Jamario Moon’s New Nickname
Hint: It’s cheap and underrated.
I was in the Raptors locker room after their win Friday night against the Knicks and I noticed something I never had before. Many, if not all, of the nametags above the lockers included middle names. By far, the most interesting middle name belonged to Jamario Moon: Ramen. That’s right, Jamario Ramen Moon.
“Like Ramen Noodles?” I asked
“No like Raymond,” he said.
It was then Anthony Parker and I decided his new nickname should be Ramen Noodles—or “Noodles” for short—for two reasons.
1) My reasoning seasoning: Moon was, and still is to some extent, underestimated and overlooked. He’s also incredibly inexpensive for the value he provides. Moreover, Moon came out of nowhere to take the NBA by storm; Ramen Noodles came out of nowhere to packetize the soup game.
2) AP’s reasoning seasoning: He is stringy thin like Ramen Noodles
(Sidenote: Since Lang is reportedly amazing at cooking Ramen Noodles, does this mean that if he was coaching the Raptors he’d be able to get more out of Moon than Sam Mitchell? I can just see it now…”Chris Bosh, you’ve got to realize that your job is to get the ball to Ramen Noodles. And if Noodles isn’t open, you’re going to have to kick it back out to Jose and have Noodles re-post; either that or find him up top for an ISO.”)
By the way, it warrants mentioning that the Raptors are—at least it would appear—a fun squad filled with good personalities: Moon, Parker, Jose Calderon, Jorge Garbajosa (unfortunately injured), Chris Bosh, Darrick Martin, Carlos Delfino and Kris Humphries, to name a few almost the entire team. Humphries seems to have, dare I say, Scott Pollard-esque untapped comedy potential. Come on Kris, YOUTUBE awaits!
The one real exception to this vibrant, selfless vibe the Raptors give off is Andrea Bargnani. A confidant in the know described Bargnani as having less conversational personality than a chair. Ouch. At least he fits the international mold of the team.
25 Responses to “Jamario Moon’s New Nickname”
Jan.14 at 4:30 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I’m trying to decide whether it’s ironic that you noticed this at MSG.
Jan.14 at 4:31 pm
white hot eboy says:
Horrible.
Jan.14 at 4:32 pm
Jake Appleman says:
eboy, your last M&A deal was horrible. this was fun!
Jan.14 at 4:38 pm
d.Y. says:
Yes.
Jan.14 at 4:52 pm
crazylee12 says:
Noodles works, especially due to jamario’s uncanny resemblance to the “Spaghetti-o’s” man.
*note: unCANny pun not intended, but upon realization, it should never the less be appreciated.
Jan.14 at 4:52 pm
white hot eboy says:
Should I know what M & A means? And I didn’t mean your piece, I meant the nickname.
Jan.14 at 5:00 pm
Jake Appleman says:
oh, you’re a lawyer. i thought you were an investment banker for a second. nevermind. and the nickname is the piece.
Jan.14 at 5:07 pm
white hot eboy says:
Touchy, touchy, Mr. Appleman. Geez. Actually, everything after the first paragraph was really just an explanation of the nickname, no with your own embellishments? It was all good of course, the nickname itself was the problem to this reader. I feel like I should write a letter to the mag, to qualify this.
Jan.14 at 5:13 pm
Gerard Himself says:
I’m just glad Jamario’s nickname isn’t “Full” ; now that would be cheap.
Jan.14 at 5:25 pm
nothin personal says:
The Ram would sound better, and it’s more catchy (I think).
Jan.14 at 6:02 pm
what says:
You think Jamario Moon’s middle name is strange… go check out Yahoo Sports D-league blogger Rod Benson’s middle name
Jan.14 at 7:12 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
In that Ghostface book there’s an extensive chapter on how to prepare ramen with all kinds of foods. Ramen as a side noodle, not just a soup. I think it’s because it costs like 39 cents a package.
Jan.14 at 7:40 pm
FLUXLAND says:
I thought his new nickname is Apollo 33!?
Jan.14 at 9:11 pm
Bryant Reeves says:
His nickname should be “the red eye”
Jan.14 at 9:14 pm
Boing Dynasty says:
The Alabama Slama
Jan.14 at 10:47 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Eboy, just messin’ with you.
Jan.14 at 11:36 pm
fishbowl says:
“Apollo 33″ is the best nickname for Jamario, as this guy gets some serious air. If not “Apollo 33″, “Super Jamario” seems to be getting some deserved attention. Moon should be a treat at the dunk competition. They should have a block competition. He probably win that for sure.
Jan.15 at 12:59 am
Myles Brown says:
I enjoyed this.
Jan.15 at 1:47 am
Chris says:
“packetize the soup game” phrases like this is why you write for slam and I don’t. Too Funny.
Jan.15 at 5:28 am
peteb80 says:
After watching the Euro Championships last fall I came to the firm conclusion that Calderon and Garbajosa are whiny beeotches, masters of the flop&complain, like most Spanish athletes. I don’t like their personalities.
Jan.15 at 8:41 am
Jimmy2k8 says:
His Nickname is Moonshine!!!!!! www.jamariomoonshine.com
Jan.15 at 9:41 am
mat smith says:
monosodiumglutamate, lol, your funny dude….
Jan.15 at 10:40 am
The King says:
A guy named Jamario Ramen Moon does not need a nickname whereas a guy named Daniel Gibson does
Jan.15 at 12:45 pm
Jimmy2k8 says:
Raptors.com had a poll and over 20000 people voted. Moonshine won. Have any of you people even seen the guy play or only youtube highlights. Just asking because Raptors games are never televised nationally. They had their first and only nationally televised game this year. Their first one in 5 years. www.jamariomoonshine.com
Jan.16 at 9:36 am
Gumdrop says:
My most sincere respect goes out to you on this one Jake, Noodles is a kick a$$ nickname. The only other one I’ve heard that comes close is Jamario Speedwagon.