by Shannon Booher
Line Of The Night:
Nene — 19 points, 11 boards, 2 assists, 2 blocks
We come back from Turkey Time for this? Absolutely no one qualifies for any of the L.O.N. special sections? Come on y’all. The importance of this line is that it even had the opportunity to happen. Nene’s career has been racked by injuries and setbacks (and that’s WAY too weak of a word for cancer), and maybe this year, under the radar, he’s fulfilling some of that potential. Stay healthy, dunny!
Worst Of The Night:
Mike Dunleavy is such a bad offensive coach, that not only can he not find ways to improve his players’ chances of scoring, but he somehow sucks the instincts from them, leaving them completely witless on the offensive end, especially in the fourth quarter. This has been going on for years, spanning various personnel combos, and never was there a better example than last night’s chokefest against the Mavs. The Clip Joint was up 96-84 with 4:33 left, and lost 98-100. Yes sir… TWO POINTS IN 4:33! Amazing. The shots they threw up down the stretch were indescribably bad.
Jose Juan Barea, one of the Mavs’ offensive heroes, summed it up well:
“Their faces were looking shaky. They’re a good one-on-one team. We played like a team in the zone.”
Think that’s getting a bullet point on Dunleavy’s resume? “I’ll make my players’ faces look shaky”.
Contraction Club Of The Night:
San Antonio Spurs — 77 points vs. the Pistons
San Antonio, you’ve been Sheeded. Late in the third quarter, incensed at a call from a ref, Sheed came out of a timeout focused, going on a Sheed-0 run (6 straight points). Game time. It was Pistons from there… almost as if Dunleavy’s Fourth Quarter Trance had somehow permeated it’s way into the San Antonio huddle.
Revenge, Getback And Retribution Of The Night:
Andre Miller — 28 points, 4 assists, 4 boards, 3 steals
In case you missed it over the weekend, Derrick Rose absolutely abused Dre in Philly, first with an out-of-nowhere-breakaway-Tayshaun-Prince-On-Reggie-Miller block, and then with an A.I.-On-Jordan-ankle-breaking crossover. Miller literally fell on the ground. If that had been a rap battle, Miller’s entire career would have been deaded. We are talking Cuban Link after 
he crossed Fat Joe dead. But in the NBA, there’s always another game, and in this case, and immediate rematch. Miller can take a little solace in out-scoring the young gun last night, and getting the Sixers an OT win, but unfortunately heads are going to be typing “rose miller” in the YouTube search box for years to come.
Vlad-man’s Death Ray goggles… The Drought Is Over 6 > Dedication 3, hands down. “All my kicks fly, like Liu Kang’s”. Come on haters, deep on your heart you know that’s hot. At least if you’re old enough to know who Liu Kang is… Chauncey Billups = even better than we thought… Lakers lose. It’s news. Done…
