Music Review: Ron Artest’s My World
The best rapping NBA player alive has a new album out.
Ron Artest’s new album was delivered to the office a few days ago. Yes, it was Christmas in September. The stance that Ron takes on his musical career is that he wants you to judge him as an artist, not a basketball player that happens to rap. Of course, that is impossible. This is Ron Artest, rapping!
All these rappers want to talk tough, making up stories about crime or even telling the truth about their past every once in a while. Whatever it takes to get people to buy their music. Am I wrong?
Ron is real, perhaps the realest rapper out. His motivation for making this album is, well, you can never be sure of why he does anything. I’d prefer to let his lyrics do the talking.
The first song on the album after the opening skit is called “Haters.” Here are some quotables from that song:
“I admit I used to smoke before games.”
“Hit the liquor store at halftime.”
“David Stern! Damn, David Stern. I gotta teach you bout the ghetto there’s some things you should learn.”
“Matt Lauer, up on NBC. You look like a girl don’t talk to me.”
Three minutes into the album. This is f’ng amazing already. Nowadays I’m kind of leery of beef for the sake of beef, but Ron had some stuff to get off his chest, and he does. There’s plenty more on that song. You’ll have to buy the album to experience it yourself. Moving on.
The next song is called “Bad Karma.” Pimp game explained. Groupie stories, check. The much publicized Kirilenko free pass is nothing compared to what Ron’s got going on. This album is already more controversial than Allen “Jewelz” Iverson’s “40 bars.” The next song is called “Working the Pole.” Self-explanatory. And how did this album not make EW’s top 25 most anticipated of the year? Will the Maloof brothers play “Working the Pole” at Kings games? That should be on everybody’s questions about the upcoming NBA season that need to be answered list.
After the initial blast, “My World” turns into a feel-good party album. Then, out of nowhere there’s a skit of Ron hosting a conference at the UN, followed by a concious song called “No Good.” I don’t want to ruin it for you with a bunch of quotes. You need to listen for yourself. My initial reaction when listening to it was “I can’t believe this is happening.”
There’s a song called “Coroner”, the tribute to friends that have passed away or been murdered, and Ron expresses regret that he couldn’t do more for those friends of his to make their lives safer. “Rap Game” covers the shady industry (rap not basektball) with some Phantom of the Opera type organs, there’s some more party songs that approach being R&B, then there’s the mix tape hit from last year “Get Low” with Mike Jones and Nature.
When you get to something called “I Like My Song”, watch out. Yikes. Uh… it’s a fun song.
Now for the quotables towards the end of the album. He gets political saying “I ain’t goin’ nowhere, like blacks running for president.” That’s deep. But the gem of the album is called “Doing My Thang.” It’s inspirational. INSPIRATIONAL!!! “If you work at Mickey D’s for now, you’re doing your thing. / If you ever got suspended from the league a whole year came back puttin up numbers, you’re doin your thing, that’s me, you know I’m talkin about myself.” Oh you think that’s not an exact quote? Listen to the song.
And I guess this is the line we’ve all been waiting for from Ron. “I don’t feel insane, the world is crazy” on the song “Not Easy.”
You need to buy this album. It comes out Halloween. David Stern will try to have it pulled from the shelves before Thanksgiving (Hater). I know Ron wants to be judged as a rapper, not a rapping basketball player, but it needs to be said that this is the greatest album in the history of rapping basketball players. The beats are nothing special, but not painfully bad. I don’t want to use the gangsta scale, cause that’s Omar’s thing. If I were to grade it, I’d give it 4 out of 5. Right now my life is more enriched than yours because I have heard this album and you have not. Catch up.
23 Responses to “Music Review: Ron Artest’s My World”
Sep.28 at 10:16 am
Marcel Mutoni says:
“Matt Lauer, up on NBC. You look like a girl don’t talk to me.” Greatest. Lyric. Ever.
Sep.28 at 10:59 am
Most Valuable Network - Cagin’ Bulls - A Chicago Bulls column » All Hallow’s Eve 2006 says:
[…] But really, the event taking place on Halloween of this year that will have the biggest impact on the league is the release of My World from Ron Artest. SLAM Online saw the stars align over them in a sky that rained a single copy of the album, and Sam Rubenstein has posted a somewhat neutered review here. […]
Sep.28 at 11:05 am
Ryan Jones says:
We had Sam neutered about two years ago, so I guess that makes sense.
Sep.28 at 11:10 am
Sam Rubenstein says:
At least they say it’s only somewhat neutered. I should have left that paragraph in where I make fun of the album for not having enough cursing or violence.
Sep.28 at 11:16 am
Russ Bengtson says:
Um, please tell me you got an extra copy or can burn me one.
Sep.28 at 11:17 am
Marcel Mutoni says:
Uh, yeah me too, Sam.
Sep.28 at 11:24 am
Cheryl says:
What’s wrong with lokking like a girl??
Sep.28 at 12:22 pm
Jake Appleman says:
You could burn yourself a copy and then use the real copy as collateral for playoff tickets…
Sep.28 at 1:06 pm
Boing Dynasty says:
Cheryl would it be cool if you looked like a dude.
………………………………………………………..the answers no.
Sep.28 at 1:20 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
burning copies of trademarked CDs is illegal, and I can’t condone such activity. Meet me outside in five minutes.
Sep.28 at 1:47 pm
noah doucette says:
ron shuda had a duet with sheed.
Sep.28 at 3:06 pm
albie1kenobi says:
no no. more like him and AI doing a track called “2 of Amerikaz most misunderstood”.
Sep.28 at 3:12 pm
Russ Bengtson says:
I actually hope bootlegs of this are being sold on Canal Street.
Sep.28 at 3:58 pm
Lang Whitaker says:
…and then Ron Ron shows up on Canal Street and flips over all the bootleggers tables.
Sep.28 at 5:59 pm
albie1kenobi says:
i was channel surfing last night and saw artest on 106 and Park. don’t know what he’s doing there (i guess to promote/perform) coz it was channel surfing time.
Sep.28 at 7:11 pm
Sam Rubenstein says:
UPDATE: Just listened to the “haters” song again. It’s so much better than I said. He accuses people of accusing him of starting a riot just so he could make the cover of Penthouse.
The U.N. meetings skit is straight out of a Kool Keith album. Amazing.
Sep.29 at 12:00 am
Drolfe says:
I wonder when it drops down here in Australia.. I gotta hear that being suspended and coming back line. Crazy.
Sep.29 at 12:54 am
Jayson17 says:
If that was a biblical reference Lang, hilarious…
Sep.29 at 6:23 am
kdubb says:
Great review. Man if the Sternbot tries to stop this, that’s just retarted. Too bad we could never see a ron ron / Ol’ dirty bastard collabo. it’d be like a day at the circus. gangsta circus that is…
Oct.23 at 2:55 pm
» The Links: Ronaldinho meets Michael Jordan; Jay Williams sent home - SLAM Online says:
[…] Actually, I don’t think SLAM published the lyrics. Our own Sam Rubenstein published some lyrics right here, but SLAM the magazine didn’t publish the lyrics. Which means Sam Smith is reporting incorrect information. Shocking, isn’t it Mark Cuban? […]
Nov.4 at 6:52 pm
Joaquím says:
I can stick with Sam that this album contains good lyrics, and that Ron Artest is one of the realest mothafuckas in da game. But, I don’t know if you guys got ears, but this man can NOT rap. He’s going off beat, rappin some wierd shit in da middle of the songs, reapets himself like ten times in every song. I mean, this ain’t a bad album, it contains some good songs and good beats, but Ron’s bad feeling for music ruins the whole album. I think you should do what you’re good at. Ron’s a basketball player, not a rapper, remember that!
Dec.29 at 12:33 pm
» Why Ron Artest needs to be traded to Los Angeles - SLAM Online says:
[…] I’m the guy that gave his album a rave review while everyone else cracked their snarky little jokes about how it didn’t sell. Most people probably heard a few singles or dismissed the album all together. Here is the hidden gem. I told the world about this, but it did not hear me. Brief background info: I love skits on rap albums. Most people skip past them or call them filler and a waste of time. I love them. Whether it’s Freeky Zeeky on the jail phone or Pakinamacindabackofdaac, I appreciate a classic interlude when I hear it. Now, here is Ron Ron hosting a United Nations conference. Kool Keith-esque. This thing came up randomly on my ipod when I was at the gym last night and I almost fell off the treadmill from laughing/excitement. Have a listen, then go buy the album: […]
Jan.21 at 1:46 am
alex says:
I’m sorry but anyone that actually types in the word da, instead of the is retarded, and about ron-ron’s album I thought it was actually better than most mainstream rap. Yes I am talking to you Jim Jones.