Andray Blatche Teaches Us How to Pick Up a Hooker
Take notes.
Ever wondered how an NBA player goes about picking up a hooker? Of course you have! Who hasn’t? Anyway, wonder no more: Here’s the Blow by Blow account (no pun intended. OK, maybe a little…) of Andray Blatche’s run-in with a police officer who was playing the role of a hooker. Enjoy:
Defendant 1 (identified by police as Blatche) : “Hey, what’s up with you?”
Undercover cop: “You tell me.”
AB: I’m trying to see what you’re doing.”
UC: “Do you want (Blank) or (Blank)?”
AB: “Well, I want both.”
UC: “And what about you?” D-2 (identified as Palmer) : “I want the same.”
UC: “I charge $80 but I do two at the same time.”
AB: “Yeah, I’m good with it.” UC to Palmer: “And what about you?”
GP: “Yeah, $80 is good.”
UC: Aight, you want to pull right?”
AB: “Naw.”
UC: “I have a room right here.”
AB: “Uh, ok?”
$80 for two seems a little cheap, no?
I just hope that this was all filmed, and that the Wizards elect to play the tape for all of their incoming rookies when teaching them how NOT to behave.
51 Responses to “Andray Blatche Teaches Us How to Pick Up a Hooker”
Aug.7 at 10:36 am
Ryan Jones says:
Thanks, Andre. I’ve been doing it all wrong.
Aug.7 at 10:36 am
dblizzy! says:
What an idiot! Can’t an NBA player find a more upscale place if they want to pay for it???
Aug.7 at 10:43 am
Ryan Jones says:
blizzy, I believe this is what the kids refer to as “ballin’ on a budget.”
Aug.7 at 10:43 am
rob stewart says:
this is absolutely ridiculous. If this is true I’ll probably never see this guy in the league again. For every Lebron there are 100 Andray’s.
Aug.7 at 10:48 am
dpak says:
medium pimpin’
Aug.7 at 10:49 am
goathair says:
If he’d have just waited till he signed his contract, he’d have been able to get a high class girl.
Aug.7 at 10:52 am
Allenp says:
Isn’t it illegal for a cop to propose the sex act and suggest the price? Isn’t that entrapment? I thought the rule was that if the cops suggests payment or the sex act it’s ruled as entrapment? At least that’s what I’ve learned from watching television throughout my life and covering the police beat.
Aug.7 at 10:52 am
white hot eboy says:
That would be a great value in the real world!
Aug.7 at 11:00 am
mr. 1738 says:
why
Aug.7 at 11:02 am
dblizzy! says:
Allenp, you sure that’s not what you learned from beating a solicitation rap??
J/k, don’t get at me!
Aug.7 at 11:05 am
LL says:
they forgot to mention that for $80 you get a male cop
Aug.7 at 11:14 am
Ryan Jones says:
What else we’ve learned today: Allenp has tried to pick up hookers.
Aug.7 at 11:17 am
white hot eboy says:
*
Aug.7 at 11:17 am
mutoni says:
allenp is a champion.
Aug.7 at 11:18 am
white hot eboy says:
The accused party has NO room to wiggle out of these types of charges. Plus with the national attention from the Dateline shows, these crimes are really pressed hard now by police and prosecutors.
Aug.7 at 11:24 am
Gerard Himself says:
Stay classy Andray! For the love of all things basketball: Agent Zero mention this in your blog (he probably won’t, but still…)
Aug.7 at 11:24 am
dblizzy! says:
On a serious note(?) Why is it illegal if a sl@tbag wants to sell herself to a loser that’s willing to pay?
Aug.7 at 11:27 am
white hot eboy says:
Allenp, they use intent to solict to get the charges to stick. The prosecutors use the argument that if the accused party went to their decoy for interest in service, they would also go to another prostitute if one was available in the same moment.
Aug.7 at 11:28 am
Rasheedionics says:
Remember on Chappelle show they had a skit about “Great moments of hook up history”. I guess this is a revers of that because it should go straight into Hall Of Shame!
Aug.7 at 11:33 am
Ron says:
I blame Eddie Jordan for this. If Andray was getting minutes he would’ve been getting groupie love.
Aug.7 at 11:36 am
Young Chris #3 says:
I learned from watching Beavis & Butt-Head that the customer has to ask for it, and not have the “hooker” offer it for it to be legit. When the cop on the episode asked if they wanted to sleep with her because they kept avoiding answering by saying they wanted to “do it” and “boi-oi-oi-oi-oing” the other officers reprimanded her for entrapment. Allenp is correct here.
Aug.7 at 11:44 am
Adrian says:
Wait, prostitution is illegal in America?!
Aug.7 at 11:47 am
Mo Charlo says:
You guys might get sick of hearing me gripe about being in Mexico City, but $80 is for one sex act at a massage parlor, and can’t last more than 30 minutes. The cops are trying to entrap guys by using a sale!
Aug.7 at 11:48 am
white hot eboy says:
Young Chris #3, it would be nice to get out of all legal troubles by quoting B & B. Following the lead of the great Cornholio would be a great way to represent yourself in court too. “How do you plead to these charges, sir?” “I PLEAD TO RELEASE THE POWER OF MY BUNGHOLE AND HAVE THE STREETS RUN READ FROM THE BLOOD OF THE NON-BELIEVERS!!!!!”. I wouldn’t mind being in court if that happened everyday.
Aug.7 at 11:51 am
Young Chris #3 says:
LMFAO!
Aug.7 at 11:54 am
dblizzy! says:
bunghole, lol
Aug.7 at 12:01 pm
white hot eboy says:
Do you need TP for your bunghole?
Aug.7 at 12:06 pm
Mo Charlo says:
This just in! The Thai Police have found a solution to their discipline problems that would no doubt work for the NBA and NFL. Except for John Amaechi, maybe:
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/08/07/world/asia/07cnd-thai.html?_r=1&hp=&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&adxnnlx=1186502494-dIoDU/rHZTb4GY9HucIO2w
Aug.7 at 12:11 pm
niQ says:
noob
Aug.7 at 12:13 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
lake titicaca
Aug.7 at 12:14 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
nachos
Aug.7 at 12:15 pm
Jesus Shuttlesworth says:
*hank hill tone* i caught them boys awhacking in my shed
Aug.7 at 12:19 pm
Ryan Jones says:
The Beavis & Butthead segue is outstanding. I’d vote for Mike Judge for president in a heartbeat.
Aug.7 at 12:21 pm
Myles Brown says:
Can I just say that I love how prostitution is illegal, but Jenna Jameson is a millionaire. Arent p*rn stars just prostitutes with video cameras? WTF?
Aug.7 at 12:22 pm
white hot eboy says:
*while on a plane in the B & B movie* Stewardess “the meal being served is Chicken Picatta” Beavis, after digesting dozens of an old ladies pills in full Cornholio mold “PICATA, I NEED PICATTA FOR MY BUNGHOLE”
Aug.7 at 12:39 pm
Ryan Jones says:
Who is this Myles Brown character? Keep the potty mouth talk out of my website, newcomer. Do you even have your papers?
Aug.7 at 12:50 pm
Reggie Evans says:
The difference between the media now and then: now, we get the full transcript - then, we only see james worthy getting booked and everyone forgets. except me. and maybe ryan jones.
Aug.7 at 12:54 pm
Myles Brown says:
No habla englais, Senor Jones…
Aug.7 at 1:09 pm
dblizzy! says:
newbie!
Aug.7 at 1:53 pm
jbn74sb says:
eboy - Sad commentary on the legal profession that Beavis & Butthead is more interesting that the practice of law. Why did I go to law school again?
Aug.7 at 2:01 pm
white hot eboy says:
Most of the other attorneys I deal with are similar in the amount of common sense that Beavis & Butthead had. And some of their trial memos read like a B & B episode, depending on the case.
Aug.7 at 6:14 pm
Tariq says:
Alright, peeps, my official Premiership Preview is posted. Check it out on Penny Dreadful, the acclaimed Pulitzer-Prize-winning, Latin-Grammy-nominated, scantily-clad, nutritious blog. Part of a complete breakfast.
Aug.8 at 8:57 am
weezy leezy says:
Out here in Providence, prostitution is LEGAL as long as it’s indoors, serious. And a state owns a building that is a strip club. Most girls f*ck for free though. Lil Rhody is the sh*t.
Aug.8 at 11:14 pm
D man says:
thank for telling a cop son.
Aug.9 at 8:15 am
jdubbs says:
Lookin’ for ho’s
down on 14th and K
“hey -it’s Andray and I’m ready to play”
“$80 for 2? cool, ho, you on sale”
but now I’m locked up like Akon in the city jail
remember it’s “alleged”
like my boy Michael Vick
but I’m a listen to my head next time –and not to my… 3 blocks from the White house too
where pimpin’ is legal
Aug.9 at 11:34 am
D man says:
yo jdubbs that cold and funny
Aug.9 at 11:54 am
R. G. says:
Andray is the next KG baby
Aug.10 at 7:17 am
weezy leezy says:
yea i shouldnt of said that, i take it back D pig
Aug.10 at 11:46 am
bigmike407 says:
Bro, he’s in the league. Why are you picking up tricks in the DC streets? At least go to a strip club or a massage parlor that offers “happy endings”! What a dumbass!!!!
Nov.13 at 11:03 pm
i love shauntasia says:
i would do it if the girl was shauntasia
Mar.10 at 12:12 pm
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