LeBron, Try Wearing Your Shoe!
A heartfelt letter from the sole.
What’s up LeBron,
It’s us. Your sneakers. Just about the entire line is here: me, (the Zoom Generation), LBJ two, three and five. The four…well, we’ll get to that soon enough.
In the meantime, hey man, congrats on another dope season. We know it didn’t end the way you wanted it to, but that Game 7 duel with Paul Pierce was another chapter in your legacy. Maybe it’ll be documented on the LBJ ten. With the direction you’re headed, we think something like that would be kind of fitting. Really, you have no idea how many nights we sit in your closet and talk about these kinds of things. It’s a great way to burn up the hours. There’s a lot of them.
You know, sometimes I sit and look at my siblings and marvel at how far the line has come in just five seasons. In the same token, I can’t believe it’s been five seasons already. It feels like just yesterday you had me on your feet while you promised bigger and better things for the fans of Cleveland at the end of your rookie year. No doubt, you’ve lived up to the promise.
You can probably tell by the tone of this thing that we’re not just here to pat you on the back about your career and crack jokes about how flamboyant the Fruity Pebbles are. No, we’re here about something much more serious. LeBron, we’re feeling pretty neglected over here.
Maybe we should have spoken up sooner than this. Maybe we should have said something when you ditched the LBJ II for the 20-5-5 when you got to the playoffs for the first time. We would have, but we thought we were back on common ground when you wore the LBJ III through the post-season a year later. Somewhere along the way, it seems like we’ve lost touch with each other. Something’s broken down with us, and it’s only gotten worse over the last two years. We can’t figure it out. Every time an opportunity has presented itself, you’ve bailed on your signature sneaks when the spotlight is at its brightest.
Think about it: your playoff debut, you go with some white and gold 20-5-5’s. Your first trip to the Finals, you wear Zoom Soldiers. This year, the Game 7 showdown with Paul Pierce, same thing. Even the Vogue cover—a fashion magazine cover, man—and you wear your Zoom Soldier II? What’d we do wrong?
And of course, there’s the kicker, the worst date: May 31st, 2007. You go for 48 points, nine rebounds and seven dimes against Detroit in Game 5 of the East Final (see photo - Ed.). You scored 25 of the Cavs’ 29 last points in one of the greatest performances in NBA Playoffs history, ever. And what did you have on your feet? The Zoom Soldier I. What. The. F*ck.
That’s like pushing your kids hard through school all year, then taking your nieces and nephews to Disneyland when summer vacation rolls around. We haven’t seen the four since the day after that Game 5 performance. All that was left in his place in the closet was a statement. We’ve read it, King, and it’s harsh. But we’ve got to say, all things considered, the four is right.
“LeBron: I know I was heavy. I worried that you wouldn’t wear me when the season started, but I thought you grew accustomed to me; grew to love me a little, even. I don’t want to sound egotistical here, but from an aesthetic point, I’m the best of the bunch. Then the playoffs come around and you dump me for the Zoom Soldier? F*ck that, LeBron. Was it my weight? I’m not that heavy. I mean, sh*t, you carried that sorry-ass team all the way to the Finals, and you couldn’t make room on the bus for me? Nah, man, that’s wrong. That’s some f*cked up sh*t.”
End statement.
Our main concern here is legacy, LeBron. Everyone remembers Jordan at the peak moments of his career wearing a specific sneaker. In ’89, it was the Jordan four when he hit The Shot against Cleveland; in 1995-96, he wore the eleven the whole way through the season. The guy only wore the fourteen once, but it was in the biggest moment of his entire career. Do you see what we mean?
What’s going to happen in 10 or 15 years when you’re taking part in your last all-star game? Will all the young bucks wear Zoom Soldiers as a tribute to you? Will Robert Horry wear a pair of retro 20-5-5’s in the 2023 NBA Finals? Will anyone remember what the LBJ III looked like in five years’ time? Does anyone remember right now?
We need some answers, King. Mike treated his signature line better than you do. So did VC and Penny Hardaway, even though their lines are more memorable than they are today. As sneakers, we’re getting the groupie treatment here. You take us out and wine and dine us for 82 games and then when all your boys come around and you know everyone’s watching, we’re stuck at home, watching you do everything for your team on TV.
Look, man. The six is coming out in October and when he gets here he’ll ask the same questions that we all did when we got here. We’d just like to be up front with him. We don’t want to find him gone the morning after you lead the Cavs to the Promised Land in a pair of shoes that by all accounts, you should have your NBA subordinates playing in. You know, like Jordan did to Eddie Jones and Mike Finley with his team sneaks.
29 Responses to “LeBron, Try Wearing Your Shoe!”
Jul.21 at 3:50 pm
James the balla says:
first
Jul.21 at 3:54 pm
SeanB says:
first?
Jul.21 at 3:56 pm
Eboy says:
Lebron’s shoes are overrated. For real.
Jul.21 at 3:57 pm
Nick says:
aint that the damn truth
Jul.21 at 3:58 pm
iLL wiLL says:
Clunky chunky kicks.
Jul.21 at 4:12 pm
ghpl says:
That sh!t was funny, ROTFL I guess it’s the same ol for the Olympics ;]
Jul.21 at 4:13 pm
Ryan Jones says:
This is funny. And you might see the VI sooner than October…
Jul.21 at 4:18 pm
Chris O'Leary says:
Eboy, I can’t speak for the whole line but I loved the LeBron four and five. The four weighed a ton, but it was comfortable, and they fixed the weight issue with the five while keeping the technology that worked from the four in there.
Jul.21 at 4:19 pm
Chris O'Leary says:
Thanks Ryan. I had read about an Oct. release for the VI. What have you heard?
Jul.21 at 4:26 pm
Ryan Jones says:
My obvious bias toward the player in question aside, I think the Zoom Generation was a great debut shoe, and I think the IV’s are amazing. As for what I’ve heard.. check your Facebook page.
Jul.21 at 4:36 pm
Eboy says:
Chris, the shoes are way too bulky for my taste. For the best player of this current generation he needs a shoe that meets the same standard. Maybe once he meets his next destination spot (NYC/Brooklyn), he’ll get a shoe made that can be considered “legendary”.
Jul.21 at 4:37 pm
Ben Osborne says:
Yeah, let’s just say we’re amongst the first to know all about the VI, and those of you in Slamonlinenation won’t be far behind. And you won’t be disappointed.
Jul.21 at 5:39 pm
Baz says:
yo man spill the info on tha vi… LOL. wanna no tha info n if there gunna b good.
Jul.21 at 7:00 pm
Is It The Shoes!!!!!!!!! says:
Why does Lebron get away with taking four step???? anybody got the answer.
Jul.21 at 7:00 pm
Is It The Shoes!!!!!!!!! says:
Why does Lebron get away with taking four step???? anybody got the answer.
Jul.21 at 7:52 pm
thesubwayconnection says:
Hahaha. Another great one, Chris. This has been discussed by myself and some of my other sneaker fiends recently. Why is that? The Lakers, too. Kobe rocks Hyperdunks while the team wears his signature joints. ?
Jul.21 at 8:42 pm
floe says:
cross marketing ?
Jul.21 at 9:31 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Loved the Zoom Generation and the LeBron II, the rest, not so much. But hell, he’s like a bigger, faster Barkley. Dude needs some serious shoes.
Jul.21 at 10:01 pm
agent 4 says:
first up lebrons a beast and his shoes are overrate like dont sweat him becuse his shoes are overrated
Jul.21 at 10:01 pm
agent 4 says:
first up lebrons a beast and his shoes are overrate like dont sweat him becuse his shoes are overrated
Jul.21 at 10:27 pm
John D says:
Minor detail but Mike wore the XIV more than once. I don’t remember the exact game that he first wore them but it was in the Finals but before Game 6.
Jul.21 at 11:05 pm
Chris O'Leary says:
Russ, I never wore the first few sneaks, but I really liked the LBJ four and five, despite the four’s weight. @John D: did Mike wear the XIV more than once? I remember him switching up with the XIII lows a lot in the playoffs that year, but from what I remember, I only saw the XIV in game six.
Jul.22 at 8:02 am
James Posey: Head (And Wallet) Trumped Heart « RedsArmy.com: The Voice Of Celtics Fans says:
[…] And LeBron’s shoes have a message for him […]
Jul.22 at 12:15 pm
Jazz Man says:
That was pure C-O-M-E-D-Y!!!!!! It’s true though and besides that his shoes are too heavy just like the T-Mac’s normally are. What happened to back the shoes like back in the day when they were normally 14-16 oz(Max)!!! Now the shoes are so heavy they don’t put the oz’s on display (so you buy them first and then figure out you should have done a few more squats and calf raises to wear them). As I always end my comments….SLAM step the shoe game up and stop doing reviews on a shoe that you know in your heart is not relevant (ie:Adidas Streetball 08, Nike Air Believe Force Low and etc.) I’ll be waiting for the hyperdunks review though!!!!!
Jul.22 at 2:51 pm
John D says:
Hmm I’m trying to find some pics or something. I could be wrong but I thought he wore them more than once.
Jul.22 at 2:57 pm
John D says:
I found pics of him in the black/red XIII mid for a game in Utah and a PE version of the XIII low that was black with white pods like the mids for a game in Chicago. And if I remember correctly he wore a PE all black XIII low with red soles for a game. So I could be wrong about the XIV.
Jul.22 at 3:54 pm
Chris O'Leary says:
I think I remember at the start of either game 5 or 6 of the Finals that year, Jordan walked into the arena (they showed it on TV as the broadcast started) wearing black/white XIV’s, then wore something different in the actual game. That was ten years ago though, so I could be wrong too.
Jul.22 at 7:49 pm
Deuce21 says:
I still wear my Zoom Solider Ones for ball, best shoes I’ve had in 5 years, but they are defiantly more of a big man shoe.
Jul.23 at 10:22 am
Holly MacKenzie says:
Worth the wait for this piece, Chris O. Love the “we sit in your closet and talk for hours about these things”. Haha fun piece. And while I’ve never worn the things, Bron’s ARE ridiculously heavy. But what do I know?