Chukaz
It had to be done. I’m so sorry. I had no choice.
This is the Chukaz post. Only Chukaz can comment here. Please, whoever else is reading this post, don’t comment here unless you are Chukaz. My hope — a hope I believe I share with many of you, if not with the universe itself — is that Chukaz will post here so often that he won’t need to post anywhere else. At least, not for a few hours. It’s a long shot, I know, but I had to try something. Somebody did. So again, Chukaz only on this post. It’s not like he needs inspiration from anything or anyone else to post repeatedly about anything and everything, so I think it might work. If even only for a brief moment. Pray it does. Please, God, let it work. It’s our only hope.
61 Responses to “Chukaz”
Jun.20 at 10:59 am
KA says:
damnit. im not chukaz. :(
Jun.20 at 11:17 am
Nothin_personal says:
If I post here, am I getting my own section to post at will and do the Chukaz#2 thing? I know I am not him, but i am as close as they come! I am Chukaxesque! As Cjandler would say: “So many Jokes…!”
P.s.Thank you Ryan! You just made my day!
Jun.20 at 11:54 am
Myung says:
I don’t think the “Chukaz only” thing is going to work, Ryan (good try though). Somewhere…DP has to be wondering why he never got one of these entries dedicated to him.
Jun.20 at 11:59 am
Myung says:
“Play wit it” went from annoying to endearing. Or maybe it’s just me. Yeah…it’s probably just me. I miss DP. I love how he got a letter published in the magazine a few months ago. That’s what you call crossover appeal. And congratulations, Chukaz, for becoming the most notorious commenter in Slamonline.com’s history, all in such a short period of time. That’s pure talent.
Jun.20 at 3:02 pm
dj says:
damn…
Jun.20 at 3:48 pm
bigmike407 says:
How ironic is it that you’ve created a space for the guy and he is the only one who has yet to post on it. Maybe Myung needs his own space too!
Jun.20 at 3:54 pm
Gilbert0 says:
DP was like George Costanza and the ad jingle. Its annoying the first couple of times, then its: By Mennen! Chukaz is just a little tragic. Sorry for posting here Ryan.
Jun.20 at 4:02 pm
Myung says:
I don’t need my own space, bigmike, but regarding something you wrote in another post, you might be interested to know that the reason you’re not hearing anything about Rodney Carney in this upcoming draft is because he actually played in the NBA this past year for the 76′ers. OK, no more posting here, Ryan (that’s like a 80% certain promise). I suck.
Jun.20 at 5:44 pm
Dutch Rich says:
Funny, I was thinking about putting a contract on his head only yesterday.
Jun.20 at 5:49 pm
Esco says:
Dutch Rich…I already have one out on him. He has not been found as yet, as is evident by him not commenting on here. He’s maybe hiding out. It’s best for everybody.
Jun.20 at 6:04 pm
Slobodan Chutzpah says:
So where is the real Chukazey?
Jun.20 at 6:05 pm
Dutch Rich says:
Esco….Say word!!
Leave it to the people and justice will prevail.
How’s the TP hype in Paris right about now??
Jun.20 at 7:04 pm
Chukaz says:
What’s wrong with you people? What part of “don’t comment here unless you are Chukaz” don’t you suckers understand? This is great, I’m a step closer to getting my own column.
Jun.20 at 7:07 pm
Chukaz says:
I asked yesterday if Ja Rule was still alive and it turns out that he is. He is releasing an album this year. I honestly believe that it will suck and it will fail to go gold. He will loose all his street cred (not that he was any) and he will get shot. Just like Tony Parker, but he doesn’t have a hot wife (neither does Tony, but he will in a couple of weeks).
Jun.20 at 7:11 pm
Chukaz says:
I think is time for me to put slamonline as my website on the website portion of the comments box.
Jun.20 at 7:13 pm
Chukaz says:
This feels so f*ckin’ awesome! I think I’m leaving Slam for ESPN the mag the way Scoop did it.
Jun.20 at 7:25 pm
Chukaz says:
Bill Plaschke’s an @$$hole for what he said about Kobe. Because of that, I hope that he never wins again in ESPN’s Around the Horn. I hope that Woody Page wins the next 10 episodes.
Jun.20 at 7:32 pm
Allenp says:
how did Chukaz’ name turn orange?
Jun.20 at 7:44 pm
Chukaz says:
@Allenp: you just need to put the name of a website on the website box. And also, who the hell gave you permission to post here?
Jun.20 at 7:46 pm
Chukaz says:
@Allenp: It also turned orange ’cause I have magical powers that enable me to turn stuff orange!
Jun.20 at 7:52 pm
Boing Dynasty says:
Mouth Breather.
Jun.20 at 8:04 pm
Esco says:
I would love to answer Dutch Rich, but I have utter hate for TP. This is a family oriented website.
Jun.20 at 10:24 pm
Boing Dynasty says:
It really isnt, Esco.
Jun.21 at 1:53 am
Sesa says:
Wow, Chukaz is putting slamonline.com as his own personal website. nice.
Jun.21 at 3:46 am
Chukaz says:
I’m moving over to ESPN.
Jun.21 at 3:47 am
Chukaz says:
Go to hell everyone.
Jun.21 at 3:48 am
Chukaz says:
Crap, I forgot to put ESPN as my own personal website.
Jun.21 at 3:49 am
Blinguo says:
“KG hit ‘em for 126?!” Marbury making Kobe think even more than usual and now everybody gets the rewards.
Jun.21 at 4:03 am
Froggiestyle says:
* sigh * * groan * (*keep in the positive - avoid the negative*) …… Mista Jones, this is a good idea (I guess), thank you (I think) …… Now is your time to shine schukz …… do us proud …… this will lead to big things …… good for you …… (please don’t leave this spot however) …… *must stay positive* …… courage tout le monde
Jun.21 at 5:17 am
Sesa says:
Yo Farmer!
Wasn’t putting this up means like building a shrine dedicated just for Chukaz?
Or maybe you’re related to Chukaz?
I’m confused.
Jun.21 at 8:09 am
Chukaz SUCKS says:
:) is it possible to hide this post from everyone but chukaz, so nobody will ever have to read his dumb sh1t again?
Jun.21 at 8:57 am
Nothin_personal says:
Some time ywsrterday I started feeling guilty, a group of (kind off) knowledgeable, cultivated adults picking on a 17 year old boy that’s only expressing his opinion. Then Chukaz posted a few comments. not feeling guilty anymore!
Jun.21 at 10:42 am
Young Chris #3 says:
LOL. I wonder where Chukaz got the “Moving to ESPN” idea from… *cough*goreadmylast”DraftBegins”comment*cough*
Jun.21 at 12:29 pm
Sesa says:
17 year old is not a boy anymore. Don’t feel guilty.
Jun.21 at 2:53 pm
Chukaz says:
Yeah, don’t feel guilty, I’m down with ESPN right now and I will never come back. I ain’t leaving ’til Sunday, so enjoy me while you can.
Jun.21 at 3:04 pm
Chukaz says:
I’m sorry if I let all of you down, but Ryan never told me about this post, so I had no idea until 7:04 yesterday. I doubt that anybody will read this sh*t ’cause is from yesterday, but I will still use it.
Jun.21 at 3:10 pm
Chukaz says:
The Baltimore Orioles don’t have a manager right now and I’ve heard that Billy Donovan is amongst the candidates for the job. I spoke with him on the phone and he told me that he is not interested on the job. One of my sources told me that Billy and the O’s are still talking, but it will take a lot of money to get Billy out of Gainesville. I’m expecting Donovan to sign a contract on any given momment.
Jun.21 at 3:19 pm
H to the izzo says:
I know I shouldn’t post here but Chukaz are you serious about leaving forever?
Jun.21 at 3:24 pm
Chukaz says:
The New Jersey Nets claim that they are not interested in trading Jason Kidd for Andrew Bynum. Good for them because it wasn’t gonna happen anyways. The Lakers are not going to give up a young, overrated player for JKidd, not if they can use him to get their hands on players like KG and Jermaine O’neal. They could even get Paul Pierce if they were smart enought. I don’t think that many teams are willing to give up much for JKidd right now. Just think of it, the man is like 50 years old and has bad knees. Any smart GM in this league would want to have JKidd, but no GM is stupid enought (maybe Billy Knight) to give up good young talent for him. Do you think that the Magic would’ve traded Penny (before he f*cked up this knee) for MJ in ‘98, I don’t think so. Jason is good, but he probably has 2 more years(max) or being productive.
Jun.21 at 3:26 pm
Chukaz says:
@ H to the izzo: I’m sorry, but I’m not.
Jun.21 at 3:27 pm
H to the izzo says:
You can’t toy with people like that
Jun.21 at 3:31 pm
Chukaz says:
Hey, my man Jerry West seems to like Joakim Noah. Good for you Noah, but you will suck in this league. You are not going to be good for one reason, you are the white version or Kevin Durant but the difference is that you can’t handle the ball, you can’t shoot, and you not have a real offensive game. Noah, if you are reading this, please tell me, how are you gonna score, son? I’m sererious. Has anybody seen his jump shot? It’s kinda like Bill Walton’s but the hand movement is not as weird and the way the ball moves is worse.
Jun.21 at 3:39 pm
H to the izzo says:
Joakim Noah is white? Thats news to me
How can you even compare Durant to Noah there two completly different positions
Jun.21 at 3:41 pm
Chukaz says:
There both tall and weight less than Nicole.
Jun.21 at 3:46 pm
Chukaz says:
Pam Anderson said on some show that she has shown her sex tape to her kids. That’s brilliant Pam. When I have kids, I’ll show them your sex tape too. I think all parents should do that, you know.
Jun.21 at 4:11 pm
Chukaz says:
I want Pierce to be a Celtic! It could happen, but we need Jerry Buss to stop being an @$$hole and try to get something done. And the Lakers can’t trade Kobe because the Lakers would go from cool to lame and from gangsta to wanksta.
Jun.21 at 4:15 pm
Chukaz says:
Damn it, I meant that I want Pierce to be a Laker.
Jun.21 at 4:19 pm
H to the izzo says:
Wanksta huh? So we’re in 2001 now.Good to know
Jun.21 at 4:41 pm
Chukaz says:
@izzo: The reason I used the word wanksta is ’cause I’m an OG.
Jun.21 at 5:43 pm
Chukaz says:
I hope that KG doesn’t go to the Celtics! The NBA needs the Celtics to be a good team and they also need KG to play for a contender, but I just don’t want it to happen because of this trade. I would rather see the Celtics keep Gerald Green and Al Jefferson and build around dem two. I also want to see The Truth and The Big Ticket play together, in L.A, with Kobe.
Jun.21 at 5:51 pm
Chukaz says:
My man Gregg Oden had a bad workout with the Potland Jailblazers. What does that mean? He doesn’t want to play for the Potland Jailblazers. He want to be a Laker. Jerry Buss should try to trade the Fat Kid in exchange for the first pick. Also, is it me or Mike Conley Jr. seem like the second coming of TJ Ford?
Jun.21 at 6:03 pm
H to the izzo says:
Portland Jailblazers?So we are definitley in 2001
Jun.21 at 6:04 pm
Chukaz says:
Oh yeah, KG just ended the trade talks between Minny and Boston. He said he doesn’t want to go to Boston. That’s great KG, good for you. KG also said that if he is to leave the Wolves he would like to go to PHX. That’s no too good KG, if you are gonna make me buy a new jersey with your name in it, make sure is purple and gold.
Jun.21 at 6:06 pm
Chukaz says:
No izzo, POTland, see that POTland Jailblazers.
Jun.21 at 6:19 pm
Chukaz says:
@Ryan - if you are reading this, I know why did you give me my own post. Yeah, I know why, it’s because you get paid for every time a comment is posted. This is amongst the last times that I comment on something written by you.
Jun.21 at 8:43 pm
jbn74sb says:
Chukaz - Lay off the ritalin. Or go take more. One of the two. Just settle down and go do something besides post on slamonline.
Jun.22 at 1:48 am
Greased Up Deaf Guy aka Clay Davis says:
so, is this “chuakazz” gonna post here or what??
Jun.22 at 2:38 am
Sesa says:
@Chukaz.
You still don’t have a right to call Bynum a “kid” and why do you think Kobe and Pierce will fit together?
Kobe’s fit with either Lamar or LeBron. Do put Billups as their Point Guard.
Jun.22 at 2:51 am
Froggiestyle says:
Dear Schmukaz, with your vigor and vim you should intern with Howard Stern - he’s gonna retire soon and maybe you could carry on the madness. Apparently you gotta lotta say - so why not. Deepen your voice a bit and you gotta shot son.
Jun.22 at 4:12 am
bert says:
All this fool talks about is players going to the Lakers
Jul.25 at 11:18 am
BETCATS says:
CHUCKAZ use this damn board