by Shannon Booher

Line Of The Night:

Kevin Garnett — 21 points, 10 boards, 3 assists, 1 block

This is all about what you cannot see in the line. Peezy went for 36, but he would have been sitting on the bench, getting blown out by the Raptors, if it was not for K.G. Back at home after an intense win in Detroit, the Ceatles were about as lively as John Lennon and George Harrison during the first half. The only exception was the Kid, who had his motor running, as usual. When the rest of his guys still weren’t really into it in the second half, he ratcheted up to that other level, getting everybody going. He even started pressing Jose Calderon full court, reaching and pointing and clapping and yapping the whole time. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Really, can’t they transform his blood into some kind of laptop battery? Car fuel? A general high efficiency energy source? Obama has the solution to the country’s economic, gas, and environmental problems right under his nose.

Worst Of The Night:

Hey Phoenix, if you are going to pound the ball into Amare and Shaq, maybe you guys should practice the entry pass? We counted at least six failed entry passes in last night’s game against the Grizz. Gross. Matt Barnes alone screwed up three in a row, at one point! Overall the Suns are in textbook Bizarro world right now… it’s an odd scene out there in Arizona.

Near Beast Of The Night:

Dwight Howard — 29 points, 19 boards, 1 steal, 1 block

Ok, Greg. You’ve officially dodged the murder’s row of centers you were set to face to open the season, and your team, the Blazers, even came out of it with a respectable 4-3 record. Time to come back an enjoy your overwhelming physical advantage.

Rookie Of The Night:

O.J. Mayo — 33 points, 5 assists, 3 boards, 3 steals

Wow. Coming out of college, we were not exactly sure what Mr. Mayo was going to give us in the NBA. After two consecutive 30+ games, now we know (well, maybe we don’t… after all, these performances came against the no D Warriors and the “what the hell are we doing out here, coach?” Suns). Dude is a natural offensive (more offensive than Ralph Nader, more offensive than Andrew Dice Clay, more offensive than Mike Martz, more offensive than Michael Vick at the Westminster Kennel Club, more offensive than an Eminem concert in the Vatican, more offensive than our earlier Beatles comment) talent, and not afraid to have the ball in his hands. In fact, if every player in uniform for both the Grizz and the Suns had ganged up on him and physically tried to wrestle the ball away from him last night in the forth quarter, it might have been mission impossible. And we’re including Shaq in that. He literally had the ball in his hands over 90 percent of the time for the Grizz in the fourth. He balled out for sure, but we were definitely having visions of early-post-Shaq-liberated Kobe. Mayo could have capped this performance off with a big time clutch shot, but failed on a long, long gun to tie with a few seconds left.

Overall, Memphis has a whole lot of talent, but almost no clue how to play with each other.  With under two minutes to go, they failed to inbound the ball TWICE IN A ROW! Come on, guys.

Hakim Warrick to Robin Lopez: get some, have some, want some! EAT YOUR BREAKFAST!!!!… Amare removes the goggles. Too bad, we kind of liked them… Leandro Barbosa finally suited up last night, dropping 27 points, but still only played 22 minutes… It hurts to see what has become of the Vinsanity of it all. He looked hapless last night in clutch (two turnovers in three possessions), as DWade showed him how it is properly done… How much extra time do K.G., The Truth and Ray Allen have on their hands now that every single media outlet in the universe no longer has to do an obligatory “Big 3” feature? More or less than Melo has, now that the braids are gone?… The obligatory Hawks reference:  Solomon Jones… Gold medalist Nastia Liukin court side, in Pacers jersey, at Pacers game, but actually a Mavericks fan… FREE ALICIA SACRAMONE!…