The year is 1990.
The Detroit Pistons had just become the third franchise in NBA history to win back-to-back Championships by defeating the Portland Trail Blazers, cementing the bruising legacy of the Bad Boys.
Spider, Worm and Zeke were household names. For those not in the know (and if you’re reading SLAM, then why the hell are you not initiated?), that’s John Salley and Hall of Famers Dennis Rodman and Isiah Thomas. With the help of Vinne Johnson, Rick Mahorn, fellow HOFers Joe Dumars and the late great Chuck Daly and, of course, the L’s all-time villain Bill Laimbeer, the Boys bodied Clyde “The Glide” Drexler and Co. in five games.
Together, Detroit’s finest made the NBA rough and rugged and in yo muthaf—ckin’ face.
It was ugly (read: Laimbeer threw elbows, hips and hard fouls out like candy on Halloween), but it was a thing of beauty because they were led by Zeke, a maestro with the rock, who razzled, dazzled and put the Pistons on his back for the historic repeat.
But we’ll come back to that later.
The year 1990 was also the genesis that led to the golden era of hip-hop. Albums like Public Enemy’s Fear of a Black Planet, Ice Cube’s Amerikkka’s Most Wanted, LL Cool J’s Mama Said Knock You Out, The D.O.C.’s No One Can Do It Better and Eric B & Rakim’s Let the Rhythm Hit ‘Em were dominating the airwaves and keeping bodies rockin’ in clubs, school dances, impromptu get-togethers and basement and block parties nationwide.
The year is also immensely significant to Washington Wizards fans for two seemingly innocuous reasons, at the time anyway. Brand Nubian’s seminal hit single “Slow Down,” with its clutch sample of Edie Brickell & New Bohemians’s “What I Am,” was on repeat and John Wall was born on September 6 to Frances Pulley and John Carroll Wall Sr in Raleigh, NC.
Slow down
Slow, slow down
What I am, what I am
Fast forward 20 years and Wall, the second coming, the savior, the Kentucky whirling dervish, the “did I just see that” YouTube ballin’ sensation, was selected first by the Wiz in the 2010 NBA Draft.
And just as promised, during his rookie campaign, Wall astonished. He showed and proved.
That first year stat line was a breath of fresh air for Washingtonians: 16.4 ppg, 8.3 apg and 1.8 steals per.
And the awards rolled in, too. Wall took home the 2011 Rookie Game MVP, was named Eastern Conference Rookie of the Month from January to April, was named to the All-Rookie First-Team and lost out to the previous year’s No. 1 pick Blake Griffin for the Rookie of the Year trophy.
Wall amazed, he broke ankles.
But he was too damn fast.
For defenders? Sure.
But here’s the rub: He was too damn fast for his teammates, too. And let’s just say it for the umpteenth time: He was too damn fast for his own good.
Slow down
You livin foul
And it ain’t yo style
Wall likely wasn’t aware of Brand Nubian’s prophetic words, but his detractors did. Every analyst with two cents, one cent and half a cent echoed the same criticism, despite his steady improvement over the last five years: Wall needed to slow down.
To be more specific, he needed to slow the game down, lead his team by getting into sets quicker, direct the show. Run it like the Point God Zeke did with the Pistons during their dominant run.
Shine and distribute. Murder the interior defense. Get to the rim and finger roll it, slam it, jam it down their throats.
Floor General the break like Patton.
Orchestrate the 24-second shot clock like the masterful musical engineering of Bach’s “Art of Fugue.”
Step up more often and with kill at will like the assassination of the Toronto Raptors in last year’s playoffs for 17 points, 12.5 assists and 4 boards per contest.
Do that, Wall, and you won’t have to tell the media, “I probably won’t make the 2016 Olympic Team.”
Do that, and everyone will truly forget and forgive the Dougie dancing fiasco.
Do that, and you’ll take that next step from great to elite, star to superstar, player to MVP candidate.
It’s there, just like Ragu. It’s definitely there.
But you gotta stir it up. You have to become the leader everyone in the DMV knows you can be.
The dimes are already on point. You serve dishes like Wolfgang.
But you need to nail those midrange J’s with better efficiency. Get that 3-point FG percentage up. Cut down on the turnovers.
You went from 47 to 25 to 38 to 24 to 18 and now #12 on this list.
Damn it’s a shame you’re the mighty queen of vials
With a wide-eyed look and a rotten-toothed smile
Used to walk with a swagger, now you simply stagger
From one spot on to the next spot on to the next spot on to the next
Call me crazy, but you got a lock on the Top 10 for next year. No one in the L can slow you down or stop the reign.
So go get that top spot…with the quickness.
SLAM Top 50 Players 2015 | ||||
Rank | Player | Team | Position | Pos. Rank |
50 | Rajon Rondo | Kings | PG | 14 |
49 | Giannis Antetokounmpo | Bucks | SF | 8 |
48 | Rudy Gobert | Jazz | C | 10 |
47 | Al Jefferson | Hornets | C | 9 |
46 | DeMar DeRozan | Raptors | SG | 7 |
45 | Goran Dragic | Heat | PG | 13 |
44 | Zach Randolph | Grizzlies | PF | 11 |
43 | Jeff Teague | Hawks | PG | 12 |
42 | Bradley Beal | Wizards | SG | 6 |
41 | Joakim Noah | Bulls | C | 8 |
40 | Eric Bledsoe | Suns | PG | 11 |
39 | Tony Parker | Spurs | PG | 10 |
38 | Andrew Wiggins | T-Wolves | SF | 7 |
37 | Kyle Lowry | Raptors | PG | 9 |
36 | Serge Ibaka | Thunder | PF | 10 |
35 | Gordon Hayward | Jazz | SF | 6 |
34 | Pau Gasol | Bulls | PF | 9 |
33 | Paul Millsap | Hawks | PF | 8 |
32 | Mike Conley | Grizzlies | PG | 8 |
31 | Andre Drummond | Pistons | C | 7 |
30 | Dirk Nowitzki | Mavs | PF | 7 |
29 | Draymond Green | Warriors | PF | 6 |
28 | Kobe Bryant | Lakers | SG | 5 |
27 | Dwyane Wade | Heat | SG | 4 |
26 | DeAndre Jordan | Clippers | C | 6 |
25 | Tim Duncan | Spurs | C | 5 |
24 | Derrick Rose | Bulls | PG | 7 |
23 | Al Horford | Hawks | C | 4 |
22 | Paul George | Pacers | SF | 5 |
21 | Chris Bosh | Heat | PF | 5 |
20 | Kevin Love | Cavs | PF | 4 |
19 | Dwight Howard | Rockets | C | 3 |
18 | Jimmy Butler | Bulls | SG | 3 |
17 | Klay Thompson | Warriors | SG | 2 |
16 | Damian Lillard | Blazers | PG | 6 |
15 | Kyrie Irving | Cavs | PG | 5 |
14 | Marc Gasol | Grizzlies | C | 2 |
13 | Carmelo Anthony | Knicks | SF | 4 |
12 | John Wall | Wizards | PG | 4 |
Rankings are based on expected contribution in 2015-16—to players’ team, the NBA and the game.