Phoenix at L.A. Lakers Game 3: Kwame Gives Life!
The Lakers are alive and we prepare for Game 4 madness.
I’ve decided not to drink tonight so that I may take mildly intelligible notes throughout the game. The things that I do for you people.
(Should the Lakers fall apart, however, there’s a very good chance that I will be completing my game notes with a blood alcohol level well above the legal limit. You have been warned.)
Sam Cassell is in the TNT studio tonight, and I couldn’t be happier. Sam is one of my favorite people in the entire Association. How can you not love a guy who gleefully informs you that he has enormous testicles whenever he hits a big shot? He’s damn near impossible to dislike.
Cassell opens things up by chanting, “Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, …” I wonder who he’s rooting for tonight.
Speaking of Bryant, he has to go for 60+ for the Lakers to have a chance tonight, right? Anything less and I’ll be disappointed.
First Quarter:
-Raja Bell opens the scoring by wetting a jumper from straight away.
-Two more Phoenix jumpers make it 6-0.
-Make that 9-0.
-An alley oop to a streaking Stoudemire (after rejecting Luke Walton with extreme prejudice) makes it 11-0.
Kevin Harlan: “A DEVASTATING start for the Phoenix Suns!” Thanks, Kevin. I needed that.
(I think some Laker fans are already walking out of Staples. Matter of fact, I might walk out of the room if this nonsense keeps up.)
-Kobe stops the bleeding momentarily by canning a jumper near the free throw line.
-Kobe. Again. Doug Collins is openly calling for Bryant to shoot each trip down the floor. Hard to argue with blondie.
(Here’s a wild guess: The triangle offense will be blatantly ignored this evening. I hope that Tex Winter stayed home.)
-Wow. Jordan Farmar finds himself mismatched with Kurt Thomas and his crazy eyes. Kurt scores with great ease and looks …well, he looks crazy. 11 point lead for Phoenix.
-Kwame Brown – who inexplicably finds himself in the starting lineup yet again. Seriously, Phil, do you enjoy making me suffer? – is actually playing decently in this game. He’s managed to avoid committing offensive fouls (or any fouls for that matter) by pile driving his shoulder into defenders, and has actually gotten two early fouls called on the Suns. It’s a small miracle to be perfectly honest with you.
-Coming out of a timeout, Craig Sager brings us a delightful little story about a car chase on the LA streets that delayed the arrival of both teams to the arena today. It turns out that some shirtless dude (it’s apparently the law that if you jack a car, you have to remove your top) stole a car and drove at amazingly slow speeds before surrendering when both tires gave out. He even dove belly first onto the ground before the cops slapped the cuffs on him. I enjoyed that.
-Kobe makes an INSANELY difficult reverse layup: Right side of the court, nasty shoulder fake to freeze Diaw, hangs for three seconds as he glides under the hoop, gets hacked by Kurt Thomas (no call), pumps a couple of times, and kisses it off the glass as he falls on his back. He’s not half-bad.
-In case you were wondering, Phoenix has pushed their lead up to 16 after Barbosa hits an absurdly open three pointer. What I’m wondering at this point, is what slitting my wrists would feel like…
(Doug Collins, I should let you know, has just shamelessly compared Leandro to Andrew “The Boston Strangler” Toney. I feel ill.)
-Kobe hits a baseline three, making it 31-17. After a rare Phoenix miss, the Lakers come the other way and Andrew Bynum ends up at the line after getting hacked on an alley oop attempt. I would love to tell you that Bynum hit both free throws, but I cannot. That would be a lie. 31-17 after the first q.
Second Quarter:
-How bad have things gotten for Smush Parker? He’s now coming into the game AFTER Shammond Williams. National television audience, meet Shammond. Shammond, say hello to national television audience.
-Amare – playing with two early fouls – has resorted to guarding Kwame Brown as if the pastry lover has some kind of highly infectious skin disease. As a result, Kwame is scoring with relative ease and looking comfortable in the paint.
-The Lakers have cut the Phoenix lead down to 9 with Kobe looking on from the bench. Your guess is as good as mine, folks.
-Hey, it’s Jack Nicholson celebrating a belated birthday. That’s gotta be a good sign, right? Jack accidentally smeared some of the birthday cake on his jacket but he doesn’t seem to mind a whole lot. To be fair, his nonchalance might have something to do with the 15 Rum&Cokes he inhaled before the game.
-Did Kobe just dunk on Amare (he was late arriving and kind of ducked out the way, but still) after making Marion fall on his ass? The answer you’re looking for would be “yes”. Yes, he did.
-After Diaw converts on a reverse layup, Kwame comes back with a two-handed shot off the window. Whatever, I’ll take it. Kwame for President! 37-30 with 7 minutes to go.
-Bryant gets to the hole and scores on an and-1. TNT cameras then catch Ronny Turiaf dancing in celebration on the bench. His hair (in a ponytail) makes him look like an enormous, cross-dressing grandmother. Not a good look.
-Phoenix is playing at a shockingly slow pace. Barbosa gets ripped in the backcourt and Kobe gets a layup (plus the foul) on the other end. Four point game. MVP chants. Um…
-STAT. Jam inside. Filthy.
-Kobe Bryant has decided to take over this game. A jumper in transition makes it 42-40 with a little over 3 minutes remaining in the first half. Staples is positively rocking. Good times are being had by all.
-Amare and Kwame trade hoops. Kwame shoved Stoudemire out of the way to get his, but we’ll ignore that for now.
(I’m not sure who this Kwame Brown character is, but I like him. He must be new to the team.)
-Lamar knocks down a triple and it’s 51-48 for the Suns as we go into halftime. Hope springs eternal.
Third Quarter:
-Sam Cassell in the studio at halftime discussing Kobe: “He’s not Jordan, but he’s not Harold Miner. He’s the best we’ve got right now.” (Everyone laughs). Have I mentioned that I’m thoroughly enjoying the Sam Cassell experience?
-The Lakers handed out yellow t-shirts to the fans before the game. This being image-conscious Hollywood, hardly anyone is wearing them. Gotta love it.
-51-50 after a Luke Walton hoop from in-close.
(By the way, I fully expect a back-breaking run by the Suns to happen at any moment. Laker fandom is not enjoyable.)
-Luke ties it at 53.
-It can be argued that Nash is having an off night; thanks to a swarming Laker defense, he has struggled to get into the lane for those little fallaways he likes to shoot and seems to be having trouble finding guys in the right spots. That being said, he still has something like 10 assists. He’s a decent player.
-Kobe – after baiting Raja into a foul behind the three-point line – gives the Lakers their first lead of the night. The crowd is going absolutely bananas. It should be noted that the Lakers are dominating the offensive glass.
-Phoenix comes right back and reclaims the lead as Marion fills the lane beautifully on the break. It must be nice to root for a team that has good players at nearly every position. *Sigh*
-Barbosa is back in the game. I might need a drink…or four.
-Kobe attacks the cup and gets yet another and-1. Lots of layups for the Mamba tonight. He’s going to get the calls on his home floor, so he might as well keep going towards the hoop.
-Oh, sweet fancy Moses! Kwame comes crashing down after missing a jump hook and seems to have twisted his ankle. There can only be one conclusion after this turn of events: Jesus hates the Lakers.
-Brown stays in the game somehow, and even more incredibly, he dunks on three straight possessions. What in the world is going on here? I don’t know, but I like it.
(Can we start printing up the Kwame/Obama campaign tees yet? Yodel at your canine, Wizznutzz!)
-Kobe eludes both Marion and Nash and scores on a nifty scoop layup; Barbosa answers with a baseline three. One-point game.
-The Suns can’t buy a bucket inside tonight, and like I mentioned before, the Lakers are grabbing every offensive rebound in sight.
(Barbosa coming back down to Earth has certainly helped the Lakers’ cause tonight, as has Kwame’s sudden and completely unexpected transformation into a young Moses Malone.)
-Luke sends Diaw to the line with 23.5 seconds remaining in the third. Boris makes it 74-70 (Lakers leading) as we head into the final quarter.
Fourth Quarter:
-Barbosa hits a three. After a Kobe jumper, Leandro knocks down another jumper. Uh oh…
-Kobe then hits a three and Lamar slithers in for a pretty finger roll. 83-75 Lakers lead.
-Diaw takes a leisurely walk around a flat-footed Brian Cook and gets an embarrassingly easy layup. Someone should slap Cook after that.
-Terrible possession for the Lakers: No ball movement at all, Kobe gets iso’d and decides to dribble between his legs for what feels like an eternity before launching (and missing) a jumper. Ugh.
-Barbosa is starting to blow by dudes like they don’t exist. Lead down to four.
-Kobe gets a steal and goes by a helpless Raja for a layup. Diaw comes right back and lays it in. Take that!
-The Lakers aren’t grabbing any more offensive boards and Phoenix is starting to find their offensive groove. Nash is doing that thing he does where he sucks the defense in and finds a cutter (that apparently only he and God can see) at the very last moment for a relatively easy shot.
(Can you tell that I’m nervous?)
-Kobe with another horrendous possession: He tried to go through four defenders by his lonesome and ended up throwing up a no-look fling (hoping to get a call, which he obviously didn’t get). What happened to the trust, homey?
-Phoenix, thankfully, is once again stinking it up on the offensive end. No rhythm and shots are clanging off the rim.
-Kobe redeems himself by getting his 40th and 41st points of the night on an easy drive around Raja. 89-84 (3 minutes to go).
-Amare gets hacked inside and cuts the lead to three with 2 freebies.
-What in the hell?! Shammond Williams, for one brief and disturbing moment, forgets that his name is Shammond Freaking Williams and takes a wildly ill-advised jumper. I don’t think anyone saw that coming. I am stunned.
-F*cking (!!!) Barbosa ties the ballgame with a baseline three. Lawdy Lawd…
-Odom inside. 91-89 (1:30 to go)
(Tension)
-Some dude wearing a hideous red turtleneck (and one of those chin-strap facial hair things) is sitting directly behind Doug Collins and Kevin Harlan. I have no idea why I feel the need to share this information with you all, but I do. I’m delirious at this point.
-Kobe hits a huge fallaway jumper over Raja, and Amare gets stuffed on the other end. Kobe then ices things by getting to the line for two more free throws. Cash.
-With the outcome no longer in doubt, Smush Parker decides to fly in for a dunk, but Raja Bell has other ideas. After the hard foul, Mike D’Antoni can be seen yelling at Smush for trying to show up his squad (I’m pretty sure he said something that rhymed with “That’s bullshit”.) Can’t really blame D’Antoni for being upset there. Dumb move by Smush.
(Alright, time to breathe…Lakers live to fight another day…Final score: 95-89. Bryant ends up with 45 points, 6 boards, and 6 dimes.)
Postgame:
-By the way, if anyone thought I was joking in my game 2 recap about Doug Collins rooting for the Lakers, you need to watch the Inside the NBA Replay on NBA.com. You will see Kobe and Doug sharing a very special moment right before tip off. Hmm…
-Can Kobe go off again? Will Kwame remember to bring his surprising basketball skills with him to the gym? Will Phoenix struggle to run their offense again? Can Barbosa be contained? Can the Lakers continue to dominate the glass?
These are tough questions, and they must be answered on Sunday in game 4. If you’re not eagerly awaiting this game, there’s a very good chance that you are dead.
44 Responses to “Phoenix at L.A. Lakers Game 3: Kwame Gives Life!”
Apr.27 at 10:36 am
» Kwame? Kwame Brown? Is that you? - SLAM ONLINE says:
[…] The Suns quickly had a 17 point lead and the Lakers fans were booing. This was a dead series. Kobe stepped up, got the help he needed, and 45-6-6 later, it was 2-1 with Game 4 coming Sunday afternoon. Mike D’Antoni was very complementary of his Italian speaking paisan “You’ve got to give them credit. Things were so easy at the beginning. Human nature took over. Kobe down the stretch was too much to handle.” Mutoni has much much more, and I’m sure he’s pretty excited about this. […]
Apr.27 at 10:45 am
allenp says:
The Suns were bombing away at the end of Game 2. Don’t believe the hype, they like showing people up. Anyway, Kobe proved he is the best on the planet, and what else can you want from an MVP.
Apr.27 at 11:10 am
Nadav Mor says:
KB54
Apr.27 at 11:48 am
Max Airington says:
Phoenix gave up on that game in the begining of the third quarter.
Apr.27 at 11:51 am
Max Airington says:
And slitting your wrists isnt that bad, if you can stand the blood. I did it Tuesday, but I was pretty drunk, which helped numb the pain. I think I lost a nickel in there though…
Apr.27 at 12:06 pm
Cub Buenning says:
Our power came on right before tip, so I was able to see that first five minutes of play by the Suns. It was dynamic and amazing. When Nash would get the ball on a mini-break, I would tell my wife, “there gonna score some how!” Invariably Amare was ooping. Amazing. Still think they got the next two games and the series. Kudos to Kobe. I don’t hate him.
Apr.27 at 12:11 pm
Ben Couch says:
Was out at a bar, saw the Suns up 15 early and pretty much wrote the game off. Several games of pool (and beverages later) I realized how close the game was and watched through to the finish. Nice recap, Mutoni. I thoroughly enjoyed that.
Apr.27 at 12:22 pm
Cub Buenning says:
Sweet there/they’re/their error in my previous post. Spent nine years correcting that every day….. curious. Word on the piece, Marcel, well done.
Apr.27 at 1:10 pm
dre says:
the orange suns uniform, with lakers yellow uniform and court was just weird. wifey walked into the room when i was watching the game and asked me why both teams wearing the same uniform.
Apr.27 at 1:14 pm
Tom says:
nice recap mutoni, i couldn’t believe the 4th when kobe wanted so badly to seal the deal and he ignored everything the lakers had been doing well all game….I thought for sure it was gonna cost us the game
Apr.27 at 1:17 pm
dez says:
Thought it was Barbosa that got stuffed on the last possession by Kwame.
I saw that same red-turtleneck sweater guy and started laughing. Only in LA
Apr.27 at 1:23 pm
jbn74sb says:
Mutoni - I am still f-cking pumped on this game. Nice of Kobe to show Dirk what a real MVP looks like. A couple of comments. First, Amare’s second rejection of Luke during the 11-0 start was clearly goaltending. Second, not only was the driver of the car chase shirtless, he also appeard to be wearing a pair of boxers and hightops - nothing else. How exactly does that happen?
Apr.27 at 1:26 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
Great recap of a really good game. Glad you didn’t have to slit your wrists. That goes for all Laker fans.
As for the shirtless guy in traffic, there’s a reason 90% of COPS episodes are filmed in L.A.
Apr.27 at 1:31 pm
Dennard C says:
Man, what a performance by KB24. And who was that impersonating Kwame Brown?
Apr.27 at 1:32 pm
jbn74sb says:
We can’t expect another game like that out of Kwame. We can, however, expect Luke, Maurice, or someone else to show up and give us a game. Also, surprising to me that you let Half Pipe’s 70’s porn/ coke movie look go without comment.
Apr.27 at 2:10 pm
deestarbuckz says:
As if LA traffic is not bad enough without a damn car chase… Hope that all you Laker fans are high on life right now, because Kwame is still lost on “D” on every possession and worst in the pick-and-roll.
Apr.27 at 2:11 pm
deestarbuckz says:
And glad your wrists are still intact Mutoni!
Apr.27 at 2:18 pm
Reggie Evans says:
Max and jbs487949289… I’m a Kobe fan … but why does he change his style of play in the fourth to “Kobe-ball”? He was doing so well in the first three quarters, going to the rack and still looking for his teammates. I think he’s got it in his head that he has to “take over” in the fourth, meaning he starts dominating the ball. But if he just stuck to how he was playing, it would have been even better. It’s almost as if someone shouldn’t let him know it’s the fourth quarter, so that he doesn’t do that.
Apr.27 at 2:38 pm
Ken says:
Who thought we would ever see Smush Parker come in a game for DEFENSIVE PURPOSES? Phil Jackson is a genius, if PHX is gonna play 2 point guards, just send two point guards out there on them also. Phoenix loves creating matchup nightmares against normal lineups, so if you match their players up with guys who can cover them no matter what position they play, you can neutralize their advantage. I love the Lakers. LAKESHOW IS BACK BABY!!!
Apr.27 at 2:52 pm
jbn74sb says:
deestarbuckz - you have much to learn about the game of basketball. While it is an understatement to say that Kwame tends to struggle at the offensive end, his defense is actually very good, and he is very adept at reading and reacting to pick and roll situations. Had you a clue, you would realize that the problems are created first by the incredible ball handling of Nash, and last by the poor rotations of the weakside defenders. Okay - class is over.
Apr.27 at 3:49 pm
Elyse says:
Reggie, Kobe didn’t change his game, I am pretty sure he passed the ball out of a double team to an open shammond on three consecutive plays, shammond missed the three, the next time kobe passed to shammond, shammond passed to LO who worked it inside and got a great layup, and on the third kobe to shammond, shammond drew a blocking foul on Nash. Um, also kobe shot 15-26, so he was a part of the formula the entire game. To try and say he played much differently in the fourth is kinda silly…
Apr.27 at 4:09 pm
Andy says:
Dude, Kwame has incredible D. He is less flashy that some centers, with less blocks and such, but he is a nasty defender. I would say one of the better defenders for sure.
Apr.27 at 4:15 pm
winky willton says:
uh, kobe bryant is by no means the mvp. his style of play is just as detrimental to his team as it is beneficial. take off the goggles and put down the koolaid.
Apr.27 at 4:26 pm
jbn74sb says:
No, there was a stretch there where Kobe jacked up a few ill advised jumpers rather than driving to the rim.
Apr.27 at 4:35 pm
Dennard C says:
I have another question: what is the going on with Smush Parker’s hair? You can look at his head and tell that his going through something.
Apr.27 at 4:43 pm
Temple Stark says:
If you did that real time - you’ve got talent. Even if you didn’t, funny.
I live in Arizona. I want the Lakers to lose but i also don’t want the Suns to coast, so I was rooting for the Lakers to take one - at least one. This year is the Mavericks year and I’m putting my “huge” and completely meaningful ?!? support behind them. So, if it comes to it, I don’t want the Suns to get the psychological and physical edge by sweeping through. I know they’ll likely play the Spurs next round, and then I hope the Suns happily lose their cool.
But I
That recap was hilarious, and surprisingly humble for a Lakers fan
Apr.27 at 5:03 pm
Sherri says:
i wont go in the game, but i have to comment on the dude who mutoni mentioned sittin` behind doug collins, with the slight quentin taratino look with a fashion sense similar to that of craig sager, i dont have much to say abt him but i think they should show guys like him in tense situations, so instead of slittin` ur wrist`s and tearing ur hair apart cus of the bad plays, ppl can jus make fun of those kinda guys. anywhooo nice read mutoni =], am glad u get to write on this series.
Apr.27 at 5:10 pm
mutoni says:
thanks for the kind words, everyone. i love you all very much. almost as much as i love bacon.
Apr.27 at 5:17 pm
Kadavour says:
Kwame, remember when i said u should forget getting dropped to the D-Fenders and head straight to some LA JV squad? i take it back! way to keep ur head in the game. way to catch the ball. great job!!!
Apr.27 at 5:21 pm
Kadavour says:
o yea, great job mutoni
Apr.27 at 5:35 pm
deestarbuckz says:
Wow you Laker fans are sensitive… as little as I “know” about basketball, I do know that you all will be watching the second round in Hi-def! Then ALL the lights will be out at Staples, not just the ones in the stands. GO CAVS!!!
Apr.27 at 6:32 pm
artiste says:
So, as long as Kobe scores 40+, Kwame plays like Tim Duncan, Odom has 15 and 15, and Steve Nash plays like shit, LA can win by 5. No way they win another game.
Apr.27 at 6:41 pm
Lynk says:
I’ve been saying f*cking Barbosa!!! this entire series. Usually in conjunction with f*cking Smush!!!
Lakers played well last night.
Apr.27 at 6:59 pm
rj says:
kobe is just so damn good they need to give him sum serious help to make them contenders if they do that.. kobe can handle the rest
Apr.27 at 8:16 pm
tike says:
kobe is sensational i mean the kid can flat-out play….BUT doesnt mean there going to win the series, they got there little win in L.A. they were suppose to..and one other thing i got mad about while watching the game Doug Collins and Kevin Harlan….well really doug just, kept saying the suns arent the same suns they played in game 2…no shit doug they played probably one of the best games all year…plus no kobe equals no wins atleast in the playoffs against phoneix…oh and i was impressed on how good the Lakers point guards did a good job contaning Nash 10pts 12ast…thats a down night 4 him in the scoring department.
Apr.28 at 1:02 am
Phil B. says:
Just want to say that the big difference in this game was the Lake Show’s defensive intensity. From the second quarter on, you could really see the hard work put in on the double teams, traps, and then hustling back into position. That takes great focus to keep up for three quarters, especially against a team of gazelles. I’m a Suns fan in this series, I hate the Lakers, but I have nothing but great respect for that effort. That was not so much a typical “Kobe win” as it was an atypical “team defense” win.
Apr.28 at 1:43 am
The Real Mongoose says:
I really think P Jax told Kobe he can score as much as he wants, as long as there are no BAD shots. He listened
Apr.28 at 1:57 am
The Boy from Aus says:
what is the big deal about scoring when ur winning at the end? complaining about that is being a sore loser. its not a priviledge to lose a game, so if ur still scored on and u give up hope in the last 30 seconds, its ur own fault. first the was varejao, then the bulls-knicks thing and now smush. its bs, theres nothing wrong with it and raja should have got a flagrant or unsportsmanlike foul for that. grow up raja, u too d’antoni.
Apr.28 at 2:10 am
Norm says:
Marcel, You guessed wrong : The Triangle Offense was in play most of the night. Why do you think they had 15 Offensive rebounds in the 1st half alone while the defense was in the proper position to stop the Suns fastbreak. Lakers would have beaten Suns by 20 had they hit half of those open 3’s and blown layups. By the way Tex was there in his lucky suit (circa 1958), sitting directly behind Phil on the bench and whispering his words of wisdom. I think Kobe, Odem, and Brown had extra motivation to play well, knowing Tex was there to critique their game afterwards. Speaking of Doug Collins, I played my IPod - LA Mix to help drown out his voice. When LA fell 17 points behind, I thought it ironic that “Eve of Destruction” by Barry McGuire was playing. Fortunately by the time “I Love LA”, “Ventura Highway”, “Walking in LA”, “Living on a Prayer” and “We Are the Champions” finished playing, the Laker’s closed to within 3 points before half. At least the music seemed to counteract Collins’ negative karma in the long run. Since we don’t have Chick to listen to on the radio, maybe we can petition TNT/ESPN/ABC to put Bill Walton on as the Color Analyst as a counterbalance to Collins’ negative vibes.
I get so tired of hearing Collins say, “they have to do this or they have got to do that” in every other sentence. You think he could come up with another line. He is almost as bad as Charles Barkley (no one is worse) when it comes to breaking down a game. A reminder to Laker Fans attending game at Staples on Sunday…just leave your cell phones at home, wear Purple and Gold and yell D-E-F-E-N-S-E till your voice is gone. Most important have Faith, Hope, Love and Respect in your heart for your LAKERS!
Apr.28 at 5:21 am
DEVILb0y says:
phoenix hahaha…they lucky mamba got tired in game 1 cause of all the minutes he played in march plus the fact that he had to ave. 40pts during march other wise they’d be staring at a 2-1 deficit and crying about team unity…
Apr.28 at 2:10 pm
J-Bird says:
Laker fans prepare to go down 3-1
Apr.28 at 2:48 pm
Shelbie says:
I may be a Suns fan but i gotta give it 2 the Lakers on game 3 they suns played bad…
Apr.28 at 2:59 pm
Shelbie says:
if Suns play like this there ain’t know chance 4 them winning but if they get back on their A-game they could have a chance…
Apr.28 at 3:13 pm
J-Bird says:
So they only have a CHANCE if they play their A-game? If the Suns are on their A-game the lakers will lose by 30