mar.9 at 11:21 pm

Mike says:
Horrible! Eva Longoria is looking sexy though!!

Mar.9 at 11:46 pm

james underwood says:
lost all respect

Mar.10 at 7:53 am

Ryu says:
This video sucks harder than the 3 stripes in Wade’s hair.

Mar.10 at 8:31 am

bigjos3 says:
la Tony P Family…lache le micro et reprend ton ballon sucker

Mar.10 at 7:32 pm

Brooke says:
He already sucks at basketball. He didn’t need to embarrass himself more with this video. Poor Eva, I don’t know why she sticks around.

Mar.10 at 7:32 pm

Brooke says:
He already sucks at basketball. He didn’t need to embarrass himself more with this video. Poor Eva, I don’t know why she sticks around.

Mar.12 at 9:52 am

evan says:
ARGGHHHH…. It’s just HORRIBLE !!!!

Mar.13 at 6:07 am

falbala says:
I’m french and i can say to you that here in france tony parker is just recognized by the media. By them everyone has is unaware of him.
He has just 11 year old mind… like a kid and many people makes mockeries of him because he is ridiculous in the interviews.
And especially he is very pretentious… and very selfish during the games !!!

Mar.18 at 1:40 pm

Kassia Gilmore says:
So what if he has an a 11 year old mind that was cool

Mar.18 at 4:03 pm

kassia Gilmore says:
So what if he has an 11 that was cool go head tony do your thing

Apr.4 at 8:49 pm

Michael says:
I think the girl in the video that he is whispering in her ear is absolutely gorgeous. Anyone else think so?

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