Quick Shots: Starbury, Agent Zero, Content Catcher, “The Hills”
The rest is still unwritten.
OK, so things have finally slowed down a touch around here today. Late last night I finished the second feature I had to write for this issue of SLAM, so no more multi-thousand-word missives for me. At least not for a day or so.
Anyway, I wanted to get some random thoughts posted here today in between work around the office…
1) Snow
Growing up in the Dirty we used to get snow maybe once a year. It would snow about one inch, and they’d shut down the schools for a week and all the grocery stores would sell out of bread and milk. Obviously, people down south weren’t handling it all that well. Here in NYC, it snows all the time and everyone just pretends it hasn’t snowed at all. Like today, when I woke to find everything coated. Big deal. Go to work.
2) The Adam Morrison Contest
I had to shut down the comments because you guys were killing it. And also because we hit our time limit. The coments are now being analyzed by people who are great at analyzing contests in order to select a winner. I’ll post that later, and when I do we’ll launch part two of the giveaway. Overall, great work, peoples.
3) “The Hills”
I went to the Sonics/Knicks game last night to catch up with a few Linkstigators on the Sonics, and one of the Seattle 
players — and I don’t want to throw him under the bus so I won’t say who told me this, although his name is Nick Collison — admitted that he loves “The Hills.” And so do I.
The first season sucked, because it focused on Lauren Conrad and her lump of a boyfriend, Jason. But LC finally dumped Jason (who isn’t taking it well, apparently), and this season has been tremendous. LC and her BFF/roomate Heidi have been pried apart by Heidi’s boyfriend Spencer, and there were about three episodes in a row where it was pretty much all-out war. During this stretch, LC did her best to tell Heidi to step it up, that she was better than Spencer. But Heidi chose Spencer, leading us into three weeks of pure hell. Spencer has become a wedge between the girls, as now they do nothing but fight, and this is possibly the most exciting viewing on TV right now. For instance, last week another friend got involved by making out with one of Lauren’s ex-boyfriends, leading to this exchange:
Lauren: Tell me the truth, did she make out with him?
Heidi: Yes.
Lauren: Bitch!
This week’s episode was calmer, as the producers had to move the story along, but scenes from next week’s show again looked terrific.
After we stood there in the Sonics locker room discussing “The Hills” for a while, the unnamed player (Nick Collison) laughed and said, “Isn’t it kind of weird that we’re standing around here talking about the lives of these teenagers?”
I thought about that for a second and responded, “No.”
And the unnamed player (Nick Collison) agreed.
(To his credit, Nick says his favorite show on TV right is “30 Rock.” Mine, too.)
4) “Stars On Stars”
Sam admitted this morning that he actually enjoys watching the Knicks play — by the way, what’s more embarrassing, liking the Knicks or The Hills? — and he bemoaned Steph missing the game-tying free throw. And sure, that was a downer.
But what about the debut this Friday of “Stars on Stars,” Stephon Marbury’s new talk show? It will feature Starbury conducting one-on-one interviews with stars including Vijay Singh, Spike Lee, Kobe Bryant, Michael Rappaport and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Personally, I can’t wait. Just gotta make sure I know how to turn on the subtitles.
5) Content Catcher
For as long as I’ve worked at SLAM, getting massive amounts of spam mail has been an integral part of my life. It was not uncommon for me to arrive at the office in the morning and log in to my work email and find over 200 emails waiting for me; of those, roughly 198 would be junk mail. If I wasn’t so cynical, by now I should be celebrating, because according to those emails I’ve won lotteries in Europe and been the beneficiary of unknown relatives in Africa dying and leaving me millions of dollars, hundreds of times over.
Anyway, dealing with the spam became a regular and permanent part of my life, like the Hawks sucking and the Braves losing in the postseason. There’s no telling how many legitimate emails I accidentally deleted over the last seven years, but I had to chalk that up to the cost of doing business as SLAM.
Then last weekend we all received an email from the tech support staff here at work telling us that they’ve installed a new system called Content Catcher on our email system. Basically, it’s a filter, so any email that comes to me from an address that I haven’t preapproved goes to a holding website. I’m supposed to go to that website a few times each day and sift through what’s there and see whether or not there’s any legit mail waiting.
Well, this isn’t a great idea, because I’m pretty sure I now spend more time sifting through the mail on the other site than I did deleting junk mail. And if I’m not vigilant about it, real mail that I’m actually waiting to arrive will sit there idling for hours. Doesn’t this defeat the purpose of a spam filter? At least we know it’s really catching content.
6) So my work phone just rang and the following conversation happened:
“This is Lang.”
“Er…um…Whitaker?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s Gilbert.”
Gotta love Agent Zero. Can’t tell you why he called, but you’ll read about it soon enough. And I can’t shake the feeling that I was Dan Steinberg, I probably could have made that previous paragraph into a 500-word blog entry.
7) On the Ron Ron front, the 911 tapes have been released and are online here. The woman, presumably Ron’s wife, seems oddly calm throughout. I think the most interesting part of all of this is the admission that 911 has been called from the Artest house five times since November. Did the Kings know about this? Why wasn’t something done sooner?
8) Love the new ESPN.com corrections page. Got it bookmarked and everything. My favorite entry:
“In a March 5 story on ESPN Radio’s Mike and Mike in the Morning, it was reported that the Detroit Lions did not have a representative at Sunday’s Brady Quinn workout. According to the Lions’ public relations staff, the team had four coaches, two scouts and one front office executive at the workout.”
Whoops!
Anyway…back to work…
37 Responses to “Quick Shots: Starbury, Agent Zero, Content Catcher, “The Hills””
Mar.7 at 5:37 pm
jbn74sb says:
In actually relevant NBA news, Kobe has been suspended by the league for tonights game for letting Jaric’s face run into his elbow on a jumpshot.
Mar.7 at 5:45 pm
dez says:
Relevant NBA news? Lets not get crazy, this is SLAM…and apparently a ‘The Hills’ fan site
Mar.7 at 5:51 pm
Mike says:
Is it just me, or does this happen to everyone? Every time I submit a response and get the “your comment is awaiting moderation”, my comment never posts and disappears into some Internet recycle bin.
Mar.7 at 5:56 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
If Kobe was on The Hills, he’d be Brody.
Mar.7 at 6:00 pm
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
Lots of good stuff there, never mind Dez. And speaking of The Hills, here’s a fabulously snarky article on the show that Simmons called “life-altering”: http://men.style.com/details/features/landing?id=content_5346
Mar.7 at 6:06 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
What, you guys really want to read something I write about Kobe?
Mar.7 at 6:33 pm
Julian says:
i actually looked forward to some excoriating comment on Kobe’s getting suspended by the L a second time for catching someone in the face after his shot was blocked towards the end of a game. seriously though, didnt we decide last time that it was accidental? kobe always does that when he’s either fouled or blocked. its just something that happened during the course of the game and should’ve been left at that. the NBA made the same mistake twice. fun times.
Mar.7 at 6:37 pm
Chris says:
I’d love to make fun of you for watching the Hills but dammit I can’t stop watching the show either. I’m just fascinated by their stupidity. What do you think about Two-A-Days, do you watch it? do you think a high school basketball show would work?
Mar.7 at 6:39 pm
Tom Jackson says:
It’s funny how they respond to all this other stuff but when three people raise very articulate, intelligent questions about why their issues contain 45 day old material when they hit the stands and then are further post dated about 60 days, no one says a thing. That’s sad man, I didn’t think they’d just ignore us like that. Why have these comments if it’s just respond when you have something cool or witty to say back? That’s some female shit, to me.
Mar.7 at 6:41 pm
mutoni says:
ladies and germs, allow me to welcome tom jackson to the “needs a hug and a cigarette” club.
Mar.7 at 6:41 pm
jbn74sb says:
I think Tom Jackson and Tim Hardaway would get along.
Mar.7 at 6:43 pm
jbn74sb says:
Lang - knowing your takes on Kobe (hater!), it seems that you would peg him as Spencer, rather than Brody. Wait, I think I just admitted to not only watching The Hills, but also knowing those involved. Never mind…
Mar.7 at 6:49 pm
Tom Jackson says:
Yeah, yeah, just be further evasive and vague, trying to just shoot down the question with a “cool guy” insult. I subscribed to SLAM for years, but hell by the time it gets to your house it’s been on at the store for a week, or longer. Like that guy said yesterday, you’re reading stuff in January about the beginning of the season in a magazine marked March. This is supposed to be, to me, THE nba magazine, and yet they have stories from the season beginning getting to us in January?? Yeah, you’re right, I’m just being a prima donna, that’s a stupid point.
Mar.7 at 6:50 pm
Tom Jackson says:
Also, Lang, I think you should have replied to Zero by saying, “Er, um.. Arenas?” Just to see what his reaction would have been.
Mar.7 at 6:52 pm
jbn74sb says:
Jaric’s take: “I haven’t seen the replay, but if you ask me what I thought about the play when it happened, I don’t think he did it intentionally, and I don’t think players should be suspended for things that happen unintentionally,” Jaric told ESPN.com. “I think he was trying to draw a foul, and he swung his hand out to make it look dramatic, and he hit me by accident. He apologized right after.”
Mar.7 at 6:54 pm
DBlizzy! says:
Hey Tom I feel your pain, I read that comment yesterday and thought the same thing, but I guess “our daily look at everything bball” includes ranting some dumb reality show that has nothing to do with basketball, but ironically too many of you guys care about. Losers!
Mar.7 at 6:56 pm
DBlizzy! says:
With that being said, Lang I hope you will still consider me for the Morrisson Tshirt contest, my enrty was quite funny if I do say so myself.
Mar.7 at 6:56 pm
Tom Jackson says:
“I have a lot in common with Katelyn Faber” Jaric would go on to not say later.
Mar.7 at 6:59 pm
Tom Jackson says:
Nah I don’t mind the non-basketball content. Lang always lays down something dope about something random, I’ve been following dude for 6 years on here, no one does it better. Even when he talked about soccer he made me interested.
Mar.7 at 6:59 pm
DBlizzy! says:
I thought by them NOT suspending Lebron (when he clotheslined Dwade), the NBA was admitting it’s mistake the first time. So how does Kobe get suspended again. Has he really lost that much star power to these young guys?
Mar.7 at 7:05 pm
DBlizzy! says:
I just saw the replay, he does that sh*t so naturally, like it’s part of his jumpshot follow-thru. There’s no way it’s an accident, but suspension????
Mar.7 at 7:24 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Tom, about the dates on the magazines…oops, phone’s ringing, gotta go!
Mar.7 at 7:52 pm
Harlem_World says:
If you want daily news, get a daily newspaper.
Mar.7 at 7:56 pm
mdshuai says:
Does it really matter that much what the date on the magazines are? the content you read would be just as good, albeit months old, whatever the month says; and you get the right number of issues by subscribing, it is really that big a deal? Now the old content thing sucks, but that’s the problem with every magazine in the world: it’s all old compared to the super technologically advanced world of the web and blogs and all those other things that frighten me…
Mar.7 at 8:04 pm
allenp says:
Nah, Tom has a good point. Slam is ahead of the curve in breaking stuff about players in the mag, but by the time it hits the newsstands everybody has caught up. Y’all figure out who will blow up early, but we don’t read about until they actually blow up.
Mar.7 at 8:30 pm
jbn74sb says:
Who reads magazines except while sitting on the toilet these days anyway? I mean besides my grandpa.
Mar.7 at 9:37 pm
A says:
more from the sonics / knicks game last night…Q Tip was in the Jay Z seats wearing ugg boots. To make things worse, his boy had matching boots. Lang, when did it become ok for blokes to wear ugg boots? Aren’t they more for the girls like the one’s on the Hills? Sad
Mar.7 at 9:59 pm
Tom Jackson says:
sooo funny… that’s okay I just think it’s cool when Lang talks to me. so I’m pretty much good and have now renewed my subscription.
Mar.7 at 11:36 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
It’s never okay for men to wear ugg boots. Never. As for the timeliness of the mag, well, that probably deserves an entire post. I’ll try to write that for tomorrow.
Mar.8 at 1:33 am
Nine XXVI says:
Why you people watch that bullshit of The Hills (and MTV in general) is simply beyond me.
Mar.8 at 2:54 am
Mehmet says:
Ugg boots for men? That’s too much for me. Damn I still hate to see a man wearing a flip-flop! But I imagine people were saying it was never okay for a woman to wear jeans 100 years ago. Everything is becoming unisex. And what about those crocs? Even if I had to wear them in the bathroom I’d think twice, then I’d probably go bare foot. They’re that ugly.
Mar.8 at 7:40 am
Dirk_Fan!!! says:
Kobe gets suspended again for flailing out his elbow and hitting someone in the face. I don’t think it warrants a suspension, but he takes the risk.
BUT… did you see Shaq nearly killing Marvin Williams (the part he didn’t kill by himself) career in that game against Atlanta.
Don’t tell me he had a chance to get the ball. He never lets someone have the chance to dunk on him. Everybody knows it. So it was intentionally and if a 350pound guy stops someone while in the air, there could have been serious damage. But hey, it’s Shaq. Who cares! Better suspend Kobe for at least trying to draw a foul!
Man, this guy can do no right!
Mar.8 at 12:52 pm
Cub Buenning says:
Lang, remember that all of us at SLAM are “kobe haters.”
TJ, love how you slipped that KFaber line in there.
As a Tribe diehard Q?!?! Uggs are just not OK for us men. Flip-flops though are more than cool. Memo, i’ve never heard that thought ever expressed! Kobe and KG should be lucky they didn’t get 15. Melo should probably now change his number…. it’s jinxed. Was what Melo did really 15 times worse than KG? I say give the Big Ticket that many just for having bad aim!
Mar.8 at 3:52 pm
Wizfan says:
tell about gil
Mar.8 at 4:00 pm
Joey Crawford says:
Lang, give the Content Catcher some time. I have a similar system set up with my Hotmail account and I only get mail from people in my address book or those that I approve. It’s a whip up front, bro, but once it is tweaked out right, you will love the amount of non-spam that you receive.
Mar.8 at 4:32 pm
Big L says:
The Hills?! Lang, you have officially lost your Cool Ambassador label and have absolutely no merit to judge TV. You should talk to Shavlik Randolph about your gayness. The Hills?! Do you TiVo The View also?
Mar.10 at 12:49 am
vinny says:
people at slam watch the hills?
has any played graw 2 and def jam icon yet there the best damn games ever. you get to manage mike jones,MIKE JONES!