SLAM LAST UPDATED » September 5, 2008 at 5:34 pm

Monday, July 30th, 2007  |  72 Comments

Chicago Isn’t Safe for Ball Players


by Marcel Mutoni

-What’s with NBA players getting robbed in Chicago? A little over two weeks ago, it was Antoine Walker who got stuck up inside his own home, and now Eddy Curry (and his family) has been a victim of home robbery:

Three masked robbers broke into the suburban Chicago home of Knicks forward Eddy Curry early Saturday, according to the police. The deputy chief of police, John Madden, said the robbers restrained Curry, his wife and an employee with duct tape, then made off with cash and jewelry.

Madden said that investigators did not believe the robbery was a random incident.

(Note to self: Don’t live in Chicago next time I become an NBA player.)

-Rumor has it that the League is about to reinstate Joey Crawford.

-Smush Parker is a Miami Heat. Miami Hot? I’m confused.

-Naturally, Parker took a shot at Kobe Bryant as he left L.A.

“D-Wade is more of a people person than Kobe,” Parker said of Bryant, his often-mercurial teammate. “I’m looking forward to jelling with Wade, and playing with him. He’s going to be a great teammate.”

(What, you think Wade will invite you out for drinks more often than Bryant did? Not if you continue to suck at your job, my friend.)

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72 Responses to “Chicago Isn’t Safe for Ball Players”

Jul.30 at 9:30 am

bill bob says:
was the chief really john madden?

Jul.30 at 9:33 am

white hot eboy says:
Is it time for the obligatory joke about Eddy since no one got hurt? Toine took his hits so I’d like to see what lines get shot out at this one? And Smush better stay on point, pardon the pun, cause his ass could be gone by the trade deadline if he’s not producing.

Jul.30 at 9:33 am

Andrew says:
they stressed parker’s ‘defense’?? put that pipe down…

Jul.30 at 9:45 am

Ryan Jones says:
How many names could Smush have substituted for “D-Wade” without that statement being any less true?

Jul.30 at 9:47 am

H to the izzo says:
Eboy:His ass will be gone by trade deadline when he’s not producing

Jul.30 at 9:49 am

A-Money says:
Anyone else believe these robberies will affect the quality players Chicago will be able to recruit?

Jul.30 at 9:49 am

white hot eboy says:
Ryan, hate to say it, but missed reading you on Friday. I’d prefer to hear what D-Wade thinks of having another average backcourt partner.

Jul.30 at 9:49 am

Cheryl says:
Trade? Who’d take him, white hot? Don’t know what to think about this pick up. Smush is being compared to the “spark off the bench” tag they gave Keyon Dooling. Frankly, I’d prefer to have Dooling back. I hear he’s a good dude and teammate, unlike what I’ve heard about Smush. But, like I said Friday, I’ll do the wait and see thing. I also wonder what’s going to happen with Juan Carlos, and if we still have a chance at Peitrus or Ime Udoka? Finally, if KG ends up in Boston, the East just got more interesting and Miami a bit more desparate to stay in the hunt. Makes for an interesting summer, no?

Jul.30 at 9:51 am

A-Money says:
Smush is garbage.

Jul.30 at 9:53 am

Cheryl says:
And I wonder if the cats that robbed Eddie are connected with the Walker robbery? And who else in Chicago are they targeting? If I lived there and was an NBA player, I’d get in touch with Vick and buy a couple of his dogs off him.

Jul.30 at 9:53 am

AJ$ says:
its funny that dudes name is John Madden

Jul.30 at 9:57 am

white hot eboy says:
Cheryl, I was thinking more of move to the end of the bench. But due to my namesake’s health history, he’ll be around by neccessity. And you sound defeated before the season has started. I’ll hold judgement till the All-Star break and see what type of makeup the team takes on, the fat, lazy, shi**y group that showed up last year or a team that what to try and re-establish itself through effort and fear of embarrasment again.

Jul.30 at 9:57 am

Chris O says:
I don’t know how many of Vick’s dogs are in good shape, but I’d definitely beef up security if I lived in Chicago.

Jul.30 at 9:59 am

white hot eboy says:
I’d prefer to see someone get into Juanita’s house and get Michael back some of HIS money.

Jul.30 at 9:59 am

A-Money says:
Outch!!! Vick is in enough trouble Cherryl, ease up on the cheap shots.

Jul.30 at 10:00 am

H to the izzo says:
There will never be enough cheap shots at Vick to satisfy my needs

Jul.30 at 10:02 am

A-Money says:
Vick made a mistake and hopefully he’ll learn from it. Move on people

Jul.30 at 10:03 am

white hot eboy says:
The Gambino’s should get these same guys to get to Don-a-gie.

Jul.30 at 10:04 am

H to the izzo says:
I too somtimes accidentally frget to feed dogs for about two weeks force them to fight each other for my own sick pleasure and then torture the ones that lose

Jul.30 at 10:06 am

white hot eboy says:
A-money, should we use that same philosophy with Don-a-gie, too? Or was him crime not brutal enough?

Jul.30 at 10:08 am

A-Money says:
Let him ride eboy.

Jul.30 at 10:09 am

A-Money says:
FREE DON-A-GIE. FREE VICK.

Jul.30 at 10:10 am

A-Money says:
Eboy, Don-a-gie and other refs like him gave you your Heat the championship… I bet you weren’t complaining then huh?

Jul.30 at 10:12 am

H to the izzo says:
Eboy won’t like that

Jul.30 at 10:13 am

white hot eboy says:
Back to ball, if KG gets to the Celts, do his move there overpower their divison rival powerhouse’s move for Zach. That’s veiled sarcasm for the uniformed, BTW. Zach, Eddy and Starbury or KG, Ray and Paul. Hmmm…

Jul.30 at 10:15 am

H to the izzo says:
If the Celtics get KG,they have managed to bring in two superstars in one offseason without losing their one tradable asset.I refuse to believe Danny Ainge is involved

Jul.30 at 10:15 am

white hot eboy says:
A-money’s just bitter cause it’s Monday. Plus, If I want to block out his posts, I can move my replica championship trophy on my desk in front of my screen.

Jul.30 at 10:18 am

A-Money says:
lol@Eboy…yes I am bitter but I also might have touched a nerve. FYI, I’m a Spurs fans so I can block your posts with 4 replicas. Holla :)

Jul.30 at 10:23 am

white hot eboy says:
A-Money, I’m obivious to the hate. It’s been a year so it’s like I’m living with a flesh eating disease. You just get used to it. And by all right, your 4th trophy have should have an asterick engraved on it if were going willy nilly on bad ref calls. And truth be told, before the Jerry’s broke up the Bulls, I was riding with them long before there was a Miami Heat team in existence so if where playing trophy chess……king me.

Jul.30 at 10:24 am

Cheryl says:
Eboy, I still got the faith. No worries. Just that there was only one or two teams the Heat had to worry about, but if KG lands in Boston, then we need to add them to the mix. But on another (Heat) note, I am hopeful that we will see what the young cats on the Heat team can add to the mix. Brotha Wayne, DWright, Cook, and I’d heard that one of the sign ons on the summer league team was getting an invite to training camp (forgot his name, Slaughter or something like that?). Just want to know what we’ll have moving forward.

Jul.30 at 10:25 am

A-Money says:
Everybody was riding with the BUlls in the 90’s other than Celtics and Lakers fans, but hey you can call yourself King just like T.I

Jul.30 at 10:26 am

Allenp says:
If Smush’s feelings got hurt by Phil Jackson, how is he going to handle Pat Riley? I’m not sure about this trade for the Heat. When he’s playing with confidence, like he was for his first two months in LA a couple years ago, Smush was good. But he’s sucked ever since. Remember he was averaging like 17 for a while and he and Kobe were the best of friends.

Jul.30 at 10:26 am

H to the izzo says:
Cheryl you forgot Chris Quinn-you should know better

Jul.30 at 10:27 am

Cheryl says:
oops.

Jul.30 at 10:28 am

Cheryl says:
He just looks so young, I keep thinking he’s one of the coach’s sons.

Jul.30 at 10:28 am

A-Money says:
I think the Celtics are a betterfit for KG than the Suns. They’ll dominate the East and be a sure bet for the conference finals easy

Jul.30 at 10:29 am

H to the izzo says:
How dare you?! Is he the first 12 year old to play in the NBA?

Jul.30 at 10:29 am

white hot eboy says:
A-Money, I’m not in my 20’s, so on the real, I was a Bull man from the Artis Gilmore days of the 70’s as a youngster. I just liked their logo when I was 5 or 6 years old and could never get behind my home team, the Nets, cause they were sorry. Plus my Dad had people in Chicago and they would always send Bulls stuff to me as a kid at Christmas.

Jul.30 at 10:38 am

white hot eboy says:
Cheryl & Izzo, my wife like Quinn because “he looks like a baby”. I don’t like him cause I had a better game than him when I was his age, and now years later, I’m writing about someone with a game like that who’s in the league. Life sucks. A-money, I’m starting to feel hate now, thanks man.

Jul.30 at 10:40 am

Cheryl says:
He looks like 12, Izzo. He should grow a beard or add “15 lbs. of muscle”, or something to man him up.

Jul.30 at 10:42 am

Cheryl says:
Wait, can you imagine the blow to the ego if it’s Chris that backs up your namesake and not Smush? should make for a lot of jokes and wise cracks here in the comments section next season.

Jul.30 at 10:43 am

white hot eboy says:
Cheryl, does he have the capability to grow body hair? That should be the next ASPOV blog topic!

Jul.30 at 10:44 am

H to the izzo says:
Chris is a better shooter and he would be too frightened of everybody else to be a bad locker room presence

Jul.30 at 10:45 am

white hot eboy says:
Cheryl, see, now you’re making me dread this coming season. I’m about to be out of here today for fear of hari-kari with my letter opener!

Jul.30 at 11:25 am

Madtice says:
One more Chicago-based NBA player robbed and I’m gonna blame the Heat for scaring players away from the Chi. I bet Ant-1 robbed himself, for starters, and I won’t be surprised if “The Glove” stole sh*t from Curry…

Jul.30 at 11:28 am

albie1kenobi says:
wow. why is everyone up in arms this morning? i know it’s MON-DAY!!!! but still. if Smush still goes by william henry parker, this will be just another free agent signing that no one cares about.
on another note, where did people hear about KG going to celts? is that back on the table again? i haven’t checked out anything sports related anywhere besides slamonline, because quite frankly, sport news are depressing as hell lately.

Jul.30 at 11:37 am

albie1kenobi says:
oh one thing about those chi-town robberies: aren’t both curry and toine FROM chi town and that they’ve never played for the bulls? which means wade should stay away from home?

Jul.30 at 11:39 am

H to the izzo says:
Curry played for the Bulls

Jul.30 at 11:42 am

white hot eboy says:
Izzo, did Curry really play there or just wear a Bulls uniform? It’s hard to remember.

Jul.30 at 12:21 pm

niQ says:
well the reason why they had to pick up another point guard was kinda obvious.. payton is getting old and j-dub is always injured.. and besides.. smush DOES get alota steals… and he’ll hit at least 1 or 2 3’s every game

Jul.30 at 12:44 pm

Reggie Evans says:
I hear that J.D. Salinger is more of a people person than Kobe.

Jul.30 at 12:57 pm

jbn74sb says:
Odd. I though Kobe’s job was to put the ball in the basket, and perform other similarly related tasks. I had no idea that he was supposed to be a social butterfly as well…

Jul.30 at 1:26 pm

albie1kenobi says:
okay so curry played for the bulls, but he also grew up in chicago right? “Illinois State “Mr. Basketball” while a senior at Thornwood High in 2000-01″. is Thornwood high in Chicago? i’m just trying to make a link out of all these robberies…

Jul.30 at 2:17 pm

AJ$ says:
Also Curryz huge couldnt he just kick the robbers ass?

Jul.30 at 2:57 pm

Nadav says:
f*ck smush parker.
also, he is the first player to play with kobe alone, and shaq alone.

Jul.30 at 3:11 pm

MagicMike2k7 says:
Glad to see Smush leave, boy was pissing me off during Laker games.

Jul.30 at 4:38 pm

Madtice says:
Smush scored 11.5 ppg last season, playing all 82 games. That’s not bad. He had a lot of steals and averaged 3.7 apg. Well, it’s not the worst PG in the world…

Jul.30 at 4:51 pm

Jake says:
Damn that sucks. How badass would it be if Curry and Antoine Walker got together with Charles Oakley to form a vigilante squad?

Jul.30 at 5:35 pm

DEVILb0y says:
smush sucks…and what defense are they talking about?!

Jul.30 at 5:39 pm

bong. says:
smush sucks.
he had an easy job in L.A.
bring the ball up occasionally.
and hit open threes.
he did one of them okay.
he did very little else.
why is he bashing on the singular best talent in the league?

Jul.30 at 6:25 pm

SA says:
Possibly the line of the year, quoted from a Bill Simmons chat, and applies to the newest victim as well: “How did Antonie Walker prevent the robber from getting a shot off?”

Jul.30 at 7:33 pm

Reggie Evans says:
Kobe is a more of a basketball person than Dwyane Wade …

Jul.30 at 10:06 pm

bootlace says:
Smush Parker: you’re a real retard. You screwed up what would have to be any ballers dream job. Playing in a great city, PG to perhaps the best player, coached by perhaps the best coach. Team was full of bad talent which made it possible for some incompetent fool like you to play all the minutes you did. Oh waiit…all this is true for Miami too. Lucky !#@$.

Jul.30 at 10:19 pm

speedywill87 says:
MagicMike2k7 says:
Glad to see Smush leave, boy was pissing me off during Laker games. Mike shut your face n*gger!!

Jul.31 at 1:22 am

Dub says:
Smush is gonna be riding the bench when eboy is back in prime form this season, believe that.

Jul.31 at 7:23 am

rade says:
Smush as a regular season guy, ok ok..
But come the playoffs and he needs to make any other shot than an open lay up, think about it.

Jul.31 at 3:00 pm

Shiz says:
Speedywill should slooow down. Smush’s assist-to-turnover ratio is like 1.3-1…Awesome. Laker fans should be dancing in the streets. In his defense, the triangle aint built for pg’s to get numbers, but damn dog. You got cut cuz you couldn’t handle the rock, plain and simple. Have fun in Miami.

Jul.31 at 7:46 pm

The Big Lead says:
White hoe eboy is a bitch!

Aug.1 at 3:48 pm

bigmike407 says:
Them goons is at it again!!! Guess Walker was too easy of a target, so they had to get him again. And Curry’s in SLAM in front of his house with the Phantom, Bentley coupe, and Benz S500 in the driveway and think that cats ain’t gonna try him? And you ain’t really from the Chi? You were bound to get tested. Why is it that dudes with way more paper like Mike and Scottie never got treated like this, but guys with less paper who are from the area get robbed/home invaded? RESPECT. All that bread and these guys don’t have a decent security system?

Sep.24 at 3:17 pm

JD says:
what rims was on eddy curry’s black bentley does anyone know?

Dec.28 at 12:37 am

peaches says:
bpttom line…smush is a awesome ballplayer..period…his talent is undisputed..he stands up for what he believes in..and that’s fairness..and the nba is his destiny and he will pervail over all this bs…miami should keep him…and not chicken out…take responsibility for your decision “heat” and stick by it! or some other team will get the “smush gold mine”…Keep ur head to the sky Smush!

Dec.28 at 12:43 am

peaches says:
bottom line…smush is a awesome ballplayer..period…his talent is undisputed..he stands up for what he believes in..and that’s fairness..and the nba is his destiny and he will pervail over all this bs…miami should keep him…and not chicken out…take responsibility for your decision “heat” and stick by it! or some other team will get the “smush gold mine”…Keep ur head to the sky Smush!

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