Links: Thanks and Help
Growing up and staffing out…
We begin today with a bit of good news. (Hey, it’s Monday, when good news is always looked upon favorably. Particularly by Falcons fans.)
On Friday afternoon, I took Sam and our two SLAMonline summer interns, Ben Collins and Jon Weiner, out to lunch. As we sat there at Le Bernadin, I took a long, thoughtful glance around the table. It wasn’t so long ago that SLAMonline was a one-man show, when if I didn’t update The Links using Dreamweaver, guile and as much patience as I could muster, SLAMonline wasn’t getting updated.
Now, I realized, we’ve got a full-fledged team working on this site. OK, so we’re not much of a crack technical team — I’m sure the basketball staff at ESPN.com would take us in a battle royale, only because they’d have a huge personnel advantage; and also because Chris Sheridan, when angered, is a man possessed — but the four of us definitely know way more about football and baseball than any other basketball site. We also all have really good attitudes. Except for Collins. (To the left is a picture I snapped the other day of Sam explaining some technical mumbo-jumbo to Jon.)
Anyway, what made me appreciate our staff even more was some news I was recently given: For the month of July, SLAMonline.com had our biggest month, ever. And I don’t mean in terms of just hits, although we had more hits in July than we ever had. I’m talking about the holy grail of internet statistics: unique users. Which means that even though Ryan Jones and White Hot Eboy each must log onto SLAMonline 1,000 times a day to make sure they are the most recent person to comment on any given post, for the purposes of unique users, they each count as one hit. Not to mention that July, August and September are usually our slowest months as far as visitors go.
This means more new people than ever are logging on and checking out SLAMonline.com. And for that, I want to say thank you to you the readers, whether you’ve been down with us since The Links went live back in July of 2001 or you just started checking out all of our great content. We’re still working on the site, trying to make it better and more interactive and timely, not because we want it to be better for us, but because we want to make it better for you guys.
So, thanks again. For real.
Now, with that out of the way, my other motive in posting this was to tell you that we need your help. The actual reason for our online lunch was to observe the impending departures of Collins and Jon, who are each about to head back off to school for their fall semesters, each hopefully wiser and better at moderating comments in a Word Press blog. And with them gone, we need a couple of new interns.
The qualifications are pretty simple: know a lot about basketball; be willing to come into the SLAM Dome a couple of days each week; be willing work hard and work free. That’s about it — we’ll teach you everything else you need to know. You’ll be able to write for the site and the magazine, and if you keep your head down and your eyes up, you may be able to turn your internship into a job one of these days (Sam, stand up).
If you are interested, email me by clicking on my name at the top. And if you know someone that might be interested, let them know about it. It’s the toughest job they’ll ever love. Or something like that.
100 Responses to “Links: Thanks and Help”
Aug.13 at 11:44 am
Ryan Jones says:
First?
Aug.13 at 11:45 am
Ryan Jones says:
Take that, eboy, you piece of sh*t!
Aug.13 at 11:46 am
Ryan Jones says:
I f*ckin’ rule.
Aug.13 at 11:51 am
SA says:
Is Ryan a shut-in?
Aug.13 at 11:52 am
mutoni says:
i’m guessing ryan had one too many pots of coffee this morning.
Aug.13 at 11:58 am
Ryan Jones says:
I drink tea. I also sit at a computer from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. and am easily distracted. Mostly, though, I just don’t like to disappoint people.
Aug.13 at 11:58 am
white hot eboy says:
Lang calling me out in the same breath as the “fruity Farmer’ is something I can’t overlook. I will take my “unique” user ID with me and set up shop somewhere else. That’s all we are to you, Lang, just “unique” user ID’s? Who else could provide such unique ctchphrases as play wit it, or ASPOV? Methinks, NO ONE!!! Where else can one boring summer-time basketball thread turn into a discussion of the nuances of the Simpsons, the genius of Beavis and Butthead or the power of the Transformers? I think you are short changing us, kind sir!!
Aug.13 at 12:00 pm
white hot eboy says:
Or maybe not. I was so excited to be listed in the same sentence as Ryan that I didn’t take the whole “thanks for everything” comments to heart. And I don’t log-in a thousand times, Lang, it’s more like I leave my browser open to Slamonline all-day and have another window open for the periphery stuff that doesn’t really matter.
Aug.13 at 12:00 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Today would be normally be Jon’s day to moderate comments. There are 1,015 potential comments now waiting. I miss you already Jon.
Aug.13 at 12:01 pm
Ben Collins says:
Excuse me, Lang, but I blame that attitude on the way you consistently mispronounce umbrella, thank you very much. But, yeah, it looks like we have one of those real, actually trafficked websites all of a sudden. I attribute this to Chukaz relative silence.
Aug.13 at 12:02 pm
white hot eboy says:
Oh and Ryan, I’m just a “poster” here. Not a Slam employee. So, while Lang’s comment about me was a back-handed insult, at least he thought to speak my name, you sorry-ass bastard! But I do love you guys, regardless of my crappy stature here.
Aug.13 at 12:12 pm
Cheryl says:
I would love the internship, if I lived in the NYC. But I’m sure there are a number of folks that will be flooding your inbox real soon, Lang. And I must say, this is the most read website of my 9-5 day, and if at some point, my employers check to see how much time I spend “surfing”, I will certainly be looking for a job with Slam. Do you accept walk-ins? Don’t be surprised to see a “mad black woman” with a resume in hand in your lobby in the next few months. And that, dear sir, is ASPOV!
Aug.13 at 12:15 pm
Ryan Jones says:
UM-brella. Yeah, that sh*t used to throw me off every time I heard it, Collins.
Aug.13 at 12:17 pm
Ryan Jones says:
And much as it pains me to agree with you, eboy, I do the same thing — open slamonline at 8 a.m., and leave it open all day, checking in every few secon, er, minutes to see what’s new and who I can harrass. Almost always, it’s you.
Aug.13 at 12:18 pm
Cheryl says:
eboy and i are beginning to sound alike, other than the Ryan you’re an a$$hole stuff… I happen to appreciate Ryan very much…
Aug.13 at 12:24 pm
white hot eboy says:
Thanks, man. I feel like the unwanted after-birth from the loins of the SLAM Dome. I think I may change screen names and appear here periodically and just comment on all things non-Heat related. F*ck Eboy, f*ck him where he sleeps.
Aug.13 at 12:24 pm
H to the izzo says:
Lang,I’m interested thats assuming Slam is willing to pay for my flights to and from every few days.And Ben,if you think the UM-Brella thing is funny I’m sure you’ll have hours of fun listenin to me talk
Aug.13 at 12:27 pm
SA says:
Since the new interns aren’t getting paid anyway, you should allow (or force) them to post new content on the weekend. Either that, or open it up to Ryan and Eboy, maybe they can have AIM convos about a random topic, and post it here as the weekened content. First topic, real men drink tea.
Aug.13 at 12:27 pm
Ryan Jones says:
“the unwanted after-birth from the loins of the SLAM Dome”
If we ever do give eboy his own column, I’m pretty sure we know what to call it.
Aug.13 at 12:33 pm
SA says:
Afterbirth (noun):
the placenta and fetal membranes expelled from the uterus after a birth
Aug.13 at 12:37 pm
white hot eboy says:
SA, I think us “lowly” posters should take up the weekend cause because I swing by Saturday & Sundays a few times a day and rarely seee anything or anyone punching keys. If we can have something interesting to speak about on the weekend, Monday mornings on the site won’t be so boring until the “lazy” SLAM guys get off their asses and provide us our new fix…er, uhm, content.
Aug.13 at 12:41 pm
white hot eboy says:
Et tu, SA? Appreciate the medical definition. That’s me, the human piece of afterbirth. Thanks for the love.
Aug.13 at 12:56 pm
SA says:
haha, no worries. Afterbirth is one of those horribly descriptive words, so I had to put the definition out there for those who may not be aware.
And refering to yourself as a human piece of afterbirth is just unconscionable.
Aug.13 at 12:58 pm
Ben Osborne says:
Eboy, glad you check on weekends. The last time weekend coverage was really warranted—the postseason—we were all over it with new posts everyday. And we’ll be like that in the future when events warrant. But these summer weekends have been way too uneventful to warrant people doing much extra work. Despite, or maybe because of, our different job situations (me being Editor-in-Chief of the magazine), there are actually work weeks when I don’t have time to read numerous new posts. So for me, the weekend is about catching up and making sure that by Monday I have read everything that went up on our site in the previous week. If you really are so on-point with your Slamonline reading that you don’t miss a single story, all I can say is that we’ll try to have more original weekend stuff in the future.
Aug.13 at 12:58 pm
white hot eboy says:
And good luck to the guys and girls who apply for the new intern jobs. It seems like just yesterday when Lang had Mr. Rubenstein coming through as a snot-nosed, wet behind the ears, lowly intern who has no blossomed into “The Watcher” and one of the huge pieces that make SLAM what it is today. For thirteen years I’ve been rolling with SLAM, so it’s nice to see it blowing up for all involved. I’ll hold out hope that someday, before Lebron or D-Wade make their “comebacks” at 38 or 45 years old, that I will someday provide the site with a column of my own along with the rest of the on-line family members who love this thing as much as I do. Ryan, in advance, whatever, bit*h!
Aug.13 at 12:59 pm
Ben Collins says:
By the way, those commenters whose voices go unheard may have a place to scream soon. (OOOOH CRYPTIC!)
Aug.13 at 1:01 pm
SA says:
On an unrelated note, didnt you guys get an advance copy of Madden? Can we expect a full SlamBowl recap soon??
Aug.13 at 1:04 pm
white hot eboy says:
Ben O, in between potty training missions, the 148th viewing of Toy Story and early morning ballin’, I NEED to come here to see if I can catch a laugh or two in between PIXAR viewings. (My son needs me to tell him every characters name with each viewing, even though he knows them better than me) When he turns three in October, he’s getting a job.
Aug.13 at 1:14 pm
SA says:
Ben, I dont think its a case of new content being warranted on weekends, but rather the existance of losers like Eboy and I who actually check the site on August weekends knowing full well that there’s nothing to be posted. Throw something up, Ryan’s list of perscriptions, Lang’s complaints, Sam challenging random New Yorkers to a foot race, give us something.
Also, The new interns first job should be to live-blog the SlamBowl.
Aug.13 at 1:28 pm
white hot eboy says:
SA, maybe we can play “poster” Marco/Polo on the weekends to see if anyone else is strolling through?
Aug.13 at 1:34 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Potty-training is a motherf*cker.
Aug.13 at 1:43 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
Haven’t received Madden yet. But you can be assured that Michael Vick will not be suspended in my Falcons season.
Aug.13 at 1:55 pm
white hot eboy says:
Lang, don’t do a roster update at any point, because your boy will magically disappear like Vick’s Dog Man did. EA was supposedly told that he will need to be removed if the suspension goes down.
Aug.13 at 2:00 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
It’s funny that SA was the first to mention the SLAM Bowl in this post about interns from out of nowhere. Coincidentally, the very first thing I was allowed to write for the old site was the recap of SLAM BOWL I. Until then I was the king of uploading. The internet was much less user-friendly back then. If I made a new banner for the front page, it was the official new look of the site for the next month.
Aug.13 at 2:00 pm
dpak says:
been reading the links daily since the story of spree and kidd’s (ex)wife.
my favorite 15 minutes of the day.
Aug.13 at 2:00 pm
white hot eboy says:
Sam, isn’t it wrong to bring up the Slam Bowl, especially in the Links? You were the consistent winner between the two of you.
Aug.13 at 2:00 pm
Isaiah says:
U gotta pay interns to be competitive man.
Aug.13 at 2:13 pm
Mongoose says:
Lang; are we going to get a madden08 review from you here or on SI? I want to know if it is worth upgrading from 06
Aug.13 at 2:21 pm
Kevin Wilson says:
As long as there are more moments like, “Bears come up to this window,” “I don’t even know a Mark” and Bob Weiss’ magic tricks I’ll keep coming.
Aug.13 at 2:50 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Le Bernadin was a joke, right?
Aug.13 at 2:56 pm
Young Chris #3 says:
Lang, did u ever get the PS3?
Aug.13 at 3:05 pm
Rasheedionics says:
I’m sure you guys already got a copy of madden 08… Can’t wait to hear your reactions.
Aug.13 at 3:26 pm
Stevie B says:
Keep it up guys…….damn still remember those days in England and France when I log on on the net at 7 in da morning just to look at the updates on the lang’s one man show/site
Aug.13 at 3:46 pm
Tariq says:
I would be happy to do some interning from over here in the 009661. That’s Riyadh, Saudi Arabia to you. (Yeah, I got hoes in different area codes). I can catch everyone up on the latest basketball news from around these parts, which would include a play-by-play of me renewing my subscription to Orbit, the local satellite sports channel provider. The only catch is I won’t accept any type of internship that doesn’t pay at least seven figures. My expertise is priceless.
Aug.13 at 3:47 pm
Tariq says:
And speaking of Madden, when the f*ck is Winning Eleven coming out on PS3 already?
Aug.13 at 4:00 pm
Co Co says:
Lang, I’ll be in New York for about 4 days in September. Sign me up!
Aug.13 at 4:03 pm
Rubens says:
hey Lqang if you ever need someone to update you on brazillikan soccer championship talk to me…
Aug.13 at 4:06 pm
white hot eboy says:
Yeah Lang, if you see a dark haired, goa-tee’d white guy roaming around, wearing something Heat related in mid-October with a toddler wearing the same, you’ll know there is an Eboy and baby Eboy sighting in your area. I can’t get the wife to jump on that train yet. That’s probably for the best. I’ll be family reconnecting in Jersey and Brooklyn for 10 days.
Aug.13 at 4:22 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: I challenge you to a duel, sir.
Aug.13 at 4:26 pm
white hot eboy says:
What are we dueling about, T?
Aug.13 at 4:29 pm
Tariq says:
Oh, don’t worry about. I’m just bored and decided to amuse myself in a non-getting-arrested kind of way. Oh, and f*ck Ryan.
Aug.13 at 4:30 pm
white hot eboy says:
I’m always up for a duel so now I’m disappointed.
Aug.13 at 4:32 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: I’ll try to hook you up with Zell Miller, which shouldn’t be too difficult. Unless the Celtics sign him first. And Ryan, please accept my sincerest apologies. The spirit of Eboy took a-hold of me. And it’s evil, very evil.
Aug.13 at 4:36 pm
Tariq says:
At the heart of Eboy there lies an inexplicable, incorrigible, inconceivable, impenetrable darkness.
Aug.13 at 4:37 pm
Tariq says:
I obviously need some Twix.
Aug.13 at 4:37 pm
white hot eboy says:
Does that make me like Samara from “The Ring” or more like Michael Vick?
Aug.13 at 4:39 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: I would say more like a cross between the chick from the Exorcist and Stephen A. Smith.
Aug.13 at 4:50 pm
white hot eboy says:
T, I always viewed myself more in the Michael Jordan/Musolini dictator-like, people can’t stand me, love me once they get to know me role.
Aug.13 at 4:52 pm
Tariq says:
It’s ok, we all have our delusions. Like until recently I always thought world peace was only possible through the supreme negotiating skills of Miss Teen America.
Aug.13 at 4:57 pm
white hot eboy says:
T, LOL.
Aug.13 at 4:58 pm
Tariq says:
Eboy: I know, I know.
Aug.13 at 5:01 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
@Russ: No, not a joke. I called my buddy Eric Ripert and he squeezed us in at the Chef’s Table.
Aug.13 at 5:04 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
marco
Aug.13 at 5:06 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
why would le bernadin be a joke? is it nasty? busy? where ron mexico keeps his backup dogs? —————————————==-=chocolate rain
Aug.13 at 5:18 pm
Tariq says:
Ok, since I have all you brilliant writers here, maybe someone can help me out. What is the plural of “confidant”? Bear in mind that “confidante” is feminine, so I’m wary of “confidantes”. Or else give me a less fruity way to say what I want to say. Come on, wordpress wizards!
Aug.13 at 5:30 pm
Tariq says:
Random piece of information of the week: The blue whale produces 400 gallons of semen per ejaculation. My record is 386.
Aug.13 at 5:30 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
tariq, i call those people “mightsnitch” cuz if you tell them too much…………………
Aug.13 at 5:30 pm
Tariq says:
I apologize. That was uncalled for.
Aug.13 at 5:32 pm
Tariq says:
Jesus: mightsnitches…hmm.. “Edward Garnett remained one of Joseph Conrad’s close mighsnitches.” That just might work.
Aug.13 at 5:35 pm
adrian says:
Tariq, wouldn’t it be confidants…?
Aug.13 at 5:36 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
400 seems like an awfully even for a blue whale
Aug.13 at 5:41 pm
Adrian says:
and you wonder why the ocean is salty….
Aug.13 at 5:44 pm
jay says:
my girlfriend is extremely interested for the internship, even AFTER i explained to her that she wont be getting any free tickets for any games, although she wants to meet Sam for some reason. i shouldnt have gotten her into SLAM. so Sam if you get comments on your posts` by this name that sound like they should not be coming from a guy, its definitely my gf.
Aug.13 at 5:47 pm
Tariq says:
Adrian: I don’t know…dictionary.com wasn’t any help. Forget it, I’ll just use Shuttlesworth’s highly-innovative term, costly as it may be to my academic and professional future.
Aug.13 at 5:52 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
thats right tariq, ride the dragon
Aug.13 at 5:53 pm
Adrian says:
Tariq, I’m about 99% sure that it’d be confidants, but I also prefer Jesus’ term haha.
Aug.13 at 5:59 pm
Tariq says:
Shuttlesworth– At the risk of regressing back to my 1995 self: I gotsta keep it real.
Aug.13 at 6:03 pm
jdubbs says:
hoops intern? maybe
how much you gonna pay me?
I might rhyme for cheddar
’cause I like scrilla better
or maybe be the office bookie
and takes bets like my man Donaghy
what? you want coffee?
(cough) me?
you got the wrong dude
you won’t appreciate my attitude
The first time Kobe goes for 60
and I’m bangin’ the office secretary
you’ll say “that’s it man-you gone”
and I’ll say, “just a minute…I’m almost done”
Aug.13 at 6:04 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
tariq, ???? fire marshall bill is my best friend
Aug.13 at 6:08 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
i immediately hate jdubbs. anyone with me?
Aug.13 at 6:17 pm
Tariq says:
Shuttlesworth: I’m with you
but that’s not the issue
the issue is we can all rhyme lamely
and lately
it seems that rappers blow like tissue
Bless you, Jesus.
Aug.13 at 6:19 pm
white hot eboy says:
jdubbs, The White Rapper auditions take place on VH1.com. And Tariq, if you’re gonna go retro, why not go with the old tried and true staple, “my peoples”.
Aug.13 at 6:20 pm
Adrian says:
I think that’s the first time I’ve cringed on someone else’s behalf since….hmm, probably since Chukaz was posting freely haha.
Aug.13 at 6:25 pm
white hot eboy says:
SLAMonline rap battle anyone? I would love to see BETCATS vs. Chukaz (if someone can find his little Mexican ass)as the opening battle. Hey, if the SLAM guys get footraces, we should have something ridicuosly funny, too.
Aug.13 at 6:27 pm
Adrian says:
Oh man, that’d make my day…scratch that, that’d make my whole month. General commentary by Ryan.
Aug.13 at 6:34 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
slamonline olympics?
Aug.13 at 7:09 pm
Tariq says:
I refuse to take part in any rap battles. Instead, I will focus on achieving my lifelong dream of winning a Latin Grammy for Best Dance Video.
Aug.13 at 7:14 pm
white hot eboy says:
Tariq, I kind of figured you had a little Ricky Martin in you. (You can view that statement in two different ways if you’d like)
Aug.13 at 7:15 pm
Tariq says:
OK: Maybe one rhyme: Call me, if you wish, a countrified lion,
But I still hesitate to say “F*ck Ryan”. Peace out, bitches. Ti quero Taco Bell.
Aug.13 at 7:34 pm
albert says:
i’ve been reading the links since hs…i still miss the old website (with the gray background…go back to it!!! darker colors save energy, check out the site i linked) you guys are, quite simply, the sh*t
Aug.13 at 8:02 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
thank you fat albert. send my condolences to mushmouth
Aug.13 at 8:06 pm
Tariq says:
I’ve been aware for quite a while of my status as “the sh*t”
Aug.13 at 8:57 pm
dma says:
i’d be interested if i wasnt 3000 miles away
Aug.14 at 7:06 am
Hisham says:
Tariq, are you saying that there are degrees of closeness in being a confidant? So person X could be a closer confidant than person Y? i’m confuuuuused
Aug.14 at 9:13 am
FLUD says:
I’d be mad into being an intern for half a day or somethin’… Van Halen have just announced their tour dates so I’ll be flyin’ to the Apple to rock balls. I should be able to spare half a day. seriously!
Aug.14 at 10:35 am
Ben Osborne says:
Not sure about tickets, but interns will get credentials (which, considering the access and responsibility, is a lot more exciting than tickets) to numerous Knick and Net games if they’re interested.
Aug.14 at 1:45 pm
jay says:
lang - you the man. love getting the scoop from ya! yeah getting pumped for team usa and on a serious note, i am sorry for ya about mike vick. i think he is getting railroaded..hard core!!!
Aug.14 at 8:13 pm
BETCATS says:
Lang and you dont even mention me?
Aug.15 at 1:30 am
TC says:
time for a raise maybe? As the site becomes more popular than ever, I wonder if the sales of the magazine is doing as well as the site.
Aug.15 at 5:04 pm
GSTAPHIL says:
Youre welcome, and congratulations on the success. Been logging on since you launched and can remember when the links was just the scroll in the mag…Shawn Bradley…Shawn Bradley…Shawn Bradley…Shaw…