NBA Groupies
NBA groupies tell all…or nothing.
I was going to ignore this and hope it went away, but I’ve seen it referenced in three or four places the last few days, so I guess it has some staying power…unfortunately.
Last month’s issue of GQ magazine had a coverline that screamed “NBA GROUPIES TELL ALL.” So of course I flipped directly to that article, where the layout featured a stylized woman in the mode of the NBA logo.
Great premise for a story, right? In this day of saturated media coverage of the NBA and really all sports, one of the final frontiers is groupies. We all are pretty sure they exist, we’re all pretty sure it’s a salacious topic. But where’s the coverage? Aside from using “NBA groupies” as a punchline in stories, there has been very little written about the women who chase NBA players hoping to get in their pants.
But then as you read the GQ story, it becomes obvious that the NBA is really secondary in the story, which is more about a group of women who’ve come to Houston for the NBA All Star game to hang out and party. They do not hook up with any NBA players, they have no stories about hooking up with NBA players or chasing them around, and as it goes along it becomes obvious that these women have little interest in actually hooking up with NBA players.
If anything, these women are moreso groupies of the NBA itself, particularly All-Star weekend — the parties, the clubs, etc. What the GQ story is actually about is women who like to have a good time. But GQ wanted a story about NBA groupies, so they tie it all together with an amazingly tenuous thread and throw it out there, hoping to generate some headlines and noise. Which, of course, it has. (There’s one other facet that makes the story completely fall apart, but I’ll get to that in a second.)
I’ve been around a lot of NBA locker rooms and NBA parties and NBA guys away from the court, and I can honestly say there aren’t as many NBA groupies as some people would have you think, mostly because the players don’t have time for it. Think about it: The team gets into a city at 4:00 a.m., have shootaround at 10:00 a.m., have three hours off in the afternoon, have a game that night and leave immediately afterwards. You’d have to be really dedicated to getting caught out there in order to play in the groupie market. I just called an NBA exec who travels with an NBA team and asked him about groupies, and he said he never sees groupies hanging out at the hotel — like the Ritz-Carlton is going to just allow a bunch of random women to stand around by the check-in desk — and he very rarely catches them in the arenas after games.
Which isn’t to say NBA groupies don’t exist. I’ve seen the women, and I’ve been with NBA players when they’ve been approached by ladies, almost exclusively at parties, the kind of place that a regular person can’t just stroll into without being on some kind of list. If you want to meet an NBA player at a club, you have to know someone, either to get on the VIP list or get an introduction or whatever.
The one similarity that unites most women I’ve seen hanging around NBA players is that they’re all hot. Really hot. Like model hot.
Which is why I was surprised when I saw the photo of GQ’s NBA groupies, who look like…well, I’m not trying to put those ladies on blast. Let’s just say you wouldn’t mistake any of them for a Victoria’s Secret angel, which is generally the caliber of NBA chicks.
I don’t know if there’s some extended network through which real NBA groupies all stay in touch and plan out who gets what cities. Does someone coordinate their travel? How do they get into the best clubs in various cities? Is there one legendary NBA groupie? Which players are the most susceptible to groupies? Why do these women choose to live their lives like this?
In fact, that we know almost nothing about these women suggests that there’s a great story waiting to be written on the subject. And maybe this time we can find out the real story.
24 Responses to “NBA Groupies”
Jul.19 at 5:27 pm
Waxtron says:
I didn’t read that article, but I did see that pic & didn’t buy that NBA dudes liked women that uh “healthy”.
Jul.19 at 5:35 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Years ago I was at this bar in NYC, and the New Jersey Nets point guard at the time STEPHON MARBURY came in with a scorching hot girl and a humungous bodyguard. They sat at a private table, and all night long girls would approach that table and throw themselves at Steph, even taunting the girl on his arm that they wanted to fight her. None of them looked like the ladies in the GQ story. Well, maybe one or two did.
Jul.19 at 5:38 pm
Jeremy says:
I bought that GQ as soon as it came out just for that article (that and the hilarious Will Ferrell piece, which was sheer genious)Anyways, I was all geeked up for a story with girls talking about their nights with Rasheed Wallace (I read the Vegas post) or something like that. These women didn’t even get the security guard at the front door. Not impressed.
Jul.19 at 5:41 pm
Kyle Stack says:
I remember walking out of a Suns-Lakers game a couple years back in L.A. and seeing two tall, gorgeous blondes walking towards the arena and speaking to a security guard. They had the slutty, hot model look going on with a look in their eyes that they wanted some NBA action later that night. I know that’s not a great story but it’s all I have.
Jul.19 at 5:57 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Totally agree with you about that Will Ferrell story, which was hilarious. Esquire did a similar story a few years ago where they had a writer do a Jon Stewart story, and then they let Jon Stewart take a pen and go through and make comments throughout the piece. Will Ferrell’s madlibs were dope, though.
Jul.19 at 7:25 pm
M.K.P says:
I could see Mark Madsen getting down with the brown and actually doing a little dance for them, you know, to stimulate the mood.
Jul.19 at 8:52 pm
gioforeal says:
Hey, what about them WNBA groupies?Oh ,I forgot,the players themselves cornered that market..
Jul.19 at 10:09 pm
Matt Wens says:
ZING ^
Jul.19 at 10:38 pm
luckyluciano says:
When i was in NYC a couple of years ago, i had a one nighter with this chicky babe who i thought was loving it.. I found out the next day from my cousin that she had spent the night before with a former number 1 draft pick.. I felt disgusted to think the size difference..
Jul.19 at 11:02 pm
chiphead says:
Yeah luckyluciano, you know you’re no Kandiman.
Jul.19 at 11:55 pm
luckyluciano says:
How did u know it was Kandiman??? it could have been Yao Ming?????
Jul.20 at 2:06 am
Troy Dallas says:
or Tyrone Hill.
Jul.20 at 4:43 am
bja says:
I remember the story about MJ’s wife dating Reggie Theus before him. That’s what I call moving up the groupie ladder. How’s that for your one legendary groupie Lang? I also read a story about how the Bulls wanted to (re)acquire Theus but Mike told them he would retire before playing with him. I can’t prove the veracity of any of this but that’s what the internet is for right? Spreading unfounded rumours, gossip and innuendo. Imagine what Mike would have done if Reggie had frozen him out an All Star game too …
Jul.20 at 10:27 am
Matt says:
I was lucky enough to attend a party at VC’s club “Inside” in Toronto, during the playoff series with the Sixers. A good friend was a bartender and I lived right behind the bar at the time. Word was that Iverson bankrolled all the Cristal, though he didn’t show up. There were many girls that were generally just chillin’, but oddly enough most of the players were more concerned with hanging with eachother. One of the funnier moments was seeing Keon Clark with this Asian girl who was all of five foot one. The best thing all night was Chris Childs. We look up and there he is, behind the bar. More iced than anyone, he’s pouring drinks and dirty dancing with the lady bartender. Then, girls start lining up for shots. Body shots. Childs was doing body shots off the chests of girl after girl. They were insatiable and kept coming back for more. I later saw him in the VIP with his arms around two girls, and yes they were model hot. Not like Daria or Giselle hot, but more like ‘Next Top Model’ hot.
Jul.20 at 10:47 am
Steve says:
I was in a night club one night when the Grizzlies were still in Vancouver, and the Lakers were in town. Two Lakers come in and all the girls started freaking. These two grabbed 4 girls in a matter of minutes and left with them. Half an hour later they returned with the girls, dropped them off and grabbed 4 more girls and left with them. I spoke to the bouncer and he said that they had a limo outside and there were 2 other Lakers inside the limo who didn’t want to be seen. The would grab the girls, drive around the city, do whatever they did, and drop them off and grab 4 new ones. I heard from a few people that NBA players loved Vancovuer because the women look so good and are sooooo easy. I never doubted that after that night.
Jul.20 at 3:38 pm
illydiva says:
A few years back, when I was still a subscriber, Vibe magazine did a story on groupies; I’m not sure they were specific to NBA players but it was not this lameness you are referencing in the above magazine. It was more of what we all imagine: kept women in various cities, networks of women who could be called upon, lavish gifts and of course sex. I’m sure someone at SLAM is connected enough to get a back issue if it means that much to ya.
Jul.20 at 4:10 pm
Joe says:
1) That explains why MJ was never on “Hang Time”. 2) Chris Childs was/is an alcoholic so I belieive that story too. 3) If a certain player in Seattle is reading this, not named Jesus, watchout. I know for a fact one of your side chicks is planning “entrapment”.
Jul.20 at 5:47 pm
t-man says:
i’ve seen numerous players when them come to town in boston grab very fine woman and leave.. i have seen lakers, utah, celtics, all take things and leave.. come’on these guys are only humans and what human can resist all these woman coming at them, just buckle up and have fun..!
Jul.20 at 11:42 pm
Mighty says:
does Glen Rice’s wife counts as a groupie???
Jul.21 at 6:54 pm
Sade says:
Groupies come in all, shades ,sizes and looks . Where I am from everyone has been with a ball player and you do not to be a 10 , just the 1st to make eye contact or on the most put together one . And I know a crossed eye girl who dating a player , the article is bull the main girls who date these or mess with these guys are everyday looking just look at there wives for crying out loud u have maybe 10 beautiful out of the whole league .
Jul.31 at 5:50 pm
sush carter says:
i was at a rockets-kings game a couple years ago at arco, backstage outside the rockets locker room waiting for dream (yeah, my boy knows him) and they had the locker room all fenced off…the players would all come out to greet their respective guests, cat mobley, franchise…but nobody was allowed to walk into the locker room…until these two bomb blondes strolled right past the security guards and into the locker room…so i asked the guy who the ladies were…he just smiled and said they were there for (gov) charles
Nov.10 at 1:50 am
Marie says:
Confessions of a Video Vixen !!!!Karen Hunter AKA Karrine Steffans AKA SUPERHEAD!!! Best groupie tales ever
Jul.3 at 9:17 pm
Ricky R says:
As a long time Lakers fan (since the 70s), I was sorry to see what happened to Magic Johnson. I hope these NBA players are being wise and covering up..but if one does research on NBA players with children from different women (Shawn Kemp anyone?), I would say they probably have not learned the lesson of Magic.
Sep.27 at 7:46 am
Andre green says:
NCAA groupies are hotter, younger with more “real” features very approachable and even non-star caliber players or even non NCAA athletes can snag one or three not at the same time tho, you’d really have to be campus big man for that one.