55 Comments Thursday, February 15th, 2007
Getting My Vegas On
Khalid Salaam. Ready.
By Khalid Salaam
Being that the NBA All-Star Weekend is usually the most outrageous example of sustained debauchery that takes place in any given year, most people who go understand that and go in with sort of a gameplan. However being that All-Star Weekend is taking place in Las Vegas, a place that proudly wears its “Sin City” tag it seems that there is high probability that something crazy is going to happen. There are just too many variables to account for to have a real idea of what to expect.
For one thing, people are going to be determined to party harder than maybe they ever have. Jokers have been planning for this the moment the word came down from the League. There had been rumors about Vegas getting a franchise and/or being awarded an All-Star game that were legit enough for us to do a City Game article on LV in which we asked local authorities about the feasibility of it happening. Those in the city seemed to think that it was happening so when I found out, I wasn’t totally blown. But once the public caught wind of the situation I got about 20 emails and phone calls in the next 24 hours in which every person said something in several variations of “ this sh— is gonna be crazy!!”
So now that it’s here you can sense the energy building. It’s like an adult spring break, a 21st century Freaknik even. Whatever you want to call it, the odds say that this will either be the greatest weekend ever or the worst. There isn’t any middle ground. Sam, Ben, Lang and I will be out there partaking and working (not sure in what order though). I assume all the hookers and groupies will be there of course but we’re also talking a record number of opportunists, hustlers, straight stick-up kids, scantily dressed females who you’ll confuse as hookers but later find out to be businesswomen trying to drum interest in their internet company, people complaining about traffic, cab drivers trying to pay their next three months mortgage by inflating prices, cops being over aggressive, next level weaves, white girls fawning over every well dressed black guy who they think might have paper, black girls seeing this and hating until they realize that those dudes aren’t dudes they want anyway, quite possibly someone getting literally knocked the F out and then having to stay the rest of the weekend trying to pretend he can’t tell people are laughing at him, fake industry dudes who will rock fake evisu’s and af 1’s with no shame, real dudes who will rock the real stuff and think they are special because of that, crazy long lines to get into clubs, bouncers having a field day whooping peoples asses once they get outta line, at least 1 fight each day between some dude who is pissed that some celebrity tried to take his girl, several hurling instances, Dj’s bringing out the best in our inner dancing machines and several moments of being stopped and asked if you want to buy some exclusive gear. And the All-Star Game as well. Can you tell that I’m excited?
This entry was posted on Thursday, February 15th, 2007 at 2:12 pm and is filed under NBA, Columnists, Fear of a Black Editor, All-Star 2007. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
55 Responses to “Getting My Vegas On”
Feb.15 at 2:36 pm
Cheryl says:
Keep us posted. You gonna post everyday?
Can’t wait to hear if some of this goes down or not. Funny sh*t, especially the white girls fawning over fake dudes and the sistas getting pissed until they find out that “white girl can have that crazy M-F”.
Feb.15 at 2:58 pm
Drer says:
Soooo..let’s see here. Legal Prostitution which entails all the prostitutes all over the country coming down to get there hustle on, strippers from every city, the baddest(as in good looking) chick vying for attention. Competition should be mad stiff among the ladies, which means more of “That action” for the fellas. Sweet!
Feb.15 at 3:00 pm
CASHVILLE says:
2
Feb.15 at 3:15 pm
a.d.i.r.a.b says:
“next level weaves, white girls fawning over every well dressed black guy who they think might have paper, black girls seeing this and hating until they realize that those dudes aren’t dudes they want anyway” - greatest ever ! shit sounds like my train ride home.
Feb.15 at 3:17 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Here’s your order, Khalid: Partaking, partaking, partaking, working.
Feb.15 at 3:17 pm
Bryant Reeves says:
When my buddy and I went to Vegas 2 years ago he proclaimed it “Disney Land for 20 somethings”. It think that sums it up.
Feb.15 at 3:18 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Oh, and then partaking some more.
Feb.15 at 3:18 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
I’m gonna try to post everyday. all of us are gonna try to report live on scene so we can stay as up to date as possible
Feb.15 at 3:21 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
ryan is right.
Feb.15 at 3:32 pm
albie1kenobi says:
i know it’s gonna be tough as hell to update often (since the objective is to partake in the festivities), but please keep us unluckies update on everything that’s happening as much as possible. even just short bits like “i just saw sir charles choked on a donut and is calling the race off!” or when you are drunk off your ass. actually, PLEASE write something when (notice i said “when” and not “if”) that happens because i’m sure it’ll be a fun read.
Feb.15 at 3:39 pm
Chris says:
Bill Simmons also wrote “we’re either headed for the greatest sports weekend of all time or the most disappointing sports weekend of all time” when Khalid and Bill agree on something you know it’s got to be true. Have a good time, and if you see any current or former indiana pacers in the club, RUN, because some sh– is about to go down.
Feb.15 at 3:45 pm
Cheryl says:
ROFLMAO, Chris!
Feb.15 at 3:57 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
Chris, in the immortal words of martin lawrence–”we’re here” ( pointintg at my eyes)
Feb.15 at 3:59 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Just want to point out that one week ago I wrote: “I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes off great, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s the worst All-Star Weekend ever.” http://slamonline.com/online/2007/02/lebron-james-and-clevelands-offensive-un-coordination/
Feb.15 at 4:00 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Also, I’m setting the over/under on “Posts Khalid Actually Writes While In Las Vegas” at 3. And I’m taking the under.
Feb.15 at 4:07 pm
Cheryl says:
You’ve been challenged, Khalid. Don’t let a Sista down.
Feb.15 at 4:17 pm
topher says:
My boys and I decided last night that we can not miss this weekend and promptly bought airline tickets to sin city with student loan and rent money (we’ll worry about making it up later.) I hope I see the SLAM crew there. Whooo!
Feb.15 at 4:22 pm
Drer says:
Topher, You’re joking right?
Feb.15 at 4:25 pm
Chris C says:
hey lang you wrote somethin last week? ok sorry just buggin ya. i cant wait for the all star game, bosh might actually get a few touches this time
Feb.15 at 4:40 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I’m so happy I’m not going.
Feb.15 at 4:41 pm
Chuck says:
You cannot blatantly PLAGIARIZE what Bill Simmons wrote yesterday: “Whatever you want to call it, the odds say that this will either be the greatest weekend ever or the worst. There isn’t any middle ground.” Go read Simmons post on espn.com from yesterday (Wed) and everyone will see that Khalid (though I like his work) just may be stealing straight from Bill Simmons.. I’m just saying!
Feb.15 at 4:49 pm
Cheryl says:
Damn, whose grill is getting front page of Slamonline! I hope they’re removable. Man, that’s hard to look at…
Feb.15 at 5:02 pm
Chris C says:
yo chuck im the biggest bill simmons fan on earth, but yeh it didnt sound like him to me. i dont read simmons cus he has some broad idea of an all star game, i read it for the off colour comments etc.
Feb.15 at 5:08 pm
FrankyFly says:
I can see John Amaechi and one All-Star getting married in one of these Las Vegas wedding chapels. That must be a funny weekend! Enjoy
Feb.15 at 5:12 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
Damn chuck it is not that serious. what bill simmons wrote isn’t so groundbreaking. pretty much the whole it could be great or bad but not in between thing is a concensus thats been building for weeks. he didn’t create that and frankly don’t come on my blog with that accusatory tone. occasionaly people have the same ideas at the same time and post them at the same time. not for nothing simmons has wrote things similar to what i’ve done in the past but i thought nothing of it. but that happens to all of us. there was nothing malicious about it at all. if anything i prob got that good/bad thing from lang, he even mentions it above. its nothing against simmons, i think his stuff is funny a decent amount of the time. However i never need to bite anyone’s work. You say you like my writing and to that i say, well you should. Much like my name, my writing is pretty different. The tone, slang and intelligence of my work stands on its own. So don’t ever come at me like that again…and oh yeah …Vegas baby!
Feb.15 at 5:26 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I just hope all you guys make it back alive.
Feb.15 at 5:27 pm
Lutha says:
Yeah chuck, that was not a groundbreaking annoucement that would require stealing. Anything that has tremendous hype surrounding it, sets itself up to be really great or really overrated.
Feb.15 at 5:27 pm
mutoni says:
kha, don’t go to vegas mad.
Feb.15 at 5:32 pm
true says:
Do that sh*t Khalid. Two to the head. One to the body. In the hood we call that a two piece chicken and biscuit. Chuck got knocked the fu*k out.
Feb.15 at 5:34 pm
Drer says:
I doubt Vegas will live up to the hype. Memo to the Slam crew heading out to Viva. Have expectations of a pathetic, wrecthed, boo-boo arse event. Then whatever transpires is bonus..Be Safe!
Feb.15 at 5:36 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
I am scared and excited. Khalid is fired up already. They won’t let him on the plane with outbursts like that. Simmer down (for now).
Feb.15 at 5:38 pm
jay says:
i just want to get my limited kicks and iam ticked i am missing the nike party!
Feb.15 at 5:43 pm
Drer says:
I hear Cherokee will be giving out some lap dances at some skrippa joint in Vegas. I think the starting rate is like 20 grand for like 10 mins. BALLLLLLLLLLIIIINNNNNNN’
Feb.15 at 5:48 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
i’m not mad just staying true to the motto i keep above my desk. to everyone going to vegas i wish them a safe and delay-free flight both there and back. and please stay outta harms way out there. we all want to have a good time but also to return to home safe and sound…last time–vegas baby!
Feb.15 at 6:45 pm
albie1kenobi says:
i’d say Russ is jealous.
i thought about going to vegas for this too, then i realize that i hate going to really crowded place. stay in one piece, guys. vegas crowds are no joke.
Feb.15 at 7:02 pm
jbn74sb says:
To anyone going to Vegas, including the players, as well as Josh Heytvelt (sp? - too lazy to check) and Theo Davis: Despite its status as “Sin City” and all that is permitted there, Vegas (and Nevada as a whole) have some of the most stringent law regarding the position of pot in the country. In other words, do not get into a car with Rasheed and stay far away from Mighty Mouse.
Feb.15 at 7:03 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Hell no I’m not. I’ve been to (hmm) six All-Star games (’97-04) and I’m sure I’ll get to others. Vegas just isn’t my bag, baby.
Feb.15 at 7:12 pm
jbn74sb says:
AKA the possession of pot.
Feb.15 at 7:15 pm
Tariq says:
Salam Khalid,
Actually you’re name isna’t that different; my brother’s name is Khalid. Tariq, on the other hand…Lord!
Feb.15 at 7:16 pm
Tariq says:
sorry…i meant “your” name
Feb.15 at 7:24 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Was that Chuck Klosterman who wanted it with Khalid?
Feb.15 at 7:43 pm
Harlem_World says:
Damn Khalid…You sound like scoop ‘my sh*t is irresistable, you have no choice but to love it - or I’ll. short. sentence. you. into. submission.’ Jackson (word to Larry Bird)
Feb.15 at 7:53 pm
Darksaber says:
For the zillionth time, I ENVY YOU YOUR JOBS, you slamonline suckers.
Feb.15 at 8:03 pm
Mike says:
Can I join the SLAM team and be an intern for the weekend?? I swear ill work my ass off!!
Feb.16 at 1:40 am
Blinguo says:
I’d be on the lookout for Slam’s man Dwight Howard, the kid with the Space Jam monster shoulders. Wasn’t he covering TV duties for NBATV last time or something to that effect? Now he’s in the Dunk contest after mysteriously not getting any love on SLAMOnline.com here about his alley oop game winner over Tim Duncan a week or so ago. (That wasn’t Player of the D.A.Y. material?) Can he use Tim Duncan again as his “prop/teammate/second man help dunk” for a sure 50? Also who’s going to sit next to Money on the judging panel, Kobe and Bron? Each with their respective Nike Basketball/JB signature clothing lines on?
Feb.16 at 8:16 am
snyper 48 says:
Hey Kha, you know the M-O-B rules in Vegas right, so you better take Omar (BK stand up)with you,just in case ish happens…nah, just kidding,have fun, we miss you O!!!
Feb.16 at 11:16 am
Mike C. says:
I may be late to the party with this, but I just read on ESPN.com that the League isn’t allowing Dwight Howard to have the basket raised up to 12 feet for two of his dunks. Word on the ESPN.com street is that DHoward was going through the legs at 11.5 feet, and 360ing at 12 feet. Accoring to Mark Stein, Howard is “rather steamed”. Here’s the League, once again denying something that the players and fans actually want to see. They’ll probably bring that stupid wheel back this year. No wonder the Dunk Contest is dying a slow death. When someone comes along and wants to do something fresh and original, the League stomps on their faces. Relatively speaking.
Feb.16 at 12:27 pm
dez says:
There better be pictures posted of this thing
Feb.16 at 5:52 pm
Kilo G says:
thats crazy how its in vegas this year, but i heard that next year its gonna be in vancouver! say it aint so slam! say it aint so! if it is,then damn im just gonna hav 2 bury in hole for one weekend next year. your bringing bak ball to a city that had one of the lowest attendance records when they had a bball franchise. good for people living in west coast canada, but atleast toronto, man! this is alll your fault david stern!!!!
Feb.16 at 8:14 pm
sixthman6 says:
what shoes is parker wearing here? http://www.nba.com/gallery/portraits/070216_13.html
Feb.16 at 10:21 pm
Omar says:
Man, i already know what’s going to happen. Ben is gonna get some work done. Sam might could come back with a VD or two. Lang is gonna crack a joke on the wrong black or Latino dude and end being held for ransom in either Crenshaw or East LA (i’m sure one of his NBA buddies will pay it tho), and Khalid is the wild card. He could come back like Denzel Washington during the Pelican Brief (Didn’t wanna do a love scene with Julia Roberts because he wanted to keep it real for the sistas) or come back like Taye Diggs in REAL life (He caught the Jungle Fever. Not that there’s anything wrong with that) Best believe if i was going i’d mosey on down to the boarder and help some fam cross the the muthafucka. But that’s just me.
Feb.16 at 11:02 pm
DMQuinones says:
Being a native Las Vegan, I can tell you all that the craziest stories, the most sublime sub-plots, and the most absurd situations that happen this weekend, like all happenings in Vegas, will most likely (unfortunately) not appear in any newspapers or on any websites. But rest assured, they ARE happening…
Feb.17 at 6:45 am
Darksaber says:
Omar, they not letting you join in the festivities? The rich keep getting….
Feb.18 at 5:44 pm
Omar says:
DMQ, put me on to game, what’s going on in Vegas? I heard Buck and Game got into it. Any of that true? And yea Darksaber, they ain’t letting me live. I would say “the man” is keeping my down, but they let my man Khalid live, so that can’t be the case.
Feb.20 at 9:52 pm
Ben says:
4 all ya!!! http://i87.photobucket.com/albums/k138/bendreizehn/DwightSticker.png Greetz from Germany