Who’s Your Daddy?
Why, it’s David Stern of course!
Before I get into the post, let me throw on my Dave Zirin hat…
OK, so according to a column written by Mitch Lawrence in the NY Daily News on Sunday , David Stern and his lieutenants have decided that NBA players need to be parented just a 
liiiiittle bit more. After the tragic death of Denver Broncos cornerback Darrent Williams outside of a nightclub on New Year’s Eve, the League got shook—“Whoo” Jackson licking shots outside a nudie bar this summer probably didn’t help matters much either—and has decided that some after-hours spots should be off limits to NBA players.
Apparently, the NBA feels it’s their job to tell the grown ass men (some of whom have families) making millions of dollars and leading adult lives which clubs they may or may not frequent.
“the NBA this past week ordered its security forces in all 29 cities to come up with a list of clubs and other night spots that should be made off-limits to players. Once the clubs are identified, with the help of local law enforcement, the league will send a directive to teams mandating that players avoid those spots or be subject to a substantial fine.”
It should be noted that this juicy item only appeared in Lawrence’s column and has yet to be confirmed by any other major media outlet (at least none that I know of). However, should this be true, you can bet things between the League and the Players Union will become testier than usual. Not only are all kinds of civil liberties at risk here, but this reeks of incredible arrogance (not to mention paternalism) on the part of Stern and co.
There are so many questions here, most of which I’m not sure an adequate answer can be found:
-How would the League and these law enforcement officials determine which clubs should be off-limits?
-Anyone willing to bet that Utah law enforcement authorities will have the easiest task of all?
-How crazy would the League have to be to believe this kind of thing would pass?
-After the disaster of the new ball, how could they roll this out?
-Who would pay the fines? The players, the teams, or both?
-What kind of spin is the League going to put on this?
I never thought I would say this, but I think David Stern has lost his magic touch.
27 Responses to “Who’s Your Daddy?”
Jan.22 at 9:48 pm
Mr. Pink says:
lost his “magic touch”?! Try his fuckin mind!
Jan.22 at 10:13 pm
Chief says:
who the fuck does David Stern think he is.
This is just stupid
Jan.22 at 10:15 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I was REALLY hoping this would be about a paternity suit. Words cannot express my disappointment.
Jan.22 at 10:57 pm
mutoni says:
my bad, russ
Jan.22 at 11:06 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
Not your fault. And yeah, the whole idea of this is absurd. It’s not like professional athletes go to clubs where there’s trouble. It’s more like trouble follows professional athletes to clubs. Declare one “bad club” off-limits, the club they go to goes bad. I’m just waiting for the NBA to open their OWN clubs. Um, I didn’t say that.
Jan.23 at 12:25 am
J R says:
are the players gonna get fined if they dont eat their vegetables too?
Jan.23 at 12:45 am
Ryan Jones says:
“How crazy would the League have to be to believe this kind of thing would pass?” Um, I think we all asked the same question when they brought up the dress code.
Jan.23 at 12:47 am
Chief says:
Fuck they should all just open their own clubs so when they go to each city they cna chill at each others club.
Narrow the guest list down and they are in business.
Jan.23 at 1:25 am
Russ Bengtson says:
Will Stephen Jackson be allowed to go to clubs that people like Stephen Jackson go to?
Jan.23 at 4:52 am
wanmansou says:
What, is this some kind of ploy to get all the guys in the NBA front office a sizable raise?
Jan.23 at 5:03 am
Nick says:
David ‘Stalin’ stern
Jan.23 at 5:52 am
RustyShackleford says:
Typical Republican.
Jan.23 at 6:17 am
Froggiestyle says:
Come on y’all, this is fantastic! Just like the nba btw. It makes nuttin but sense. We all need bigger, better, mentaler daddy figures. Shoot, I could tell Whoo Jackson where he can and cant go. I know way better that he does what’s right for him. Ie. house and court arrest - that way he cant get into any trouble (or can he, he’s a crafty one).
And besides, it would also solve that pesky rap music thing problem. Only allow players to frequent establishments which have wholesome good music - soft rock and classic top 40’s. Experts have conducted a great deal of tests, and you just cannot become aggressive, want to fight, or pop a proverbial cap off when you listen to air supply, peter cetera and richard marx. Studies show that when baseball caps area forwards, you are more forward thinking, when jeans are tightened up your lax attitude goes away… Oh yes, this is the dawn of a new era, a glowing golden era, true blue values and endless goodness for all. God bless nonsense.
Jan.23 at 9:27 am
J says:
the nba could lose a lot of money because every single club that made their no-go list could file a lawsuit saying that the nba has slandered their reputation
Jan.23 at 11:43 am
Boing Dynasty says:
Hey remember when Stern and his act of “kindness” decided to give the players back thier balls. Can you say “barganing chip”.
Jan.23 at 1:21 pm
Reggie Evans says:
Strip club, baby!!!!
Jan.23 at 10:15 pm
Mr. Pink says:
Boing Dynasty says:
Hey remember when Stern and his act of “kindness” decided to give the players back thier balls. Can you say “barganing chip”. Haha… your move, mr. Hunter.
Jan.24 at 10:15 am
Huey Freeman says:
I got 4 words:
Forty Million Dollar Slaves
Jan.24 at 10:51 am
Huey Freeman says:
The NBA is gradually losing me as a fan
Jan.24 at 1:36 pm
Khalid Salaam says:
This will never happen.
Jan.24 at 10:14 pm
R7 says:
if this thing happens, whats next?? curfews?
Jan.25 at 12:59 am
Jomo Basoga says:
The NBA is the best representation of a plantation there is. ESPN and NYTimes columnist William C. Rhoden wrote vividly about this type of scenario in last year’s “Forty Million $laves.” Now of course most are uneasy and unable to see how a bunch of multimillionaire athletes can be deemed as slaves however this latest move of Stern’s is just another example.
Who pays these Black ballers’ salary? Who tells them how to dress; how to act; and what charities and causes to take on?
That’s for starters.
But what’s even more frustrating is that when the players had Stern by the balls back in the ‘98-’99 season during the lockout, they could’ve pooled their talent, expertise and economic resources and formed their own league.
They still have the wherewithal to do so but will they?
Will they be willing to give up buying more Aston Martins, Maybachs, Lamborghini or platinum and diamond chains for the ability to play in a league where they can set the rules on hairstyles, leather ball vs pleather ball, apparel, etc.
Jan.25 at 1:09 am
Jomo Basoga says:
Stern, the recruiters, agents, etc know the background of many of today’s NBA players. They know about the incoming group as well.
They know that many of them are uneducated, some thugs, some from meager means yet they expect for them to bite their tongues and become model citizens overnight just because they’ve signed multimillion $ contracts.
It doesn’t work that way. If Stern wants a change then he’d institute a similar rule to the NFL which doesn’t allow a player to leave before his Junior season.
That would help somewhat but Stern’s greed has made him arrogant to the point where he thinks that by stuffing these guys’ pockets that they’ll keep quiet and comply but hopefully there’ll soon be an uprising.
Jan.25 at 2:15 pm
Mansa says:
It is not about the player’s ages. I played college football; when i played, all other athletes (soccer, hockey, football, even track) viewed the basketball players as the ‘pretty boys’. This bravado you now see from college and professional bb players is simply trying to shake off that ‘pretty’ soft image.
That said, black people need to wake up. Things are not rosey for us. True we now have 2 black billionaires, etc; but trust me, the white boys are not all smiles at how we are eclipsing the social agenda. hip-hop now surpasses rock and roll. What Stern is doing is quite simply saying “Hey, we don’t care if u’re making a million a year; we (the white boys) are still in control”
As for most of these athletes being thugs .. i think you need to do some more in-depth research. i played ball for a big school (NCAA Div 1A)…. true, some kids make it in who ran the streets, but realize, the level of training and time you have to focus to training, does not leave too much time to be engaged in criminal activities. A lot of what you see are fantasies.
My take on the bronco’s corner back who got killed… likely some one was jealous of him; or maybe he was fucking with someone’s girl..who knows.
Jan.25 at 9:54 pm
jbn74sb says:
“Who would pay the fines? The players, the teams, or both?” None of the above. The clubs and other off-limit places will pay the fines. This will be like putting Explicit Lyrics stickers on CDs, and these spots will relish the publicity. At least among the highly coveted gun-toting, parking lot shooting demographic.
Jan.26 at 10:43 am
BETCATS says:
speakin of daddys, i say a Gnals Barklry Video calld ‘daddy be gone’ that was a disturbin video
Feb.6 at 12:14 am
» Judge Kobe and Judge Vince? - SLAM ONLINE says:
[…] Here’s what I don’t get: The NBA can force its players to alter the way they dress; it can get them to only address the referees after having politely raised their hands like good students; and might even start telling them which clubs to hit after the game; but can’t get its biggest stars to participate in what used to be one of the League’s markee events. […]