Movie Review: The Wackness
Omar walks in to see a movie about NYC in the early 90’s…
By Omar Mazariego
A few weeks ago I went to see The Happening a.k.a The Horrible, and saw a preview for a coming of age flick called The Wackness (Which is what The Happening should’ve been dubbed). The next day I couldn’t get that preview out my head due to the hip-hop backdrop and songs used during the preview. So the excitement began.
A few weeks later I found myself with Khalid on a ridiculously long line to catch the screening (Thanks Navani 
. Not to my surprise, me and Kha were the most G’d up heads there. I mean it was a hip-hop influenced flick, but it’s a predominantly white cast hip-hop flick, hence the predominantly white audience. It was so rosy there that Kha wanted to cut to thee very front of the line cause he knew wasn’t no one on line willing to fight us two. But me having tested those kind of waters before knew that while they won’t dare shoot the five or ten with us two, that kind of crowd would not hesitate to complain to security or management. We ain’t wanna get barred from the preview, so we chilled and got in about 20 minutes later. Now had it been a screening for Crank 2, best believe I would’ve took those chance.
Now The Wackness centers around an problematic pot dealer named Luke Shapiro (Josh from Drake & Josh). The young scrapper spends his time pitching on his blocks, trading his product to a shrink that’s going through a mid-life crisis in exchange for therapy, and also dreaming about bedding his shrink’s stepdaughter, Stephanie.
It’s his last summer before heading off to college and son’s only sexual experience stems from a park incident in which his jumpoff was drunk off of Crazy Horse (OG’s remember that beer. And y’all thought Cisco & St. Ides were crack juice). But the Po-9 came and did what they do best: C-block!
So aside from spending his whole summer hand-to-hand hustling (he’s trying to raise enough money to keep his family from getting evicted) and showing his shrink the ways of the streets (his shrink tagging up his whole government on a dept. store window was hilarious), he’s also now trying his best to woo Stephanie off her feet in hopes that she’ll end his virginal run a.k.a The AC Green Effect. Even though her ways and actions are like that of a savage (she hitting them slopes like Picabo Street) she is a cutie. I myself wouldn’t have put in a 16th of the effort he put into bagging her, but to each his own.
Now he’s pushing an ices cart around NY, bubbling the raw while Stephanie accompanies him and begins to grow feelings for him. Bendito!
Reasons while I loved this film lay in the cinematography and script. It truly was a trip down memory lane. The gritty look of the movie and the locations chosen really gave this joint the feel of a 1994 New York City. Complete with Giuliani bashing, 40 oz drinking teens in posh house parties (I think I saw Sam in the background making out with what appeared to be an overage female) and the rise of Notorious BIG in the music scene, The Wackness was very reminiscent of how life in NY was during that era.
The score to the movie itself was enough to make this film worth my time. All hip-hop music that was hot in NYC during ‘94 made up this movie’s backdrop: Big, Raekwon, Nas, Tribe, Faith, Biz, Will Smith (He was the man at that time. Don’t front) - all classic. All day, everyday.
What I didn’t love about the movie was how rehearsed a lot of the slang sounded. From simple “nah”’s to “shorty”’s to “waddup”’s sounded so fake that only Method Man’s horrible Jamaican accent made the “ebonics” used sound somewhat credible. Obviously these actors never set foot on a block where graffiti covers 90+ percent of its buildings and its residents are more familiar with WIC than they are with Starbucks. We all know Meth is hood, but his dread accent was so bad that if he approached you in the streets talking that sh*t, you’d automatically assume he was a D and would be waiting for him to pop out that badge and throw you against the wall.
Also a lot of key points where completely left out. Questions and possible answers that plagued me throughout the movie like: How did Luke’s father lose all his money causing their eviction? Maybe he bet it all on the Knicks to beat the Rockets in the Finals that year. Why was the Asian kid the most popular dude in school? Maybe he was Jin. Why was Stephanie’s dog named Jesus Christ? Maybe cause the dog was white. And why did the Knicks draft Danilo Gallinari? Maybe they were hoping NY fans would tear down the garden in a blind rage in which case Dolan and Walsh would collect an insurance check and use that money to sign Lebron James.
Anyway, The Wackness gets 3.5 Gangstas.
For all the funny dialogue, one liners and comedic moments, there was twice as much dragging (Why would I care about the Shrink’s stale marriage?), horrible slang speaking and accents and even worse: an Olsen twin (She made Amy Winehouse look like the bill of health). The music, the look and feel of the movie saved a lot of it. And while it did have its very well appreciated American Pie moments (premature loving) as well as its Kids moments (Free swinging teens), it was missing one crucial element: urban realism. Where were the black and brown characters? The REAL slang talking hoods that were dipped down in the Tommy Hil polo’s, Polo jeans, Nautica buckets, Timbs and JanSport bookbags – youknowwhati’msayin’! I was one of them, fool! We used to get it poppin’! You’re making a movie about hip-hop kids in NYC in 1994. At least keep it 100 with the culture. Oh that’s right, to people that ain’t grow up in the hood but are fascinated with the game, hip-hop is only music. At least that’s what I was once told. But to those who did grow up in the hood and lived it, hip-hop is a culture. So for our sake, just keep it real. But at the end of the film, I wasn’t mad. I ain’t spend a dime to see it and I was entertained. So to quote a good friend of mine: “Its the freeness. So its all good.”
54 Responses to “Movie Review: The Wackness”
Jul.2 at 2:29 pm
Eboy says:
O, with another classic joint.
Jul.2 at 2:30 pm
TADOne says:
Crazy Horse really made you crazy. Colt 45 didn’t have anything on it!
Jul.2 at 2:30 pm
Eboy says:
Choice lines of greatness: “But me having tested those kind of waters before knew that while they won’t dare shoot the five or ten with us two”
Jul.2 at 2:31 pm
Eboy says:
“he’s also now trying his best to woo Stephanie off her feet in hopes that she’ll end his virginal run a.k.a The AC Green Effect.”
Jul.2 at 2:32 pm
Eboy says:
“Why was Stephanie’s dog named Jesus Christ? Maybe cause the dog was white”
Jul.2 at 2:32 pm
O says:
I’m saying, did AC ever lose his own effect?
Jul.2 at 2:33 pm
Eboy says:
“an Olsen twin (She made Amy Winehouse look like the bill of health)” O is truly a legend.
Jul.2 at 2:33 pm
Eboy says:
I think he did once he lost the gherri curl for the low top fade?
Jul.2 at 2:33 pm
O says:
Eboy, i’m about to make you an apostel.
Jul.2 at 2:44 pm
Eboy says:
I’m saying, O, NOBODY does this movie game like you do. I laugh my ass off with some sh*t you say every time.
Jul.2 at 2:46 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
My viewpoint of the movie is different since i didn’t live in NY back then and only know of Guiliani as a fake hero and sheisty politician. But i do agree with O’s take of the movie backdrop.
I miss the music of that era, really do. I don’t want to sound like a cliche, speakin about the old days like they were especially better than now. Money wise, I was hurtin back then so i don’t miss those days quite to that level. But the quality of the music was better. Illmatic and Ready To DIe came out in 94, as did a lot of great music. I agree with O’s assesment of the movie, 3 and a half gangstas sounds about right (maybe even 3). It wasn’t a classic but it was decent even if the dude kept playing himself for that girl. She was cute but extremely loose, to the point of discouraging the dude to not strap up. I knew a chick like that back in the day. She was wild when i met her but when i was rockin with her i civilized her, made her a better woman. I heard she strips now but thats her business. Regardless its a cool flick so i suggest checkin it out.
Jul.2 at 2:50 pm
O says:
Damn Kha, you civilized a savage? I’m surprised you put that effort in. And you know it’s a problem in hip-hop when Lil Wayne is the hottest rapper.
Jul.2 at 2:54 pm
O says:
Eboy, the props are much appreciated.
Jul.2 at 2:55 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
I did man. Back then i was a lot more patient with girls. When i meet savage women now i barely even acknowledge their existence…and yeah Waybe is the hottest rapper only if you in fact hate rap music. Waiting patiently until the 15th when the GOAT drops his latest. Heard the intro yesterday. Very official….
Jul.2 at 2:57 pm
Navani says:
I was surprised to see the line full of w’s outside when I approached too. It took me off guard because I thought along the same wavelength as you - in an urban movie set in NYC with hip-hop as a back drop, there has to be some of our people present - but that was not the case. I still give the movie props for the Juno-esque writing and a soundtrack that had me reminiscing about being in high school again.
Thanks for the shout out O! But you put me on to the movie originally
Jul.2 at 2:57 pm
Eboy says:
No prob, O. And co-sign both of you on the state of the rap game.
Jul.2 at 2:58 pm
Holly MacKenzie says:
O, you make me laugh. And smile. And laugh some more. The AC Green line? The Jesus Christ line. Too many more lines to mention!! Great stuff. I doubt I’ll ever see this one since I watch maybe two movies a year, but LOVE your reviews!
Jul.2 at 2:59 pm
O says:
I hope Nas doesn’t drop a dud. And I’m surprised Sam hasn’t commented. With his Boston Public a$$!
Jul.2 at 3:01 pm
Eboy says:
LMAO!
Jul.2 at 3:06 pm
BETCATS says:
O!! You ae right on The Happening!! THat sh!t was g@y. Trees killing people? But i just saw Hanc0ck, which was great.
Jul.2 at 3:09 pm
O says:
The Happening was absolute trash music. I’ma start bubbling what Luke was bubbling in The Wackness and name my product The Happening. I’m iffy on Hanc0ck. Wanted was OFFICIAL though.
Jul.2 at 3:12 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Ha ha… great work as always. This movie looks like it hits waaaaaaay too close to home to my life in 1994.
Jul.2 at 3:12 pm
riggs says:
O’ i heard the advanced of the new album, im pretty much calling it unskippable all the way through.
Jul.2 at 3:14 pm
O says:
Unskippable huh? Now i’m a little antsy to hear the joint. Sam, what’s your subject gonna be again?
Jul.2 at 3:19 pm
BETCATS says:
O, Hanc0ck stays consitstanly funny and doesnt do the thing most movies do which is a transistion from funny to serious. And it had a good story line. It and the Zohan was the best movie of the summer for me, they had me laughing. Love Guru dissapointed. I will see this ‘Wackness’ when it gets down here, if it doesnt i will get it on that Netflix my neighbor got and watch it with him
Jul.2 at 3:27 pm
Rasheedionics says:
Betcats, where do you live? Siberia?
Jul.2 at 3:28 pm
BETCATS says:
close, Raleigh NC. The worse capital city of any state
Jul.2 at 3:34 pm
O says:
I don’t know Betcats, everyone telling me Zohan was hot trash on a cold street. Love Guru looked as dumb as they came. I wasn’t even wasting time on those commercials.
Jul.2 at 3:35 pm
TADOne says:
Co-sign about the state of the rap game. I don’t even bother listening to the hip-hop station anymoreunless it is old-school night. Nas will be only the 2nd album i’ll buy this year (The Roots being the other).
Jul.2 at 3:35 pm
Ben Osborne says:
O has got to be the best movie reviewer in the world. I fell blessed that he writes for us, but bitter than no one with more $ than Slamonline hasn’t scooped him up. If the movie is half as good as this review I need to see it this weekend.
Jul.2 at 3:39 pm
TADOne says:
O, you need to do a review of The Dark Knight.
Jul.2 at 3:40 pm
O says:
I only listen to mixtapes and old school albums. That’s why these young Bloods in my hood call me O’ School. And Ben, thanks for even letting me rock on this site. You a good a$$ friend, dunn. You know I’ma hold you down whenever you in the hood.
Jul.2 at 3:43 pm
O says:
Tadone, you think i AIN’T gonna review The Dark Knight? I’m all over that. Only reason i ain’t review The Happening was because it was so extremely lame that It would’ve been a one paragraph review. It would’ve been 1.5 Gangstas and a summary of why it sucked.
Jul.2 at 3:53 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
what about the new x files movie?
Jul.2 at 3:57 pm
O says:
I’ma definitely see it. I loved the X-Files. But from what I’ve heard, Mulder and Scully’s role will be limited. The purpose of the movie is to set up the new FBI agents who’ll star in the new X-Files series. I think Xzibit is gonna be one of them. A FBI agent with braids. That just doesn’t seem plausible.
Jul.2 at 3:58 pm
TADOne says:
For movies that suck, you need to have a Crazy Horse rating system, like how many Crazy Horses would you have to drink before the movie becomes bearable. Like The Happening would get 3.5 Crazy Horses before it got bearable.
Jul.2 at 4:03 pm
BETCATS says:
O the Zohan had its moments that made me laugh so hard that it made up for its overall werid storyline.
Jul.2 at 4:09 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
“fbi agent with braids..that just doesn’t seem plausible”….LOL!
Jul.2 at 4:24 pm
Slick Nick Da Ruler says:
Thanks O, your reviews are instant classics.
Jul.2 at 4:26 pm
Allenp says:
I like Wayne. But, he does not compare to old school cats. However, I think he gets a lot of hate just because the game is weak right now. If this was back in the day and he was a minor, but respected player in the rap game there would be a lot less hate coming at him.
Jul.2 at 4:36 pm
O says:
Wayne is a simple lyricist. He says clever things here and there but ultimately says nothing. And all that thug talk and hustling bricks make him look stupid. He was a rapper since 12 years old. That’s like one of the dudes from Kriss Kross making a comeback talking about being a gangsta and no one questioning it. He got clever metaphors and lyrics, but he still just an act to me.
Jul.2 at 5:24 pm
BETCATS says:
Wayne is bigger than music. In this day and age, nobody could sell 100 000 000 albums anywhere. Lyricaly smart cats like Lupe and Common and The Roots cant do it; but Wayne can. Thats what seperates him.
Jul.2 at 6:53 pm
Jake Appleman says:
O, psyched to see this flick. Been hearin about it for awhile due to some ties to the cast. While I can easily see how the w-ebonics dismayed an OG from way back when, I’m wondering if the dialogue sounding forced was kind of the point;it being 1994, and the kids being posh and white and all. I’m sure that point will become crystallized when I see it. As always, sweet review.
Jul.2 at 7:52 pm
Yunki says:
O you finally posted again! Great stuff as always
Jul.2 at 11:04 pm
Dacre says:
cant wait for it to hit cinemas in australia around 2011.
Jul.3 at 1:26 am
jrparrett14 says:
O, even with that slight generosity you’re sending wayne’s way, you’re probably still giving him more credit then he deserves. And I dont think most logical people think he’s the best, its just another mtv/bet brainwash that younger kids seem to fall for, in 03 a lot of kids would have swore on their lives that 50 Cent was the best out….For me, it’s Hov until he’s “officially” done….followed closely by Com, Black Thought, and Mr. Nasir….who’s album seems to be shaping up very nicely, it already leaked!
Jul.3 at 1:28 am
jrparrett14 says:
Oh yeah O, I KNOW your gonna review The Dark Knight, right?!? Not that I need anyone to tell me how gutter its gonna be, I just want some more classic lines from you.
Jul.3 at 3:45 am
KA says:
lol at 2 black dudes stepping up the front of the line. omar and kha should be in a movie together.
Jul.3 at 10:33 am
Jesus says:
I’m there.
Jul.3 at 11:31 am
Khalid Salaam says:
O is Latino…
Jul.3 at 1:48 pm
O says:
Yeah KA, it would’ve been a black man and a Latino man cutting to the front. Which would’ve scared everyone like “OMG! THEY are uniting…”
Jul.3 at 5:07 pm
jdubbs says:
“I’m headless. No mind. I can say ‘Don’t rhyme,’ and it’s gone rhyme.”
Lil’ Wayne is great. He has waaay to much out that’s just ok to mediocre, but I can easily think of 20-25 songs that are all time classics; about the same as Jay-Z or Nas. Da Carter II is sick and almost all freestyles. Go DJ is in my top 5 of all rap songs.
Jul.3 at 5:22 pm
ciolkstar says:
I’ve only read a few reviews from O but they’ve all been isightful and funny as sh*t. This might sound dumb but I’ve been thinking about why no one has made a movie looking at the early-mid ninties through the lens of all the amazing hgiphop coming out at that time. setting it in NYC was smart, but it def sounds like there are some concessions made to appeal to “popular film” audiences. I still want a documentary about 1990-1994 and its only about hip hop and hoops. Forget the therapist and his wifey.
Jul.3 at 5:26 pm
ciolkstar says:
Wayne can be nice but only in small doses. And sorry, but Weezy bragging about not writing rhymes is like Bush bragging about not reading newspapers. Most of his isht is too repetitive and gets all caught up on really simple wordplay, but every once in a while he does spit an extremely hot bar. I myself prefer some of his mixtapes to any of the Carters which mostly feel like radio isht to me.