Portland Trailblazers Season Preview
Injured franchise centers. It takes one to know one.
By Lang Whitaker and “Bill Walton”
For the rest of our season previews, go here.
With one franchise center injured, we thought it would be best to speak to the O.G. of injured franchise centers. Previewing the Portland Trailblazers in three 3 minute cuts is the legendary, the Hall of Famer “Bill Walton.”
This interview was recorded before the announcement was made that the big readhead would be teaming with Stu Scott and Stephen A. Smith. Seeing as how he is the biggest star of the three, we felt he deserved his own platform to speak. Click on the audio clips to listen.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
39 Responses to “Portland Trailblazers Season Preview”
Oct.26 at 11:47 am
Rob Paxon says:
Hahaha this is amazing… possibly the most fantastic interview in print to internet sports media history.
Oct.26 at 11:48 am
H to the izzo says:
Wow
Oct.26 at 11:48 am
white hot eboy says:
Do we get a prize if we guess who is doing Bill’s voice?
Oct.26 at 11:53 am
white hot eboy says:
This should be a new SLAMonline feature. I can see myself posing as Rick Bucher interviewing Bodie as Kobe. Great lead-in this moring by Sam, continuing the charade with Ben and Lang’s straight-man work, fantastic.
Oct.26 at 11:59 am
Myles Brown says:
Best preview EVAR.
Oct.26 at 12:08 pm
white hot eboy says:
When does the eulogy come for Lang’s long lost brother Lukasz Orbrzut being cut by the Pacers?
Oct.26 at 12:10 pm
Myung says:
=)
Oct.26 at 12:11 pm
mutoni says:
that was brilliant on so many levels. congrats, sam, er, bill….
Oct.26 at 12:11 pm
H to the izzo says:
ThisSHH was an preview of epic proportionSHH
Oct.26 at 12:14 pm
H to the izzo says:
a preview*.Even gods make mistakes
Oct.26 at 12:32 pm
Jake Appleman says:
if i had a show, i would love to have bill walton on it.
Oct.26 at 1:03 pm
Cheryl says:
Amazing, and hilarious. Thanks for this one, fellas.
Oct.26 at 1:08 pm
Rob Paxon says:
The best part was the Woodstock/Altamont analogy. Just had to let that be known.
Oct.26 at 1:11 pm
albie1kenobi says:
that was heroic. i’m gonna nominate this piece for an emmy.
Oct.26 at 1:26 pm
jj says:
So far this year we’ve seen previews wirtten by slamonline readers, a prisoner, now this! THE MOST AMAZING SEASON PREVIEWS ever. Just had to let you know. Keep it up!
Oct.26 at 1:42 pm
Chou says:
Was waiting for him to scream WHOOOOOO like Ric Flair.
Oct.26 at 1:44 pm
Chou says:
“Get Darius with you!” Hahaha.
Oct.26 at 2:04 pm
Captain America says:
Lang, I was going to guess Bill W. too. The ugliest baller of all time with ugly offspring. I enjoy Bill’s humor though. Good get.
Oct.26 at 2:06 pm
Captain America says:
Did Bill breathe some helium?
Oct.26 at 2:12 pm
Captain America says:
Lang, you final question was supreme.
Oct.26 at 2:41 pm
nic says:
y’all done lost your flood-addled minds…
Oct.26 at 3:15 pm
416 says:
isnt steve blake on denver
Oct.26 at 4:55 pm
Joel O's says:
This is brilliant. This year’s team previews truly tops even last year’s “50 best players” feature you guys had.
Oct.26 at 5:33 pm
jbn74sb says:
Great work guys.
For those who haven’t seen it, click on my name to see a pic of Lew Alcindor, my pops, and he who Sam is channelling.
For reference of how tall these dudes are, pops is 6′8″.
Oct.26 at 5:34 pm
jbn74sb says:
My bad. Here’s the pic.
Oct.26 at 6:10 pm
Hugs says:
Hey! That can’t have been Bill Walton. He didn’t mention Bobby Gross!
Oct.26 at 6:32 pm
vmcb says:
Man,how’d you guys get Walton?
Oct.26 at 8:44 pm
RV says:
i swear I heard a little Marv Albert in there
Oct.26 at 9:17 pm
jbn74sb says:
I thought the exact same thing, RV. Watch out, Sam will bite you too.
Oct.27 at 3:38 am
chronically_ill says:
Wow! Brilliant!”He was like Woodstock, the promise, the festival, the celebration of life…” I cant stop laughing, it hurts so much
Oct.27 at 7:20 am
lakernutrider says:
tradd kobe for oden. do it mitch
Oct.27 at 11:12 am
Ben Osborne says:
INCREDIBLE!! Thanks guys.
Oct.27 at 4:11 pm
mcnugget says:
walton is THE MAN
Oct.27 at 5:21 pm
BETCATS says:
dear slamonline,
i would like to say peace. I am going to make my own website and will post a link when i am done. Until that day i shall not return. Thanks for all the good times. Its been a great 4 years that i have been here
Oct.28 at 3:11 am
Holly MacKenzie says:
this is why I love Slam.
Awesome!!
Oct.28 at 9:50 pm
Bryce says:
“damon stoudemire is actually a political prisoner”…”but its important to never forget about the 1977 season”…so classic
Oct.29 at 8:26 am
Sam Rubenstein says:
glad people enjoyed. If I had to nitpick my own performance, I’d say it is almost unforgivable that I didn’t invoke the name Coach Wooden. Yes, in a near perfect performance that one blemish shall haunt me for the rest of my life. Much like when UCLA was upset by Notre Dame, and Digger Phelps ruined the great redhead’s life.
Oct.29 at 10:35 am
David says:
Really funny. Great idea. You guys have the most interesting preview for any sport, in any season - I’m very impressed. Clearly not afraid to be creative. Thanks.
Oct.29 at 11:51 am
JR says:
this is the greatest preview since slava medvedenko….?