24 Comments Saturday, February 17th, 2007
Random Thoughts For A Long Weekend
Swaggerjake’ing.
We have a commenter over in these parts named “DP”. After every comment he posts, he drops his catch phrase: “Play wit it.” I’m a fan of his catch phrase, so I’m going to temporarily jack (and pluralize) it. Here are some random thoughts: Play wit em.
–Gilbert Arenas is currently my favorite basketball player. He joins an illustrious group of former favorites: John Starks, Lou Roe (in college), Penny Hardaway, Kendall Gill, Sam Cassell, Stephon Marbury, Keith Van Horn, Allen Iverson, Kerry Kittles, Slava Medvedenko and LeBron James. If you haven’t seen the video of Gil’s shooting contest with Deshawn Stevenson, check it out.
–If you’re in Vegas and you see Spencer Haywood with a female clown, just move along…
–I just joined a spring league basketball team in NYC. We decided to call ourselves “Both Teams Played Hard”. This is great because I’ve been looking for a way to incorporate these words into my life more often. I think we’re going to be like the rec league Phoenix Suns. I plan on being the rec league Boris Diaw: Long, active, decent jumper, decent jump hook, made better by better players around him. If my buddy recovers from his skiing-related hand injury, we’ll have Steve Nash, and our captain is a Shawn Marion look alike. I don’t know if we’re going to have an Amare-esque presence, so we may be more like the ’06 Suns.
–Anyone else find it ironic that Tim Hardaway used to rock the Nike Air Bacons? You know, now that his ass is fried.
In a related note, who would be against locking Hardaway in a closet with Andy Dick and Sean Hayes? Anyone? Anyone? Good, I’m glad we clarified that.
–ASG 2007 MVP Prediction: Tony Parker. I’m only making this pick because without Nash and AI, Parker will be handling the ball a LOT. If the East wins, you gotta think Gilbert will go off.
–Is it bothersome that Joumana Kidd alleges that Jason has gotten more ass over the years than Iceberg Slim hosting a donkey convention in the Red Light District? No, not really. Is it bothersome that he allegedly once hit her with a cookie? Yes, yes it is. Unless Kidd actually picked up Magic Johnson’s wife, Cookie, and threw her into Joumana. Actually, that would have been much worse. (Related note: I read Magic Johnson’s “My Life” when I was in fifth grade. The whole chapter he talked about using condoms; I had no idea what he was talking about. I think at the time I thought he was referring to some sort of hat. I guess I wasn’t far off. Back then I also thought babies came from kissing. Again, I wasn’t far off, but that’s no excuse for how much of a pimp I thought Zack Morris was. “Zack, no. You’re going to get Kelly pregnant!” Anyway, I’m guessing many in Vegas haven’t read “My Life”… Along those lines, what’s the over under on number of groupies inseminated by NBA players? I’m going to keep it realistic and say 11.)
–Random All Star weekend memory: Back in 98, when the ASG hit NYC, I went out to the Jacob Javits center with two of my cousins for the big NBA convention. One of my cousins had been jumped earlier that year, so he’d started carrying knives with him. We got to the metal detector and he set the system off. When they asked him to empty his pockets, he pulled 4 knives out of his pockets. I think three of them were swiss army. An elderly female security guard looked at him quizzically and then asked, “Son, are you in the bloods?” Ironically, his face turned red, before we almost died of laughter.
–I’m glad I skipped the Rookie/Soph game last night to watch Boiler Room. I’m pretty sure the soundtrack alone was better than that game.
This entry was posted on Saturday, February 17th, 2007 at 2:57 pm and is filed under Uncategorized, Columnists, All-Star 2007. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
24 Responses to “Random Thoughts For A Long Weekend”
Feb.17 at 3:16 pm
AP says:
first!
Feb.17 at 3:28 pm
See Bee Fore says:
Slava Medvedenko?
Feb.17 at 3:35 pm
Jake Appleman says:
Long story…
Feb.17 at 3:54 pm
Brian says:
11??? Try 130 - minimum!
Feb.17 at 4:28 pm
Tariq says:
Yes, Slava is surprising. Also, KVH?
Feb.17 at 5:06 pm
DP says:
Slava, Jake? pretty funny. I am glad you like my catch phrase. You guys need to put it in your magazine. play wit it.
Feb.17 at 5:41 pm
TheHype says:
I’m thinking something else you need to put in the mag: an entire page that’s an ad for Slamonline and the only other words are–FIRST
Feb.17 at 6:07 pm
sefos says:
Zack Morris WAS a pimp, only he shoulda gone for Elizabeth Berkley. Who coulda known? and Loe Roe was just a complementary player. the real star of that team was Carmelo Travieso!
Feb.17 at 6:31 pm
Drolfe says:
Maybe they should change the name from Slam to Play Wit it.
Feb.17 at 6:37 pm
DP says:
Your are 100 percent right Drolfe. play wit it.
Feb.17 at 7:03 pm
Hersey says:
Love the knife story. lol
Feb.17 at 8:33 pm
Iversonbrotha says:
I’m sorry, but Tony Parker ain’t winnin mvp. I mean, he’s a great player . . . for the Spurs. But I don’t think he has the talent to hang with dudes on the all-star team. I think he may have a turnover problem.
Feb.17 at 9:15 pm
Iversonbrotha says:
anybody who’s taking Bavetta over Krispy Kreme Barkley is crazy . . . . . go Barkley . . . . beat the old hag
Feb.17 at 9:22 pm
Western_dream says:
Tony Parker will not win ASG MVP. I bet my balls on it. In fact, what about 20 thousand dollar, gil?
Feb.17 at 9:40 pm
Seth says:
“Fuck you, mom and dad!”
Feb.18 at 1:13 am
vinny says:
yo im just gonna be real straight up and tell you what i think about the a-s weekend. first of all props to dwade and jason kapono, atleast aomeone showed some hustle in the skills challenge and showed up dirk in the 3point shootout. he cracked man,he cracked! monta ellis and cp3,4 words,crazy as hell bitches! gerald green’s dunks were pretty nice,nate robinson’s would’ve been crazy if he actually dunked it, my man dwight howard!sticker slapped it boy! this all coming from a punk ass 12 year old!
Feb.18 at 5:26 am
ktokyo says:
Keith Van Horn?!? Shame on you!
Feb.18 at 6:39 am
Boing Dynasty says:
Jake, i dont even know if the over/under on Shawn Kemp should he that low. But Boiler Room is the shit. Although i dont like to be forced into giving up my slangin crack rock, or having a wicked jumpshot either.
1
Feb.18 at 9:03 am
Eoin says:
“Zack, no. You’re going to get Kelly pregnant!” Jake Appleman may be my favourite person ever, just for that. Also, TP could win it, he’s not gonna turn it over much in the No D Game. I don’t think he will but if he doesn’t, it won’t be because he turned it over too much.
Feb.18 at 12:52 pm
lutha says:
“Son, are you in the bloods”… The funniest thing ever..
Feb.18 at 1:49 pm
Jake Appleman says:
It’s sad that people don’t realize that KVH had a really good rookie year. 19 a game on a surprising playoff team. He actually used to put the ball on the floor back then. He’d try and cross guys, often resulting in turnovers, but it was still a sight to see. HIGH SOCKS.
Feb.18 at 5:48 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Keith Van Horn was good when he didn’t suck. Unfortunately my overwhelming memories of him are weak layups getting blocked and lots of random wandering outside the three point line. I definitely yelled “YOU’RE 6-10!” more than once from the press seats.
Feb.19 at 8:10 am
bja says:
Jake, you didn’t know where babies came from by 5th grade? You must be a slow developer. In 5th grade I was getting sent to the headmaster’s office for asking our teacher whether they gave bulls blow jobs to get the sperm to artificially inseminate the cows. Luckily, my dad thought that was so funny he didn’t even punish me when the school called to tell him about it.
Feb.20 at 8:07 pm
David says:
I remember that Van Horn and Duncan got a lot of comparisons during their first season. But I guess they proved how different they are pretty quickly after that.